All copyright applies. See first section for notice.

Pyramids*18

Adama knew he was overstaying his allotted time. Doctor Cottle had told the anxious group five minutes. He didn’t know whether it had been a lie to thin out the worried crowd or if an exception was being made. As he examined his son’s pale face, he didn’t care. Sitting here, praying for his son’s survival, he wondered how he could have ever wanted his sons to join the military. If he was brutally honest, he’d had enough close calls to know better. How could he have possibly wished that on his sons?

He squeezed his son’s hand and whispered, as if Lee was privy to his internal thoughts. “No turning back now, son. You have a special lady worried sick about you. Don’t you think you could wake up and ease her mind a bit?” He chuckled. “Frak, your old man wouldn’t mind seeing those blue eyes either.” He winced at his choice of words, although the swelling had come down, he doubted Lee could actually open his eyes yet.

The physical demands of sitting for so long were beginning to take their toll. He released his son’s hand and stood. He rolled his neck and shoulders in a foolish attempt to regain his youth. He reluctantly left the sterile room. Shedding the gowns, caps and mask, he went to find Mali. He found Ben asleep in a chair by her bedside. He smiled at the obvious expression of loyalty that the president had earlier referred to. Ben’s loyalty had extended to Lee’s love as well.

He shook the pilot’s shoulder gently. “Ben, let’s go.” He waited for groggy eyes to focus on him. “Let’s get out of here for a few minutes. It’ll be good to stretch our legs. Maybe even get a bite to eat.”

“Sir, I’d really rather not leave them alone. Someone did try and kill them today.” He whispered. Mali was finally resting easily and he didn’t want to risk waking her.

Adama smiled. “I’ve got my best marine guards here. They aren’t going to let anyone hurt them.” He tried a trump card. “What do you think Mali and Lee would want us to do?”

Ben smiled reluctantly and nodded. He rolled his own shoulders and stood, following Adama out the door.

Shortly after the two men left, Mali stirred. As she twisted in the bed, she struggled to remember why she was waking up in life station. She bolted upright as the crash thundered back into her mind. Then her face contorted in fear and ache. Lee had been attacked and was badly injured. She recalled that he was in critical condition and she knew just where she needed to be.

She slid her legs over the side of the bed and seeing no other wraps, used the blanket to cover herself. She had no idea when she’d been changed into a sick gown. She stood still until she finally felt stable legs supporting her. Her entire body ached and complained at the movement. Stepping outside the curtain, she was immediately stopped by two imposing marines.

“Ma’am. I don’t think you should be going anywhere.” The serious soldier intoned.

She smiled, denying her pains. “I’m just going to check on Captain Adama. You can follow me if you like.”

He nodded understanding and both men fell in line behind her. She stopped at the window and sucked in her lower lip as she witnessed the reality of Lee’s condition. She stepped into the changing room and slipped into a gown. Tying the mask around her face, she pushed through the door into the sick room.

On the way to the bed, she grabbed the chart from the end and sat on the empty chair. It did seem strange to her that Adama would actually be following the doctor’s previous orders. The idea was to limit contact with the patient but both doctors knew a father would never be denied. She scanned the reports and updates. Lee had at least been stable these past few hours. That was a good sign. She checked his vitals and the fluid outputs for herself. She didn’t like the look of the bag collecting from the upper chest knife wound. The physician in her brain noted a probable need for further surgery.

Mali leaned in and laid her hand on Lee’s forehead. Her mother had always done so to check for fever. She knew it was useless. A clear fever couldn’t be detected by touch alone. Despite the reasoning, she was relieved to find his brow cool. She ran her fingers slowly through his hair and whispered her love for him. As she settled back into the chair, she allowed herself to look at the man she loved through the eyes of a lover, not a doctor. He looked like hell. The swollen eyes, injuries almost certainly inflicted early enough to obscure the image of his attackers, were ugly and distorted his whole face. She resisted the temptation to check the bandages. This was her staff. She knew they were caring for him well. She glanced over her shoulder and confirmed her resolve by meeting the confident gaze of Diana through the glass.

BSG…BSG…BSG

Neither man had much appetite. Adama tried to ply Ben with questions about his life the past few years, but it amounted to nothing more than idle small talk. It wasn’t long before they decided to return. En route, Ben opened up a bit more. “It’s good to see you and Lee getting along so well.”

Adama laughed. “Well, trust me, we still have our moments.”

Ben smiled. “Don’t we all. Still…” He let his thought fade off.

Adama finished it. “After the scene at Zak’s funeral, you never thought Lee would talk to me again.”

Ben nodded. “You should have seen him the day he got his orders to report to the decommissioning ceremony. He marched into the Admiral’s office and demanded his resignation be effective immediately.”

Adama stopped. “Resignation?”

Ben cursed himself. “Oh, Lords. I assumed you knew.”

“Knew what?” Adama scanned the corridor. What was it about the halls of the Pegasus that caused him to feel so left out of his son’s life? It was as if the entire fleet knew things the Galactica buffered. He saw Ben’s hesitation. “What, Ben? Lee resigned his commission?”

“Sir, it’s not my place to tell you this. I’m sorry. I assumed Lee had told you.” He continued to try and avoid telling Adama the whole story.

“I understand you didn’t want this to happen, but it has. Lee isn’t going to be able to tell me himself for a while, so I’d appreciate it if you would at least give me the overview.”

“Lee told the Admiral he was resigning shortly after his promotion. He didn’t want to let the Admiral continue to plan on his future in the military. She convinced him to stay in a while longer, at least until they were married.”

Adama shook his head. “That’s why she ordered him to attend the ceremony.”

“What, Sir?” Ben asked, curious.

He didn’t really want to share this piece of the puzzle, but he knew Ben had given him information. He owed him the same. “Admiral Nagala wrote me and told me she was ordering Lee to attend the ceremony. Of course I was thrilled, but then at the bottom of the note she had added a personal note, telling me she thought it would be a good time for Lee and I to talk.” He thought about the note again.

“She was hoping you’d be able to talk him out of it.” Ben surmised.

“Must have.” The men started walking again, this time in silence.

Ben stopped just outside the doors to life station. “Sir, please don’t think badly of Lee. He had his reasons. It wasn’t because of you or Zak. I do believe that.”

Adama smiled. “No. It was because of her.” They both knew he meant Mali. “She tried to warn me I think. The first night we spoke, she told me they were determined to do whatever was necessary to make their marriage work. I’m sure in Lee’s mind, that meant leaving the service.”

Ben wasn’t buying this calm acceptance. He’d known William Adama too long and seen too many interactions between father and son. “But you’re still angry or at least disappointed in him?”

Adama drew in a long breath, considering his response. “No. I don’t think so. Not any more.”

He entered the medical facility and his eyes immediately noticed the guards missing from Mali’s bed. He increased his pace and wove through the wards to his son’s room. Ben was still at his heels.

BSG…BSG…BSG

Mali noted the change in heartbeat before her eyes registered the change on the monitor. She watched the EKG carefully and rose from her chair, preparing for action. She spoke to Lee, all along. “My lord, this isn’t funny. Stop fooling around.” As the monitor siren screamed and defibrillation lines danced in green, she screamed at him. “YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE.”

She was already pulling his shoulder up to slide a shock stabilizing board beneath him. From behind her, people flooded the room. Diana pulled her back and Cottle, having appeared from nowhere, was ordering the cardiac paddles to be charged. Mali fought to stay in the room but met a wall of obstinate friend. Diana sternly reminded her of the need to leave.

Diana pushed her back through the swinging door and into the changing room. She didn’t stop the forced evacuation until Mali was standing outside the first pane of glass, watching a highly trained medical crew orchestrate the survival of her life. She told Lee once that she’d learned to live without him. Watching the horrific scene before her, tears streaming down her face, she knew she had lied. If Lee died, she knew she would as well.

The guards had moved closer to watch the dramatic events as well. Adama and Ben turned the corner and stumbled onto the silent witnesses. Adama pushed through and stared into the window. He saw Cottle pressing paddles into Lee’s chest. His son’s body jerked into the air several inches and then crashed down. It was obvious from the expression on the doctor’s face that it hadn’t worked. Mali stared at the scene as well, although how she saw anything with the blinding tears that fell from her eyes, no one knew. Adama heard her muttering Lee’s name over and over. He noted Ben moving in behind her, ready to lend support. He stretched out his arm and wrapped it around her shoulders. She leaned into the arm, accepting its proffered strength.

Again Cottle pressed the paddles to Lee’s chest and again and again. In between Lee’s name, Mali would call out the value of voltage being applied. It unnerved the men. Adama didn’t know whether he was jealous of her medical knowledge or sorry that she couldn’t separate herself from it.

After what seemed like forever, Cottle released the paddles. He replaced the earplugs for his stethoscope and checked Lee’s heart rate. The scared group breathed in relief. Lee was alive. Cottle wasted no time in coming to them. “That sucked.”

Adama never wanted to go through that again. “Is he out of danger now?”

Cottle actually laughed. “Were you listening when we talked earlier? That was a first. There will be more.”

Mali ignored the tension from father and doctor. She pushed herself out of Ben’s embrace. “You’ll need to go in on that lung again.” Based on the fluid before the crash and the trauma of the defibrillation, she knew the wound would be worse.

Cottle agreed. “I know. But I don’t know when. He’d never make it now.”

Adama finally understood. “But if you don’t operate, he won’t get better.”

“Life’s a bitch, ain’t it? We’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t.” Cottle chagrined.

Ben, who’d been silent, stated plainly. “Don’t you mean Lee’s damned?”

Cottle looked at Mali. Anyone could see the fear in her eyes. “No, I meant we.”

All three anxious visitors gowned, masked up and entered Lee’s room. Mali and Adama took chairs on either side of the bed, while Ben sat in a chair across the room. They all settled in for a long vigil, each praying it would not become a death vigil.

The three at Lee’s side were oblivious to goings on outside the room. Guards from Galactica changed. Many concerned people had stopped outside the glass, from the Admiral and Commander of the Pegasus, to Ying and Yang and several other pilots. Starbuck appeared after an hour or so and joined those in attendance in the room. She even brought her own chair.

Mali felt the slightest of movements in her hand. She held onto the fingers of his plastered left arm. She immediately sat up and her actions alerted the others in the room.
She called out softly to him. “Lee? My lord? Are you awake?”

Lee’s head tilted faintly toward the sound of her voice, which elicited a smile from all gathered. They all began to talk at once and Lee flinched. Adama silenced them and called to his son. “Son? We’re all here for you.”

Despite the tube in his throat, a small tip occurred in his upper lip. Mali leaned over and placed a light kiss on his cheek. His smile increased a bit more.

Mali smiled at the rest of his supporters. He was responsive. As predicted, he couldn’t open his eyes, but he was alert and aware of them. Adama grinned and squeezed his son’s good hand. He smiled even more when Lee attempted to return the gesture. Relief flooded the room until a warning beep began to sound. It was slow and quiet at first, but increased in frequency and intensity. Lee’s brow furrowed in pain or distress. Adama, Kara and Ben all stared at the EKG, but saw no change. Mali however, was already acting.

As the other three stepped back, Mali was pulling down the sheet and examining the tube in Lee’s chest. She grabbed for a spare stethoscope and quickly applied it to his chest. As Diana entered, followed by others, Mali called out the necessary steps.

“Get Cottle and prep a surgical theater. The lungs down again.” Mali kicked out with her foot. She’d released the brake on the bed. Two other nurses stepped in behind the bed and started to roll it out the door. Mali jumped onto the side bar and rode along, checking his breathing at all times. The rushing group met Cottle in the hallway. The stunned trio heard Mali call out medical information.

They watched as Cottle literally pulled her off the bed and set her aside. He continued on with the bed and Lee disappeared inside yet another set of swinging doors.

Adama found his voice first. “What happened?”

Mali sighed, her voice cracking. “His lung collapsed again.”

Kara felt so helpless, she fired back in anger. “I thought he was too weak for surgery now?”

Mali, tears now again falling down her cheeks, said quietly. “He is.”

They again waited in silence. No one spoke and no one looked anywhere but their feet. After ninety minutes, Cottle pushed through the doors.

The fearful group sprang to their feet. “How is he?”

“He’s in a coma, but we managed to save the lung.”

Pyramids*19

Mali calmly nodded. Adama didn’t understand why she seemed to be taking this information so well. Cottle seemed calm too. “So, this is a good thing?” He dared the question, afraid of the answer.

Mali nodded, but Cottle responded. “Yeah. First of all, he survived it. Secondly, a coma isn’t always a bad thing. If a coma is caused by head trauma, we worry. His own body initiated this coma. It needs to focus all it’s energy on healing the most critical injuries. It shuts down non-essential systems.”

“How long until his body kicks everything back in?” Ben asked.

Cottle had hoped they wouldn’t ask, but knew they would. “No way to tell.”

Kara got a bad feeling. “Are we talking hours or days?”

Mali answered. “Maybe even weeks.”

Adama knew he should be optimistic, but as he watched the doors swing open and his inert son was rolled through back to his room, his optimism faltered. They stood outside the room, watching the competent medical staff re-situate his son. Nothing was likely to change for some time. The thought weighed heavily on them all.

Cottle broke the tension, saying out loud what everyone else thought. “Let’s break this up. I know four people who need food and rest. Frak, they probably have jobs to report to as well.” He stared at the back of four heads. They were ignoring him. “Hello!” Finally, the group turned to face him. “I’m ordering you all out of here. Now!”

“What?” Kara argued. “You can’t make us leave. Lee needs us.”

“For what? Even if he did know you were here, it wouldn’t make a difference.” Cottle hated that emotional argument. “You want to stay here for you and that’s not doing anyone any good. You all have jobs to do. The fleet and the Captain need you doing them. Now get out.” He pointed toward the hall that led them away. Still, no one moved.

Mali looked at Lee through the window. “He’s right.” She moved passed him and led the rest out of the area.

Ben grabbed her arm when they were near the waiting area. “Mali, you aren’t seriously ok with this, right?” He didn’t like the look in her eyes. She was too calm. Something had changed.

She tried to offer him a charming smile. “The major says we need to get to work. He’s right.” She gestured around the room. “I work here. So, yes, I’m fine with it.”

Adama interrupted her. “But he also said we needed rest. You were a victim of an attack too. You need rest as well.”

She nodded. “You’re right. I’m going to my quarters, taking a shower and then getting some sleep.” She eyed the guards a short distance away from the group. “I don’t suppose you’ll cancel them?”

Adama shook his head. “No.” He assumed command stance and pointed his junior officers toward the door. “You heard the doctors.” After they left, he turned to Mali. “Can I walk you to your quarters?”

She shook her head. “I have a few things to check on here.” She avoided his eyes. “Commander, I’ll make arrangements with Major Cottle to have Lee transferred to Glacatica.”

“What?” Adama was stunned. “Is that wise? Can he be moved?”

She nodded. “I think tomorrow, if his condition is stable, it can be done. It should be done. You need to be on your ship and you won’t be able to concentrate if you’re worried about Lee here.”

“What about you?” He asked suspiciously. He sensed something was wrong.

“I’ll stay here.”

“You don’t want to be near him?” He was beginning to wonder what worried him more.

“This is my ship. I need to be here in my life station. Doctor Cottle needs his. Since I can’t treat Lee, it makes the most sense.”

Adama moved closer to her and reached out to take her hands. “Lee needs you, too.”

She faked a smile. “I know and I’ll be there. Don’t worry. It makes the most sense, really.”

Adama knew he wasn’t going to convince her otherwise. At least not now, so he pointed out one flaw in her logic. “What about Starbuck? She’ll never stay away from him.”

Mali thought a moment. “I think she was pretty shaken up in the accident.”

“Pardon?”

“I think she’ll need a few days off. One of us will write her the excuse.”

“You’re a quick thinker.” He complimented her.

She smiled genuinely. “I have to be to keep up with the Adamas.”

“Soon enough, you’ll be one of them.” He added. She didn’t respond as he expected.

“Will you go back to Galactica now or tomorrow with Lee?”

“I’d like to stay around tonight. I trust your opinion, but fathers don’t always react to logic when it concerns their sons.”

She smiled. “Then go and get some rest in guest quarters at least.”

He nodded, sadly. “I will.” He left her alone with her guards. Something had changed in her. He hoped it was only shock from the whole situation catching up to her. In the morning, when she was rested, it would look differently to her.

Mali compulsively checked over things in her life station. Despite her weariness, she saw a few patients. She didn’t bother to check on Lee. Instead, she went back to her quarters, cleaned up and went to sleep.

When she woke in the morning, she showered again. It wasn’t for cleanliness. She needed the beads of hot water to loosen up her stressed muscles. She willed the liquid to soothe her nerves as well but knew it wouldn’t work. She bypassed the mess and went directly to life station. She was about to begin her rounds when Ying and Yang showed up.

“Hey, Doc. We came to see Lee. Can you bend the rules for us?” Dennis smiled to add charm to his plea.

“Yeah, come on, Mali. Let us see him. He’s our friend too.” Tommy added.

She agreed and led them back. “You can’t go in, but you can certainly see him through the window.”

“So is it true he’s in a coma, Mali?” Tommy had seen Ben at breakfast.

“Yeah. But that’s good. He needs the rest.”

“I was thinking that when we find the guys who did this, we’ll leave just enough of them intact for Lee to finish them off when he’s better.” Dennis explained.

“Have you heard anything?” Mali asked. She really hadn’t given much thought to who had done this.

“No. Commander Fisk took personal charge of the investigation. I mean we can’t have someone attacking our CAG and favorite doctor.” Dennis almost crashed into Doctor Cottle.

Mali didn’t have time to correct them, Cottle interrupted. “No one attacked me.” He added. “What do you two want?”

Tommy straightened his back for battle. “Doctor Davis said we could see Captain Adama.”

Mali knew instantly she had missed something.

“Didn’t I kick you two out earlier?” Cottle insisted.

Both pilots looked guilty. “You shouldn’t keep us from our friend.”

“I might not have if you hadn’t dressed in scrubs and tried sneaking into his room.”

Mali glared at them. She should have sent them packing, but instead she gave them two minutes at the window and that was it. She then followed Cottle into Lee’s room. He was checking Lee’s vitals.

“You didn’t need to be nice. I already threatened them.”

“What did you use? It didn’t work.” She mused.

“I noticed. I told them if they tried it again, I’d have them assigned to bedpan duty for a week.”

She chuckled. “Wouldn’t work on them. They’d find some way to use the duty as a major practical joke on someone, more then likely, you.”

“Thanks for the warning.” They were silent as he checked vitals and updated Lee’s chart. “He did well last night.”

She nodded. Even with her face covered by the mask, he read something wrong in her eyes.

“Adama says you agreed to transfer him to Galactica?” He raised an eyebrow.

“He was here already?”

“Most of the night.”

She smiled again wondering about the relationship between these two. “Someone here tried to kill him. He’ll be safer over there.”

“That might have been a fluke. They might get to him there too.”

She frowned. “Aren’t you an optimist? Don’t you want to be on your own ship?”

He looked at her a long time before answering. “It’s not about what ship I’m on. I’m trying to figure out why you’re giving him up so easily. So is the commander.”

She said nothing. “It’s not easy to give him up. Trust me.” There was an intense sadness in her voice.

“We could just shut down this station to emergencies. You can work from Galactica.”

“That makes no sense.” She knew she wasn’t masking her feelings well. “It’ll be fine. I’ll be able to see him.”

“Fine. We’ll transfer him this morning.”

She said nothing. She only nodded. Cottle left her alone with Lee. She pulled down her mask and kissed his cheek. Tears rolled down her cheeks, leaving wet marks in the soft papery cloth. “I’m sorry. I really am. I can’t do this. I can’t lose you again.”

She stayed in his room until her eyes had cleared and went to her office. She’d been working some time and had started scanning charts when there was a knock at her door. She looked up to see Laura Roslin. “Madame President, please come in.”

“I’m sorry to disturb you, although I’m surprised to find you here. Captain Apollo must be doing better.” She smiled with relief.

“He had a rough time, but he’s stable.” Mali informed her.

“When I checked last night, he was in a coma. Has he wakened?”

“No. He is still in a coma, but right now it is for the best.” Mali wanted the President to leave. “Are you here to see him?”

“Partially. Commander Fisk has a development in the case, so I came to meet with him.”

Mali was surprised. “That’s good news, but certainly you don’t need to occupy your time checking into attacks. Has there been a decrease in presidential duties lately?”

Roslin laughed, but inside sensed the darker jab from the doctor. “Captain Apollo is very important to this fleet. I owe him a lot. I will see his attackers brought to justice.”

“Justice?” Mali looked sharply. “Even if it isn’t Tom Zarek?”

“Excuse me?” Roslin wasn’t accustomed to direct statements. Everyone in politics hedged their comments.

“Isn’t that what you’re praying for? You need Tom Zarek to have ordered the attack on Lee.”

Roslin wasn’t going to play politics. “You’re forgetting your own attack.”

“I don’t understand why everyone thinks I was attacked. It could have very well been just total dumb coincidence.”

“What about the faked call?” Roslin pushed. It was hard to fight that fact.

Mali stood and walked to her office door. She indicated toward the outer office and led the President to a curtained area. “Mosta? How are you this morning? I’ve brought you a visitor. She’s very important and she wants to see how you’re feeling today.”

The two women stepped inside to find a child on a bed. “Hello, Mosta! I’m Laura Roslin.” Laura chatted easily with the child. Mali was impressed with how quickly the president had lost her official demeanor and became a teacher once again.

Mosta yawned and the two women excused themselves so she could rest. Roslin spoke before Mali could. “This was the emergency?”

“Yes, but the communications officer mixed up two messages.”

“When did you find out?” Roslin asked, not entirely convinced.

“Very early this morning. Notice my guards are gone.”

Roslin thought a moment. “The Captain is still guarded, correct?”

Mali nodded. “Yes, and we’re transferring him to the Galactica today.”

“Really? Is that safe?”

Mali nodded. “It will be easier for Major Cottle and the Commander.”

“What about you?” Roslin asked. She assumed she knew the answer. Mali would go to Galactica too.

“I’ll see him when I can.” She needed to change the subject. “If you’d like to see Lee, you should do so now. He’ll be transferred soon. I have rounds to make.”

“Thank you.” Roslin was dumbstruck by the young doctor’s attitude.

BSG…BSG…BSG

Hallways were cleared on both the Pegasus and Galactica to facilitate Lee’s safe and secure transfer. It went smoothly and Lee’s condition remained stable. Both Kara and Adama would fly in the shuttle with Lee. Hearing that two crewmen had been detained for Lee’s attack had given Adama pause. He thought about staying on Pegasus. As his son moved through the hallways on the gurney, he couldn’t bring himself to part. Ben assured him he would keep on top of the situation.

Kara watched Lee’s face for a long time. “Why didn’t the good doctor join us?”

Adama shook his head. “She’s got duty on the Pegasus.”

“She’s not in the military. They can’t force her to stay there.” Kara was very curious at this turn of events.

“She feels Lee’s in stable enough condition.” He didn’t want to admit his own concerns to Starbuck.

BSG…BSG…BSG

Commander Fisk found President Roslin to be a typical woman in power and didn’t have a problem obeying her orders. He was used to it. When she demanded to see the two specialists who had been detained in Adama’s attack, it came as no surprise.

“How did you determine it was these men, Commander?” Roslin asked as they made their way through the halls to the brig.

“Tenter had bruising on his knuckles and couldn’t provide a good explanation for them. The other man, Rodor, carries a knife, meeting the description of the one used, in his boot. It’s in the lab for analysis.”

“They’ve admitted nothing?” Roslin paused before crossing the threshold into the brig. It didn’t bring comforting memories for her.

“Of course not.” Fisk pulled open the inner door and stopped for a second. He instantly pushed back and knocked the president to the floor in the process.

Roslin righted herself. “What’s wrong?”

Fisk took several deep breaths, “Gas!”

After a flurry of activity, Mali was called to report to Admiral Cain’s office. She stepped in and all conversation stopped. “You asked to see me, Admiral?”

Cain rose to her feet. “Yes, Can you confirm our suspicions?”

Mali nodded. “All three died of methalene gas poisoning.” She held up a file. “The lab does confirm that there was traces of Captain Adama’s blood on Rodor’s knife.”

All could tell Roslin was holding her temper as she spoke. “This isn’t good, Admiral. You now have three murders and a fourth attempt on your ship and you’re telling me we have nothing to go on?”

Cain didn’t like the situation any better. It annoyed her even more that the President was so involved in the investigation. In her mind it was just another ploy of Adama’s. “The gas was released through the air duct. The camera doesn’t show a perpetrator and there were no prints on the vent.”

“So we are no better off then before?” Mali asked boldly.

“I’m afraid not.” Fisk answered.

Cain continued. “Commander, have the communications logs checked again and from now on I want every call recorded.”

“Yes, Sir.” Commander Fisk excused himself.

Cain turned to the President next. “Madame President, I’ll have your shuttle prepared to take you back to Colonial One.”

There was a moment of tense showdown between the two leaders, but Roslin knew she had no need to remain on board. She thanked the Admiral and left as well. Mali was about to go, but the Admiral called her back. Mali didn’t know what else could make this day worse, so she prepared herself for anything.

“Why did you release Captain Adama to the Galactica?” Cain asked.

“I thought it was in his best interest.” She nervously added. “Major Cottle concurred.”

“It was your opinion it was in his best medical interest?”

“Yes. Also for the fleet. I’m sure Commander Adama will appreciate being closer to his son.”

Cain came around her desk and leaned on its front. “I’ll be honest. I don’t like the idea of my CAG on another ship. How long will this be?”

Mali hadn’t considered Cain’s opinion in any decision she had made and she really didn’t care now either. “It is impossible to tell. If you are looking for advice as to replacing the CAG, I would say it could easily be a month or two before he is fit for light duty.”

“A month or two?” Cain seemed stunned.

“Well, I am not his doctor, obviously, but he is in serious condition. His lung was badly damaged and we will need to be very cautious until it is fully healed. Perhaps you should contact Major Cottle?”

Cain displayed a phony smile. “I’m sure you’re correct. It’s really such a shame.” Mali nodded and Cain went on. “What are you’re intentions, Doctor?”

“Excuse me? My intentions?” She asked, confused.

“Yes. Do you intend to flee to the Galactica and leave my ship without a doctor? Shall I reassign Doctor Cottle here, so you can be on Galactica until the Captain returns?”

Mali breathed deeply to steady her nerves. “No, Sir. I intend to honor my position here. I can’t see to Captain Adama’s recovery. It wouldn’t be proper for me to treat him.”

“You could bring him back here.”

Mali squared her shoulders. “I agree with Major Cottle’s decision. I understand that I won’t be able to see Lee as often as I might like, but I’m needed here and he will understand that.”

Cain smiled again. “It seems all my efforts to provide the two of you with time together was in vain. What a shame.”

Mali didn’t like the Admiral’s tone. She suddenly grew suspicious. “Yes. Someone tried to kill Captain Adama and now that person is carefully covering their tracks. I can imagine that angers you. If you’ll excuse me, I have patients to see.”

Pyramids*20

Mali immersed herself in work. She even became a whirlwind force in the fleet. In a few short days, she went from ship bound to fleet traveler. She ignored her fears and plunged into saving lives on various ships. It had been two days and she still hadn’t been by to see Lee. Diana had questioned her and so had Ben. She cited other more pressing needs. “He has his dad and Kara. He’s still unconscious.” She argued.

Ben would stand no more. He grabbed her hand and pulled her from the room and into the hallway.

“What are you doing?” She demanded, while tripping over her own feet due to the pace he set.

“We’re going to Galactica.”

She planted her feet and Ben was thwarted the force. “I can’t go right now.”

“Why not?” He got right in her face.

“I… I have work to do and when that’s finished… I’m tired. I want a good night’s sleep.”

“Why are you avoiding him?” His question was genuine.

“I’m not. He… He doesn’t need me right now. I… I just can’t Ben. Please don’t do this.” The tremor in her voice shook his resolve.

“What’s he going to think when he wakes up and you’re not there?” He asked.

“That’s life, Ben. We don’t always get what we want.” She sounded so distant and scared.

“You can have what you want, Mali.” He didn’t like this. He knew she was slipping away. He prayed he could stop her before it was too late this time.

She shook her head. Tears welled in her eyes. “No, I can’t.” She pulled away from him and fled down the hall. She ran to her room and flung herself across her bed, allowing the emotions that were simmering below the surface for so long now to escape. Soon sleep claimed her.

BSG…BSG…BSG

Adama divided his days and nights between work and his son’s side. Doctor Cottle was confident Lee would wake soon. He’d eased up on the sterility requirements and one could now frequently find a visitor at Lee’s bedside. It was usually Kara or his father. Ben had also managed to stop each day, as well as the president.

Adama was reading a report when he sensed the need to look up. He watched as his son’s face twitched. A smile grew on Adama’s lips. He knew his son was waking. “Lee, can you hear me? It’s dad.” The twitch moved from Lee’s face to his hand. He opened and closed it, as if grasping for something. Adama grasped it, savoring its warmth and motion. Lee released it and raised it slowly. He groped at the ventilator tube in his mouth.

“Leave it be, son. It’s helping you.” He tried to take Lee’s mind off the annoyance. “Can you open your eyes for me?” Adama knew he should press the button and summon a nurse, but he selfishly wanted to enjoy this moment. “Come on, Son. You’ve slept long enough for now. Open your eyes.”

Lee could hear his father’s voice. The words were garbled though. He tried to shake the cobwebs from his brain but the movement hurt. Part of him wanted to open his eyes, but another part of him knew something was wrong. Something was missing and he couldn’t bring himself to find out what that was yet. His sixth sense told him the minute he opened his eyes his world would be changed. He looked back in his mind and sought out the darkness there.

When it was clear Lee had succumbed to sleep again, he hit the call button. Doctor Cottle arrived first. He looked at his commander for an explanation.

“He stirred. He, ah, squeezed my hand and batted at the tube.” Adama grinned as he shared the news.

“That’s good news.” Cottle checked Lee over and confirmed the biological changes. He called for a nurse and they extubated Lee. They replaced the tube with a nasal tube. With the swelling almost gone from his eyes, Lee was finally starting to look normal again.

BSG…BSG…BSG

He remembered the moment so clearly. He was stranded in space. The fleet was jumping from Ragnar and he watched, as the inbound Cylon ships grew closer. He was frozen. He saw the raider move in, but he made no move to escape. That had been the moment. He’d thought of Mali just then. Her face danced before his eyes and he knew she was dead. He remembered wondering if it was worth it to fight anymore. Starbuck’s last minute rescue had shaken him from his dismal thoughts. He hadn’t dared share them with anyone, not even Mali when she returned. No one in the fleet could know that their leaders lacked faith.

He dreamed that same face now. Mali was below him, writhing in pleasure. Her eyes danced with love for him. Her voice was low and sultry as it cried out his name as he pushed her over the edge. It was a rare instant that they didn’t climax either simultaneously or shortly after the other. That time had been special. It was their first anniversary. He’d taken leave with the intention of sweeping her away to a remote beach location. She’d sidetracked the plans by taking a sledgehammer to the kitchen of their newly acquired home. Seeing the giddy joy at which she pursued the project, hearing her laughter as one or both of them made a mistake, seeing the sheer happiness in her face or feeling the spark in his blood when she even lightly touched him, all were forever ingrained in his memories. He’d pulled her into his arms and made love to her there and then, in the middle of all the rubble. He moaned at the memory of the pleasure.

He moaned. Kara was immediately alerted. She called his name. “Lee?”

His head bobbed on the pillow. His lips trembled, searching for the correct structure for speech.

Starbuck smiled. She was thrilled that he would soon wake. She waited for him to speak and open his eyes.

“Mmmmaaallliii?” Again his hand fumbled for something not there.

BSG…BSG…BSG

She dreamed and it was so vivid, her body moved and she became wrapped up in her sheets. Why she’d felt the need to take out the kitchen wall that day, she’d never know. She knew Lee was coming home on leave. It was their anniversary. He hadn’t revealed their plans, only telling her they’d be going somewhere romantic. She should have been upstairs pampering and preparing herself for a weekend of lovemaking, but no, she became obsessed with the kitchen wall.

She’d never forget the look on his face when Lee saw the destruction she’d caused. She knew full well the perfectionist in him would never allow him to leave the kitchen in such disarray. So he’d picked up a hammer and set to work himself. It wasn’t work; it was play. As it turned out, it was foreplay. He’d taken her hard and fast on the floor and then started all over again slow and methodically. She remembered the feel of his muscular arms ensconcing her body. She’d never felt so loved, so treasured in all her life. She’d never wanted the moment to end.

But it had. He’d flown off to the Galactica and she to the Pegasus. He’d died, or so she thought. Her world had ended. She’d never felt so empty, even when her parents had died. She knew there was no reason to go on. She had nothing if she didn’t have Lee. She felt herself drowning; being pulled under the glorious blue water that Lee had loved to visit. In her room, the sheets pulled tighter and sobs alternating with gasps for air filled the room.

She woke suddenly and called out his name. “Lee!” She collapsed back on her sheets and cried. “I just can’t do it again. I won’t make it.”

BSG…BSG…BSG

Adama entered life station and scanned for his target. Seeing her at a desk in the corner, he walked quietly up. He was actually afraid she’d bolt at his presence. “Mali?”

She looked up. It wasn’t surprise in her face. It was fear. “Commander! What brings you here? Is Lee alright?”

“So you do care?” He asked bluntly. “We were beginning to wonder.”

She fumbled for an answer. “I’ve been so busy. I haven’t had a chance to make it over. Doctor Cottle has kept me informed though. It’s good that he’s awake and alert.” She had tried to avoid this for days. She had a hard enough time with Ben. She hadn’t expected the Commander himself to come after her.

“Lee’s been asking for you. You were the first one he wanted to see.” He struggled to control his anger.

“I was planning on flying over soon.”

He tried to laugh. “I heard you’ve been shuttling all over. It seems you’ve gotten over your nerves. Lee was impressed. He wanted to know what it finally took.”

She smiled nervously. “You can tell him it was just time I grew up. People needed me.”

“Lee needs you. Why don’t you come back with me and tell him yourself?”

Mali glanced at her watch. “I can’t right now. I have to check on a small outbreak over on the Geminon Traveler in a few minutes. I’ll be there soon, though.”

Adama assumed a commander mode. “I think Major Cottle can make that run. You can come with me now. We’ll contact him from the shuttle on our way back.”

“That’s very nice of you, but they’re expecting me.”

Adama was quiet and when he finally spoke his voice was low and almost threatening. “I certainly don’t understand what’s going on and I know Lee doesn’t either. I think perhaps you need to talk to him.”

She trembled. “I can’t.”

“He deserves better than this, Mali. He needs you now and you’ve deserted him. I told you I didn’t want to see my son hurt. You’re a doctor. This can’t be about seeing him in pain. You see people in pain all the time.”

It was Mali’s turn for silence. She chewed her lower lip and fought her heart for the right words. “I’m scared of losing him again.”

Adama barely heard her words. “He’s going to be fine.” He didn’t understand.

Mali knew at that moment that she wasn’t going to be able to escape the situation. She smiled, although strained. “You’re right of course, I’m being foolish.” She grabbed her jacket from the back of the chair and stood up. “Let’s go.”

Lee was sleeping when Adama escorted her to his bedside. Cottle was taking no risks and Lee still wore nasal tubes and an IV. The bruises on his face and arms had faded and the drainage tubes were gone from his chest. His arm had been fused and the cast was gone. She took her place at his side and touched his hand. Adama slipped away from the area, but didn’t leave.

Even her light touch was enough to stir him. His eyes slowly fluttered open and he turned his head toward the spark he’d felt, just like in his dream. A smile lit his lips when he saw her sitting there. “Mali!” His voice was quiet. It was clear his lungs still strained to support his voice.

“I’m here, my lord. I’m here.” She reached up and stroked his cheek.

“I was worried. They told me you were fine, but I was sure they were lying.” He whispered.

“Why would they lie to you, my lord?” She challenged him gently.

“The men who did this… They threatened you. I was so worried.”

She saw the anguish in his eyes. She hadn’t considered this. “I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

He smiled, relieved to simply touch her hand again. “It’s fine. You’re here now.”

She returned his smile. “I’m here now.” She held a finger to his lips. “You need to rest.”

“I have a doctor already. Why don’t you crawl in here with me?” He smiled impishly.

She chuckled. “Only you would try and lure me in bed right now. No.” She ran her fingers lightly over his eyelids. He automatically closed them. She’d learned that from him. He’d done it to her many times when her body wouldn’t let her rest after a long, grueling shift, especially if she’d lost a patient.

“Spoil sport…” His words were falling off. He drifted back to sleep, but not without clutching her hand to his chest.

She felt his beating heart and it lulled her as well. She laid her head down along his chest, comforted by his warmth. Soon, they both slept.

Mali had no idea how much time had elapsed when she woke. Glancing around the room she saw that it was now night mode. She softly extricated herself from Lee’s grip and stretched her back. She watched him slumber. He seemed so happy and content. She wished it could be so easy.

She’d learned today that a clean break wasn’t going to be possible. There were too many people who had made their relationship a priority. It would have to be a slow process. Like removing a bandage, it was always worse to go this slow. It caused more pain. Remaining on the Pegasus would help. She needed to keep Lee here as long as possible. When he was well, she’d have to figure out life on the Pegasus. She hated it all. She hated the Galactica. She hated reopening this old wound, only to know it was going to happen again. Why did everyone assume she could handle it? Why did everyone think she was strong enough to live like this? She knew she couldn’t.

She backed away slowly and then returned to Lee. She bent down and kissed him. “I’ll always love you.” She turned this time and left. She walked across the flight deck, ignoring the greetings of crewmembers she’d met. She was in her own world. That is, until Kara Thrace got in her path.

“Going so soon?” Kara demanded, as she jumped in Mali’s way.

“Leave me alone, Lieutenant.” Mali came across tougher then she felt.

“Lieutenant? Gee, I thought for sure we were on first name basis now, Mali.”

“I asked you to leave me alone.” Mali moved passed her, but Starbuck moved faster.

“I don’t get you. How could you ignore him for days, just when he needed you most? You don’t deserve him.”

Mali looked her in the eye. “That is truest thing you’ve ever said. I don’t deserve him.” She stopped then added. “But neither do you.”

The statement stunned Kara. When Mali stepped around her, she let her pass. She thought about what just happened. ‘Did Mali just give me a chance?’

Pyramids*21

Mali wasn’t sleeping much. There was too much on her mind. It all seemed too much to handle. She was busier then ever with patients. Tom Zarek was alive and running for president. Lee was slowly recovering and insisting on her time and then there was her own muddled mind and guilt to deal with. She was visiting Galactica that day. Ben flew her over himself.

She found Starbuck playing a game of cards with Lee. “Who’s winning?”

Lee turned to her voice and smiled. “Well, she was until you came.” He looked back at Kara. “You’d think she’d let a sick man win once in a while.”

Kara smirked. “Not hardly.”

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Cain is no longer buying Kara’s duty status.” She looked at Kara. “Vacation’s over. You’re supposed to report by tonight.” Kara made no move, so Mali added. “Axe is waiting in the bay to fly you back.”

Lee hadn’t considered how Kara had managed to be with him so often. “Kara, don’t make it worse. It’s been great to have you here, but you’re needed in the cockpit more.”

Kara smiled. “Are you sure you can’t pull some strings and get me reassigned?”

Lee chuckled. “Dad tried.”

Starbuck collected her cards and strode out of the room. Over her shoulder, she called to Lee. “I’ll catch you soon. Hurry and get back to Pegasus.” Under her breath, she added. “I’ll need all the help I can get.” As she brushed past Mali, she growled. “Convenient for you, isn’t it?”

Lee held out his arm and Mali moved forward to grab it. “I’ve missed you.”

When she reached his side, she bent over and kissed him. He reached up and held her to him. She kissed him a second time, chastely and pulled back. “You need to save your strength. You look pale today. Too many visitors?”

He sighed and settled back on his pillows. “Not the right one.” He studied her face. She squirmed at the scrutiny. “You’ve been working too hard and not sleeping enough.”

She tried humor to distract him. “On the contrary. With you here, I get to sleep at night.”

He raised an eyebrow and then offered a wounded puppy expression. “Why don’t I believe you? You’re still having nightmares aren’t you?”

She shook her head. Grabbing his chart from the end of the bed, she scanned it. “It’s you that we’re worried about. The chart tells me one thing. Anything you’d like to add?”

He frowned. Holding up his hand, he complained. “I think this can go. It itches. And my nose is raw.” The nasal cannula annoyed him. “Can’t I be done with them?”

Mali scanned the chart again. “You’re on too many meds to remove the IV, but we can move it. It’s time. As for the oxygen, it’s a precaution. The more air we move through your lungs, the better.”

He smiled, inspired. “I can think of a much more fun way to breath heavy.” He stroked her arm.

She swatted at him. “I said move air, not exhaust yourself.” She succumbed to his smile. “Besides, you couldn’t if you tried.”

“Let’s try.”

She could see the desire in his eyes. It stirred feelings inside that she’d been trying to destroy. “Not now, my lord.”

He was about to plead for more, but was interrupted by a knock on the door to his private room. He and Mali turned to find Major Collins. “May I come in?”

Lee nodded and rearranged himself on the bed. “What do I owe the honor of this visit?”

Collins couldn’t meet his eyes. “I… I wanted to see how you were doing. I see Lieutenant Thrace will be reporting back to Pegasus.”

Lee nodded. “I’m itching to get out of bed.”

Collins smiled. “I bet.” He hesitated. “I’m sorry.”

Lee looked confused. “For what?”

Collins glanced at Mali. She made as if to leave but he waved her back. “Tenter and Rodor, I’d had my share of problems with them too. I never…”

Lee understood. “I wrote them up for inattention to detail. They were angry.”

Collins nodded. “I know, but I should have addressed the problems with them sooner. I made a mistake Captain and you’ve suffered for it.”

“You couldn’t have known.”

“I’ve learned a lot about people in the short time I’ve been on Galactica, Captain. After the attack, I went easy on my men. I can see now, they got sloppy. Galactica has the hardest working crew I’ve ever seen. When the Cylons attacked, they moved in perfect sync. You did that.”

Lee blushed at the compliment. Mali couldn’t help but beam with pride. Lee took a deep breath. “I could have easily let up on the men too. We’ve all lost so much. Keep in mind I knew we had thousands of innocent people depending on us. You didn’t. I think I might well have eased up if I were in your shoes.”

Collins smiled. “Thanks. I don’t deserve it.”

Before Lee could reassure him otherwise, a coughing spell swept through him. Mali instinctively grabbed his hand until it passed. He collapsed back further into his pillows as it passed and closed his eyes. Mali looked at Major Collins. “I think the Captain has had enough visitors for the day.” Collins made a small bow and left.

A few minutes passed and Mali thought Lee had drifted off to sleep. She pulled her hand from his and started to go. “No. Stay, please?” She heard his words and paused. Turning back, she met his anxious blue eyes. “I hate this. I hate feeling so weak.”

She smiled. “It won’t last forever.”

“Please stay with me a while longer.”

She couldn’t resist him, not like this. She cursed the twisted, evil mockery the fates were playing with her attempts to take control of her life. She didn’t just take his hand. She slid onto the bed. He scrunched over to give her room. She rested her arm across his abdomen and they both fell asleep.

BSG…BSG…BSG

Mali was settling the first newborn on Pegasus back into its mother’s arms, when the medics thundered in. She rushed over to find a young woman covered in blood. She listened to the report the medic called out. Mali barked out her own instructions. The woman was semi-conscious and struggled as much as her weak body allowed. “No, just let me die. Let me die.” Over and over the woman called for relief.

Mali ordered a mild sedative and when the woman, named Ellsbet, calmed, she gently removed the bandages from her wrists. The cuts were deep but had missed the major arteries. She looked up from the wrists and saw Ellsbet watching her. Mali smoothed a stray hair from her cheek. “I know you don’t think you want this right now, but you’re going to be fine.”

Ellsbet whispered. “Let me die.”

Mali shook her head. “No. I can’t do that. I can help you live though.”

“I’ll just do it again. Don’t waste your time.” Ellsbet looked away.

Mali spoke in smooth tones. “Life isn’t a waste of time, Ellsbet. I’m going to help you live. First, I’m going to stitch up your wrists. Don’t worry. It won’t hurt; you’ll be asleep. Then, you and I are going to travel to Galactica. They have people there who can help you.”

“Why do you care?” Ellsbet again looked at the doctor.

“Because if the Cylons taught us only one thing, it is that human life is precious. I’ll fight for every one of them.”

Mali was rewarded with silence. She injected a sedative and stitched the wrists. She used painstakingly small stitches. She wanted to make the scaring as minute as possible. It took hours to complete both wrists and when she finally closed the last gap, her hands were cramped from the strain.

She rubbed them to little avail. It hurt. She debated taking something for it, but decided to wait. She ordered a shuttle and prepared Ellsbet for transfer. Ben somehow again arranged to fly the shuttle. He had some down time, so he accompanied Mali, the medics and Ellsbet to life station. After assuring that Ellsbet was settled and her future care was assured, Mali went to find Cottle. She was told he was in Lee’s room.

“Is this a boy’s only club or can girls join?” She jested from the doorway.

Lee looked around his doctor and smiled. “We make exceptions for beautiful doctors who save foolish women.”

Mali stepped in. “I’m not sure if I meet those requirements. Have I saved a foolish woman?”

Cottle replaced Lee’s chart. “Axe was telling us about the woman you brought over.”
He noticed her hands and how she continually flexed them. “Tiny stitches, huh?”

She nodded. “Lots of them, on both wrists.”

Cottle left the room but returned in seconds with a jar. Without asking permission, he grabbed one of Mali’s hands and rubbed it with the oily cream. He repeated the process with the other. “You could have done this yourself.” He grumbled when he’d finished.

“I didn’t ask for anything.” She defended.

“We can’t afford for these hands to be cramping up.” He looked back at Lee. “Not too long. You’ve been a bit too popular lately. More sleep, less chatting.”

Lee accepted his reprimand. When Cottle had left, he joked. “He’s just jealous because no one comes to see him anymore.”

“What do you mean, no one comes to see him anymore?” Mali asked.

Lee chuckled. “Every man in the fleet is trying for the pretty lady doctor it seems.”

Mali groaned. “Great! I wish her luck.”

Ben was watching them closely. He wondered if Mali’s bout with insecurity was over. She seemed relaxed and natural around Lee. “What’s with your hands?” He asked.

She waved them and flexed them each a few times. “I was using the tiniest of stitches to close her wrists. The last thing she needs are ugly scars to remember this event by. It’s hard on the hands.”

Lee shook his head. “It really pisses me off.”

Mali and Ben exchanged glances. “What does, Lee?”

“Suicides.” He answered.

Mali paled and Ben fidgeted. Mali finally spoke. “That’s a rather hard line approach, Lee. People are suffering. Most have endured great losses.”

Lee knew his mind on this topic. “So what? As you pointed out, we’ve all had big losses. Why should I bother going out there and risking my life for someone who doesn’t value it? We have to reach out to each other when it hurts.”

Mali’s voice was small. “That’s easier said then done.”

Ben tried to lighten the air. “Yeah, think about what you just said. Reach out? Since when do you let people help you?”

Lee grinned. “I would if I was ready to throw in the towel.” He thought about Ragnar but convinced himself it was different. His ship was damaged.

Mali and Ben stayed until Lee could no longer hide his exhaustion. They bid him good-bye and walked back to the deck. Mali was silent. Ben knew where her thoughts lay. “He’s not quite himself right now, Mali.”

“He’s fine, Ben.” She noted.

When the shuttle door was sealed and they were alone, Ben broached the subject. “What’s going on Mali?”

She was silent.

“I can help.”

She chuckled. “You always try.” She didn’t know why she bothered to hide her feelings from Ben. Right now, he was the one force she had to fight. “It’s over. As soon as Lee is stronger, I’m ending it.”

“What?” The shuttle actually lurched. Ben regained control and glared at her. “Are you insane? Have you lost your mind?”

“I’ve got so many strikes against me, Ben. It’ll never work.” A lone tear strolled down her cheek.

“That’s not true.” Ben had no idea how to advise her. He took a stab. “He never needs to know about those strikes.”

She laughed pathetically. “You just advised me to withhold information from the man I love? Oh, Ben, what’s up?”

“Nothing’s up. If you’re afraid of him finding out, then don’t tell him.”

“And when he finds out? What then? Can I tell him you advised me not to say anything?”

“Then tell him and deal with it now.”

“It would be over anyway. I can’t do this, Ben. I’m not strong enough.”

“That’s the biggest load of crap I’ve ever heard.”

She stared at him. “Ben. I can’t lose him again.”

“Ok, now I’m so confused. What exactly is the issue here, Mali? Is this about Lee or you?”

“Both of us.” She sighed. “Ben. If I end it now, I end it on my terms. I take control of the pain. I can do that. I can’t keep loving him and then WHAM, he’s gone.”

“Or worse?”

She nodded. “Or worse. He’s through with me.”

Ben shook his head. He had no idea what to say. “Mali…”

“Don’t Ben. Don’t say anything. I don’t want you in the middle of this. He’s gonna need you. I know that. You need to be there for him.”

“This is insane, Mali. You have to give things more time.”

“The more time it takes, the harder it will be. I can’t do that.” They flew the rest of the route home in silence.

BSG…BSG…BSG

Admiral Cain was glad at least one of her orders was being respected. She’d seen Lieutenant Thrace arrive and resume a place in the duty roster. She knew however, that Lientenant Custer was still trading shifts to be at Doctor Davis’s beck and call.

She wasn’t happy with Lee Adama’s attack. It was worse when the attackers were themselves killed by an unknown assassin. All this was happening on her ship. It frustrated her. Adama didn’t seem to be slowed by his son’s condition either. Course, that would have been different had Lee not been transferred to Galactica. That was a mistake. As it was, the rest of the fleet still turned to Bill Adama first as their savior. She knew the President sided with him.

If these stupid issues didn’t exist, her command would be perfect.

BSG…BSG…BSG

The following day, Mali was summoned to Colonial One. President Roslin had suffered a particularly bad night. Billy Keikeya, her assistant, had placed the call. Mali had been fully briefed on the President’s advancing terminal cancer. Based on the reports she’d read, she was impressed the woman was still so active and maintained such an exuberant appearance.

She was escorted into the President’s private office. “Madame President?”

Laura Roslin looked up from her work. “Oh, Doctor Davis. I’m so sorry Billy troubled you. It really wasn’t necessary.”

Mali grinned. “I must admit, I expected to find you bedridden. Can I have a look anyway? Since I’m here?”

Roslin returned the smile. “Would it do me any good to argue against it?”

Mali shook her head. “I think it would be best.”

The two women moved to Laura’s quarters. After the check up, Mali asked several other questions and then offered some additional steps. “I’d like you to start taking something at night to sleep.”

Roslin shook her head. “No. I need to be able to awaken if trouble brews at night.”

Mali countered. “No, you need to keep your strength up for the good of the fleet.”

Roslin drew in a deep breath. “All right, but on one condition.” Mali raised an eyebrow and waited for the condition. “Stay and have lunch with me?”

Mali agreed. As they left her quarters and made their way back to her office, Roslin added. “I need to make a brief press release, can you wait for me.”

Mali nodded. “I suppose. It’ll be interesting to see the politics and media up close.”

Laura beamed. “Does that mean you’ve changed your mind about the interview?”

Mali laughed. “Not a chance.”

Roslin met Billy and greeted a few other people. She introduced Mali and then stepped into what had become the press briefing room. Before she knew what was happening, Mali was pushed into the room as well. She tried to slip away from the front, but the throngs of reporters halted her progress.

The press soon quieted and waited for President Roslin’s announcement. “It’s my pleasure to endorse, Thomas Whitman for the presidency. We all know there are several candidates running for the office. I firmly believe that Thomas has the best interests of the entire fleet in mind and will make decisions to that end.”

Rather then ask the President further questions, the press turned to Mali. “Doctor Davis!” One reported crooned out louder then the others. “Are you here to endorse Mr. Whitman as well?”

Mali shook her head. More reporters shouted questions at her. She looked to the President for support but found none. “Although I’m sure Mr. Whitman is a fine man, I’m not here to endorse anyone. Um, I was invited to lunch.”

“Doctor Davis? Will you come out against Tom Zarek?” Another reporter shouted.

Mali squirmed. “I’m not here in any political way. Please leave me alone.” Without bothering to be polite, Mali pushed and shoved her way back out of the room. She paused on the other side to compose herself.

She didn’t notice the President join her. “I’m sorry, Mali. I had no idea. I didn’t think.”

Mali glared at her. “I don’t believe you. I think you planned this whole thing.”

“No, Mali, really.”

Mali was furious. “Madame President, I don’t believe a word you say. I think you’d do just about anything to keep Tom Zarek out of office, including using people.”

Roslin met the doctor’s fury. “I resent that. Even if it were true, could you really blame me? Do you really want to see Tom Zarek in charge of anything?”

Mali stormed out of the room, but stopped in the doorway. “At least we’d know what to expect from him!”

Later that night, Mali returned to her quarters to find them tossed. Everything in the room was in disarray. As she surveyed the damage, her eyes fixed on the closet. Hanging in the middle, out of its protective cover, was her wedding dress. She walked slowly to it, scared at what she might find up close.

Pinned to the hanger was a letter. She pulled it off and opened it. When she’d finished reading it, she sank to her knees. Pulling them up to her chin, she wrapped her arms around her legs and rocked herself as the tears fell. Over and over she muttered, no.

Pyramids*22

If she thought sleep was a distant friend before, it had now evolved to enemy. Her mind told her to tell someone about the letter. Her heart kept it to herself. As a matter of fact, she kept it under her pillow and reread it several times a night. She knew it word for word after the first glance, but still she would hold it in her hands and study each word.

“You didn’t heed our first warning. If you speak out against Tom Zarek, not only will you die, but you’ll watch the ones you love die first.”

Her brain knew if she turned the letter over to the authorities, Zarek’s political interests would be over. She highly doubted he would try anything against Lee again after the threat was made public. Her heart muddied things. She knew how things worked in reality. Zarek’s camp would deny it. They’d claim she’d faked it. They’d blame Roslin. It would all get so twisted and subverted that Zarek would come out smelling like a rose. Didn’t he understand Roslin set her up? She’d never intended to get involved.

Lee was doing better. He was up and around on short walks and had switched from an IV to real foods. The food was simple and bland, but he was thrilled with it. Mali again stayed away from him. She couldn’t see him now. He’d see right through her false bravado. She’d cave into his insistence in a matter of seconds.

Ben pushed her to tell him what was wrong, but she could deny him. He checked on her several times a day. She shoved him off as often as possible. He recruited help and soon Ying and Yang were at it as well. Roslin had sent her several messages apologizing for what had happened. Mali ignored them.

Today she was holding office hours on the Geminon Traveler. Half way through the afternoon, two men came to her in a rush, explaining that there had been an accident in the cargo hold. She was needed immediately. She grabbed her bag and ran with them.

BSG…BSG…BSG

Lee Adama was feeling better and happy to be alive, but angry that his body was still so limited. He had laughed yesterday when his father brought him formal pajamas and a robe, but sitting in the chair today, he had to admit, it did feel more human to him. His father had formed a habit of coming in at lunchtime. He brought his own and they shared this time together. Lee found himself looking forward to it each day.

Lee glanced at the door when he heard voices in the hall and smiled to see not only his father, but Ben as well. “Hey! Twice as lucky today.”

Adama smiled. Lee was looking better each day. He knew Cottle was still worried about complications, Lee had developed a slight infection, but it was hard to share the major’s fear with Lee doing so outwardly well. “I picked up a straggler. Even got him a sandwich.”

“Yeah, but he wouldn’t spring for a beverage.” Ben complained. Today there was no rank, just a family gathering.

“Ingrate.” Adama countered.

Lee laughed. He still had to hold his side a bit, but it felt good. He sobered just a bit. “She didn’t come with you today?”

A pall fell over the room. “No, she has office hours on the Geminon Traveler today.”

“I see.” They were interrupted by the arrival of Lee’s lunch tray and the three men sat down to eat. They avoided any further discussion of Mali.

Saul Tigh and President Roslin thundered down the hallway to Lee’s room, followed by two marines. They ran into Lee’s room and Roslin scanned the room.

Adama stood immediately. “What’s wrong?” He didn’t like the look on either of their faces.

“Where’s Mali?” Roslin asked.

Ben stood now too. “She’s out on the fleet. Why?”

Tigh handed Adama a read out. “Frak! Send marines over to the Geminon Traveler and escort her here, immediately.” Saul went to the nearest phone and issued the orders.

Roslin grew even more afraid. “The Geminon are allies to Zarek.”

Lee struggled to stand and managed to grab the letter from his father’s hand before he collapsed on the bed. With shaking hands, he read the report. “Gods! I have to get to her.”

He redoubled his efforts to stand, but his father’s arm stopped him. “Lee, you’re not going anywhere.”

Ben was still oblivious. “What’s wrong?”

Adama explained. “A transmission from the Astral Queen was intercepted. It said that the second warning had been delivered and the doctor appeared to be complying finally, but that another warning was warranted soon.”

“She was a target all along.” Ben lamented.

“I was afraid of this.” Roslin added. “I don’t think the press conference the other day helped anything. He must have thought she planned it.”

Lee struggled again. “I’ve gotta go to her.”

All four people shouted at him at once. “NO!”

“DAMN IT! Then take me to the Astral Queen so I can kill Zarek with my bare hands.” Anyone looking at Lee at that moment knew full well he could and would do it.

Adama pushed him back again. “Don’t worry, son. I’ll get you your chance at Zarek. For right now, we need to make sure Mali’s safe.”

“I’ll go, Lee. I’ll keep her safe.” Ben offered.

Lee nodded grudgingly. Ben rushed out the door. Lee pounded his fist into his bed and muttered “frak!” over and over again. He stopped suddenly and looked at the President. “How did you find out about this?”

“After your attack, I had Billy contact a few allies for information. They hadn’t found anything until this. I was here to see you and Billy called right away.”

“Can they link it directly to Zarek?” Lee asked with false optimism. He doubted they could prove anything.

She spoke what all were thinking, “I doubt it.”

Adama kept his arm on his son’s shoulder, attempting to calm him. He wondered if it was more for Lee or himself. There was an uncomfortable silence in the room as the remaining people dealt with their inability to act. It was going to be a long afternoon.

BSG…BSG…BSG

Mali followed the two men, who stopped outside the cargo hold door. They had come a far distance and hadn’t seen anyone for some time. Mali was too worried about what she would find inside to consider it threatening. As soon as she stepped through the door, the two men ran the opposite direction, back down the hallway. She called to them, but before she could react, she felt her body pulled backward into a darkened hold and then smashed into the wall. The sudden impact knocked the wind out of her. She gasped at air to refill her lungs. Before she could speak, she felt an arm press against her throat.

A strange voice hissed at her. “You were warned, but we don’t think you really listened.”

She reached up and grabbed at the arm. It didn’t budge. She could feel her nerves already screaming for oxygen. She knew she needed to act fast. She’d never been much of a fighter, but Lee and Ben had given her basic lessons. She moved her feet slightly to figure out how the attacker was standing. Luckily, she could tell he stood with his legs apart for leverage. Without warning and praying that she would meet her target, she raised her knee and made direct contact with the man’s groin. He instantly fell back in pain.

To get back to the door, she’d have to pass her attacker, so she moved the opposite direction. There was a small amount of reddish light to guide her. She moved as quickly as her nerves and the many cargo crates blocking her path would allow. She had to make constant twists and turns. She prayed it would serve to confuse her followers. She could hear at least two sets of feet pursuing her. She chewed her lip to mask her fear and heavy breathing.

BSG…BSG…BSG

Axe had pushed the raptor loaded with marines as fast as it could go. He ignored the presence of the many ships he passed. He was flying recklessly but could think of nothing but getting to Mali in a hurry. He knew if he got there and she was fine, he’d receive a tongue lashing like no other, but he had a bad feeling. He somehow knew she was in danger right now.

They landed and immediately moved to the medical facilities. He roared in followed by six marines in full armor and baring guns. “Where’s Doctor Davis?”

There was silence. The people within were terrified. “WHERE IS SHE?”

A medic slowly moved a step closer. “She was called to the hold on a medical emergency.”

“How long ago?”

“Maybe twenty minutes?” He answered.

“Can you show us where it is?”

The medic nodded and led the men out. At first the bewildered medic only walked fast, but when the guns lowered into his back, accidentally, he picked up his pace. Soon the eight men were running.

BSG…BSG…BSG

Mali knew there had to be another exit. As she slid between cartons, she scanned for signs higher on the wall. She was rewarded with an exit about twenty meters to her left. The space in between was relatively open. She gulped and gathered her courage for the run. There wasn’t much light. She’d have to focus on the sign and hope she wasn’t missing anything on the floor.

She was halfway to the sign and presumed door, when the shot rang out. She felt it fly above her head and a fraction of a second later, the light exploded and flickered out. She was lost in darkness now.

Suddenly her body was thrown to the floor and pinned there by a larger frame. She screamed for help but was rewarded with two sharp slaps to the face. “Shut up.”

She cried. “I haven’t done anything. Please don’t hurt me.” She felt sweat from the man above her drip onto her face.

“That’s the problem, isn’t it? We’ve decided you should speak out in favor of Zarek.”

She shook her head. “No. I can’t.”

“I think you will.”

Again she shook her head.

“I think you will, or you will die right now.” He literally spit his words at her.

Even if the lights were on, she’d never have been able to see the man above her. Her own tears, mixed with his spittle, blinded her. From somewhere deep inside, she found courage. “Then kill me, NOW! I won’t back a MURDER!”

She felt a knife pierce at her flesh, but then a second voice stopped it. “Well, if we’re gonna kill her anyway, we should have a little fun first.” A hand grabbed at her breast and squeezed then it moved to the point between her legs.

Mali’s mind screamed. They were going to rape her. She pleaded, “no no no no”. The response was the knife lowering from her neck to her blouse, where it cut away the buttons one at a time. She thrashed and struggled but there were now two men holding her down. Somewhere off to her right, she saw a flashlight that had been discarded. As she fought her attackers, she inched herself in its direction. She knew if she could reach it, she could hit at least one of the men and make a run for it.

Her fingers were inches away from it. She lurched with all her strength and grasped it. Faster then even she could imagine she swung it hard, catching one man alongside the head. He bellowed in anger and staggered back. She pushed herself away from the other man and stumbled to her feet. Still holding the flashlight, she used it to guide herself toward the door. Another shot rang out and she altered her direction, sensing the need to find cover in the boxes.

At that moment, the lights blazed in the cargo hold. Mali screamed with all her might. She heard rushing feet. She’d never felt such relief in her life. She continued to scream and to her surprise recognized Ben’s voice calling back to her. She had no idea how he’d known, but thanked the gods he was here.

She left her secure position and ran to the thunder of steps coming nearer to her. She saw Ben round a large carton and ran to him. She had no idea what was going on behind her and at that moment, she didn’t care. She ran to Ben and lurched into his arms.

Ben saw Mali coming at him, but also saw an armed man training his gun on her. As soon as she was in his arms, he twisted his body and shielded her as the man in front of them let loose with a hail of bullets. The marines behind him opened fire and within seconds, the assailant was dead.

Mali muttered. “There’s two.”

Four of the marines shot past them and continued the search of the room. Mali held Ben tightly, but felt herself falling. She knew it wasn’t her legs failing, as her knees were locked tight. Suddenly she realized it was Ben falling, not her. He collapsed to the ground and it was only then that Mali saw the puddle of blood forming the on the floor.

“NOOOO!!!” She screamed and remaining marines surrounded her. One grabbed his med kit and began to stuff a bandage into the first bleeding hole he found. Mali pushed him off.

“Damn you! We need to get him to a Life Station. HURRY!”

The marines picked Ben up and ran with him back to the shuttle bay. They enlisted a recently arrived pilot and took off, not even waiting for clearance. Someone along the way had had the foresight to pick up her bag and she treated Ben as best she could with what she had. She wished the ship had a better bay. It couldn’t provide enough to save Ben. She talked to Ben, encouraging him the entire way.

She’d counted four shots; all of them center back. Her mind knew he was lucky to still be alive. “How long?”

“Two minutes.” The pilot shouted back.

“Where will we be then?” She continued to work on Ben.

“Galactica!”

Pyramids*23

She ran along side Ben’s gurney through the ship. She continually called to him, encouraging him to stay with her. Doctor Cottle was waiting for them. He tried to push Mali aside but she wouldn’t budge. They both called out for various tests to be performed and drugs to be administered. It was confusing the staff. Cottle looked at one of the marines and with a simple nod, the large man pulled Mali away. She screamed in outrage.

How she heard it, she’d never know, but from his bed, despite the oxygen mask, Ben called to her. “Knock it off, Mali.” She calmed instantly and returned to his side. He coughed and sputtered and she took his hand.

Tigh had already returned to CIC and when the trauma arrived, both the President and Adama assisted Lee to the main area. They both knew better then to try and stop him. The small group arrived as Mali was returning to Ben’s side. Lee took one look at the scene and a cold fist grasped his heart. Loath as he was to admit it, he knew this wasn’t going to end well.

Cottle and the medical professionals looked grim. Cottle allowed himself to listen to Mali’s words to the injured man. “Hang on. We’ll have you in surgery shortly. You’re gonna be fine.” She whispered it over and over again. “You and Lee will be leading a life of leisure for some time.”

Cottle placed his hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him and quickly looked away. She didn’t want to hear what he had to say. She ran her fingers along side Ben’s face, ignoring her colleague.

Cottle spoke anyway. “Mali, you know better.”

Lee moved closer at Cottle’s words. He stepped away from his father and used the side of the bed to gain purchase next to Mali. Someone was thoughtful enough to slide a chair in underneath him. He dropped thankfully.

Mali set her face in determination to win this battle. She looked at Cottle. “Prep him for Surgery!” She demanded.

He shook his head. “Mali, you know he won’t make it.”

She looked back at Ben and yet spoke to Cottle. “He will too. Don’t you give up on him!”

Ben dragged his eyes open. He was only partially aware of the physical world around him. He forced his eyes to focus and the faces of Lee and Mali swam into view. He drew in a deep breath and used what remaining strength he had to push at the mask, sure to obscure his words. Mali tried to stop him, but Lee, understanding Ben’s desire, held her hand back. Ben spoke. “My two favorite people.” His voice was breathy and full of pain.

Lee’s hands trembled at the emotion he struggled to contain. He met Ben’s eyes. “I told you I’d save her.”

Mali was still denying the truth before her eyes. She complained. “That was the most foolish thing I’ve ever seen. Why didn’t you push me down?” He voice broke and the rest of her statement came out in a jumble. “You shouldn’t have turned into the bullets, Ben. You shouldn’t have.”

Lee couldn’t bring himself to look away from Ben. He owed his friend his attention until the end. He prayed it would bring them both comfort. “Thank you.”

Ben smiled. The effort tore through Mali’s heart. “No, Ben. I need you. You have to fight.”

He shook his head ever so slightly. His voice was now a whisper. “You need Lee.”

She continued to argue. “I need you both.”

“You need to tell him everything, Mali.” He switched to look at Lee’s confused face. “He’ll understand. He loves you.”

“Ben, stop wasting your strength. Rest!” Mali couldn’t find a shred of medical knowledge in her brain, all she felt was pain and loss.

Lee slid his hand underneath Ben and Mali’s. He squeezed them both. “Rest well, my friend. Rest well. I’ll take care of her now.”

Ben nodded. “I know you will, just as I would have.”

In that moment, Lee understood that his friend had cared for Mali for more then an obligation to friendship. He’d come under her spell as well. He didn’t feel anger or jealousy. If anything, he felt even more sadness at his friend’s silent desire.

Ben gazed at his closest friends, their heads so close together now in mutual comfort. Tears streamed down Mali’s dirty, bloodstained cheeks. He drew in a series of small pathetic breaths and then expelled his last. He hadn’t closed his eyes, not wanting to lose sight of the ones he loved like family.

Major Cottle moved his hand to close Ben’s eyes, but Lee stopped him and gently shut his friend’s eyes himself. He brought his arm back and wrapped it around Mali, who sobbed uncontrollably. Adama, silently watching the heartbreaking scene, stepped closer and laid his hand on Lee’s shoulder as well.

“Let’s get you back to bed, Son.” He gently insisted.

Lee shook him off for several minutes. Mali still cried and he couldn’t bring himself to separate from her shaking form. Doctor Cottle and Adama exchanged knowing glances. Cottle came around the side of the bed and crouched next to Mali. Lee watched him with interest. “Mali, can you hear me?” Cottle plied quietly.

She turned her head ever so slightly in response, so he continued. “Mali, you need to let go now. Let us clean Ben up.”

She didn’t respond. It took a moment for the doctor to realize she couldn’t. Her grasp had become a literal death grip. Her fingers were frozen. He mouthed a drug to a nurse waiting nearby and turned his attentions back to the overwrought woman. “Mali, I can see that you were hurt today. Can I check you over?”

She shook her head no. She muttered, “I’m fine.”

He touched the blood encrusted cut on her neck. “This needs cleaning and tending. Did they hold you by your neck, too? It seems swollen.” Anyone could see the bruises coloring across her neck and face.

Lee, listening to the doctor’s soothing words, finally noticed Mali’s state. A shiver went through him, wondering just what else she’d had to endure today. “My lady, please let the doc help you.”

Mali turned to the new voice. It was a voice she knew and loved. It was the name they used only when they were alone. “You’re still here?”

He smiled. “Of course, I’m here. Mali.” He assumed a command tenor. “I need to be sure you’re alright. I can’t lose you today too.”

His desire to see her well numbed her pain a bit. She still had Lee. She finally nodded. She looked at her own hand, holding Ben’s still one. “He won’t let go.” The voice attached to the statement was small and childlike.

The nurse returned with a loaded syringe and a cleaning swab. Cottle prepped her arm and quickly jabbed her. He placed his hand over hers. “This will help.” Gently he pried each of her fingers up.

Within seconds, she slumped toward Lee. He wasn’t ready to support her weight and found himself falling backward off the chair. Adama had foreseen the situation and stepped closer. He supported Lee while Cottle slipped his arms under Mali to move her. It surprised only those who didn’t know him well to see the ornery major handle his colleague so gently. He settled her on a nearby exam bed.

Adama had meant to help Lee back to his bed. The events of the day were proving too much. He was pale and his breaths were more labored then in the past days. He pulled Lee up, knowing her wouldn’t tolerate a wheelchair and maneuvered him back to his room. As they neared Mali’s bed, Lee held his feet and stared in disbelief.

It was clear that her attackers had attempted to cut her blouse off. The buttons were cut away and her front was littered with small cuts where the tip of the knife had struck. Unaware of Lee’s presence, Cottle and a nurse were removing the blouse. Her arms were already dark purple. She fought hard today. Lee prayed they hadn’t gotten any further. Anger at the abuses she’d suffered that day kept him standing, but only for so long. After a few minutes, his legs began to falter. Lee fought it, but it was clear he wouldn’t win.

Adama pulled him to his own room and settled him in his own bed. “Lee, I swear, I won’t leave until we know more. You need to rest now. I’ll wake you when Doc Cottle has finished.”

“Dad…” Lee’s voice trailed off in frustration.

“Lee. I’m sorry. If I could change any of this, I would. You have to rest. You’ll need all your strength for this. Please don’t argue.”

Lee’s head dropped to the side and he stared at the door. It didn’t take long for his lids to grow droopy and soon he slipped off to an uneasy sleep.

Adama and President Roslin waited quietly outside the curtained off area for the doctor to appear. Neither had noted how long they waited, but he finally appeared.

Adama stepped forward. “How is she? Was she?” He couldn’t finish the question.

Cottle shook his head. “It looks like they were interrupted. Physically, she’ll be fine. She’s bruised, but none of the cuts were deep.” He paused. “I’m more concerned about her mental and emotional state.”

Roslin answered. “Certainly she’ll need time, but we’ll support her.”

Adama didn’t seem like he was paying attention. He was looking through the small opening in the curtains. “She needs Lee.”

“Exactly!” Again the Commander and Doctor were thinking alike. “And he’s in no shape to provide the support she needs. We have a lot to uncover yet.”

Adama nodded. “I have an idea that would help both of them.” He shared his thoughts and after a few minutes of arguing, the doctor consented.

BSG…BSG…BSG

Lee rolled over onto his other side. The movement created a stitch in his chest and he opened his eyes at the pain. He blinked a few times and then stared in disbelief at what he saw. A second bed had been rolled in and Mali lay on it curled in a ball, asleep. Suddenly, the pain of the day flooded back and he realized he’d lost his best friend that day. He looked over at the chair Ben had most recently occupied. Tears threatened to burn from his eyes, but he held them back. Ben had loved Mali and given his life to save her. What had Mali asked? Why not fall? There must not have been time. If Ben had pushed her backward, she might have still been hit. By turning his body, he assured her protection. He’d kept his word. He said he’d keep her safe and he did. Now it was his turn.

He pulled himself from his bed and crawled across to her to snuggle. She stirred but didn’t wake. He pulled her into his arms and she snuggled into his chest. The pressure from her form didn’t help his breathing, but he wasn’t about to let her wake up feeling alone. He needed it as much as she did. He didn’t know what Ben knew. Ben seemed to know why she’d been avoiding him. Ben had felt it was important that she tell him. Lee would let her know it was important to him that he hear it.

BSG…BSG…BSG

Cain pounded off the shuttle in Galactica’s bay. Not a single specialist present would have dared get in her path. She continued her rage filled journey all the way to CIC, where she found Commander Adama conferring with not only Colonel Tigh, but President Roslin as well. They were going over reports.

“Commander Adama, I’ll see you in your office, NOW.” Cain demanded.

Adama didn’t allow himself to be intimidated. “Yes, Sir.” He followed the Admiral to his own quarters. Both walked in silence.

Cain actually entered first. It was obvious to Adama this wasn’t going to go well. What neither realized was that Laura Roslin had followed them. She suspected she knew what this was about and felt she could help. She stepped in behind the military leaders. Cain was about to speak when she noticed the President. “Madame President, I don’t recall asking for you.”

Roslin smiled. “No, you didn’t. I came of my own free will. I wanted to know what this was about.”

“I can assure you it’s a military matter, Madame President.” Cain replied.

“Is this not concerning the death of Lieutenant Custer?” She asked.

Cain stammered just a second. “It is.”

“Then I shall stay. I am just as involved as Commander Adama.”

Cain ignored her and focused on Adama. “What the FRAK happened? Why is one of my finest officers DEAD on Galactica?”

Adama remained calm. “I sent over the report. Lieutenant Custer volunteered to see to the safety of Doctor Davis when a threat was intercepted. In the process of saving her life, he lost his own. It was a terrible tragedy.”

“I got that part. I want to know much more.” Cain insisted.

Roslin interjected. “Like what, Admiral?”

Cain glared at the president. “Why was Custer on Galactica?”

Adama answered. “It was his down time. He flew over to see Captain Adama.”

Cain was growing angrier at the moment. She couldn’t help but feel there was a conspiracy between these two. “How in the hell did he earn down time when he’s traded most of his shifts to spend time with the Captain already?”

Adama grinned. “I guess you’ll have to take that up with your acting CAG. He had permission.”

Cain was undaunted. “How is it that you came to be in possession of this so called threat?”

Roslin again interjected. “That was my doing, Admiral. After the first attack on Captain Adama and Doctor Davis, I asked my aide to put out feelers for information. We got this notice this morning from one of our sources.”

“Why wasn’t I notified of this investigation? The Pegasus was already concerned with the security of these two. What you did was withhold valuable information. I should arrest you for obstruction of justice, Madame President.”

Roslin exchanged a smirk with the Commander and looked back to the Admiral. “I can assure you, there was no intention of keeping you out of the loop, Admiral. It was an oversight that I promise won’t be repeated in the future.”

Cain turned to Adama. “I assume you knew all about this secondary investigation?”

He shook his head. “I only found out then.” He dared more. “If I may, Admiral. The President and I have had more experience dealing with the likes of Tom Zarek and his cronies.”

Cain smiled, catching the two in a bigger problem. “You have no evidence linking this to Zarek. As far as I’m concerned, you’ve done nothing but slander him.”

Roslin was incensed. “Admiral! The man who was shot was from the Astral Queen. He was seen talking earlier in the day to a man named Tom Hanson, who is Zarek’s primary aide. The Geminon Traveler has long been an ally of Zarek’s and Mali Davis is the only thing that can keep him out of the Presidency. What more do you need?” She bit her lip. She’d just admitted her worst nightmare. Tom Zarek was going to win the presidency. She forced the thought back down in her mind and focused on the Admiral.

“Those are all very circumstantial. No jury would convict Zarek on that.” Admiral Cain replied. “What about the other threats that Doctor Davis supposedly received?”

“Supposedly?” Adama let the insinuation drop, but added. “When Mali is able, she’ll tell us about them. We assume the first incident was referring to the attack on both of them.”

“Captain Adama was the only one attacked. Doctor Davis’s shuttle was damaged by negligence and circumstance.” Admiral Cain felt like her back was up against a wall. She couldn’t allow herself to be the one in the wrong.

Roslin was beyond furious now. “ADMIRAL! I don’t have the slightest idea why you seem more interested in avoiding this case then solving it, but I’ve had it with your continual refusal to do what is necessary. As a matter of fact, I think one of our next steps is to interview your communication’s officer. The one who supposedly mixed up the messages?”

Admiral Cain assumed full command posture. “Madame President, I don’t care for your accusations.”

“Then we understand each other perfectly.” She said bluntly. “Admiral, I don’t trust you.”

“What?” Cain was stunned. “I hardly think I have given you any reason to doubt my integrity, just because it hasn’t been investigated as you wish. Frankly, this is a military matter and you’re involvement is NOT ALLOWED!” She quickly added. “But I understand you have a hard time staying out of the military issues, especially in light of all your prior experience.”

Adama wanted to laugh. He couldn’t believe he was getting the thrill of watching these two battle it out. As much as he enjoyed it, he knew it would do nothing to improve conditions. He had to step in. “Madame President! Admiral Cain! This is going nowhere. What’s important here is that we find out who is trying to harm two vital people for the fleet? Using two different methods of investigation is sure to bring us better outcomes.”

Both leaders separated, as if boxers going to their respective corners. No one said anything. The silence was broken by a call from CIC requesting the Admiral’s return to the Pegasus.

On her way to the door, she stated flatly. “Keep me informed on any new developments.” She left without waiting for a reply.

When she’d left the room, both Adama and Roslin broke into fits of laughter. Adama tried to stop. In between laughs, he managed to get out. “This really isn’t a laughing matter.”

Roslin didn’t even try to speak. She simply shook her head.

Cain arrived back on the Pegasus in a foul mood. She was informed that she had a visitor in her office. She went directly there wanting whoever it was to state their business and leave quickly. She entered and stopped in her tracks. A smile lit her lips. “Mr. Zarek. What a pleasant surprise.”

Pyramids*24

Several days passed. Mali was quieter than ever. She continued to sleep on the bed in Lee’s room and more often than not; he slept there with her. He held her gently each night as she muttered anguished cries for help or begged for Ben to fight or cried because she felt she was the cause of his death.

Adama and Cain had gone a few rounds again over the location of Ben’s funeral. Cain argued that he’d served on Pegasus and therefore it was to be held there. Adama argued that he was closest to Lee and Mali and since neither was in any condition to travel, it should be held on Galactica. Cain would not relent, so Adama took steps of his own. He arranged a memorial service on Galactica before sending the body to Pegasus. Both Lee and Mali attended, but it was kept short, as neither had the stamina for a full service.

Later in the week, Ying and Yang brought Ben’s personal effects to Galactica. Tommy did most of the talking. “We know he’d have wanted you two to have this stuff.” He handed Mali the guitar. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she strummed it a few times. They’d had so much fun. Lee fingered the disk player. Like Mali, Ben always had music playing. His friend had been a unique man. He was a strong warrior with the heart of a poet. He’d even written a song for Lee and Mali. He’d bugged Lee for weeks. Asking intimate questions about Lee’s feelings for the doctor. He’d presented them with the song the night before they all split up. He called it their wedding present. Lee found himself wondering if Mali remembered the song.

BSG…BSG…BSG

Adama pushed his son in the wheelchair. In typical Adama fashion, they’d argued about the whole process. Lee had insisted that wherever they were going, he could walk. Doctor Cottle then demanded he stay put unless he accepted the wheels. Mali trailed behind them now. She was in the dark as well. Neither Lee nor Mali knew where Adama was bringing them. Adama grinned and Kara positively beamed when she joined them in the causeway. Adama looked at her. “Everything set?”

She nodded. “All set.” She slipped behind father and son and walked slightly ahead of Mali. Over her shoulder, she taunted Mali. “You don’t deserve this, you know.” She was about to dispense another zing when she caught Adama’s voice. “Yes, Lee, this was my idea.”

Adama added. “I want to know what she promised Cottle.”

Kara grinned slyly. “I’ll never tell.”

“So, where are we going?” Lee asked again.

Kara pulled Lee to a stop in front of one of the guest rooms. Adama held out his hand to stop Mali, who had begun to drift past them. “We thought you two could use some privacy.”

Lee was stunned. “We get to stay here?” He quickly added, “alone? No nurses?”

Adama chuckled and Kara grinned. “Well, you’ll have visitors a couple times a day. You know, someone to bring you meals and make sure you’re both breathing.”

Lee looked at Mali. She seemed to understand, but said nothing. “This is incredible.” He supplied for both of them.

Adama grew serious. “This isn’t freedom. You need to rest.” They all knew he was alluding to several possible activities.

Lee blushed. “I think we can handle it.”

Adama added. “And one more thing you have to promise.”

Lee looked suspicious. “What’s that?”

“If you need help, you’ll call. No deceiving us. If this doesn’t work and you need more help, you have to ask.”

Lee nodded. “Deal.”

Adama wheeled his son over to the bed and worked to settle him in. Mali hung back by the doorway. Kara again threw some barbs her way. “How does it feel?”

Mali grumbled quietly. “What do you want?” Both women managed small smiles when the Adama men glanced their way.

“I’m gonna stop often you know. I’m not going to let you kill another man who loves you.” Kara’s voice was cold.

Mali was stunned. “What did you say?”

Kara laughed. “You are blind, aren’t you? Anyone could see Ben was in love with you. He admitted it himself.”

Mali’s lips trembled. “You’re lying.”

Kara looked squarely at her opponent. “We had a bond, Ben and I. We shared a common purpose.”

Before Mali could reply, Adama joined them. Adama smiled at his son and wished him well as well as reminded him of his promise. He left. Kara lingered. Lee looked at her, truly amazed. “I can’t believe you did all this for us.” He emphasized the ‘us’.

Kara glanced over to Mali, who had moved to curled up in a chair. Mali watched the two cautiously. Starbuck replied. “You two have been through too much. You need this.” She was quiet and then added. “Ben would have wanted it this way.”

The mention of his friend dulled Lee’s smile slightly. “Thank you.” Starbuck flashed him a cheeky grin. “You owe me.” They laughed and she left.

Lee looked over to the chair and held out his hand for Mali. He held his breath, wondering if she would take it. She did. When she reached the bed, they lay down together, both slept. Later that afternoon, they woke to find a tray of food laid out on the table.

“Shall we eat?” Lee asked.

She shook her head. “Go ahead. I’m not hungry.”

He lifted her chin gingerly, staring briefly at the fading bruises on her cheek. “You need to eat. So do it. Come on, help me over.” He knew she wouldn’t refuse him if he implied he needed help.

They settled in the chairs at the table and ate. It was slow, but she managed to finish the plate of food he set before her. When they had both finished, she spoke. “I should be caring for you, not the opposite.”

He smiled at her. “We do what we can for each other, isn’t that what marriage is all about?” She looked away. He knew it was now or never. “Is there something you need to tell me?”

She shook her head again and looked away.

“Ben seemed to think there was something I needed to hear. Please don’t hold back, Mali. We can get through anything.”

Mali looked back, a lone tear running down her cheek. “It’s my fault. Isn’t that enough?”

It was Lee’s turn to shake his head. “Mali. It isn’t your fault.”

She stood and paced the room. “Everyone says that, but I know they’re lying. If I had told someone about the frakin’ letter, Ben would be alive right now.” There was anger in her voice.

“We don’t know that. It might not have changed anything.” He countered. “I think there’s more. I don’t think this is what Ben was talking about.” He walked to her and captured her shoulders. “Come on. We’re both rested. Now is as good a time as any. What do you need to tell me? Did you… Was there someone else?”

Mali laughed. “That would be so much eaiser.” She paused. “Lee, you really don’t want this. Trust me.”

“No, I think you need to trust me.”

She moaned softly. “You’re not going to like it. I’m going to lose you.”

Lee laughed. “I thought I was losing you. You were avoiding me for so long.”

She had to admit to that. “I was. I was trying to lose you.”

Lee was shocked. “What? Why?”

She shook her head slowly. “I couldn’t go through it again.”

“What? Go through what again, Mali?”

“Losing you. It almost killed me last time, Lee. I couldn’t go through it again. I figured if I ended things on my terms, I’d be fine.”

Lee settled himself in a chair. “What changed?”

“I couldn’t do it.”

He smiled. “You love me.”

“More then you’ll ever know. That’s why it was so hard to lose you.”

“Which time?” He asked.

“Both.” She hesitated. “Lee, I didn’t do well the first time.”

He nodded. “I know. Both you and Ben said so. Is that the problem? That’s what you’re afraid of?”

She shook her head. “No. It’s what happened the first time.”

Lee didn’t like where this was going, but as he’d pushed her this far, he knew they couldn’t stop. “Go on.”

“Please don’t make me, Lee. Can’t we just pretend?”

He sighed. “You know we can’t. Tell me.” The space between his eyes wrinkled with concern.

“You’ll hate me.” Her words were barely above a whisper.

He stood again and pulled her to the chair. She sank to her knees and rested her head on his knees. He stroked her head, murmuring words of love.

She drew in a deep breath, held it a moment and then released it. She began her tale; despite knowing it was about to end her relationship with Lee. “For the first few days after the attack, I was numb. We made jump after jump after jump. When things had settled down just a bit, the whole huge ordeal hit me. I thought you were dead. I was lost. I felt so alone and so… I can’t even describe it. Ben tried to help. He really did. He hovered around me all the time making me eat and sleep.”

Lee interrupted. “He was a good friend.”

Mali nodded but paused before finally continuing. “A few weeks later, I wasn’t feeling well. I was sick all the time. Ben was worried. He made me tell Diane. She made me take a pregnancy test.”

Lee stared at her face. “Mali?”

She bore a small smile. “I was pregnant.”

Lee was about to beam, when he realized, it had not gone well. “You lost the baby?”

“Yes.”

He grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “We’ll have other children or is that the problem? Mali, did you find something wrong?”

She shook her head. “No. That wasn’t it.” She looked into his eyes, knowing what she was about to say was going to anger him. She was frightened, but knew she couldn’t stop.

“Did you… Did you end the pregnancy?” He asked softly, not sure what answer he wanted to hear.

“Two months before then, I would have been thrilled to carry your child, but Lee, I was so scared. I cried for days. I had no idea what I was going to do. I didn’t think I could raise the baby alone.” She drew in a breath, reliving the anguished days in a matter of seconds. “I was worse then ever.”

“Mali, I’m really confused. What happened to the baby? You couldn’t have… You couldn’t have delivered yet, right?”

She shook her head. “No, but I would have soon.” She digressed. “We might have been parents any day now.”

Lee didn’t know what to say. “Go on.”

“I was afraid. I didn’t know when the Cylons would attack. I didn’t have anything to raise a baby with. I was alone. I was just so damn scared and weak.”

“And?” Lee had to hear the whole story.

“I made a decision. I figured since you were dead, I needed to be with you.”

“With me? Mali you thought I was dead.”

She nodded. “I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills.” She let her words sink in. Lee said nothing. He did, however, pull his hand away from hers. “I was lying on the bed, rubbing my stomach. Telling our baby we were on our way to meet his daddy. We’d be together as a family soon and everything would be all right.”

Lee suddenly felt cold. “You killed the baby?”

Her head shot up to meet his. “No… No… Ben… Ben found us. He saw the bottle and made me throw it up. I was fine. The baby was fine. He talked to me. He held me and cried with me. He showed me how wrong I was. He told me I’d never be alone and that he’d always be there for the baby and me. He reminded me that this baby was a part of you, so I’d always have you with me.”

Lee’s expression was as cold as he felt.

“I got better. I got excited. I started living for the baby.”

He grabbed her wrists tightly. “Damn it Mali! What happened to the baby?”

“He died.” She whispered.

“He??? When???” Lee’s face radiated anger.

“I went into premature labor. He was born way too soon. We didn’t have the medical supplies or equipment to help him.” Tears flowed freely and she fought the memories to deliver the story. “He fought so hard to live. He was tiny.” She grabbed his hand and traced it. “No bigger then your hand. So tiny.”

Lee was now numb. “How long did he live?”

“Only a few hours.” She wiped at the tears on her face.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” He asked pointedly.

“We kept it a secret. I wasn’t showing much. We hadn’t expected it so soon. It all happened so fast, I doubt many people on Pegasus knew what was happening.”

“Who else knew?”

“Ben, Diana, Ying and Yang.”

“And none of them saw fit to tell me? I called them friends.” His voice lacked emotion.

“We didn’t want to hurt you... or me.” She added.

He suddenly roared and rose to his feet. “YOU DIDN’T WANT TO HURT ME? YOU DON’T THINK THIS HURTS?” Lee’s head was spinning, nothing seemed right in his world any longer. He felt like he’d misread everything.

She pleaded with him to calm down. She pulled at his legs to try and return him to his seat. “Lee, please…”

He looked at her with ice in his eyes. “First you kill my son by trying to kill your own selfish self. Then you kill Ben. No, I don’t know who you are anymore. I… I can’t do this.” He gestured between she and himself. “No. No more.”

“Lee, please. I didn’t kill the baby. He just came too soon.” She begged. “You have to understand. Please…”

Lee walked to the door. “No. I can’t understand this. You’re a doctor. You’re not supposed to take lives Mali. You’ve managed two take two of the ones I loved. No.”

He had no idea where he’d found the strength, but he marched to the door and left her alone in the room. She screamed for him, calling his name over and over again. He didn’t return. She crawled on all fours to the bed and pulled herself up. She rolled onto the pillow Lee had used and breathed in his scent. She pulled the covers over her head and prayed the darkness would take her, even permanently.

Pyramids*25

Adama checked on the young couple the next morning. He knocked and waited for a reply. Hearing none, he knocked again. After several minutes, he still got no response. Using executive privilege, he opened the door. “Lee? Mali?”

He got no response. He looked at the bed and saw what appeared to be a lone body under the covers. It seemed too small to be his son. He ignored the anxious tug at his heart and approached the bed. “Mali?” The only response he got was a stifled whimper. “Mali?” He grasped the top of the blanket and slowly pulled it back, not sure what he would find. “Mali, where’s Lee? Are you all right?”

As the light of the room exposed her tear soaked head, she snatched the blanket from his hand and ordered him to leave. When he didn’t immediately move, she repeated the request more loudly. “GET OUT!”

He noted she was still in her clothes from yesterday. He grabbed the entire blanket and pulled it back with a snap. “Tell me where Lee is!”

Mali knew Adama wouldn’t give up. She mumbled to him. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him since last night. Now will you just leave?”

Adama wasn’t about to leave her alone in this state. “Mali, what happened?”

She didn’t answer and he asked again. “Mali, I can’t help if you don’t tell me what happened.”

She laughed sickly. “You can’t help. You don’t have to anymore. It’s over.”

“Mali, I know it looks bad right now. I’m sure you’ve fought before. It can’t be all that bad. Sit up and tell me what happened.” He urged her to comply by pulling her arm.

She snapped her arm back and roared in his face. “I SAID IT WAS OVER. GET THE HELL OUT AND FIND YOUR SON!” She saw the shocked look on his face and immediately regretted her actions. She tried to back peddle. “I’m sorry. It hurts. I hurt him and he won’t ever forgive me. I don’t deserve him. I’ve failed him.” She cried now. “Just go. Find him. Support him. He needs you. You’re all he has left.”

Adama couldn’t even imagine what could have happened to create this situation. He didn’t want to. “No, Mali. I can’t leave you like this.”

She pushed at him. In a voice, barely above a whisper she pleaded with him. “Please go. You’ll hate me soon enough too. Don’t let Lee think for a moment you’ve listened to me. You’re his father. Go find him.”

“Mali…”

“GO! GET OUT!” She tried screaming it, but it wouldn’t come out as more then a gasp.

Adama left her, making a note to send Doctor Cottle to check on her. She was more then distraught; she seemed irrational.

He checked Life Station and didn’t find Lee. Not that he really expected to. He let Cottle know he should check on Mali and then proceeded to the next possible place Lee might have gone, the empty hangar bay. Much to his distress, he found Lee there, huddled on the ground, looking indescribably lost and confused. “Lee?”

 Lee didn't respond. Adama moved closer. Lee's eyes were open, but his expression was vacant. "Son?" He reached out and touched his son's cheek, hoping for a response. He again got nothing. His worry grew exponentially with each unresponsive second. "Lee, talk to me. I saw Mali. Tell me what's happened." Having nearly lost his son too many times recently had brought about a new parenting goal for Adama. He would be there for his son, even if it meant learning something new himself, communication.

Lee didn't change his expression, but spoke. "She told you?"

Adama sat next to Lee. "No. She said only that she did something you'd never forgive. Lee, what happened?"

He shook his head. "I can't... I can't understand it myself, much less talk about it. Please, dad. Don't ask." Lee wouldn't have known where to begin if he could. Did he boast to his father how he had rejected the love of his life after promising her he'd understand her secret? Did he share with his father how utterly ashamed and confused he was? He wondered why he kept putting himself in these situations. First he betrays his father and now Mali. Lords he wished he could go back and change that whole scene. Did he tell his father about his lost grandson?

When he was younger, Lee had wanted to be a perfect father only to prove to his father that it could be done. He had so much anger for his father back then. He resented the fact that his father always chose his career over his family. Lee had vowed never to put anything over his family. Lee wanted his children to feel securely loved and cherished by both parents. He never wanted them to feel like they had to conform to an image or be something they weren't to earn a father's attention.

Within a few months after he and Mali had consummated their relationship, they had a pregnancy scare. Circumstances prevented her from testing for a few days. For that weekend, Mali and Lee dreamed of their child. As they talked and planned, the reality of fatherhood hit Lee hard. On one hand, he feared it. His paternal goals were lofty. He was suddenly filled with doubt. On the other hand, he and Mali were thrilled with dreaming of their child. The 'question' became a child to them and they both knew they would grieve it if it didn't become life. Both had been disappointed when the truth arrived a week late. Now, he’d lost a second chance at fatherhood.

"Lee, you can't ask a father to see his son in such pain and ask him not to do anything about it." He smiled, trying to break into his son's pain. "It doesn't work that way."

Lee said nothing. Inside his mind, he screamed at his father that he’d never know that about being a father. His son was DEAD. Father and son sat in silence for a long time. Every couple of minutes, Lee would make a slight move and Adama hoped it would open him up. Each time he was disappointed. Lee then turned to him. “I don’t want to go back to Life Station.”

Adama smiled. “I can understand that. I wanted out of there too. I think as long as you take care of yourself, Cottle doesn’t expect you back.”

“I should go back to Pegasus.” His voice was flat, utterly devoid of expression.

“No, you aren’t even close to being returned to more than light duty. You’re not going anywhere.”

Lee’s face crunched. It was obvious from the tremble in his lip; he was struggling to control his emotions. Adama wondered for a moment where he had learned the tight control.

“I don’t want to be with the other pilots. I have nowhere to go.” Lee continued to muse.

“We’ll find you a room.” He knew the answer to the next suggestion, but he hoped Lee might laugh. “You could stay with me. It’d be fun.”

Lee did finally display a stunned expression. He fumbled for a response. “Uh.. Dad, no. I just want to be alone.”

Adama smiled. “I understand. Don’t worry. There are guest quarters you can use, or even one of the empty racks. There are pilot’s quarters that are empty. Whatever you want, you’ll get, son.”

Lee looked at his father for the first time. “Thanks.”

Adama didn’t like Lee’s look. He looked too tired and drained. He wondered if he could even walk. “Let’s have Doc take a look at you and then get you settled in.”

Lee allowed his father to guide him. As suspected, he was too weak to move very fast. The walk to Life Station was almost impossible. Adama wasn’t sure what was pushing Lee on. He was situated on a bed and waited for the doctor. “Dad?”

“Yes, Son?”

“Thanks for not pushing me. I just can’t… not yet.”

“I know. Just promise me you won’t hold it all in. I’m here for you. If you can’t talk to me, there are plenty of others who care about you.”

Lee lay back and shortly before he fell asleep, he mumbled, “sure.”

Cottle arrived back a few minutes later. Seeing Adama waiting by one of the beds, he went directly to him. He didn’t even wait for pleasantries. “She was gone.”

“Gone?” Adama asked.

“There was no sign of her. I checked with CIC and they reported she had just taken off on a shuttle for Pegasus.”

“Frak.” Adama’s loyalties were to his son, but he didn’t think Mali should be alone right now either.

“Where’d you find him?” Cottle ignored the curse.

“Doesn’t matter. He’s here now.” He quickly added. “He doesn’t want to stay. When he wakes, I promised him he could go to private quarters.”

“You get a medical degree now? I’ll decide where and when he goes and you’ll abide by that!”

Adama accepted his reprimand, but reaffirmed his position. “He’ll get what he needs most.”

“We’ll see.”

“Yes, we will Major.” Adama left. He reported to CIC wondering just what it was that had come between the two.

BSG…BSG…BSG

Two weeks had passed and no one mentioned the once happy couple on either ship. Mali had resumed medical treatments throughout the fleet. She pushed herself hard and took a great deal of the medical workload on her shoulders. Diana had pushed her to reveal what had happened. Mali recapped the main details for her. Diana thought for some time about what she could do to help the situation.

Lee continued to gain strength, but kept to himself for the most part. He still tired easily. Light duty would come soon, perhaps in another week. He’d still not confided the situation to anyone. He kept his secret locked up tight. Each night he lay in his rack, thinking the situation over and over. He tried to imagine being Mali. He wondered over and over if he could ever understand what had happened. Guilt attacked him from many fronts.

Kara spent every available moment on Galactica. She knew an opening when she saw it. Rebound with Lee was better then no Lee at all. She did her best to take his mind off his heartbreak. She brushed passed Mali once or twice on Pegasus, but they never spoke. Ying and Yang checked on Mali, but she never allowed them to spend time. It seemed Mali and Lee were doing their best to shut out the rest of the world.

Diana hadn’t left the Pegasus. Stepping onto the deck of the Galactica felt remotely disloyal. She asked several people and eventually found her way to Lee’s quarters. She knocked. “Captain?” She heard a grumble through the door and took it as permission to enter.

Lee saw Diana enter and groaned. “What do you want?” He didn’t like being rude and it had come out more so then he had wanted.

“Mali told me what happened… I was wondering if you were interested in more information?” She continued to stand in the frame.

“What could you possibly tell me?” His voice was dark and filled with pain.

“About the day your son was born?”

Lee was silent and finally waved her in. “I’m sorry. Please come in.”

She pulled a chair opposite him and considered his rough countenance. “You don’t look well, Captain.”

“I thought you were here to tell me about my son?”

“After… Well, when she was feeling better, Mali was a new woman. She was thrilled to be pregnant. She would constantly tap her belly and hum children’s tunes. She felt hope and it inspired us all.”

“So what happened?”

“She practically dragged herself into life station that night. Her water had broken. She knew it was way too early. We got her hooked up to a monitor and knew labor was too far advanced. Even if we had the drugs we needed, it was too late. Your son was impatient. He wanted to join us.” She was silent for a few moments to let her words settle. “The delivery was horrible. We didn’t have anyone to do an epidural. Mali was in agony. He was tiny, but it didn’t change the fact that her body still wasn’t ready for delivery. She begged me to take the baby, but I couldn’t Lee… I couldn’t cut her open…”

Lee gazed at Diana’s pain filled eyes. He was getting an idea there was far more to this story they he would ever understand. “I understand that.”

“She delivered him. He was so tiny. He looked perfect, except his lungs weren’t developed. He just couldn’t use oxygen well. He fought.” Diana stumbled over her words as she relived the experience. “Ben kept saying how stubborn he was, just like his parents. Mali was exhausted. She was barely awake, but we kept him as close to her as we could. She used all she had left to call to him, whisper her love and sing to him. She knew he’d never make it. Eventually, he just couldn’t draw in a breath.”

“And he died…” Lee finished.

“He died. Ben was holding him and Ying and Yang were holding Mali.” She paused again for absorption. She moved to her knees in front of the suffering man. “I know she told you about the pills… Captain, they didn’t cause your son to die. He just wasn’t ready… I’m sure of it. I didn’t do an autopsy but I’m sure if we did, it was prove that to you.”

“If we did?” Lee was overwhelmed. “You sound like we still could.”

She nodded. “Mali was so tired and so distraught… We never held a funeral.” She placed her hand on Lee’s knee. “Your son is still in Pegasus’s morgue.”

There was a part of Lee that wanted an autopsy. He needed to know that Mali’s actions hadn’t killed his son. At the same time, part of him knew he couldn’t ask that. It would be a sign of his lack of faith in her. Once he went there, there would be no going back. What would it change to know the answer?

Lee asked a few more questions and Diana left him to this new information. As she waited for her shuttle back, she prayed to the lords that she’d done the right thing coming there today. She’d never known Lee and Mali before the holocaust, but something inside her said they needed to be together.

“We’re ready now, Ma’am. Sorry about the delay.”

Diana looked up into the eyes of a desk chief. “Thank you, chief.”

He smiled. “I’m sorry if I startled you. You seemed lost in thought.”

“I was. I was thinking about a good friend.”

Tyrol nodded. “May I ask you a question?”

She looked at him, concerned. “Do I know you?”

He laughed. “No, but you work with Doctor Davis, right?” She nodded. “How is she? She hasn’t been around.”

She frowned. “Not much better, Chief. Not much better.”

He frowned now as well. “I’m sorry to hear that. He’s not much better either.”

Diana knew the chief was referring to Lee. It impressed her that he cared. “I came today to see if I could do anything.”

“Did it help?” He asked, genuinely interested.

“I don’t know.” She mused. “I hope so.”

“I do too.” He quickly added. “If there’s… If there’s anything I can help with…”

She smiled and thanked him. “By the way, my name’s Diana.”

He returned her smile. “Mine’s Galen. Nice to meet you.”

BSG…BSG…BSG

The afternoon before Lee was to return to light duty, to be served on Galactica, his father again found him sitting by the old, discarded Mark II viper. “Why did I figure I’d find you here.”

Lee flashed his father a small, brief smile. “Hey, dad.”

“Thinking again?” Adama assumed a position next to his son.

Lee smiled and his head dropped. “Isn’t that what I always do?”

“You ready to try talking?”

Lee laughed softly. “Are you ever gonna give up?”

“I don’t think so. I see my son, who loves a woman, hurting. I can imagine all sorts of things. It’s not good for me.”

Lee groaned. “So sorry. I… I just don’t even know how to begin.”

“The beginning is always best.”

“I’m not sure when the beginning is… I fraked up. Ben… Ben told her to tell me the truth. He told her I’d understand. I… I failed him too. Gods, I miss him.”

“So, Ben knew this big secret?”

Lee nodded.

“Whom are you more upset with? Yourself? Mali or Ben?”

Lee didn’t like that his father was reading his situation so well. “I accused her of killing Ben and…”

“Ouch.” Adama shifted. “That had to have hurt her. Who’s the and?”

Lee looked questioning at him.

“You said you accused her of killing Ben and… Who’s the ‘and’?”

“She… She lost a baby on Pegasus.” Lee’s hands shook a bit.

Adama was stunned. He’d almost been a grandfather. He longed to know more details, but didn’t want to push Lee. He’d lost a son and now Lee had as well. He couldn’t help but wonder if knowing his son had made any difference in the pain. “That had to be hard for her.”

Lee clenched his fists in repressed anger. “She tried to kill herself.”

“Whoa!” Adama couldn’t contain the surprise. “After the baby?”

“No. That’s why I accused her of killing the baby.” He paused. “She said she was lost after the attacks. When she found out she was pregnant, she lost it even more.” Lee laughed sickly. “She said she thought if she killed herself, we’d all be reunited in death and be a family.” Lee wiped at the tears that dripped down his cheeks. His body trembled more now. “Dad.” He looked his father in the eye. “I know she doesn’t think like that. I know she had to be out of it. She’d never think of hurting herself or our baby otherwise. I know that.”

Adama nodded. “Can you tell her that?”

Lee shook his head. “It’s too late. I said… I said awful things. The baby was born too early. She said he lived a few hours and died.” Tears freely flowed from the corners of his eyes now. “I didn’t even ask her his name. I don’t know my own son’s name. I mean, who did he look like? Did he cry? Did she hold him? Was she ok? I was so hurt, I just started hurtling accusations at her.”

Adama had tried to imagine a lot of scenarios that could have caused this break up. This hadn’t been close to any of them. He fumbled for advice to tell his son to make it better. “Sounds to me like your ready to talk to her.”

“I don’t deserve her. She needed me to listen and understand and I failed her.” He was back to his forlorn self.

Adama laughed. He bellowed with a hearty laugh straight from his gut. Lee looked at him stunned. “Don’t you see? She said the exact same thing to me the day she left. She said she didn’t deserve you and that she’d failed you.”

Lee was silent, considering his dad’s words. “You think she might really listen to me?”

“I think that with enough screaming and stubborn fighting, you two can get through this, yes!” He clapped his son on his back. “Let’s go place a call.”

Lee picked up the phone in his father’s office. His dad stepped out and waited. Lee held his breath until he heard her voice. “Mali? Please don’t hang up.”

“Lee?”

“Yeah. Um… How are you?” Lee asked nervously.

“Busy. How are you?” She responded politely.

“I’m cleared for light duty tomorrow.”

“That’s good.”

“Mali, I… I’m sorry. I didn’t react well. It was too much. I… I’m sorry. Can we talk? Please?”

She was quite for some time. “Lee, I don’t know.”

“Please Mali. I know I can’t ask you to forgive me, but I want… I need to talk. Please. I miss you.” He pleaded. “Can you come tonight?”

She was silent. Too scared to hope she might really be able to salvage her life with Lee. “Yes.”

Lee smiled. “That’s awesome. Can you come for dinner? We can eat in the room. Have some privacy to talk?”

“Sure. I’ll be there around 7pm.”

“Mali, thanks.”

“I’m glad you called.”

“Me too. See you tonight, my lady.”

He hung up and spun his father’s chair in a few circles. He felt better then he’d felt in weeks.

Pyramids*26

Mali was heading to the shuttle bay when the call from Colonial One came in. President Roslin was in extreme pain and Cottle was in surgery. Mali immediately redirected her shuttle. She had the pilot notify Galactica of her change of plans. He reassured her Captain Adama would be notified.

Petty Officer Dualla wrote out the message and looked around CIC for someone to deliver it. Just then, Kara Thrace buzzed through. “Lieutenant Thrace?”

Kara heard her name and came over. “Hey, Dee. How’s life? Miss me?”

Dee smiled. “Of course. Hey, are you going to see Apollo?”

Kara smiled. “As a matter of fact I am here to do just that. I’m hoping to win some of his money tonight.”

Dee laughed. “Well, then you’ll find this note good news. Doctor Davis’s shuttle was delayed. You have extra time to win the money before she arrives.” She sighed and then added. “This is such great news.”

Kara sobered, but faked a smile. “Doc is coming over tonight?”

Dee beamed. “Yeah, isn’t it great?”

“Sure.” She grabbed the note from Dee and stuffed it in her pocket. “See ya!”

Starbuck met up with Lee in the quarters he’d been using. “Hey! Up for a hot game of cards tonight?”

Lee smiled, but shook his head. “Sorry, Mali’s coming over tonight. We need to talk.”

Starbuck forgot the note in her pocket. “When’s she due to arrive?”

“Within the hour.” He was setting a table.

“Getting fancy tonight, huh?” She picked up the linen napkin.

“I owe her.” He grabbed the napkin and righted it.

“Mind if I hang around until she gets here?”

He flashed her one of his trademark grins, “not at all.”

Lee poured them each a glass of ambrosia. He raised his and tipped it toward Kara. “To good friends. Thanks for sticking with me, Kara. I know I’ve been hard to be around lately.”

She smiled and accepted his toast. She slammed her drink and challenged him to do the same. He did as well and she poured them each another. She chuckled when he drank it quickly again. "Nervous?"

"Gods, yes! I blew it last time. I don't want to make that mistake again."

Several hours later, Lee was lost in drunken despair. Mali hadn’t shown up. Kara tried to ease his pain, but he was lost and drunk. “Kara… She said she’d come…” His words were slurred.

“She lied Lee. She must have changed her mind.” Kara was drunk as well. “I told you she was no good for you.”

He looked at her. “Yeah, you did.” He got a drunken gleam in his eye. “Who is good for me, Kara?”

She responded to his question by pulling him close and kissing him deeply. “I am.” She whispered as she pulled back. “Remember, you said you loved me?”

He grabbed her forcefully, venting his disappointment. “Are you? Are you woman enough for me? When I said that, I meant... now…” He kissed her hard, bruising her lips.

She responded in kind and soon clothes were flying. “Lee, I’ve wanted you for so long…”

“You’re gonna have me, all of me.” To emphasize his point, he thrust against her. She cried out in pleasure. “You like that? Is that what you want?”

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” She moaned.

He replied in kind. They kissed and groped and lost control over anything but their immediate need for release.

Mali ran through the halls of Galactica. She’d administered a pain medication for the President, but stayed to be sure there were no adverse reactions. The election was taking a toll on the President. Mali and Cottle had discussed her recent deterioration. Even as the President drifted off to sleep, she pleaded for Mali’s forgiveness. She continued to insist she hadn’t arranged for the press incident. Now, as Mali finally neared Lee’s room, her excitement grew. She loved Lee. She knew it. She wanted to do whatever was necessary to make things right.

She opened the door and stared dumbstruck. On the bed were Lee and Kara in the throws of passion. Her world collapsed. He’d lied to her. This was obviously his sick way of hurting her. The two still hadn’t noticed her arrival. She stared down at her hand and pulled the engagement ring from her finger. She placed it on the plate nearest her and added the small gift she’d brought for him. She backed out of the room.

She ran again through the halls, this time vowing never to return to the ship again. When she finally reached the shuttle, her face was wet from tears. She ran to her shuttle and found it empty. She quickly scanned for the pilot who had flown her over. He was nowhere to be seen. She wanted nothing but escape from this nightmare. She climbed into the shuttle anyway and buried herself deep in the back. Someone would eventually come and could then fly her home.

“Ah, Doctor Davis?” Chief Tyrol stuck his head through the hatchway. “Can I help you?”

She wiped at her tears with the back of her hand. “I… uh, need a shuttle back to Pegasus. I thought I’d wait for my pilot to return.”

Tyrol tried to ignore her state. Everyone on the ship seemed to know when the two had broken up and the gossip lines had buzzed when she returned today. He could tell it hadn’t gone well. He was no stranger to heart break. “I’m sorry, Ma’am. Your pilot assumed you were spending the night. He left.”

Her voice was filled with anguish. “What? No, Chief I need to get off this ship.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Can you call me another pilot, please?”

He nodded. “It may be a few minutes. Why don’t you come sit in my office? No one will bother you there.”

She looked at him for several seconds before nodding. He offered his arm and she accepted his help as she stepped over the threshold down the ramp. He guided her to his seldom-used office. He laughed nervously. “Sorry about this. It’s small, but it’s private.”

Mali blushed. “You must think I’m a fool. I’m sorry to be a pain.”

He shook his head. “I think that something didn’t go right tonight and you’re hurting. I understand that.”

She knew it was true. From what she had heard, Galen Tyrol could understand the pain she felt at this moment. “Thank you.”

He blushed now. “I’ll go get your pilot.”

BSG…BSG…BSG

Lee woke and groaned, definitely hung over. The only thing remotely pleasant about the experience was the warm body he felt behind him. He rubbed his eyes and rolled over, expecting to find the long reddish blond curls he loved. Instead the large, still drunk eyes of Kara Thrace met him. He sprang from the bed. “LORDS KARA! What the FRAK are you doin…” He suddenly remembered. “Oh Lords, no. NO!” He reprimanded himself. “What have I done??? Oh lords, NO.” He grabbed his clothes and dressed, muttering to himself the whole time.

Kara wrapped the blanket around herself, not wanting to make the situation worse. She knew this was big trouble. “It’s all right, Lee. She doesn’t have to know. We won’t tell her. We were drunk.” She watched him, worried. He stared at the table.

“It’s too late.” He turned to her and held up the ring and gift. “She knows.”

Kara had never seen such pain in his eyes. It bothered her. She knew she’d been the cause of it. “It’ll be ok, Lee. I’ll explain it to her. She’ll understand.”

Lee bent over retrieving Kara’s uniform pants and threw them to her. “Get dressed.” As he released the pants, a paper fell out of the pocket.

Kara suddenly remembered it. She froze, praying he wouldn’t open it. He picked it up and walked it over to her. He was about to release it to her outspread hand, when he saw the look of fear in her eyes. He had no idea what compelled him to do it, but he opened the note and read its message.

Before she could move, his hand slapped her cheek hard. “You BITCH! How could you?”

“Lee… Please… You have to listen…” It was too late. He was out the door.

She ran after him. She made it a few steps out when she realized she was still wrapped in the blanket. She returned to the room hastily and donned her clothes.

BSG…BSG…BSG

Admiral Cain wasn’t happy to see him sitting, yet again, in her office. “Mr. Zarek, while there is a part of me that is always happy to see you, this is becoming a habit we can ill afford.” She smiled. “At least until after you’ve been elected President.”

He returned her smile. “I just wanted to see you.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. “I’ve missed you.”

She pulled back. “The feeling may be mutual, but it is a bit early to risk these frequent meetings. That incident with Hanson didn’t help you any.”

“I’ve told you a million times, as well as the press. I had no idea Hanson would take suck drastic and deadly steps. I was as shocked as everyone else.”

She smiled. “Sure you were.” She pulled him in this time. She grabbed his face and held it between her hands. “Don’t frak with me. We need each other. The fleet needs us.”

Zarek smiled. “It’s nice to know you understand the relationship.”

She ran her hands up and down his back. “Oh, I understand. I understand.”

BSG…BSG…BSG

Lee ran to the flight deck. He was winded when he arrived. He had to lean against a wall for support. From the corner of his eye, he saw the chief. He took a deep breath and called to him. “Chief?”

Galen Tyrol heard the Captain. He’d seen his arrival, but he opted to ignore him. He figured the Captain had done something to hurt the doctor last night and he was in no mood to treat him well. He was reminded of his first impression of the man. He thought he’d been proved wrong, perhaps he hadn’t. The captain called him again. He wasn’t willing to risk a reprimand. He strolled over to him. “Sir? Did you need me?”

Lee still took deep breaths. “Last night, did Doctor Davis leave the ship?” Lee prayed she’d been forced to stay.

“Yes, late last night. I personally got her a shuttle. She seemed upset. I got her home as soon as possible.” He felt like he was challenging the Captain, but didn’t know to what.

“Frak!” Lee cursed several more times.

Tyrol was almost moved. The captain did seem relatively upset. “She was pretty upset.”

“I KNOW THAT!” Lee regained control of his temper. “Why do you think I’m here?”

“You’re too late.”

Lee pounded his head on the wall and muttered. “I know. I know.”

BSG…BSG…BSG

Mali reported to Life station at her normal time. It was obvious to all the medical workers that she hadn’t slept. Diana rushed to her side. “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be on Galactica.”

Mali’s lip trembled, but she said nothing. Diana knew it wasn’t good. “What did he do?”

Mali still said nothing and tears welled in the corners of her eyes. The concerned friend grabbed the distraught woman’s arm and pulled her into her office. “Mali, tell me what happened.”

Mali relayed her story. Both women cried. It was too much to believe. They were equally numb.