Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program Battlestar Galactica are the creations of SciFi, RDM, DE and many others and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended by the authors. The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted by the author.

Presidential Orders ~ The BoardBitches

Lee wanted escape.  He'd seen Kara coming and he was entirely sick of her relentless teasing.  What did she care if he dated Anastasia?  He supposed it had to do with his past attacks on her track record.  Glancing either way, he opted for the only escape route.  He ducked quickly into the supply room.

There was a small light coming from the back of the large room.  Lee moved cautiously toward it and stared stunned at what he found.  The Chief was slumped against the wall, seemingly asleep.  There was a modified oilcan in his hand and Lee knew a still stood under the tarp against the wall.  He grinned wistfully.  He envied the chief at the moment.  He turned to leave, knowing he couldn't avoid Kara forever.  His foot struck a box and the small outcry of pain was enough to wake the chief.

"Sir?"  The chief struggled to rise to his feet.

Lee turned back to him with a genuine smile.  "I'm sorry, Chief.  I didn't mean to interrupt you."

Galen Tyrol, Chief Petty Officer of the Galactica, rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he stood.  He grinned sheepishly, knowing his secret was discovered.

"You're not interrupting anything, sir.  I was just..."

"Don't worry about it, Chief," Lee replied, waving his hand in dismissal. 

"What brings you to my neck of the woods, sir?" Tyrol asked.  He adjusted the tarp and picked up the oilcan he'd been holding before.

"Oh, nothing," Lee responded.  Tyrol raised an eyebrow.  When he heard the voice of Captain Thrace outside the door he couldn't help but smile.  He covered it quickly before the Major saw him.  Scuttlebutt had it the Major and Petty Officer Dualla were now an item.  Apparently, Captain Thrace was in the mood for some fun at the Major's expense.

"Hopefully, she won't think to look in here, sir."

Lee turned and peeked out of the door.  He smiled and nodded his head.  "You don't think less of me for hiding from a subordinate?"  Lee blushed from the admission.

Tyrol chuckled.  "You're not writing me up for being in the storeroom drinking?"

Lee walked to the Chief's side.  "You're off duty, correct?" 

The chief nodded.  "Of course, sir."

Lee smiled maliciously.  "Then I'm not writing you up as long as you share.  I'm not on duty either."

As Tyrol lifted up the tarp, Lee gave a low whistle of appreciation. "I knew you were good with engines..."

Tyrol handed Lee a cup.

"Don't compliment me yet until you've tasted it, sir."

Lee smelled the clear liquid before taking a sip.  It burned all the way down and he grimaced.  However, the warm feeling he received once the liquid hit his stomach was satisfying. "Not bad, chief.  Not bad at all."

Tyrol nodded in appreciation and poured himself another cup.  He and Lee sat down on some supply boxes in the corner of the small room. There was no doubting these two men were from utterly different backgrounds, but they sat comfortably in silence enjoying the drink and comfort it brought.

"How are you, chief?"  Lee finally asked.

"Sir?"

"You've been through a lot lately.  How are you handling everything?" Lee felt it was his duty to see to the status of his crew and the alcohol was loosening his tongue.

Chief laughed and indicated his makeshift cup.  "This helps."

Lee laughed as well.  "True."

They sat in silence again and Tyrol broke it now. "The one in the prison isn't the one I loved.  She's dead."

Lee looked over at the Chief.  He had no words of wisdom to say to this man who'd been through so much.  Finding out the woman you loved was a Cylon was bad enough, but finding out more copies of her exist and the one on the ship was now pregnant... Hell, what could you say?

"Sometimes..." Tyrol started.

"Sometimes, what?" Lee asked.  He turned to look at the Chief and liked the feeling of wooziness he was beginning to feel.

Tyrol leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling.

"Sometimes I wish I'd never met her.  Then I think about not having those few months of happiness.  I have to think it was worth it."

The statement struck Lee.  Despite all the Tyrol had been through, he still thought it was worth it, even considering how it had ended.  Lee had spent his time dwelling on how he'd left things, the mistakes he'd made.  "You wouldn't do anything different?"

"Well, I'd not have fallen in love with a Cylon...But as for falling in love with Sharon Valerii, no.  I wouldn't change a thing.  The woman I knew as Sharon was special."

They sat in silence for a few minutes.  Tyrol refilled each of their cups before anything more was said.

"What about you, sir?" Tyrol asked.

"What about me?"

Tyrol shrugged.  "Just heard things...about you and..."

"About me and Dee?"

Tyrol couldn't help but laugh.  The potent liquor was beginning to get to him.  "Lee and Dee...Dee and Lee...At least it rhymes."

Lee spit the slug he'd just taken out as the laughter spilled from his mouth as well.  "You and Starbuck." His voice trailed off and his attitude sobered, despite his physical drunkenness.  "Dee's a great woman.  She's..." Lee didn't know what else to say.

"Safe?"  Tyrol offered.

Lee nodded then quickly shook his head.  His hand went to his temple to slow the action in his head.  "No one's safe anymore.  There's no one to trust."

Chief wasn't sure what reference the Major was making.  "So we just give up?"

"That would be the easiest thing to do.  And I'm sure that's what the Cylons want us to do.  But you know and I know...we can't give up."

"Frak," the Chief replied.

"Hmmm... I think that's supposed to be the plan." Lee began to giggle.

Tyrol giggled as well.  "The President does want us to make babies."

"Frakking."  Lee nodded, trying to look sincere and serious.

"Lots and lots of frakking."  The Chief tried hard to match the major's expression.

"Can't deny the president's orders."  Lee drank deeply.

"No, sir." Tyrol did as well.

"Ok, so if I get to frak Dee."  Lee groaned.  "I guess that wasn't very gentlemanly." 

Tyrol laid a hand on the major's knee.  "I won't tell anyone."  He burst into laughter.  "I don't even think I'll remember." 

Both men giggled.  Lee forced himself to stop laughing.  "Who shall I order you to frak, chief?"

Tyrol became serious.  "Oh gods...I have no idea.  I haven't really thought about it since..."

"What about Cally?"

"Sir! Cally is a...a girl!

"I believe that's the point, Chief," Lee deadpanned.

"Yes sir.  I mean, No sir!  Not Cally.  Don't get me wrong, she's a nice girl...but she's so young."

Lee tried to assume a command stance.  "Chief, we need to find someone for you to frak." 

Tyrol tried for an equal stance.  "I can frak someone myself, sir."

Lee burst into laughter again.  "I wasn't planning on trying to help."

Tyrol shook his head as he realized his mistake.  "I mean I can find someone to frak by myself.  I mean find her and frak her, sir." He stumbled over his words.

Lee nodded.  "Very good then.  However, if you don't I'll have to order you to frak someone."

Tyrol was remotely curious.  "Who did you have in mind?"

Lee thought for a slurred moment and then a huge grin lit his face.  "Captain Thrace!  She likes a good lay.  You're a good lay, right?"

Tyrol spit his drink this time.  "Sir! Captain Thrace?"  Panic crept into his voice.  "I don't think so."

"You're not a good lay?"  Lee looked stunned.

"No, SIR!  I mean. Yes, Sir, but not the Captain.  No!"

"Then find someone yourself, Chief.  I have lots of work to do.  I can't spend my time getting you frakked."

Both men accepted the command as serious and went back to drinking in silence.

Meanwhile, Kara Thrace was getting frustrated.  She needed to ask Lee a question and it was clear he was avoiding her.  She promised herself she wouldn't tease him about Dee.  Not much.  Maybe just one comment? Only one.  Of course, she knew the one comment wouldn't begin to satisfy her need to watch his ears turn pink or to see the blush that spread over his cheeks. 

If she were honest with herself, she was a bit jealous.  She'd loved Zak more than anything.  When she lost him, she thought that was the end of that part of her life.  Then she and Lee were thrown together and she began to imagine the possibilities.  Life, however, had a way of bringing people together and pulling them apart.

Kara sighed.  She was looking around the flight deck, thinking for sure she'd seen him come this way earlier.  She spotted Admiral Adama and made a bee line for him.

"Sir," she saluted, her eyebrow raised slightly.  Adama saluted back, pretending not to notice the smirk on her face.

"Captain Thrace."

"Not used to seeing you down here, sir."

"I like to come visit every once in a while.  Talk to the crew and see how things are going," Adama replied.  He and Kara walked along, staying out of the way of the maintenance crews as they worked on various ships. 

"You haven't seen your son lately, have you?" Kara asked.

"No.  Haven't seen him since this morning.  Anything I can help you with?"  William Adama looked at Kara from the corner of his eye.  It was no secret that Lee and Petty Officer Dualla were now seeing one another.  He also had heard that Kara was being relentless in her teasing.  No doubt Lee was keeping a low profile.

"No sir.  I'll just keep looking for him.  It's not that important." 

With that, Kara walked off though Adama could see she was still scanning the flight deck for the missing Major.

Adama was about to return to CIC when a giggle drifted past his ear. It was a giggle he hadn’t heard in years. He had no idea he would ever hear it again. He could swear he heard the childhood giggle of his eldest son being tickled into his bed. He smiled and noted the small storage area. He assumed Kara had taken the time to look there.  Quietly, he opened the door and heard voices.

Kara thought of another question that the Admiral could answer for her. She turned back to follow him.

Adama didn’t need to step far into the room before the light from the door alerted the drunken men to a new presence.

Tyrol’s eyes focused first and then grew large with fear and panic. “Amdrilla!” He tried stumbling his way to his feet.

Lee was somewhat slower to respond. He laughed at Tyrol’s display and slowly turned to face the source. He burst into laughter. “Hey DAD!”

Adama froze his expression, unwilling to give into the laughter that swelled from deep inside. “At ease.” He waited as Lee and Tyrol managed to get to their feet and approach. The stench of alcohol assaulted Adama as they drew near. He waved his hand in front of his face. “Just what are you men doing?”

Tyrol began to stammer a reply, but Lee waved him off. A laugh exploded from him. “I got this, chief.” He turned to his father and made an attempt to appear command-like. “The chief and I were having an intense discussion of fleet directives.”

Adama had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing now. “And what directive might that have been, Major?” He heard Kara call to someone on the deck and new she was nearby. He loved his son but he knew this moment was too precious to deny her. He started to call out to her, but stopped at Lee’s continued words.

“…the most important one” Lee stated, nonplussed.

It was taking everything Adama had not to laugh. “Which fleet directive is so important?”

Lee shook his head sincerely, but his body wobbled at the motion. He couldn’t believe his father didn’t know. He groaned. “Sir… you know… I ordered the chief to get busy.” He pointed a wayward finger in the chief’s direction, but he was extremely off course.

He shook his head. Adama could hold back no more. He shouted out, “STARBUCK” knowing she would hear him.

Just as Kara arrived at the door, Lee burst into a fit of giggles. “Frakking! Everyone needs to be frakking!”

Kara smiled brightly at the scene before her. This was going to be good. She had enough material for a lifetime now. She wanted to kiss the Admiral for giving her the opportunity.

Adama knew Kara had missed the point, so he indulged in a clarification. “Who did you order the chief to frak?”

Lee laughed and doubled over before he could answer.

Tyrol valiantly offered the answer. “I’ve been ordered to frak Captain Thrace.”

Kara paled. “WHAT! LEE ADAMA YOU ARE SO DEAD!”

Lee tried running, but didn’t make it far before the full impact of Kara Thrace knocked him to the ground.

Adama allowed the laughter to escape. He grabbed the bewildered Chief and guided him out the door. Resting him against the bulkhead, he found Cally and ordered her to tuck the chief into bed.

When he returned to the supply room, Kara was leaving. As she straightened her uniform, she defiantly glared at her superior officer. “NOT one word of this! EVER! Do I make myself clear?”

Adama’s laughter was renewed and he sidestepped her to retrieve his own inebriated son. He’d half expected to do this for an errant teenage son, not his military trained, officer son. He loved every minute of it, well almost.

As Lee clung to his father for support, he began to ramble again. When they’d finally reached pilot’s quarters, they found unfortunately that the room wasn’t empty. A few pilots were relaxing with a game of cards. Several stifled laughter and smirks as the Admiral helped his son to his rack.

As Lee sat on the edge of his bed, he watched obsessively as his father worked to remove his boots. Suddenly Lee was struck with a thought and much too his father’s chagrin, he had no control over his voice. “Dad… You’re following fleet directive? Right? You’re frakking? Who are you frakking?”

There was no controlling the laughter from the pilots and Admiral William Adama blushed redder than the alert signal.