Timeline: Mac has moved the ring to the other side of her finger, but she hasn't set a wedding date yet. So Bugme and the Video Princess are here.

How much do I love this story? I LOVE THIS STORY! This is one kick-ass story, folks. If you don't read any JAG fic this year, read this. Seriously. It's short, it's sweet, and GOD, it paints the characters in a real way. At times, they can be a little two-diminsional up close, but in wider scope they act exactly as they would on the show. This is a shipper's dream and a shipper's nightmare. I have actually subtitled this "WORSE CASE SCENARIO" in my head.

Gee Gads, it's good. I read this four or five times before I even sat down to actually write the review. My goodness, I lurve it. Okay, okay, I know, I like odd things (as a shipper, I am rather masochistic, but I believe that we all are) but this . . . this is just a fresh approach. I was very excited.

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I've lost myself and he wants me to set a damned wedding date.
The line above is rockin'. This sets the tone of the piece as one of despondence. It has a sort of poetic feel to it. The narrator (Mac) is really trying to show us how dangerously close she is to everything and how far away she is from everything. The author shows how Mac really is trying to push the wedding out of her mind.

I just stare at it [the phone]. If I look close enough I can almost see it move with every nerve-jangling ring.
That's depressing. I've done that before. Except, well, it was Stalker-Boy calling. Still, I understand how Mac wouldn't answer it. She didn't want to talk to Harm, and she wasn't quite composed, and she was sitting in her office to top it all off.

"I'm not feeling so good."
I hate this sentence. The author uses it twice and to me it screams, 'OKIE TALKIN' HERE!' It's one step away from 'I don't feel so good.' That so totally reminds me of Diana Berry's little country girl saying as she gripped her stomach after Anne got her drunk. I'm sorry, but that is wrong grammar and it grated on me. 'Very well' would have worked much better. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but this is something my Napa-Valley born and raised okie-kid would say. She also says 'wash' as 'worsh' and 'monticello road' as 'mawn-ta-sell-lo road.' And she tells my sister, "You did real good, Kate," when Katie has done something exceptionally well.

"Do you happen to know when he'll [Mic] be back?"

"If I were a betting man? Never."
I like that little bit of talk from Mac. It's completely in-character (bitter; sarcastic) for Mac. The line comes out of no where and hits Harm like a sledge-hammer. If he hadn't have been shocked, I'm sure he would have chuckled. Of course, though, he was shocked.

I look around the living room for what feels like the billionth time today. I never realized how much I loved having someone else here to talk to all the time. Originally I had almost resented his constant presence in my life. I couldn't turn around but what he was there. Right at my shoulder offering to help or just being. Now, now that he's gone I realize how much I had grown to need him there. Do I need him or just someone? Maybe I would have been emotionally safer to simply find a roommate.
Wow. This was a great paragraph. We do have to question these things and it is a great author that really brings up the questions before the reader thinks them through completely. Actually, I'm pretty certain that this is something that all of us were asking when Mac and Mic were together. *Why?* And, of course, the roommate bit was just funny.

"Renee and I are getting married."
I think my whole entire world just dropped out from beneath me and I'm pretty sure that Loren Singer is probably carrying Elvis's baby is Harm is marrying Renee. Sniffle-girl Karen here! ::sniffles::

I thoughtlessly kick it away. I can't move.
Those two sentences do *not* belong together.


Tuesday
April 12, 2005
Two-thousand five. So it's four years later. And I checked the date. It is a Tuesday! And on that prior Monday (the fourth) I will have turned eighteen. Wow. That makes me feel depressed. I want to go to Never-Never Land.

"God's nightgown,"
Catherine Called Birdy by Karen Cushman (all the years I had a crush on Zach Buschman were just waiting for that I know) had the main character have a brother who told her that all the king's men swore by a piece of God. I believe Edward's was "God's Thumbs" but that may have been Birdy's.

"I married the wrong woman."

No 'hello.' No 'how's it going.' Not even a 'sorry I woke you.' I can feel my jaw just hanging there.
You and me, BOTH. Number one -- four years later, and he's not married to Mac and obviously he's married to Renee. THAT IS SO ANTI-SHIPPER, YOU BRAT!

. . . trip over a random dog toy.
How the hell old is Jingo? DAYUM. That's one long-lived dog, hon! I thought the dog was basically on death's door now. Good to see the poor thing has reached senility with Mac.

"It was you. I should have married you."

"It's a little late to be realizing that isn't it?"

"I guess."

"You guess," I ask incredulously, "Harm, your *wife* is in the hospital this very moment because, just hours ago, she gave birth to your daughter. And here you are trying to tell me that you made a mistake. I'd say so. Just about the biggest mistake I've seen in recent years."
::Karen opens mouth, closes it. Opens mouth, closes it.:: A kid. He's got a kid? Does anybody worry about how fierce that poor girl is going to look? Let's hope she takes after the Rabbs and not the Petersons, because, dear goodness, Renee is homely.

Suddenly his mouth is on mine. My mind screams that I need to pull away, to make a show of indignation. Instead I wrap my hands around the back of his head and pull myself closer. I need to feel his body next to mine. I need to know he's real. I need show him that I never stopped loving him. After an eternity we pull apart.

"Helena."

"What?"

"My daughter's name is Helena. It means 'sun ray.'"

I lay back onto the floor. "That's a beautiful name."

He lays his head on my chest and splays his hand across the lower half of my stomach. "She's beautiful, Mac. You have to see her."

"I will. Renee will bring her in to show her off one day soon." His hand makes slow paths between the buttons on my top while my fingers trail around his hairline and down his neck.
I'm loving this. They're makin' with the foreplay while talking about his newborn. Does anybody else like this and think how terribly real it is? What else are they going to talk about? And with Harm and Mac, you don't want open secrets. So they're talking while about to . . . I find the irony very sweet.

"I can't leave her now, Mac."

"Did you hear me tell you that you needed to do that?"

"No."

"And who am I to ask you to do so?"

He raises tortured blue eyes to look at me, "You're the woman I love."

"Hand me that robe on the floor." He hands me the robe and I slip it on and step out of the shower. I kneel in front of him and rest my arms on his knees. "Harm, you have a daughter to think of now. Even if you aren't going to think about Renee, you have to think about Helena. I will never ask you to give her, or anything else, up for me. To ask you to put away the things you love would change the man you are and it's the man you are that I've always loved."

This is a very beautiful scene here. If I didn't know better, I would say that our dear author has engaged in an affair herself. Of course, with the newborn factor and all of the other odd things about Harm and Mac, we know that there is very little possibility of this. But, goodness, I LOVE this.

His thrusts not only push him deeper in my body but also into my soul and spirit.
That's sweet. And when she described the kiss she didn't go into great detail, so I'm happy (I am grossed out by detailed kissing-ness . . .I don't know why).

When Renee returns she'll find everything much like she left it except her husband and daughter will be gone. In their place there will be only a sheet of paper explaining that they're okay and that Harm will bring Helena over on Thursday and pick her up on the following Monday.
I feel sorry for Renee. She never had a chance.

"Did you get the papers I sent over?"

"Yes, I did. I'm not mentioned anywhere am I?"

"No."

I breathe a sigh of relief.
::nods:: They're speaking about the divorce papers that Renee had drawn up. AGAIN, I feel sorry for Renee and I think that she showed real class there. Do we have a video princess sympathiser on our hands? Because I'm one right here!

What didn't I like?
This was rushed. Really so. Like I said before, you can see the characters doing similar things on the show . . . but it's like they're working without expressions. Why did Mac and Harm really start the affair in the first place? How did it affect his relationship, really, with Renee? And what about Helena? Mac was pretty comfy with her, and I know that, yeah, best friend and all, but he still worked his young daughter into an illustrious relationship? Also, there is very little said about divorce and custody battles. Harm was just going to *leave* Renee and take their child? What made Harm think he had any more right to have custody of Helena than Renee? After all, *he* was having the affair, not Renee. Grammatical mistakes were to a bare bare bare minimum . . . in fact, she prolly had much less than I do on a regular basis. And what about the fact that, as officers, they could be facing real punishment for the adultry? Also, the ending scene was a bit confusing. Could have been a wedding, could have been a really weird Christmas ceremony. I think the former.

What did I like?
The story, taken as a whole! I lurved it! It was *so* the characters. I mean, I would *hate* for this to happen on the show, don't get me wrong. I think it would be terrible and sad and all that. But, gosh, it made a great fic. I so totally recommend this thing, damnit. The whole frantic love that Harm and Mac share -- had shared all along -- and the breathtaking smut (it isn't bad, Bree!) really do surround you and hug you and make you go, "Whoa." I love how Mac is there with the child ALL through the affair. It is SNEAKY and, I think, wrong. But, God help me, I thought it PERFECT. Come on . . . bringing your child to the park with your mistress. Even if it *is* just Aunt Mac . . . ::sighs:: Read it!