He climbed the stairs to his apartment. She must be crazy he thought. She actually cried when he told her he was leaving. Even he had teared up. They were both crazy. They weren't supposed to cry. They were supposed to shake hands, hug quickly, and promise to try and write. They had messed up royally. They hadn't shaken hands, the hug had been lingering and they had cried. What a mess. Unlocking the door he dropped the box he was carrying. Pushing the door open he kicked the box inside. He wouldn't have an office on the Patrick Henry. He would be a 35 year old man living in a cubby hole and sleeping on a shelf.

Good God, he already missed her and he had only driven across town. Throwing himself down on the couch he closed his eyes and ignored the tears that slid down his face. When she asked if she could water his plants while he was gone he should have agreed. Who the hell cared if that meant he had to go buy houseplants. The tears dried on his face making him feel tired and old. When he made the decision to return to flight status he had only considered his own happiness. At this moment he was more unhappy than he could have ever believed he would have been.

He woke slowly. It was dark out now. He wasn't sure exactly how long he had been asleep. He pulled himself off the couch, went to the kitchen, and began digging around in the refrigerator looking for something to eat. The day had drained him and now he was starving. He found some leftovers from the other night when Jordan had cooked. Jordan. She had refused to speak to him for some time now. She was a shrink in need of a shrink. She needed someone to listen to her rant about him and what he was doing to her. True, he had never really thought about what his status change might to do her. He had just assumed that she would be happy for him and willing to work it out. He needed to quit trying to figure the women in his life out. It was a task that he was notoriously bad at.

Saying good bye to Mac had been harder than his parting with Jordan. Mac was his best friend. She had stayed with him when he felt he was so close to finding out what had happened to his father. She was always looking out for him. She had been with him at the toughest times. What did he really know about her? He was constantly spilling his guts but she kept everything well hidden. What were they the Mulder and Scully of JAG? They weren't a TV show they were two people trying to figure out what they really to were to one another. He was willing to bet that even from her office in JAG HQ she would manage to take care of him. Maybe he had been entertaining an angel unaware all this time. Now he had to prepare to be without her.

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