Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV
program Battlestar Galactica are the creations of SciFi,
Lost ~ Mick1997
The smoke was getting to him. He couldn't stop coughing. He
had already given the order to abandon ship. He had stayed behind--it was his
ship after all. He was going to make sure the fleet got away safely. He had
already turned the ship to head straight into the Cylon basestar
they'd been battling. Now all he had to do was wait to die. At least he would
die knowing the people he cared about were safe. They had made it off the
planet. His father would lead them all to Earth. For him, his battles were
almost over. Finally he could get some peace. He leaned up against the console
in CIC. He could hear the ship buckling. The smoke was getting thicker. He
prayed it would go quickly. He ignored the sounds from the wireless.
"Lee! Gods damnit Lee, answer me!"
His father was frantic. Lee knew his death would hurt the old man, but he knew
Kara would take care of him, get him through it. They were closer, anyway. She
was more like Bill Adama's child than he was. He was more of a disappointment.
He slowly closed his eyes. He heard more metal clanging. This sound was
different. He felt a touch on his face. His eyes flew open. A beautiful blonde
woman was in front of him, stroking his face.
"Are you alive?" she purred.
Lee looked behind her and saw two Cylon centurions. He looked back to her.
"You're too late," he rasped out.
Number Six smiled and laughed. "Oh no, Apollo, we're right on time."
She motioned to the centurions behind her. "Take him."
She got up as the machines roughly hauled Lee to his feet. They dragged him to
the hangar bay and threw him to the floor of a heavy raider. As the raider
launched, Pegasus hit its mark, both it and the basestar
erupting into a massive ball of flame.
************************************************************
Three days had passed since the fleet had left New Caprica. Most of the military
personnel who had been on the planet reenlisted and were performing their
former jobs. Cally had given birth to a baby
boy two days after the attacks--the first child born since the second end of
the world. Her and
The Colonials had been lucky, losing only a few hundred people in the battle.
Everyone was still in a state of shock.
Gaius Baltar had resigned almost immediately, saying
he thought Laura Roslin would be much better to lead the fleet. He returned to
his lab on Galactica, figuring it would be safer than to be among civilians. He
pretty much stayed in his lab talking to himself.
Laura Roslin was once again able to instill hope in the people. She used
Kara sat next to her husband's bedside aboard Galactica. His pneumonia was being
treated with the antibiotics that Lee had made sure got off Pegasus before its
destruction. She chuckled at the irony--at one point she had begged Lee for the
medicine so her husband wouldn't die. Now her husband was alive getting the
medicine and Lee was dead.
"Kara," Sam whispered.
"Hey. You're awake. Here, drink this." She gave him some water.
"Thanks."
"How're you feeling?" she asked.
"Better. How long have we been here? And where is here?"
"Three days. We're on Galactica."
"Wow."
Kara nodded, wondering how she was going to tell him.
"How long do I have to stay here?" Sam asked.
"Doc says a couple more days. You'll still need to rest, build your
strength back up."
Sam nodded. "I guess then we need to find a ship. Find a place to live. Something to do." He grabbed her hand and squeezed.
"Sam..."
He looked at her. "What is it?"
Kara pulled her hand away. "I'm staying here. I've rejoined the military.
I'm going to fly again."
"Kara, you can't."
"Yes, I can. I already did."
Sam was getting upset. "And what about me? Us?"
"You can stay here. We can get private quarters."
"And what am I suppose to do?"
"I don't know. Maybe you could become a trainer--help everyone get back in
shape," she said with a slight smile.
"And be what--Mr. Starbuck?"
Kara looked at him hard. "It didn't bother you before."
"Before we weren't married."
"Sam, I'm a pilot. Besides, I can't leave..." she trailed off.
"What can't you leave, Kara?"
Kara looked down, fighting the tears. She took a deep breath. "The fleet
still needs protection."
Sam just shook his head. "I don't know if I can live with not knowing
whether or not you'll be alive tomorrow. Kara, I want a future with you. Kids. I thought you wanted that too."
"Things have changed, Sam. Look, I've got to go. I'll come by later. We
can talk some more then."
"Fine. Kara--be careful."
"I will." She turned to leave as Sam called out to her.
"Hey Kara? What ship will you be on?"
Kara looked at him sadly and mumbled, "There's only one left."
"What did you say?"
Kara cleared her throat. "The Pegasus was destryoed
in the battle. Lee didn't make it off."
"I'm sorry."
Kara nodded slightly. "Me too."
************************************************************
The lights were off. There was no sense in having them on. His room was as dark
as he felt. Bill Adama took another drink. He'd been doing that alot the last couple of days, drinking. Tigh was sober and
he was drunk. He laughed at the absurbity of that.
There was a knock at the door. He didn't answer,
hoping whoever it was would leave him to his misery. He wasn't that lucky. The
knocking kept on, until eventually the door opened.
"Go away!" he grounded out.
"Bill." It was Saul Tigh.
"Go away and shut the door behind you."
Tigh shut the door and then went and sat across from his oldest friend. Adama
glared at him.
"I thought I told you to leave."
Tigh shrugged. "It's been a while. Guess I forgot how to take
orders."
"What do you want, Saul?"
Tigh looked at his friend. "Roslin called. She wants to have a memorial
for those that...that didn't make it."
"So? Have one."
"She wants you to speak."
"I've got nothing to say."
Tigh cleared his throat. "She thought it would be nice if you named the
military personnel we lost."
Adama laughed bitterly. "She did, huh? No thanks." He got up and
poured himself another drink.
"He wouldn't want you acting this way, you know."
Adama took another swallow of the alcohol. "How would you know what HE
would want? You didn't know him. I hardly knew him." Tigh said nothing as
Adama went on, letting the alcohol do the talking. "And since when do you
care what he would want? For lords sake, you locked
him in the brig with my blood all over his hands--handcuffed--and never let him
see me!"
Tigh got defensive. "Oh, come on Bill, that was
almost two years ago!"
Adama got quiet. "Maybe. I guess it doesn't
really matter now, does it? We can't go back in time. Can't
make up for our mistakes. No do overs."
Adama took another drink. "Do you believe there's something after this,
Saul? Do you think we go to a better place after we..."
"Honestly Bill, I don't know. But if there is, I know Lee is there."
He walked over to his friend and placed his hands on Bill's shoulders.
"You should be proud of him, Bill. Once again, he saved humanity. Honor
his memory by fighting for what he gave his life for." Tigh turned to
leave.
"Saul--let me know when Laura schedules the memorial. I'll speak."
Tigh smiled a bit. "Okay."
************************************************************
A week had gone by. Cottle had released Anders from sick bay. He and Kara had
talked more about her plans. He decided that he couldn't deal with her flying
again. When she refused to give up flying for him, he knew they didn't have a
future together. They quietly dissolved their marriage. Anders left to go to
the Rising Star. He had volunteered to develop exercise classes for the
children of the fleet. Kara put everything she had into flying. She had been
appointed CAG as well. It was a position she really didn't want again, but more
work meant less time to think. She had tried numerous times to talk to Adama,
but he wouldn't let anyone in.
Adama performed his duties as always but spoke to no one about anything other
than work. After his shift in CIC, he would promptly return to his quarters and
lock his door. Tigh, Kara, even Laura had tried speaking with him, but he shut
them out. Truth be told, he didn't know how to let them in. He wasn't ready to
say goodbye to his son--part of him felt like Lee wasn't gone.
Laura had set up the memorial service. It would be broadcast throughout the
fleet. The service itself would be held on Galactica, attended by all but a few
crew members.
As everyone gathered, a Geminon priestess opened with
a prayer. Laura read a list of civilians who had been lost. Then Adama stood in
front of the crowd. He looked at all their faces and then proceeded to read the
names of the military personnel lost. He got to the last name on the list and
stopped. He didn't want to say it--saying it put it out there, made it real. Silence
hung over the room like a thick fog. Many had tears in their eyes. Kara refused
to look at Adama's face. She knew the look of loss he wore. She had seen
it--been indirectly responsisble for it--almost four
years ago. It was burned on her memory.
Adama took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He took in a deep breath. With
an immense amount of pride and an immense amount of sadness he said the final
name, "Commander Lee Adama."
Chapter Two
When Lee awoke, he wasn't quite sure where he was. After a
few minutes, his memories came flooding back. **The battle. Pegasus.
Cylons.** He immediately sat
up and regretted it as a wave of dizziness hit him full force. He started
coughing, a reminder of the smoke and fire. He waited for the room to stop
spinning, then carefully looked around. He was in a
cell, no windows, one door, the cot he was on, and a toilet. Nothing
else. The room was small--maybe 8x8 feet. He wasn't sure how long he'd
been there--hours? days? Hell, he didn't even know
where he was. A flash of a memory came to him. **We'll never leave.** His father's words. Lee's heart seized up. Would his
father even know where to look? He went to the door. Locked.
He started banging on it.
"Hey! Hey! Anyone out there?"
No response. He went and sat back down on the cot, holding his head in his
hands.
"Okay Lee. Okay." He got up and started pacing. "Calm down. Breath. They'll find you. They'll come." He kept
repeating the statement, over and over again, trying to convince himself it was
true.
************************************************************
In a small room, a monitor was being watched.
"When do you want to start questioning him?" Doral asked.
"Wait a few days," Six replied. "Wear him down."
Doral turned to look at her. "You think we'll be able to do that? Wear him
down?"
"He's human," she responded. "Weak."
"I don't know," Doral said, turning back to the screen. "I get
the feeling he's stronger than most."
"We'll see," Six said.
************************************************************
Lee finally gave up on pacing and laid down on the
cot. Staring at the ceiling, he thought about all his loved ones. Although he
wasn't a religious man, he prayed for his father to find him, prayed that
everyone had made it off of New Caprica--Kara, Laura.
He heard a sound at the door and sat up. There was someone outside, but the
door never opened. Instead, a small slot at the bottom of the door opened, and
a tray was pushed through. He waited a moment to see if anyone would enter.
When no one did, he got up and went to the tray.
"No utensils. Figures," he said wryly. On the tray were two pieces of
bread and a glass of water. "Fit for a king," he mused. He eyed the
bread and the water suspiciously. Shrugging, he said, "Well, I guess if
they wanted me dead, they would have done it by now." He sat down on the
cot and ate in silence.
For the first three days, that's how his life went. Three times a day, food was
pushed through--sometimes bread, sometimes fruit. No one ever came in. He
started marking the days as they passed on the wall, using a small piece of
rock he found on the floor. It made him feel like he was still a part of life.
When he slept, he dreamt of his family and friends--those who were hopefully
still alive and those he had lost. He silently willed his father to find him,
hoping somehow Adama would hear him and come for him.
************************************************************
Adama wished he was no longer a part of life. He dreaded getting out of bed
each morning. He was basically just going though the motions. He refused to
talk to anyone. He did his job and nothing more. When he was off duty, he sat
in his room staring at the pictures of his family. There weren't many that
included him. How he regretted that now! He looked at the smiling faces of his
sons--they looked so happy, so free, not a care in the world. He hoped they
were together now. He imagined them laughing, no worries to nag at them. He
thought over the last two years. That time had brought him and Lee closer. He
was so proud of his son. He suddenly tried to remember if he ever told Lee
that. Did Lee know how much his father loved him? How proud he was of him? A
sharp pang struck his heart. If only he could go back in time, just to say the
things he felt but never voiced. He grabbed his bottle of ambrosia. Lately,
that was the only thing that helped him sleep. He knew he needed to snap out of
it. He had people depending on him--humanity depended on him. The humanity Lee
fought so hard to save. Tigh was right--Lee wouldn't want him acting this way.
He put the bottle down and sighed, then got up to go to bed. He would keep
searching for Earth. If for nothing else, then for the memory
of his son.
************************************************************
A week after he had woken up in his cell, the door opened. Lee looked up,
squinting at the bright light coming in through the door. He stood up as two
centurions walked into the room, followed by a familiar looking man.
"Doral," Lee said.
Doral smiled. "Yes. One of them, anyway."
"What do you want?"
Doral looked around. "How are your accommodations?"
Lee laughed. "Oh yeah, they're just great. Where's the pool?" he said
sarcastically.
Doral looked at him. "Well, I know it's not the Pegasus commander’s
quarters you're used to."
Lee kept silent.
"He won't look for you, you know."
"What do you want?" Lee repeated.
"Simple. We want to know where the fleet jumped to."
"I don't know," Lee responded matter-of-factly.
Now Doral laughed. "Come, come, commander. You were the second highest
ranking military figure in the fleet. You expect me to believe that you don't
know where the fleet jumped to?"
"I don't really expect you'll believe anything I say. But it's the truth.
The Pegasus was damaged. She couldn't jump. We abandoned ship. I wouldn't need
to know the coordinates."
The look Doral gave Lee chilled him to the bone. "Wrong
answer, commander."
Lee just shrugged.
"Okay. Where is Earth?"
"Don't know that either. If I did, we'd already be there."
"Fine. I'll play it your way now. But maybe I'll
give you something to think about." He motioned to the two centurions, who
grabbed Lee on either side, then Doral proceeded to
take out all his anger on a defenseless Lee.
************************************************************
"NO!" Adama yelled, jolting upright in bed. He was breathing
hard, sweating. He heard a pounding on his door.
"Admiral! Admiral! Bill! Are you all right?
Answer me!" Laura yelled from the other side of the door.
Adama got up to let her in and turned back to his bathroom. He splashed some
cold water on his face, trying to wash off the remnants of the nightmare. He
walked back into his living area to find Laura seated on one of the couches.
She smiled at him gently. "You okay?"
He sighed as he sat down. "Depends on what you mean by okay?"
Laura eyed the man in front of her. "Care to talk about it?"
"Not really. No."
"It might help."
Bill stared at Laura. In her face, he saw nothing but compassion and
understanding. He took a deep breath. "It was Lee. He was hurt, bleeding.
The Cylons were hurting him. He kept yelling out for
me to help him. To make them stop. But I..." he stopped.
"Go on, Bill," she gently urged.
He cleared his throat. "But I stayed on Galactica. I didn't go to
him." He looked away, feeling the tears sting his eyes. He felt Laura sit
next to him,patting his leg.
She was quiet for a minute, digesting what he had told her. "You know it
was just a dream." It was all she could come up with.
"It was the truth," he said with disgust in his voice. Disgust at himself.
"No."
He turned to look at her, guilt ravaging his face. "Yes. I always, always,
put my duty above my family. I missed out on so much, Laura. So
much. I'll never get it back."
Laura sat, at a loss for words.
"I've got to be in CIC soon. If you don't mind," he said, standing
up.
"Of course," she answered.
He walked her to the door. "Thank you," he said softly.
She turned to look at him. He met her eyes. "For trying to help me,"
he continued.
Laura smiled sadly. "I will always miss him, and always keep his memory
here," she said, gesturing to her heart. "If you need
anything..."
"I know."
************************************************************
Lee managed to drag himself off the floor and onto the cot. Everything hurt. He
had bruises on top of bruises. He laid on the cot and
concentrated on his breathing. The door to his cell opened again, but he didn't
have the strength to get up and see who it was.
"What now?" he asked in a raspy voice. He felt someone sit next to
him, then felt fingertips gently brush his forehead.
He opened his eyes to see Six looking back at him.
"How do you feel?" she purred.
Lee said nothing as she touched a cut above his eye.
"I'm only trying to help you," Six said, brushing his cheek. "I
know you must be in pain. I can make you feel better. All you have to do is
ask." Her voice sounded like silk.
"I want to go home," Lee stated.
Six sighed. "Unfortunately, I can't help you with that. But I can take
care of you. Run interferance with Doral."
"And why would you do that?"
"Not all of us are evil."
Lee didn't respond. He simply rolled away from her. He felt her get up.
"Okay. I know you must be tired. I'll be back later to check on you."
Lee refused to acknowledge her. He heard her leave, thankful to be alone.
**Please come soon** he silently prayed.
Chapter Three
Adama knew he would never be the same man he was once
before. Like everyone else, he had suffered loss. But to have to deal with the
deaths of both his sons was almost more than he could handle. He thought that
by putting Lee in command he would be safe. Well, as safe as one could be in
war. He would never say that out loud, though. Lee was the best choice--he
never doubted that for a minute. But deep down inside, the father in him was
relieved that Lee would no longer be fighting in a Viper. If he had only
known--all his Vipers came back that day, but his son had not.
Things on Galactica had gotten back to normal--as normal as possible
considering they had lost their homes again. Adama found himself
interacting with his crew more. They were all he had left. He knew a part of
him would always be missing, but that was why he went on, to honor that part.
As he headed down the corridor to the mess, he heard laughter. He couldn't
remember the last time he had laughed. Curious, he followed the sound. He
stopped when he saw its origin. It was Cally and
"Uh, no sir,"
"And blowing bubbles," Cally added.
He looked at the baby in Cally's arms. "May
I?"
Cally handed Matthew over to him. Adama smiled.
"It's been a long time since I've held someone this little." He
looked up at Cally and
Adama continued interacting with Matthew, smiling and cooing at the baby.
"I never told you, but I'm very honor..." his voice cracked
"...honored that you chose his middle name to be Lee."
"Well sir,"
"We were hoping, sir," Cally said
nervously, "well, if you wouldn't mind. We would be honored if you would
be a surrogate grandfather for Matthew."
Adama looked up, clearly moved. "I always looked forward to the day I
could be a grandfather. The honor would be mine."
Both Cally and
Adama nodded "I'll be more than happy to tell him about Lee."
************************************************************
A month. To Lee it felt like a lifetime. Doral constantly questioned him about
the fleet. About Earth. He never gave them the answers
they wanted, and they made him pay for it. Doral chained him by his wrists for
two days after one interrogation. He had also dislocated Lee's left knee. Then
he'd left him there alone. But later, Six had come in.
Although at the time she couldn't help him with his knee or get him out of that
room, she did bring him water and a little food. She would wipe his face and
neck with a cool cloth. He found himself wondering if maybe he could trust
her--it would be so nice just to have someone to talk to--then mentally berated
himself for even thinking about trusting a Cylon. They had wiped out his home,
killed his mother, his friends. After the two days, Doral had Lee roughly
dragged back to his cell. Six came in, and as gently as she could, she reset
his knee. Lee cried out, then passed out. When he came
to, she was still there.
"Do you think you can drink?" she asked softly.
Lee simply shook his head, as she helped him take a few sips of water.
"How do you feel?" she asked, compassion all
over her face.
"How do I look?" He hated that his voice sounded so weak.
"Are you hungry?"
Lee's stomach turned at the thought of food. "Not right now."
"Okay."
Lee closed his eyes and felt himself drifting. His mind went back to happier
times. Summers at the lake with his parents and Zak, before
the divorce. Times at the academy. Triad on Galactica. The night his father
gave him the commander insignias. He never heard Six
leave.
Six left and went into the room across the hall. Doral was staring at the
monitor. "Do you think it's working?" he
asked.
"I don't know."
"He's too smart," Doral said. "He'll never tell you anything, no
matter how nice you are to him."
Six shrugged. "You might be right." She turned to him, an evil smile
spreading across her face. "But it's so much fun playing with his
head."
Doral shook his head. "I don't know why we just don't take him to a farm. I mean, look at him."
"Don't." Six's voice suddenly turned as cold as ice.
"He's an Adama. Remember that."
"I guess."
"As fine of a specimen as he is, you know that Adama DNA will never be
able to breed with Cylons. Besides, the prophecy says
that Apollo will be our downfall. One way or another, we will make sure that
won't happen. Whether it be because we destroy humanity
first or destroy him first." Doral simply nodded.
A little while later, Doral walked into Lee's cell. "Let's try this again,
commander."
Lee moaned. "I still won't tell you anything."
"He won't come, you know. He won't. Better face that fact now. You're
nothing but a disappointment to him. I mean, you got Pegasus destroyed. A far
superior battlestar, I might add."
"Shut-up. You don't know what you're talking about," Lee spat out.
"Really?" Doral said, raising his eyebrows.
"Well, let's see. He didn't come to your high school graduation. No
sporting events. Wasn't there when you graduated--with
honors--from the Academy. Wasn't there when you got
your wings, or your promotions. And how about the
rough stuff? Where was he when you got so sick with the flu that you had
to be hospitalized? He didn't come when you were sick. Why would he come
now?"
Lee said nothing, trying to understand how the Cylon could know so much about
his life.
"Fine," Doral said. "Have it your way. I'll tell you what. You
don't talk, you don't eat. We'll see how long it takes now." Then he left.
Lee rolled over on the cot as memories of his life came back, and memories of
how his father was never there. "No," he said. "He'll come. He
promised he wouldn't leave. He promised." Lee closed his eyes as the tears
fell.
The next morning, Lee heard the door to the cell open. He was too tired to even
turn his head. "I still won't tell you anything," he said. His head
hurt. He was hungry. His knee was swollen and ached miserably. He felt someone
by his side.
"Shh. I'm not here to talk." Lee turned to
see Six, who was constantly darting her eyes to the
door. "I was able to bring you a little food and some water." She
handed him the bottle. He sat up and drank greedily, and then she gave him a
piece of bread. "It's not much," she whispered, "but it's all I
could get without causing suspicion.
"Why?" Lee asked, confused.
"You don't deserve to be treated this way."
Lee took a bite of the bread. "Thanks," he mumbled.
She smiled. "How's the pain?"
He grunted. "Bearable, I guess."
"Look, I've got to go. I'll bring more when I can."
Lee nodded and laid back down on the cot. Six brushed
the hair on his forehead before leaving. He didn't flinch.
************************************************************
Doral was waiting outside for Six. "Well?"
"We'll see," she smiled.
************************************************************
Lee couldn't understand why the Cylon was being so nice to him. Could she
really be on his side? He remembered hearing from the Cavil model that some of
the Cylons sympathized with humanity--they didn't
want any harm to come to them. Was she a sympathizer, or was she just playing
him? Trying to earn his trust so he would divulge the info they wanted? He was
so confused, and the pain mixed with the hunger didn't help matters any. He
knew he needed to keep his guard up.
Chapter four
That's how Lee's days went--questioned by Doral, pain, then Six tending to him. She was still having
to sneak in food to him.
"Why hasn't he killed me yet?" Lee suddenly asked Six.
"I don't know."
"You two don't talk?" he asked, looking at her.
"The Doral model and I don't get along. We don't see eye to eye on
anything."
Lee nodded, taking another sip of the water she had snuck in. "How long
have I been here?" He had stopped keeping track weeks ago.
Six sighed. "About two months."
Lee digested that information. "I guess he's really not coming," he
whispered.
Six looked at him sadly. "I'm sorry. I know you were holding out hope. Truth
be told, I was hoping for you."
"Doesn't matter."
"He doesn't deserve to have you as a son anyway," she stated
angrily. "Look at all you've accomplished. You were the youngest commander
in the history of the Colonial fleet. Has he ever told you that he was proud of
you?"
Lee shook his head.
Six began stroking his arm. "Look at how strong you are. You're a fighter
Lee. You fought so hard for humanity, and all they've done is abandoned
you."
"They don't know where to look," he said with hope in his voice.
"Lee, we still have spies in the fleet. They're not even looking. They've
given up on you."
"No," Lee said, tears threatening to spill. "He said he wouldn't
leave."
"I can take care of you. I can keep you safe."
Lee laughed bitterly. "How?"
Six thought for a moment. "Tell me where the fleet is. I'll contact one of
our operatives."
Lee looked at her, shocked. "Why?"
"I can get you away from here."
"If I recall, some time ago you told me you couldn't help me escape."
"That was before Doral tried starving you."
"Good to see you draw the line somewhere. And how do I know you won't just
destroy them?"
Six replied defensively, "I have been helping you--at risk to my own
life--without asking for anything in return. Not all of us want to see humanity
destroyed. Besides, we're alot alike, you and
I."
"Oh, this should be good. Just exactly how are we alike?"
Six studied him for a moment. "We're both strong. Resiliant. We do what we
think is right, everything else be damned. For instance, you helped Roslin,
going against your father. I'm helping you. We've both been abandoned by our
parents."
"Parents? You're all machines!" Lee said
bitterly.
"Humanity is our parents."
Lee laid back. Six sat silently for a few minutes, letting him think.
"Well?" she asked.
"You're really trying to help me?"
"Thats' all I've been
doing."
Lee sighed. "Okay. You have helped me so far. No reason to think things
would change now, right?" Six smiled sweetly and shook her head.
"I'll give you the last jump coordinatesI know
and a possible route."
Six squeezed his arm. "Before you know it, all of this will be over."
************************************************************
Six walked out of the cell, grinning, with a piece of paper clutched in her
hands.
"Well?" Doral asked.
"I've got them," she said smugly.
"I'll be damned," he said. "It worked."
"Of course it did. I told you they were weak. Now we let Apollo have a
front row seat to the destruction of humanity."
Lee laid on his cot, waiting for
Six to return. This was it. It was the end. And he would be alone. Once she
realized that he sent her on a wild goose chase back to New Caprica,
she would kill him. He actually looked forward to it. His life would finally be
over. No more running. He would no longer have to live as a disappointment. Would no longer have to live with the guilt of his mistakes.
He would see his mom again. Zak. The memories of them and the thought of seeing
them again made him smile.
The door to his cell opened. He didn't even look up. Lee felt the cold hands of
the centurions grab his upper arms and haul him off the bed. He opened his eyes
and stared at the angry face of Six. He laughed in
spite of the situation. "Find them?"
Six slapped him, hard. "You gave me false coordinates."
Lee winced with the pain. "You just now figured that out?"
She smacked him on the other side. "I helped you," she sneered.
"Oh, give me a break. You and Doral were playing good cop-bad cop the
whole frakking time! I would never, ever, trust a
toaster, no matter how much they helped me. You wiped out my race!"
Six grabbed him by the chin. "You deserved to die. Parents must die."
"Go to hell," Lee spat out.
Six laughed. "Oh, my dear Apollo, I cannot die. But you can. Look at
you--pathetic, abandoned. Not much of a god now, are
you?"
"Just get it over with."
Six eyed him. "You will die. But it won't be easy. Bring him," she
ordered the centurions.
Lee felt the icy fingers of fear climb up his spine as the cylons
dragged him out. He knew this would be painful.
************************************************************
"Jump completed,"
"Identify," Adama ordered.
"It's cylon."
"Launch vipers."
"Yes sir."
Tigh rushed into CIC. "Sitrep?"
"Cylon ship," Adama answered.
"Frak me," Tigh said. "We jumped right
next to one." He watched Dradis. "Are they
sending out raiders?"
"Negative,"
"What do we do?" Tigh wondered.
************************************************************
Doral rushed into the room. Lee was hanging limply between the two centurions.
Six was making sure his death was as painful as possible. "What is
it?" she asked, clearly irritated at the interupption.
"Galactica just jumped in. They've launched vipers"
"Frak--we need to go. We can't defend ourselves
right now."
"We're spooling up the FTL's. What about
him?" Doral said, motioning to Lee.
"Leave him for now," Six said disgustedly. "I'll finish him off
once we jump. You," she said, pointing to one of the centurions,
"stay here." She then ordered the other one to leave with her, as
they headed to the bridge.
Lee laid on the floor, pretending to be unconscious.
He knew it was now or never. He was behind the centurion, so he had the element
of surprise. If worse came to worse, the machine would probably just kill him.
He slowly inched his way closer to the centurion. When he neared it, he grabbed
at its legs and, using all the strength he could muster, pulled it to the
floor. The machine landed face down. With adrenaline pushing him, he quickly
scrambled over the centurion and made it to his feet. He had seen Six go right
when she left--he went left. He ran as fast as his knee would allow. He heard
the cylon getting up and managed to turn down another
hallway before it saw him. He knew it was a matter of time before Six and Doral were aware of his escape. He looked around.
**This looks familiar** he thought. Then he realized where he was. He was on a cylon transport ship. They were used during the first war
with the cylons. He had seen one on a base on Picon when he was visiting his dad as a child. He knew then
that Six had headed to the bridge, which meant he was
going in the direction of the hangar bay. He started moving again, praying he
would find a ship there.
After a few minutes, he found the bay. He looked around and saw the heavy
raider they had brought him in. "Well, if Kara can fly it, I can," he
said. He went inside the ship and looked at the control panel. After a few
misses, he was able to start the ship. He left it running and went back out
into the bay. The raider had two camps holding it in place that he would have
to remove manually. He was able to remove the first one fairly quickly, but the
second one proved challenging. It was taking way too long. The clamp finally
came loose, at the same time that Lee heard the voice.
"Stop right there," Six said.
Lee slowly came out from under the raider and moved as close to the open door
of the raider as he could.
"You're not going anywhere," Six continued.
"Then you're going to have to kill me right here, because I'm not going
with you." With a burst of energy, Lee turned and threw himself through
the raider's door, making sure to hit the button to close it on his way in. At
the same time, Six began shooting. Lee vaguely felt a
burning sensation in his back, but he didn't have time to think about it.
"Good thing I kept you running," he said as he sat in the pilot's
chair. He immediately began lifting off, while the cylons
fired on him. He felt the machine shake and prayed it would hold up. He made it
through the launch doors and headed towards the vipers.
************************************************************
"Sir, a ship has launched,"
"Just one?" Tigh questioned. "Is it a
raider?"
"Negative. It appears to be a.. heavy raider."
"Frak.
That's how the cylons boarded us last time--one of
those things crashed into us."
"
"Sir. The other ship.
It's jumped away,"
"It left the raider?" Tigh asked with confusion.
"Getting reinforcements," Adama replied. "Begin jump
preps."
************************************************************
Lee saw the transport ship jump away. He would have felt relieved if not for
the vipers headed his way. He hoped Starbuck was in one of the vipers. She
would be the only one to recognize his sign. If she wasn't, then at least he
would die by friendly fire. That felt oddly comforting. He began to wiggle the
ship from side to side.
Kara kept her eyes on the raider. "Okay guys. Do not let that ship get
near Galactica." As she got closer, she noticed the ship was behaving
erratically.
"What the frak?" she said to herself.
"Galactica, Starbuck. This thing's acting weird. It's flying like it's..drunk." She watched it
a little more. She started getting a familiar feeling. "Now way," she
said. "Galactica, Starbuck. I'm going in for a closer look. Hot Dog, Kat,
watch my back. If it does anything, shoot it down."
Kara flew in closer. Lee watched the viper approaching him, praying it was
Kara.
She got right along side of it and looked in the window. Lee had never felt
such a sense of relief in his life. He felt the tears come to his eyes as Kara's
eyes locked with his. Now he could die in peace.
Kara felt like she was dreaming. She pinched herself, just to make sure. She
felt her heart leap into her throat.
"Vipers, stand down. I repeat, do not fire.
Kara waited a few seconds, never taking her eyes off of Lee.
"Sitrep," she heard Adama say.
"Sir, you're not going to believe this. I'm seeing it with my own eyes,
and I don't." She took a deep breath. "It's Lee, Admiral. Lee is
flying the raider."
Adama could have sworn his heart stopped. All the air rushed from his body. He
stood, frozen. Tigh noticed the change. "What is it?" he asked, concern in his voice.
Adama stared at him, unable to think.
"Admiral," Tigh said louder, shaking Adama out of his stupor.
Adama keyed the mike. "Get him on board, Kara. I'll meet you there."
Adama turned to leave CIC when Tigh stopped him. "What's going on? Get who
on board?"
Adama looked at his oldest friend. "She says it's Lee." He shook his
head. "I gotta go." He hurried out of CIC,
leaving a stunned Tigh behind.
************************************************************
Adama paced the hangar deck. By now word had spread that Lee had been piloting
the raider. He watched as the ship landed. The marines were there, weapons
drawn, as a precaution. The door to the raider opened.
Adama headed to the ramp as he saw Lee in the doorway. He was bruised, much
thinner, but he was real. Lee looked into his father's eyes as he began to walk
down the ramp. Two feet from Bill, Lee felt his legs buckle. The pain in his
back he had felt when escaping the cylon ship was
unbearable, spreading through every part of his body.
Adama saw Lee stop and pale. He reached for his son, grabbing a hold of him as
Lee collapsed. He was able to slow Lee's fall, going down with im. He had his hand on Lee's back when he felt something
wet. He pulled his hand away and felt an immense fear at the sight of the
blood, just as Lee's eyes rolled in the back of his head.
"Medic!" he yelled. "MEDIC!"
Kara ran over to them just after landing. "What is it?" she asked
worriedly, taking in the sight of both Adamas.
"Get the frakking medics!" Adama yelled,
tears streaming down his face. He held Lee close, rocking back and forth.
"Hang on son. Please. You're home. Don't leave me. Just hang on."
************************************************************
Chapter Five
Time moved in slow motion for Adama. He vaguely remembered
the medics removing Lee from his arms, yelling out things like heart rate and
pulse. He saw one of the medics place an oxygen mask on Lee as they wheeled him
away.
**This can't be happening** he thought. **He's alive. He can't die now.**
He numbly followed the medics to life station, and he watched as Cottle wheeled
Lee into the operating room. He heard nothing. Saw only his son. A hand on his
shoulder brought him back.
"Sir?" the voice said.
Adama just stared, not able to form words. He suddenly felt sick.
"Sit down." He felt hands guide him to a chair, a hand on his back.
He looked down at his own hands and saw the blood. **Lee's blood.**
"Gods," he said softly. He looked at the person next to him.
"Kara?"
"Yeah. It's me," she sighed.
"I think he's been shot."
She looked at him sadly. "You need to clean up. Come on."
"No," he stated. "I'm not leaving."
"Sir..."
"Gods Kara. It's been two months. Nine weeks,
three days, to be exact, since...since that day. He's been alive the entire
time. The entire time. With the cylons,"
he said the last part bitterly. "I left him."
"No," Kara interjected, "we all thought he was dead."
"But he wasn't," Adama said solemnly.
Just then, Tigh and Roslin rushed in. "Bill," Tigh said. Both of
their faces paled at the sight of the blood on Adama's hands. Roslin was
transported back in time to a similar sight, only that time it was Lee with his
father's blood on his hands. She sat down on the other side of him. "He's
strong," she offered. Adama nodded.
"Bill, you need to wash up," Tigh commented.
Adama ignored him, staring at the doors to the operating room. Kara looked at
Tigh. "I tried. He won't leave."
Tigh kneeled in front of his friend. "Come one Bill."
Adama shook his head. "I can't...I can't leave him. I already did it
once."
Tigh looked at him confused. "Bill, come on. You don't want to frighten Lee
when he wakes up."
Adama waited a few more minutes before slowly rising. He looked at Kara.
"I'll be right back." She noddded as Tigh
followed Adama out.
"What happened, Captain?' Roslin asked.
Kara took in deep breath. "When we jumped, the cylon
ship was already there. Then we saw the heavy raider, and the cylon ship jumped away."
"How did you know it was Commander Apollo?"
Kara smiled. "He wiggled."
"Excuse me?"
"In flight school, it was a little thing we did. After a tricky maneuver,
we would wiggle. It was our way of smiling at each other, saying good
job." Kara looked away, remembering all the good times with Lee, praying
there would be more.
Roslin could see the sadness in Kara's eyes. She grabbed Kara's hand and
squeezed lightly. "You have to have faith, Captain. He made it this far.
There's no reason to believe he won't make it all the way." Kara just
nodded, her emotions threatening to get the best of her. Adama and Tigh
returned, and they all sat in silence.
Four hours later, Cottle emerged. He held Adama's gaze, silently sending up a
prayer for strength. He motioned for the group to stay seated, then pulled up a
chair.
"The bullet entered through his back on the right. It tore some muscle, then pierced his small intestine. We had a hell of a time
with the bleeding. He's in critical condition. Two things concern me--if
there's more bleeding and the risk of infection. He's
also dehydrated, malnourished. His left knee is swollen. It looks like it's
been dislocated. He was beaten, some of the bruises are old, some more recent.
We're monitoring him closely."
Adama knew it would be bad, but this was too much. He found it hard to catch
his breath. His son had been through so much. He just got Lee back. He couldn't
lose him again. "I want to see him." It wasn't a request--it was an
order.
Cottle nodded. "He's through there." Without a word to anyone, Adama
left.
Kara stood up to follow him. "Captain
"To see Lee," she said defiantly.
"Oh no you're not. Commander Adama is in critical
condition. My people and I need to be able to get to him in a moment's notice,
and we won't be able to if there's a room full of people. I will be happy to
keep you informed, but for right now the only person who is allowed in there is
the only one who needs to be in there."
Kara started to argue, but Tigh cut her off with a stern look. "Thank you,
doc," he said. Cottle nodded and turned to leave, but not before Roslin
stopped him.
"Is there anything we can do?" she asked.
Cottle thought for a moment. "Pray."
************************************************************
Adama entered the area that contained his son. He stopped just outside the
curtained area a took a few breaths. He needed to
prepare himself. He walked past the curtain straight to Lee's bed, never
letting his eyes see his son. He stopped at the side of the bed, watching the
heart monitor. Beep. Beep. He swallowed, then cast his
eyes down. A well of emotions sprang up. Joy. Fear. Elation. Horror. He had been so
happy--beyond happy--when Kara had radioed it was Lee flying the heavy raider.
That joy turned to fear upon seeing Lee's blood on his hands. He took a good
look at his son. Where there weren't bruises, Lee's skin was pale. He wondered
what Lee had been trough, then decided he probably
didn't really want to know. A nurse interupted
his thoughts. "Sir. Here you go," she
said, bringing him a chair. Adama nodded his thanks and sat.
"Is there anything else I can get you?" Adama shook his head.
"Okay," she smiled. "Just let me know."
Adama took Lee's hand in his own, relishing the contact with his son.
"Lee. I'm here, son. You're safe. I don't know how you did it, but you
made it home. Now you just have to hang on. Get stronger. Okay? Please just
hang on."
************************************************************
Lee was floating. There was no pain. He felt like he was wrapped in a nice,
warm cocoon. But there was something. He heard a voice, a voice trying to pull
him back. **I don't want to go back** So he stayed,
floating, peaceful, awareness ebbing away from him once more.
************************************************************
Adama was four hours into his vigil when alarms went off around Lee's bed. He
immediately jumped up, heart pounding, as Cottle and his team rushed in. He
backed up, not wanting to get in their way. He heard numbers being yelled out,
Cottle giving orders, but he didn't pay attention to them. He kept his eyes
solely on his son. The next thing he knew, Lee was being wheeled out in front
of him. He went to follow, but was stopped by Cottle's
hand on his chest.
"We've got to get him back into surgery. He's bleeding internally."
Before Adama could ask anything, Cottle was gone. Bill stood, feeling the icy
cold hands of fear grip his heart.
What seemd like a lifetime later, Lee was wheeled
back to his room. Adama stood up, having never left. He watched as the nurse
resettled Lee. Cottle came in shortly thereafter.
"We managed to stop the bleeding."
"What caused it?"
Cottle sighed. "The small intestine has alot of
tiny vessels. It was hard to tell if we got than all the first time."
"Did you get them all this time?"
"I think so. We'll keep monitoring him." Cottle made a few notes on
the chart before leaving. Adama sat back down by Lee's bed and rubbed his hands
over his face. He sat there, staring at his son.
The next morning, as Adama was dozing in the chair, he felt pressure on his
hand. He jolted awake, looking at Lee's face. "Lee, can you hear me?"
He watched as Lee creased his eyebrows and turned his head just a little.
"Come on son. Open your eyes."
Adama wanted nothing more than to see his son's vibrant blue eyes. He watched
as awareness returned. Lee licked his lips, then
slowly opened his eyes. He blinked a few times, not really seeing anything. At
last he found his father's face.
"Dad? Where?" he rasped.
"On Galactica." Adama noticed Lee's eyes
weren't vibrant--they were dull and drugged--but to him they were the most
beautiful things he'd ever seen. "Here," Adama said, placing a spoon
of ice chips to Lee's mouth.
Lee took them relishing the coolness and the wetness. "I'm not dead,"
he whispered.
Adama noticed it was a statement. "No son," he smiled.
Lee sighed. "I'm so tired," he said, eyes closing.
"It's okay. Just rest, son." Lee drifted
off.
As Adama sat there, elated Lee had woken up, something
tickled at the back of his mind. Lee had seemed almost disappointed that he was
alive. Adama pushed the thought from his head. He decided it was the drugs
doing the talking, that Lee would be better in a few days.
************************************************************
Adama returned to his quarters after checking with Cottle that Lee was definately stable. He had wanted to stay, but he had a ship
to run. Cottle told him that Lee would most likely sleep for the next few days,
that if he woke up it wouldn't be for long, and Lee
probably wouldn't remember it. Kara was with Lee now, which made it easier to
leave.
Adama poured himself a glass of ambrosia and drank it in one gulp, then threw
the glass across the room. It hit the wall and shattered into a million pieces.
He sat back down, holding his head in his hands. He had done it. He had broken
his word to his son. He rememberd when Lee asked.
**If it was me?** Lee had seemed so uncertain, like he
was afraid of the answer. Adama couldn't believe that Lee had to even ask that
question. How could his son not know the answer? Then he realized the reason.
He had never given his son a reason to believe that he was important to his
father. Adama's career, his ship, always came first. He was closer to his crew
than he was to his own son. Even in the last year, when almost everybody was on
the planet, he had hardly seen Lee. When did his priorities become so screwed
up? And why?
"Gods Caroline. I wish you were here," Adama
said, staring up but seeing nothing. Lee had always gravitated to his mother.
Caroline was always able to read Lee--to know what he was thinking. When he was
happy, sad, hurting. She was always able to comfort Lee, to make him feel safe.
Lee needed that now. For two months, his son was a prisoner, all alone. At the
mercy of the very beings who destroyed their homes. He suddenly remembered his
dream. Now he wondered if it was just a dream, or if it was a vision. He
laughed at that. Roslin had visions, not him. He didn't believe in that type of
thing. Or he didn't use to. He wasn't so sure anymore. He did know one
thing--he was guilty. Guilty of leaving his son behind.
The one promise his son had needed. He once again imagined what Lee had gone
through. The physical wounds were obvious. Lee had made it through two
surgeries, but he wasn't out of the woods yet. So much could still go wrong.
Then there were the emotional wounds. The ones that couldn't
be seen. This was where Adama wished for Caroline. She would know what
to do, how to help their son. Adama wasn't good with emotions. How could he
deal with Lee's emotions when he felt his own spiraling out of control? He had
left his son with the cylons. For two months. He
should have known. The anger started low in his stomach, slowly rising up until
it came out as a roar. Adama stood up. He shoved everything off his desk, tore
books off his shelves. Broke glassware. He was in a
rage, sweating and breathing hard. He stood, among the shambles of his room. If
Lee made it through his physical wounds, would he be able to make it through
the emotional ones?
"Feel better?" a voice called from the doorway.
Adama looked up, just as Roslin cautiously stepped over the mess. She looked at
him, eyebrows raised. "Well?"
Adama shook his head. "I left him. I promised him once I'd never leave
him. Lee and I, we've never had a good relationship. I wasn't the father he
needed. Or deserved. And that one promise, the one he
needed to hear. Needed to know. And I broke it."
"Bill, you didn't know he was alive. If you had known..."
Adama acted as if he hadn't heard her. "Do you think he remembered that
promise while he was there? He probably did. Lee remembers everything. How long
do you think he held onto it before he gave up hope? Do you know what he said
to me? He said, 'I'm not dead.' He didn't question it. He stated it. He sounded
disappointed."
"Bill," Roslin said, "He's out of it right now. He doesn't know
what he's saying. Give him a few days."
"Then what, Laura? How do I help him? He'll know I didn't come
for..."
"He'll understand," she said, cutting him off. "You thought he
was dead. We all thought he was dead."
Adama shook his head and sat down. Roslin sat down next to him, gently
squeezing his arm. "I'm not saying this is going to be easy," she
said.
"That's an understatement if I ever heard one," Adama replied,
chuckling a little.
Roslin smiled. "But, you and Lee, you're the strongest men I know. It may
take time, but you'll get through it. Both of you will."
Adama placed his hand on top of hers. "I hope you're right. Because I can't lose him again."
************************************************************
Chapter Six
Two days later, Adama's worry hadn't eased. Lee slept most
of the time, and when he was awake, he just stared at the ceiling. He only
talked when he had to and wouldn't say anything about his ordeal. He completely
shut down.
Adama had tried talking to Lee, and all it seemed to do was push
his son further into himself. Lee's body was there, healing, but his soul was
lost. Adama remembered back to the Blackbird incident. Lee had seemed so lost
after that, but he came back. Adama hoped that Lee would once again be able to
find his way.
He walked into life station after his shift in CIC. He smiled as he passed the
nurses. He thanked whoever was responsible for blessing his ship with the
medical staff. From Cottle down, Adama knew he had the best. As he came in to
see Lee, he noticed something was wrong. Lee was curled on his side, arms
around his stomach, a sheen of sweat evident on his
face. He rushed over. "Lee? What is it?"
Lee felt like his stomach was on fire. He couldn't do anytihng
to ease the pain. He found it hard to think, to form words. He gathered all he
could. "Hurts," he rasped out.
Adama yelled for Cottle. He placed his hand on Lee's forehead. "You're
burning up," he said, more to himself than to Lee. He gently squeezed
Lee's shoulder. "Hang on son."
Cottle and a nurse rushed in just in time to hear Lee say, "I think I'm
going to be sick." The nurse quickly grabbed a nearby container, getting
to Lee just in time. Adama helped Lee sit up somewhat. Lee didn't throw up
much--he was still only allowed ice chips, but to him it was agony.
After Lee was done, he curled up more into himself. Cottle got in close to
Lee's face as the nurse began taking his vitals. "Temp is 103.6. Blood pressure 80 over 40."
"Commander," Cottle began, "I need you to lay on your back."
Lee didn't hear him, lost in a sea of pain. Cottle motioned to Adama, and both
men were able to get Lee onto his back. Cottle probed Lee's stomach, eliciting
a sharp cry of pain.
"What is it?" Adama asked, trying to keep the panic out of his voice.
"Stomach's rigid, fever. I think he has an
infection. We'll get some bloodwork done." As
Cottle gave his orders to the nurse, Adama gently rubbed Lee's forehead, trying
to offer what little comfort he could. Lee had curled back onto his side,
unaware of what was going on around him.
"I'm going to give him a dose of morpha to help
ease the pain," Cottle said.
Adama simply nodded, unable to take his eyes off his son. He barely registered
the nurse reenter to take Lee's blood. He watched as Lee's face slowly relaxed,
the morpha finally taking effect.
Thirty minutes later, Cottle had the test results back. He looked at Adama
grimly. "He has an infection."
"What are you doing for it?" Adama asked, staring at his sleeping
son.
"I've given him a stronger antibiotic. He'll be on IV fluids and pain
medication to keep him comfortable."
"So he'll be okay?"
There it was. The question Cottle didn't want to answer. "I don't
know." When Adama turned to him, Cottle continued. "This is a very
serious infection, Admiral. When the bullet hit the small intestine, some of
the bacteria got into his blood stream. All we can do is pump him full of the
antibiotics, keep him comfortable, try to keep the
fever down. It's really a wait and see situation."
Adama swallowed down the lump in his throat. "Thank you, doctor."
Cottle squeezed Adama's shoulder before leaving.
Adama grasped Lee's limp hand in his. Just a few days ago he was here, urging
Lee to stay strong, to come back. Now here he was again. How much more could
his son take? How much more could he take? "Please Lee, fight this,"
he whisphered. Then he realized how crazy that
sounded. Lee didn't have any control over the situation. In fact, no one did.
And for a man used to being in control, it terrified Adama. A bacteria--a microscopic
organism--something that couldn't be seen, was ravaging his son's body. Adama
couldn't shoot it down, couldn't capture it and put it in the brig, couldn't flush it out an airlock. So he started doing
something he never did. He prayed. He prayed to any and every god he'd ever
heard of. He recited prayers he had been forced to learn as a child. He prayed
Lee's body would have the strength to fight the infection. He prayed he
wouldn't lose his son.
The next thirty-six hours were the longest of Adama's life. Lee's fever rose.
He began mumbling and thrashing in his sleep. His ramblings for the most part
didn't make much sense, but every now and then Adama could make out words and
phrases. "No," "stop," "he promised he'd come."
It broke Adama's heart. He knew now that Lee held onto the hope his father
would come. He continued to hold Lee's hand, to talk to him softly. Cottle kept
cold packs on Lee to try to keep his temperature down. Adama would wipe a cold
cloth over Lee's face. At one point, Lee's blood pressure dropped so low that
Adama thought he was going to lose him, but his son managed to pull through.
As Adama sat with Lee late one night, he noticed something was different. Lee
wasn't mumbling, wasn't tossing his head from side to side. He was still--too
still. "Cottle!" he yelled, grabbing Lee's hand. "Help!"
He turned to his son. "Lee? Can you hear me?"
Cottle rushed in. "What is it?" he asked out of breath.
"Something's wrong," Adama answered, as fear and panic flooded his
system.
Cottle began examining Lee, then looked up at the
anxious father, smiling. "It's a good thing you're not a doctor."
"What's wrong with him?" Adama demanded.
"He's sleeping. The fever has broken."
Adama glanced back to Lee. "You mean..."
"We'll run some bloodwork to make sure, but I
think he's through the worst of it. He'll probably sleep for the next day or
so. You should, too."
Adama simply nodded, sitting back down.
"I can make it an order, Admiral."
Adama glared at Cottle. "I'm fine."
"You're exhausted."
"Once I know for sure the infection is gone, I'll go get some rest."
His tone left no room for discussion.
"Fine. Just don't come crying to me when you pass
out from not eating or sleeping. And I'll make sure to put in the IV
myself." Adama could still hear Cottle mumbling on his way out, something
about "stubborn fool" and "thinks he knows everything." He
laughed to himself, then looked at Lee. He squeezed
his son's hand, then touched his cheek, just to make
sure there was no fever. "You did good, Lee. Just rest."
***********************************************************
Lee woke up the next afternoon. He had come to a few times before, but never
managed to stay awake for more than a couple of minutes. He felt like he'd just
run a marathon pulling a viper behind him. And he was thirsty. He sensed
someone was with him.
"Wa'er," he croaked out.
He felt a straw at his lips and took a sip, feeling the water's coolness.
"Just take it slowly," Adama said.
Lee nodded when he was finished. He heard someone else enter the room. He
slowly dragged open his eyes. Everything was blurry at first. He decided to
focus on one shape. Eventually his vision cleared. "Dad?"
Adama's grin was bright enough to light up the darkest corners of space.
"How do you feel son?"
Lee thought about how to answer it using the least amount of energy.
"Bad."
"That's not surprising." Lee turned to see Cottle. "Do you
remember what happened?"
Lee looked at his father, then closed his eyes, trying
to pull up his most recent memory. He cleared his throat. "My stomach
hurt," he finally answered.
Cottle nodded. "You were shot. Then you developed a very serious
infection. You're very lucky. You almost died."
**Almost.** That word meant to Lee that he had come
close once again and failed. **Story of my life.**
Cottle kept talking. "You'll be fine. It'll be a while before you're
running laps around the ship, but it will happen."
Lee nodded, afraid to say anything. Cottle made a note in the chart. "If
you need anything, Commander, let me or one of my nurses know. Admiral,"
he said to Adama, then left.
Adama turned back to Lee. He went to grasp his son's hand, but Lee saw the
motion and moved it to wipe his eyes. Adama put on a smile, hiding the hurt
that one movement caused. He cleared his throat. "It's good to have you
back, son. We thought you were...we thought you had perished on Pegasus."
Another failure. "How many did I lose?"
Adama noticed the '
Lee said nothing, so Adama went on. "If it hadn't been for you, I don't
think any of us would be here. Looks like you saved humanity once again."
"When's the debrief?"
Adama was confused. "Debrief?"
"Yeah. I mean, I was a P-O-W."
Adama cringed inwardly at that. How he hated the cylons.
"Lee. You just woke up. You need to rest. Get better."
"There's nothing to say really," Lee went on. "All they wanted
to know was where the fleet was and the location of Earth. I didn't tell them
anything."
Adama knew there was more Lee had to say--much more. He just needed to figure
out how to get Lee to say it.
"I'm tired," Lee sighed.
"Of course you are," Adama replied, lightly patting Lee's shoulder.
"Get some rest." Within minutes, Lee was asleep. Adama sat, wondering
how exactly he would get Lee and himself through this nightmare.
***********************************************************
Lee's strength returned slowly. By the end of the week, he was able to tolerate
soft foods. He had even managed a short walk, his knee only bothering him a
little. He tired easily and slept alot, but he was definately on the road to physical recovery. With each
passing day, Adama became more and more worried. He saw there was no spark in
Lee's eyes--the light had gone out. Lee was going through the motions because
that's what was expected of him. He still didn't speak to anyone unless it was
absolutely necessary.
Kara came by shortly after Lee's walk, happy to see him awake.
"Finally," she said grinning. "The last three times I've been by
you've been snoring."
Lee said nothing.
"So," she said, looking around, "how do you feel?"
"Tired."
"You're dad says you're getting better."
"Then that must be the case, because he never lies," he snapped harshly.
Kara flinched at the tone of his voice. "What does that mean?"
"Nothing. Look, don't you have a husband to go nag or something?"
Kara looked down. "You haven't heard?"
"Haven't heard what?" he asked tiredly.
"Sam and I are divorced. He couldn't handle me flying again."
"Sorry," Lee mumbled.
Kara shrugged. "It's life. It hasn't been easy on any of us."
Lee just rolled his eyes.
"What's wrong Lee?"
"Nothing," he said, staring intently at the ceiling.
"Hey, this is me. I was captured by them, too. I was down on New Caprica for months fighting them."
"It's not the same. Both times you made the choice to go."
"Oh, so you're saying what happened to me was my fault?" she asked
angrily.
"No. But both times you had people with you. Had people
looking for you. And you could fight."
"For frak's sake, Lee, we thought you were dead!
We mourned you, had a funeral. The old man was shattered!"
"Well, I wasn't dead Kara! And I was alone--all alone--with no way to
escape. No way to fight back. No one was looking for me! I was at their mercy.
I was helpless. I was scared!"
Kara stood, mouth open, stunned by Lee's outburst. Before she could say
anything, he spoke up. "Please leave. I'm tired." He rolled onto his
side and closed his eyes, shutting her out. She stood for a few minutes
watching his back, then left.
***********************************************************
Knock, knock, knock.
"Enter," Adama called out. He just finished buttoning his jacket for
his shift in CIC. "Kara," he said smiling, then
looked at her face. "What's wrong?"
Kara bit her bottom lip. "It's Lee."
"Is he sick again?" he asked, halfway to his phone to call Cottle.
"No, no, nothing like that. Um, have you talked
to him at all?"
Adama shook his head sadly. "I've tried, but he doesn't say much."
"He feels like we abandoned him."
"He said that?"
"Not in so many words. He just kept saying how alone he was. That he knew
no one was looking for him."
They both went to sit down. Adama rubbed his hand over his face and sighed.
"Well, at least he's talking to you about it."
"He's not. I kind of pushed him to it. Then he clammed up and that was
it."
"Kara, I don't know how to help him. I feel him slipping away. I don't
know how to bring him back."
***********************************************************
After his shift in CIC, Adama got something to eat, then
headed to life station. It was dinner time, so he knew Lee would be awake. He
walked in to see Lee picking at his food.
"You need to eat if you want to get out of here," he said to his son.
Lee dropped the fork on the tray. "Why? What's the point?"
"To get back to work. Get back to life."
"What's there to get back to? I'm a commander without a ship. What exactly
am I suppose to do?" Lee asked bitterly.
Adama took a deep breath. He needed to be patient. "You can do whatever
you want."
"Yeah. Right."
Adama sat down in the chair next to Lee's bed. "Why won't you talk to me
son?"
"There's nothing to say."
"Tell me what happened."
"You wouldn't understand."
"Try me," Adama urged. "Please son. Make me understand."
Lee felt something break inside. "I don't want to be here, okay! I didn't
want to come to the decomissioning, but I was ordered
to. If you hadn't pulled strings, I could have been on my ship, with my
friends! I could have died there. But no, I was here!"
"Is that was this is about?" Adama asked, confused.
"The cylons were right. I'm nothing but a
disappointment. A failure. Do you know, dad, how many
times I should have died? After the Blackbird, I knew there was a hole in my
suit. And I let go. I chose to let go. Because I wanted it to
be over. Then on Pegasus. Then
here. Do you know how many times I've heard 'you almost died?' Do you know how that feels?"
Adama didn't know how to respond to his son. "Lee, I thank the gods you're
still here."
"There are no gods, dad. There's nothing but this miserable existence, and
I want it to be over!"
"Lee..."
"No dad, don't."
"Don't what, Lee? You just sat here and told me you wanted to die. What am
I suppose to do with that?"
"Nothing dad. Nothing.
Don't worry. I'm not going to try to hurt myself."
"How do I know that?"
Lee laughed. "Because it wouldn't work."
Both men sat in silence. Adama spoke first. "Son..."
Lee held up his hand. "Just go dad. I don't feel like talking
anymore."
"I'm not leaving you."
Lee looked at Adama, eyes burning. "You already did."
Adama felt like he'd just been punched. He watched as Lee rolled away from him
and shut down. Adama couldn't breath. "I'll be back later," he
managed to get out.
He made it back to his quarters and sat on his couch in the dark. It hit him.
Lee had wanted to die. His son felt like he had nothing to live for. Lee had
lost hope. "Gods Caroline. What do I do
now?" he said, breaking down.
***********************************************************
Chapter Seven
Three weeks later, Lee was released from life station with
strict instructions to still take it easy. He could feel his strength slowly
returning. He hadn't said much else to anyone after letting his guard down with
Kara and his father. His father still looked at Lee like he was about to break.
Adama made sure to show up early to life station the day of Lee's release, for fear that his son would leave all alone. He'd
been unable to get Lee to open up any further after his outburst about wanting
to die. Adama was still having nightmares about that. He knew other people had
gone to see Lee--Roslin and Dee among them--but he shut them out, too. Cottle
told the worried father that he and everyone else needed to give Lee the time
and space to sort everything out. The only problem was that when it came to his
son and his well-being, Adama was not a patient man.
Father and son walked silently through the corridors, nodding at the occassional crew member who passed by. Lee stared at the
walls of the ship, lost in his memories. Memeories of walking the corridors of Pegasus, proud of his ship, proud of
his crew. Pegasus had actually started feeling like home. Now he had
lost his home again.
Adama stopped outside a doorway and at Lee's questioning look said, "I
thought you might be more comfortable in your own room."
Lee slowly walked in. He was in what use to be the guest quarters of the ship.
It wasn't much--a bed, locker, and a desk.
"There's a bathroom through there," Adama said, pointing. "I
know it's not as nice as Pegasus..." Lee turned his head as he felt a stab
of pain through his heart. Adama instantly regretted his statement. "Do
you need anything, son?"
Lee shook his head. "No thanks. This is fine."
"Here." Adama grabbed a package off the desk and handed it to Lee.
"I found this while I was cleaning up."
Lee opened the package. It was a framed picture of him and his mother. He must
have been about three. He lightly traced his mother's face with his finger.
"Thanks," he whispered.
Adama watched as Lee stared at the picture. He hoped it would bring his son
some comfort. He couldn't believe it when he had found it. He had been cleaning
up the mess he had made, and it had slowly fallen out of a book. The book had
been a birthday present from Caroline and Lee. He realized she must have put
the picture in there, and he had forgotten about it. It had been there all
these years. Adama looked at his watch. "I've got to get to CIC. I'll come
back for dinner."
"You don't have to," Lee said, still staring at the picture.
"Hey, we both have to eat."
Lee said nothing. Adama frowned slightly. "Get some rest, son." He
took one last look at Lee before leaving.
Lee stared at his mother's smiling face. "I miss you mom," he said
softly. He wanted nothing more than to feel his mother's arms around him, for
her to tell him everything would be okay. He put the frame on the desk, turning
it to face his bed so it would be the last thing he saw before going to sleep.
It gave him a sense of comfort, like she was watching over him. He laid back on the bed looking at the picture. He felt his
eyes getting heavy. He still tired easily, which frustrated him. Lee felt his body relax as sleep overtook him.
It was hot. He couldn't breath. He ran down the corridors to the flight
deck. His father was there, Kara by his side. They were boarding the suttle before the ship blew. "Hey!" Lee called
out. "Wait for me!" Flames separated him from the shuttle. Kara
slowly shook her head as she entered the shuttle. Adama looked at him sadly.
"This is your failure, son. You need to stay here. I have a child I can be
proud of." He smiled in Kara's direction. Lee stood, shocked, as the
flames grew higher. He felt a pair of hands on him, turning him around. He
looked straight into the evil eyes of Six, who was
laughing at him. "I told you he wouldn't come." She backed him up. He
felt the heat from the fire on his back. Six kept talking. "You're nothing
but a disappointment." The fire was getting closer. He was almost in it.
She pushed him hard. He felt himself falling into the flames...
"No!" Lee sprang up, breathing hard. He was shaking, tears streaming
down his face. He wrapped his arms around himself to try and get warm. He was
so cold. He stared intently at the picture of his mom, trying to imagine her
arms around him. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. After a few
minutes, the shaking had stopped. Lee rubbed his face with his hand, then slowly got up. He walked into the bathroom to splash
some cold water on his face, then decided a shower
sounded better.
Twenty minutes later he emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a towel. He dried
himself off, being careful around his stomach, as it was still a little tender.
He opened the locker and pulled out a pair of sweats. He rubbed the towel
through his hair to dry it some, then got dressed. As
he went to shut the locker door, he saw a uniform jacket. He pulled it out to
look at it. It had commander insignias on it. He touched them lightly, feeling
anger well up inside of him. Anger at his father for assuming he would just go
back to how things were before. In that moment, he made a decision. He took the
pins off the lapel and headed out the door.
***********************************************************
Adama returned to his quarters after his shift. He figured he had enough time
to shower and change before getting Lee for dinner, so he was surprised to find
his son there, sitting in the dark. "Lee, you okay?" he asked,
turning on the light.
Lee stood up and looked his father in the eyes. "Here," he said,
holding out his hand.
Adama looked. "Those are your insignias."
"I know. I'm returning them."
"Lee," Adama said, shaking his head, "what are you talking
about?"
"I don't need these anymore. You're the commander of this ship. Tigh is
your XO. Everyone has pretty much gone back to their positions before New Caprica. I should, too."
"Lee. You were a commander before New Caprica."
"I had a ship to command before New Caprica. I
don't now. I don't have anything."
Adama approached his son. "You have alot."
Lee looked at him sadly. "My ship is gone, sir. There's no room here for a
commander."
"We'll find something..."
"Why? Because I'm the Admiral's son? Just take
them. I don't want them. I never did."
"No. I won't take them. You earned them."
"Fine." Lee went and placed the pins on
Adama's desk. He then walked out with out saying another word.
Adama stood, stunned. He walked slowly to the desk and picked up the pins. He
looked back to the open door. Lee had truly hit rock bottom. Adama sank into
the chair and held his face in his hands.
That's how Tigh found him. He knocked lightly. "Bill, you okay?"
Adama looked at Tigh blankly.
Tigh shut the door and walked towards the desk. "What's wrong? Did
something happen?"
Adama sighed. "Lee gave me these," he said, showing Tigh the pins. "Said he didn't want them." Tigh simply nodded
waiting for his friend to continue. "I've lost him, Saul. I mean, he's
here, he's alive, but his soul, it's gone."
"Bill, he's been through alot. You've got to
give him..."
"Time? That's all Cottle says. Give him time. How
much time, Saul? The longer I wait, the further he slips away. Do you know what
he told me? He told me he's failed at everything, even death. What do I say to
that? I don't know how to help him. This is my fault."
Tigh jumped up. "Oh no you don't Bill. You did
not do this. The Cylons did."
"I left him."
"Yeah, yeah, you've said it before. You thought he was dead, Bill! I know
for a fact that if you had known, we'd never stop looking. He knows it,
too."
"I'm not so sure about that," Adama said softly.
"Okay fine," Tigh replied, throwing his hands up. "Sit here, wallow in your guilt, wondering how you could have
changed things. Wishing you had been a better father. You've done the best you
can. Lee is not the easiest person to deal with. He's got a chip on his
shoulder the size of
Adama glared at Tigh. "Don't," he said in a deadly tone.
"Don't what, Bill? Speak the truth? You want to hit me, go ahead. If it
makes you feel better, do it. But here's how I see it. Lee is not dealing with
this at all. He's shutting down. Now, I know about the physical injuries he
received. I can only imagine the mind games they played with him. And he
doesn't know how to deal with it. And you're too busy feeling guilty to help.
Get over the guilt, Bill. You've been given a blessing. A
gift. Your son has come back to you. You both need to find a way to
reach out to each other to get through this." Adama said nothing. Tigh
stared at him for a moment, then shook his head and left.
***********************************************************
Kara had just gotten off of CAP. It had been rough. A wire in her viper had
shorted, causing her landing gear to not come down properly. She managed to
land the ship without damaging it too much, but she sprained her wrist in the
process. Cottle had told her no flying for three days, so now she was bored.
She knew she could always do paperwork--Adama had appointed her CAG--but that
bored her further. She decided to see if there was a Triad game going on. She
knew it was late and chances were slim, but she headed that way anyway.
She looked in the room, only to find it empty with the lights off. She turned
to leave when a chair scraping on the floor stopped her. "Hey? Is anyone
here?" She turned on the lights and looked around. She sighed at the sight
in front of her. Lee, slouched in a chair, two empty
bottles of ambrosia in front of him, with a third one-hald
finished. She watched as he attempted to pour some in a glass, but missed and
it spilled on the table.
"Frak it," he slurred, then
drank straight from the bottle.
"I think that's called alcohol abuse," Kara said walking towards him.
**I bet he's seeing three of me** she thought. She would have laughed if he
didn't look so sad. She went and sat down across from him as he took another
drink.
"Don't you think you've had enough?" she asked.
"I've just begun," he answered.
He finished the bottle, then stood to get another one
from behind the bar. The world tilted then spun, and he would have fallen flat
on his face if Kara hadn't stood up to catch him. She helped him get back into
the chair.
"Stay here," she ordered.
Lee simply nodded, then put his head on the table.
Kara went to the phone. "Hey, I need you," she said, then hung up and
went back to Lee. She gently rubbed his back. Five minutes later, Helo came into the room.
"Hey. Whats..." Then he saw Lee and nodded
knowingly.
"He's plastered," she said.
Helo walked over to them. "How
much?"
"Three bottles."
Helo grimaced. "He's gonna
feel that in the morning."
Karal laughed softly. "I don't think he'll feel
anything for a couple of days. Help me get him to his room."
They each swung an arm over their shoulder and pulled Lee up. Lee was pretty
much dead weight. Kara grimaced when she felt a twinge in her wrist. "Come
on Lee," she urged. "Help us out here."
They hald dragged, half carried Lee back to his
quarters. They managed to get him into bed, and Helo
took off his shoes. Kara took the blanket at the foot of the bed and covered
him. She brushed a piece of hair away from his forehead, then
gave him a soft kiss.
Helo was waiting for her in the corridor. He looked
at her sadly. "He's not doing too well, is he?"
Kara shook her head. "No. I'm scared, Helo. What
if he can't come back from this?" He pulled her into a hug, not sure what
to say. "I don't know how to help him," she whispered.
"He has to want the help, Kara. Until then, all you can do is offer support."
She pulled away. "When did you become so wise?"
He smiled at her. "I've always been wise."
She returned the smile. "Frak, my wrist
hurts," she said.
"You gonna be okay? I heard you had kind of a
rough landing."
"Kind of?" she said, one eyebrow raised.
"I'll be fine." She looked back at Lee's door. "Thanks for your
help, Karl."
"Anytime."
***********************************************************
The next morning, Adama headed to see Lee. He was hoping to try and talk to his
son. As he rounded the corner, he saw Kara exiting the room. She turned when
she heard footsteps. She immediately stood at attention. "Sir."
Adama eyed her suspiciously. "At ease." He
noticed her discomfort. "Is something wrong?"
"Uh, no sir."
He went to open the door.
"Um, he's sleeping."
Adama turned back to her. She turned away guiltily. "What's going on Kara?
Is Lee okay?" When she didn't answer, he turned back to the door. "Fine. I'll just see for myself."
"No!" She took in a deep breath. "I just got him back to
sleep."
"Back to sleep?"
Kara sighed. "Okay. I found him last night. He drank three bottles of
ambrosia. By himself. Helo
helped me get him back here. I came by a little while ago to check on him.
Let's just say, it wasn't pretty." Kara shook her head at the memory. Lee
had barely made it to the bathroom before he got sick. She cleaned him up and
got him back to bed.
"Thanks for taking care of him," Adama said, then
he quietly entered the room.
Lee was laying on his side. Adama glanced at the
picture on the desk, then to his son. Lee looked so young in his sleep. He maoned then shifted in the bed, but didn't wake up. Adama
watched as his son slept. He had never felt so lost in his life.
***********************************************************
Chapter Eight
Adama sat in his quarters, staring at the commander
insignias. It had been a week since Lee's drinking binge, and he had hardly
seen his son. Lee kept to himself, avoiding pretty much everybody. Adama knew
that Cottle had cleared Lee to start working out again, so late at night he
would go to the gym to watch Lee exercise. The times he did see his son, the
conversations were forced. The fire was still gone from Lee's eyes, and Adama
was truly lost at how to reignite it.
As he sat thinking, he heard a knock at his door. "Come in."
Roslin entered. "Bill? Did you forget about our meeting?"
**Frak** Adama thought. They were suppose
to meet to go over supply lists. "I'm sorry," he said.
Roslin smiled. "It's okay. You've had alot to
deal with lately," she said, sitting down. "What are you staring at
so intently?"
Adama cleared his throat. "Lee returned his commander insignias. Said he
didn't want them. That he didn't deserve them."
She gasped. "Of course he deserved them. I hope you told him that."
"I did. It didn't seem to matter. That same night, he went and got drunk. Three bottles of ambrosia. He's probably still feeling
it."
"Have you talked to him?"
"I've tried. Talking has never been our strong suit."
"You can always start," she stated.
Adama chuckled. "You sound like Saul. We had a simialr
conversation."
Roslin rolled her eyes. "Perish the thought. Look, I've never known your
son to make a rash decision, even when it seems that way. He always has a
reason for doing what he does, whether you agree with it or not."
"Are you only talking about these pins?" he asked, eyebrows raised.
"Maybe," she answered, smiling. "What is he going to do
now?"
"I don't know. We haven't gotten that far. He seems to be in a state of
avoidance right now."
"Well, that's understandable. When you do get that far, you need to
listen. Really listen. Don't judge him or his decisions, no matter what yout think. Respect him."
"You sound like a teacher."
Laura laughed.
"So, about those reports?" Adama asked.
"Back to business, huh? They can wait," she said.
"Well then, have you had lunch yet?"
"Are you asking?"
Adama nodded.
"I'd be honored," she answered.
***********************************************************
Lee was getting good at avoidance. He even went so far as to memorize his
father's and Kara's schedules so he didn't run into them. When all else failed,
he locked his door and didn't answer when someone knocked. He walked corridors
he knew weren't heavily traveled and at times when he knew no one would be
around. He was hiding--hiding form the people who cared about him. Hiding from life. He was getting stronger physically, his
late nights in the gym had started building his muscles back up, but he was
still uncertain about what to do with his life. Since he had awoken in life
station, he wondered why he was still alive. By all means, he should have been
dead at least three times over. He didn't even know what had possessed him to
try to escape form the cylons. The
hope that they'd kill him on the spot? The fear of what they would do to
him? Maybe he had just wanted to die with his family--his father, Kara. He
thought about his father. How had the cylons known
about all the times his father wasn't there? They had brought up old hurts,
insecurities that Lee thought he had long since gotten over. **Apparently not.** The cylons had messed with his
mind. Used all those old hurts against him. It was so
easy for him to think his father abandoned him. Then he remembered being in
life station. Most of his memories from the first week or two were fuzzy, but
one was constant. Everytime he had come to, his
father had been there, talking to him, holding his hand, offering comfort. He
couldn't ever remember his father giving comfort. But he knew his father was
trying to now. And trying to be patient and understanding.
Lee knew he wasn't making it easy either. He suddenly felt guilty about that.
It must have been hell for his father, thinking he had lost his other son.
Kara was trying, too, in her own way. Even though he didn't remember it, he
knew she was the one who got him back to his bunk the night he got drunk. His stomach flipped-flopped at that memory. He vaguely
recalled her helping him when it had all come back up, too.
He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even realize his name was being
called until he felt a hand on his arm. Startled, he looked up. "Cally. Hi."
"Hi yourself," she replied, grinning.
Lee noticed the bundle in her arms. "Who's this?"
"This," she said, her smile growing wider, "is Matthew Lee
Tyrol."
"Lee?" he choked out.
"Yes sir," she answered. "As we were coming back, we saw the
Pegasus...then heard you were...well, we owe you our lives. We wanted to honor
you in some way."
"Wow. I...I don't know what to say," Lee replied around the lump in
his throat.
"Wanna hold him?"
"Oh, I don't know. I've never been good with..." but before he could
finish, Cally had already put Matthew in his arms.
Lee just stared at the tiny face, who stared right back. "He's so
small," Lee commented. "Am I holding him right?"
Cally let out a little giggle. "You're a
natural. Besides, they're pretty resiliant."
Lee touched Matthew's head, his nose. The baby grabbed a hold of Lee's finger
and smiled.
"I think he likes you," Cally said.
"He's got a strong grip."
"Of course he's strong. He's named after one of the stongest
men I know."
Lee knew if he said anything the tears would fall, so he continued looking at
Matthew, talking softly to him. The baby cooed back happily.
**This is what it's all about** Lee thought. He felt something stirring inside
of him, something he thought he had lost.
"Uh, I'm really glad you're okay. It wasn't the same here without you.
You've done so much for us. For me," Cally said.
Lee just smiled. "Thanks Cally."
After a little while, Matthew started fussing. "Lunch time," Cally said.
Lee blushed a little. "Here you go. I'll let you
feed him," he said, handing the baby back. As he turned to leave, Cally called out. "Come see him anytime. I'd like for
him to know you."
Lee nodded and smiled. As he walked away, he thought about Matthew. He was
innocent, helpless. Lee knew what he wanted to do--knew
what he had to do. He headed to see Doctor Cottle.
***********************************************************
"Frakking cylons!"
"You guys have been here for fifteen hours straight. Go get some
rest."
"But sir..." one of them began.
"No. The last thing we need is someone half asleep working on one of
these. The CAG will have my ass."
"Sir," another said, "you've been here longer than us."
Lee watched from above as
He walked down the steps and walked past the vipers, letting his hand run along
the ship. He had forgotten what that felt like. It gave him a rush just being
near the plane. He went into the supply closet and found a set of coveralls and
a tool box, then set to work on Kara's viper.
The next morning,
"Hey. It won't get fixed by itself."
"It has."
"It's fixed. And the one next to it has been worked on, too."
"What are you talking about?"
"Check it out for yourself," Jammer replied.
"No sir. I checked," Jammer answered.
***********************************************************
"I don't know sir. But the plane is completely repaired. And another one
has had some repairs done on it, too,"
"Could it be sabatoge?" Tigh asked.
Adama looked at the report
"Yes sir," Tigh said. "And if whoever did this is for
real?"
***********************************************************
Adama sat down and reread the report. Something told him that whoever repaired
the ship was for real. He wondered why someone would do that in the middle of
the night, though. He picked up another report he noticed on his desk and read
it. "What the frak?" he said standing up.
"What is this?" he demanded, waving the report in front of Cottle's face.
Cottle lit up a cigarette. "Let me see." He read the paper.
"It's a report stating that Apollo has been returned to flight status,
effective next week."
"Since when?"
"Since this morning when he passed his physicals."
"Why wasn't I told about this?"
"You were. In the report."
"That's not what I mean," Adama said.
Cottle took a puff off his cigarette. "Hey, I did my job. I informed you
of a pilot's recertification. Now, if you're asking why you didn't know your
son was taking the tests, you need to go to the source."
"Thanks doc," Adama said flatly on his way out.
"Admiral, wait a second." Adama turned to stare at Cottle. "When
he came in here, there was something in the way he walked, the way he talked. Like he had a purpose. Think about that before you talk to
him. I know you don't want him in harm's way again, but it's what he
wants."
"You a shrink now, doc?"
"Nope. Just call it as I see it."
Adama half smiled at the doctor and left.
***********************************************************
Adama couldn't sleep. All he kept thinking about was Lee. Why would his son
want to fly again? Was he hoping a cylon raider would
blast him out of the sky? Maybe Lee needed a psych evaluation as well. Only
problem was, there were no psychiatrists that they knew of in the fleet. The
phone rang.
"Adama." He listened to the person on the
other end. "Don't do anything. I'll be right there."
As he walked into the hangar bay,
"Which means whoever it is came from the deck above," Adama finished.
"Yes sir."
Adama motioned to the marines. "Follow me."
Adama and
Adama watched as legs, followed by a torso, arms, and a head rolled out.
"Hi, dad," Lee said, smiling at a completely shocked Adama.
***********************************************************
Chapter Nine
Adama stood still, staring at Lee.
"You gonna order them to lower their
weapons?" Lee asked.
"Stand down marines," Adama ordered.
The two soldiers left.
Lee got up and wiped his hands off on a rag. "Guess so. I didn't realize
it was such a big deal."
"You work on a viper in the middle of the night without telling anyone.
Wouldn't that raise some red flags with you?" Adama snapped, then
instantly regretted it.
Lee just stared at his father, then turned back to
Lee shrugged. "I'm a pilot, remember? Besides, I grew up around these
things. My Grandpa Joe had a friend who was a mechanic. He taught me alot about fixing planes."
Adama looked at his son. He had totally forgotten about "Uncle" Bob.
Bob Rogers was his father's best friend. He had been a mechanic in the first cylon war. Adama never knew that Lee had known him--had
apparently spent time with the man. He was just now realizing how much of his
son's life he knew nothing about.
"Ever consider trading in your flight suit for a pair of coveralls?"
Lee laughed. "No. But I'll tell you what. Once I get back into the swing
of things with flying, if you need an extra pair of hands, let me know. I had
forgotten how relaxing it can be to work on one of these things."
"You're flying again?"
Lee nodded.
"Well, thank the gods,"
Lee smiled. "No problem."
A loud crash, followed by some cursing, came from the flight deck. "I
better go check that out. Sirs,"
Lee started cleaning things up. Adama watched his son closely. Cottle was
right. Lee was different. The spark was relit. Not as bright as it once was,
but it was there. He cleared his throat. "We need to talk, son."
"Not now," Lee said, closing the tool box.
Adama put his hand on Lee's arm to stop him. "Yes, now," he said
sternly.
"Look dad, I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm dirty. Let
me clean up, eat something, sleep a little. I'll come
by this afternoon. Okay?" Lee said, stepping around his father and
leaving, giving Adama no chance to respond.
"Okay," Adama said to no one.
***********************************************************
Adama had been on pins and needles all morning. He even spent some time in CIC
to take his mind off of Lee. He went back to his quarters to wait. Finally,
after what seemd like an eternity, he heard a knock
at the door. "Come in."
Lee walked in slowly, making sure to close the door behind him.
"I'm glad your here, son," Adama began. "I was almost afraid you
weren't going to come."
"I said I would," Lee responded.
"So you did." He stood, really looking at his son. Lee looked better
than he had in a long time. He was clean shaven, his muscular tone was back.
"Let's sit down," Adama said.
As they sat, Adama started. "Why didn't you tell me you wanted to fly
again?"
"I didn't know until a few days ago. I didn't want to say anything in case
Cottle wouldn't clear me. I was planning on telling you in person once I knew
for sure. Honest."
Adama smiled. "I believe you."
Lee took a deep breath. "I know I haven't been the easiest person to be
around. And I'm sorry."
"Lee, you've been through alot."
"I guess."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No."
"It might help to get it out, son." Adama watched as a myriad of
emotions flashed across Lee's face. Hurt. Anger. Pain. Fear. Finally, Lee started
talking, softly at first.
"They wanted to know where the fleet was. Where Earth
is. They didn't like it when I wouldn't answer, and they let me know
it," Lee said, absentmindedly rubbing his knee. "Anyway, the blonde
one, she would come in. Take care of me. I was so alone, dad. In this small room. I wanted to trust her. She told me she
could help me. Gods I wanted to believe her. I kept telling them you would
come, that you wouldn't leave me."
"But I did," Adama replied.
"You thought I was dead. I know that now. But at the time, they kept
telling me you wouldn't come. They knew stuff, dad. Things
about my life. About times you weren't there. It got really bad at the
end. I just gave up. The blonde toaster said she'd get me back to the fleet. I
gave her wrong coordinates. I knew they'd kill me for it. That's what I wanted.
I just wanted to be at peace."
"Lee," Adama said, tears forming in his eyes.
"Then you guys jumped in. I don't know how I managed, but I got away. I
knew I couldn't stay on that ship. I don't know what they would have done with
me, to me. I don't even want to think about it. So I got to the heavy raider. I
figured even if one of the vipers shot me down, at least I would die by
friendly hands."
Lee went silent, trying to calm his emotions. Adama said nothing, waiting
patiently for Lee to continue.
"When I started getting better, I didn't understand. I just wanted for it
all to be over. I felt like such a failure. I lost the Pegasus, then got myself captured. I couldn't see any reason to keep
going. Then I met Matthew Lee," he said, smiling at the memory. "And
that innocent little baby gave me hope back. Gave me a
purpose. I realized he's what we're fighting for. Cally
said they named him Lee to honor me. I need to honor that by doing my best to
make sure that he has a future. That maybe he won't have to fight. The best
place for me to do that now is in the cockpit."
"You've really thought this out, huh?"
"Yes."
"Lee," Adama began, "what the cylons
did...is unforgivable. I hate them now more than I ever did. But you are not
now, nor have you ever been, a failure. Or a disappointment.
You took Pegasus into that basestar, knowing you were
going to die. You survived the cylons. What they did
to you." Adama shook his head at the memory of Lee's blood on his hands.
"You saved humanity. I'm sorry I left you. That I didn't come for
you."
"You thought I was dead."
"And those were the worst two months of my life. I lost me reason to live.
Then you came back, and I let my guilt get in the way." Adama sighed.
"But I've been given another chance with you. A gift.
And I'm going to do my best not to blow it. So if you want to fly, then I'm
behind you."
"Thanks dad," Lee said softly.
"I'm proud of you son. I always have been. I may not have liked or even
agreed with some of the things you've done, but I've always been proud of you.
I love you, son."
Lee sat, frozen in his spot. Adama went and sat next to him, then pulled him
into an embrace. Both men clung to each other, as all the emotions of the last
few months came out. "I love you too, dad," Lee whispered.
Adama pulled away and looked at Lee. "I know it won't be easy, and I know
you have alot to work through. But I am here for you
son, okay?"
Lee nodded.
"Good," he replied, squeezing Lee's shoulder. "So,
about your rank."
"I don't want the rank of cammander,"
Lee said firmly. "Look, dad. That night when you gave the insignia to
me--I can't begin to tell you how much that meant to me. But, my ship is gone.
Besides, commanders don't typically fly combat. So I respectfully request to be
demoted back to the rank of major. Keep the pins. When it's really time, I'll take them back."
Adama smiled proudly at his son. "Okay. Now, you do know you outrank
Kara?"
"Yeah."
"Since you outrank her and since you'll be flying combat, she will
expect you to take over as CAG."
"I know."
"So?" Adama asked.
Lee turned to look at his father. "So...what?"
"Lee. You were one of the best CAGs--if
not the best--I've ever had the priveledge of working
with. What do you say? Will you agree to be my CAG again?"
Lee smiled. "Yeah, I 'll
be your CAG again, but on two conditions."
"Name it."
"First, don't let Kara know that I've been returned to flight status. I
want her to find out from me, in my own way. Second, let me fly for one week
with her as CAG."
Adama smiled. "You have something in mind?"
Lee nodded.
"You know she'll throw you in the brig."
"Oh, it'll so be worth it."
Adama chuckled. "It's good to have you back, son."
Lee smiled. "It's good to be back."
***********************************************************
An unknown location...
"Our operative says Apollo is flying again," Doral reported.
Six leered at him. "We should have just killed him when we had the
chance."
"Or taken him to a farm."
"No," she snapped. "I told you that wouldn't work.
Besides, we've tried in the past."
Doral gave her a look of surprise. "We have?"
Six nodded. "The baby wasn't...viable."
Doral thought for a moment. "I am surprised that he's flying again. I
never thought he had that much endurance."
"Well, he is a god," Six said bitterly.
"He's a thorn in our side," Doral stated. "He will be our
downfall."
Six looked at him. "Then we have to make sure that doesn't happen.
Eventually, we'll run into him again. And next time, he won't be so
lucky."
The End
***********************************************************