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  Title: Tape from Beyond
Author: Ali Cherry
Summary:
Disclaimer:

Me, I'm weird. Ghosts of Christmas Past inspired me, just not like anyone else. There are very minor spoilers up until this ep. And I mention Jenny, but nothing major, so have no fear, those who haven't seen this ep. Yet. Trust me you want to see this.



Tape from Beyond


Mac opened the door to Harm's apartment, noting the darkened area. Harm must not be home yet, she thought as she flipped the switch for the lights. Mac dropped her briefcase on the counter and headed for the stereo on the far wall. She started sorting through the different tapes, looking for the interview from Commander Douglas. She picked up a stack and looked at the labels. Little AJ Roberts, Lt. Bud and Harriet Roberts, Admiral AJ Cheggwidden, Frank and Patricia Burnett, and Colonel Sarah Mackenzie. Mac stopped at the one with her name labeled on it. What the hell is this?

She looked at the door and popped the tape into tape deck and rewound it. The taped made the stagnant sound of stopping. Mac regarded the door again. I'll just play the first part see what this is. She pressed the play button, feeling like she was reading Harm's diary.

"Hey Mac." Harm's voice drifted over the quiet room. Mac jumped and looked toward the closed door. He wasn't here, but his voice was. "You're probably wondering what this tape is about. I'm not exactly sure myself. When I went on the carrier I decided to leave letter tapes instead of the normal letters if something were to happen to me. I'm not very original, am I? Did you know it was my mom's idea, those tapes of my fathers? I didn't know that til I went through his things a month ago, after I met Jenny Lake at the memorial. Tell me I've already told you that story. I hope I have."

Mac nodded her head to the tape, not willing to break his monologue. It's not like you could anyway, idiot.

"I just, well I wanted everyone to have a piece of me, even if it was just my voice on a tape. I taped over the others, except for little AJ's. I thought it'd be funny if I lived to be ninety, I could tell him I was thinking the same thing at his age."

Mac chuckled with Harm on the tape.

"So here you go, Ninja Girl." Harm's voice softened. "No matter where I am, or where I've been, I will always count your friendship as one of the most precious gifts I was ever given. I can't imagine my life now, if you weren't in it, Lt. Colonel Mackenzie. Your stupid jokes that always made me laugh, your eyes when you cried because I was going back to flying, your smile when you kicked some terrorist ass. The way you whistled when you were winning a case. I've treasured these moments with you and I've placed them in my heart. Sappy, huh?"

Mac sighed and wiped away the tear that traveled down her cheek.

"I don't know what we have here, Mac. Sometimes I see you as my kid sister, other times, I want to pull you in my arms and never let you go, and other times I want to take the punching bag away and just spare with you. One on one. I have a feeling you'd win. You know all my weakness, Marine, but you 've never used them against me. Well I'm forgiving that trip off the wagon." Harm laughed.

"Jenny told me my dad feared POW camps. Others say they fear death. I can honestly say I fear neither. I have loved and been loved, that is all I can ever ask for. I can face my death with dignity. And I don't fear a Camp because I have my memories, of you and Bud and Harriet and baby AJ, everyone."

Mac sniffled harder, tears running down her cheeks.

"Mac, I want you to hear this from me. I know you've probably read this in my will, and I hope that they performed this at my funeral, but I want you to have my wings. Don't turn your nose up at them, Marine. Navy wings are made of Gold."

"In your dreams hotshot." Mac laughed at the tape player.

"I want you to have them, because you let me fly. You didn't like it, but you let me go. That meant more to me than actually flying, someone understanding my need to fly. No one else got it, even if the Admiral pulled some strings to get me there quicker." There was a pause on the tape.

"When I came back, I was happy to be with my friends, and I was glad to see you. E-mail and Voice chats just aren't the same, you know. I'm.glad that you challenged me; that you didn't let me slide back into my place. But now, as of the making of this tape, I'd just wish that you'd accept me as I have become. Older, more mature, a little less secure. I know you weren't there, but I came to Jag with all the cockiness of a young fighter pilot. I know you think I'm bad, but I was a lot worse if you can picture that."

Mac smiled. "I find that very hard to believe, Flyboy."

"Over the years, I've matured. It wasn't the winning or the losing; it was the gray area's in between that changed me. Colonel Farrow, for example, or that Seal you were defending. The one whose bullet killed his best friend. That's what changed me. You and Bud and Harriet. Hell even Clayton Webb and Bobby Latham have changed me."

"I don't know exactly what I feel towards you, but I know this. I love you, Mac for being my best friend, for being my worst enemy, for being my partner. If no one else loves you in your life, remember that I have and always will."

"Live and Love well, Mac. I'll miss you. Harmon Rabb, Jr."

Mac went to turn off the tape. Her finger paused on the button though as his voice filtered over the room again.

"PS I don't know if you want to hear it, but there's a song I sung for you on the back side of this tape, and if you're worried about our deal, the one about five years from now? There's some sperm on hold for you at the Georgetown Sperm Bank. For your ova only."

Mac smiled at the joke.

"I love you, Ninja Girl."

Mac hit the stop button as the door opened revealing a wet Harm.

"Hey Mac. I hope you don't mind? I stopped and picked up a pizza." Harm took off his cover and jacket, balancing the pizza with the other hand. He looked over at the silent Mac. "Are you all right? Did you find the interview, all right?"

Mac just shook her head.

"I could've sworn I left it right there." Harm set the pizza down and walked towards the stereo and Mac. As he got closer, he noticed the tear stains trickling down her cheeks. "Mac what's wrong?"

Mac ejected the tape and showed him the label. He froze for a moment. Then he took the tape and put it back in its cover, shuffling things around as he looked for the Interview cassette.

"Here it is. I must have left it in the stereo by mistake." Harm said as he popped it out of the second tape deck. He still wouldn't look Mac in the eye. She touched his arm, and stilled his movements. She reached up and hugged him, letting her sobs be soaked up by his shirt, his arms holding her, making her feel safe and loved.

"I'm sorry, Mac. You weren't supposed to hear that." Harm said as he gently stroked her hair.

"I'm glad I did." Mac blubbered into his shoulder. "Please, just don't make me listen to another one again."

"I'll try not to." Harm bent his head down and buried his face in her hair. "Are you ready to start working now?"

Mac shook her head. "If you don't mind, I'd just like to stay here like this for a few more moments."

"I don't mind, Mac." Harm said as he cradled her against him, rocking their bodies slightly.

The End