Title: Superheroes
Author: Ali Cherry
Summary:
Disclaimer:


Superheroes


"You see, you're not allowed to have a relationship. It's right here in the superhero handbook. Regulation 199 subsection 3c. 'Superheroes are not allowed to have relationships with their sidekicks.'" An old distinguish man waved a gnarled hand over a thick book. Harm and Mac bent over to read the small print.

"But Mac isn't a sidekick. She's my partner. Like Lois Lane to Clark Kent."

"Yes, but have you ever seen Lois and Clark kiss? I think not."

"What?" Mac looked ready to hit the old man.

"What about Jean and Cyclops on X-men?" Harm asked hopefully.

"They aren't partners or sidekicks."

"But everyone wants this. WE want this, right Ninja Girl?"

"Yeah. What about free will? What about hormones? What about giving the crowd what they want?" Mac asked, her voice deep with emotion.

"We tried that once. Look what we got; Superman as an energy being. And that hoodlum, Kyle Rainer as Green Lantern." The distinguished man took off his glasses and shook his head. "I'm afraid if you want to continue being Flyboy and Ninja Girl, you won't be able to sleep together."

"But Batman and Robin." Harm whined.

"Those are unsubstantiated rumors. There is no evidence back it up."

"Oh get off your high horse. Everyone can tell from that rubber fetish they have." Mac said.

"There's has got to be a loop hole." Harm groused.

"Not that I'm aware of. Or it would have been closed up."

"We're lawyers. We can find it."

"Let's get to it partner."

Two days later.

"I found it Harm!" Mac knocked Harm with her elbow waking him up.

"Where? The last page?"

"No on the first. Listen to this, 'these rules only apply to superheroes immortalized in Comic books.'"

Harm sat up, energized. "We're on TV! Yes! We don't have to follow the old fart's rules!"

"HAPPY!!! HAPPY!!! JOY!! JOY!!!"

"You thinking what I'm thinking Ninja Girl?"

"I'm thinking Smut time. You?"

"Oh yeah!"

"HOLD IT!" Harm and Mac stopped in the middle of their impromptu striptease at the godlike voice that resonated in the room. They turned to see a young woman walk forward.

"Who are you?" Harm asked his pants bunched around his knees.

"I'm the guardian of the rules of television. I'm afraid that according to my rulebook, Colonel Mackenzie, you'll have to put your uniform on."

"No offense, but I like the old Fart better."

"Everybody does. Now as you can see here in regulation 995 subsection 65 z, Partners displaying UST, that's Unresolved Sexual Tension, are unable to resolve said UST until the last season of the show. May I cite as an example Mulder and Scully of the X-Files?"

"But we've already kissed!"

"That's covered here." The book slammed to the back. "See regulation 6544 section 2, 'Kissing is authorized as long as it's a way to say goodbye to a dead girlfriend/lover/friend.'"

"You're joking." Mac leaned over the book, to read the even smaller fine print.

"I'm sorry, but these rules are in place for a very good reason. Don't make me give you examples. They're too scary."

"We're in the military, we can handle anything. Right Flyboy?"

"Right."

"Okay. Moonlighting." Harm and Mac recoiled in horror.

"We survived. Is that the best you can give us?"

"Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman."

"Oh GOD! The Horror." Harm fell to the floor clutching his heart. Mac tumbled next to him.

"Harm. It hurt so much."

"I'm sorry, Ninja Girl."

"There has got to be an exception." Mac wheezed.

"Not that I'm aware of, but you're welcome to look." The woman looked up from where she was carefully filing her nails.

"We can do this, we are partners." Harm stated emphatically.

"Yeah!"

"BUD! I'm gonna need some research!"

THE END