I have determined there to be three kinds of Love in this world. Well, four, if you count a score of zero in tennis, but that's not what I'm talking about. The phrases I love my job, I love my family, and I love my mate all mean different kinds of love. Material Love is showing personal preference for an object, idea, place, type of person, etc. over others things in the same category. For example, I love to play Magic: the Gathering. I prefer this card game over others because playing it entertains me so. I love chubby guys. I see them collectively as a more attractive category of males. Paternal Love for your family and friends is an unselfish, loyal, and benevolent concern for them. You share interests, spend time together, and are there for each other in times of hardship. Granted, not ALL friends and family share this relationship, but that is the basis for this particular kind of love. Note that there may be sexual desire present, and in the case of family, it would hopefully not be acted upon. Many more lovers fling I-Love-Yous around than friends, because the word love is more closely associated with sexual desire than fellowship. I do tell my close friends I love them, and they all know what I mean. True Love is when a friend is more than a friend. When one person meets another and they develop a relationship so deeply that they would become incomplete if they were ever separated. This can happen to anyone, given time, and I personally believe it is selfish to think that true love can only happen between a male and a female. I cannot give examples of this kind of love from personal experience, seeing as I never have. I do know you can be a complete person without ever being in love. Like I said, true love happens over time. It takes a while for two souls to become so ingrained that they need each other to survive. It does start out small and grows with nurturing and care. Neglected, by either party, it will die. And, as I've been told, when it's true love, you'll know. Now falling in love...that's a whole nother story. And no one said it was easy. Falling in love is one of the most pleasurable and simultaneously frightening experiences one can have. After all, you ARE making yourself extremely vulnerable, practically handing your heart over to someone. In a way, falling in love is an act of surrendering. You are giving into your feelings and letting things happen. You are essentially giving up any control you have, risking the outcome. You let the person in, share things you wouldn't tell your best friend, meet the family, etc., all the while risking that it might not work out. On second thought, falling love sounds terrifying. So how do we make that leap of faith? What helps us get over our fears, insecurities, and doubts? In a world that can treat love as disposable as a daily newspaper, what could possibly make us risk rejection? I propose that it's not a choice. Falling in love is not a choice. It just is. Hear me out. We can think we are jaded all we want, but when real, true love walks in, we don't have a choice. You can't predict when it will happen, but you'll know it when it does. Sure, you can resist it, but why bother? The thing is, if you find someone whom you really connect with, YOU ARE LUCKY. Who are you to dismiss love? Cherish it! People talk about "connecting" all the time, but what does that actually mean? It means that not only do you share similar interests, talk for hours and beg for more, have crazy hot chemistry, but also that your heart has found its best friend. Your soul has been reunited with its twin. You don't have a choice in something like that. IT JUST IS. It's immediately thinking of the person when you wake up in the morning. It's thinking of them throughout the day and wanting them to know it. It's that they are the first person you think of to share great news or mundane trivialities with. It's your best friend in and out of the sack. And if you have someone like that, you are lucky, lucky, lucky. When you actually meet someone with whom you have an inexplicable "connection," you will not have a choice whether to love. Your carefully guarded heart won't stand a chance because you will rise to the occasion (no pun intended - I know where your minds went!) without you even realizing it. You will do whatever you can to keep that person. Match. Set. Game. No choice. It just is. But we must beware. Love is not always reciprocated. There's always the chance that the bungee cord will snap, especially if it's not strapped on properly. Love is an investment, so we should weigh the risks and prepare ourselves in case of failure. Nothing is guaranteed, no matter how suave, cute, or confident we are. It's important to remember to not stay bitter or resentful toward a failed love interest. If they will tell us, and if we want to know (which is a good idea) ask the other party why there was no sparks on their end. We might not like the answer or even find it a poor excuse, but that information can help us identify our own flaws that we may try other thing and perhaps 'get it right' the next time. We all know the old saying: It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. So let's get out there and love, and lose, and get right back up and love again!