Chapter One: The Deal

My life was over. I lied in the dark, sprawled out on the futon in my tiny studio apartment lit only by a single flickering candle. The music that I had always played to help me relax gave me no comfort. The company I had worked for was so corrupt; I had actually been fired for being too honest to the customers. With bills past due and my health failing, I was at the end of my rope. Even my handful of friends were too busy to console me. No, I wouldn’t be too proud to come crawling back to my parents yet again, but I didn’t want that. I wanted to be able to do things for myself. However, every time I got something good going for me, shit had to happen to ruin it.
“Are you done fucking with me yet, God?” I yelled up at the textured ceiling, then down at the dusty hardwood floor, “How about you Satan? What’s next for poor old Mary, huh? Breast cancer? Or something simple like I get robbed?” I sobbed for a moment, as if I expected a reply, “Well fuck you, God! You gave humans the ability to make their own decisions, so why can’t I? Look at me! It was not my choice to be like this! I’ll be the best I can be if only you’d give me the power!” Just then, God showed up. Though I expected my door to fly open and a chill breeze to blow out my candle, all I heard was a knock at the door. The air seemed to be electrified as my arm hairs stood on end and my robe crackled with static while I put it on to answer the door. There stood two men, one in a white suit, one in a black suit. “Lemme guess,” I sighed wearily as I pointed at the two guys, “You’re God and you’re Satan, right?”
“Neither,” the man in white said as they both smiled, “But we do represent the aforementioned parties.”
“May we come in?” the man in black asked politely.
“Sure,” I shrugged, then stepped back a swung my arm weakly as a welcoming gesture, “Should I even bother to turn the light on?”
“No need,” the man in white said as he and the other guy entered. I shut and instinctively locked the door behind them. Before I could ask what they wanted, the man in white held up something covered with a cloth while the man in black pulled the cloth off. Revealed was a brilliant white skull that lit up the room.
“My name is Braxlin, and this is my associate, Raziel,” the man in black spoke, “We have a proposition for you.”
“Of course you would,” I lifted an eyebrow at the obviously fake glowing skull, “You want me to sell you my soul and then you’ll fix all my problems, right? Well, I may be desperate, but I’m not hopeless, so no thanks.”
“One moment, please,” Braxlin held out his arm as I tried to walk around them, “We don’t want to take your soul, we want to save it.”
“Oh geez,” I rolled my eyes, “Is this going to be some kind of ‘don’t lose faith’ speech? Because I’m really not in the mood to discuss religion.” As I put my hand on his arm to push it aside, an image flashed before my eyes. Braxlin was replaced by a saintly, ebon-winged angel, accompanied by the smell of winter and sounds of people gasping for air. He dropped his arm when I recoiled and stepped back.
“Wouldn’t you like to have a definite purpose in life, along with the ability to fulfil it?” Raziel asked as if it were a rhetorical question, “What’s more, wouldn’t you like that purpose to be appointed to you by God, Himself?”
I looked suspiciously at both of them, “If you’re thinking of Immaculate Conception, you’re barking up the wrong bush. I’m not gonna be the second Mother Mary, and I hate kids as much as I hate pain.”
“No, nothing like that,” Braxlin shook his head and chuckled, “We were wondering if you’d like to help God out by smiting the wicked. It’s a new job offer as much as it is a new life offer, you see.”
“What?” I chuckled, disbelieving, “You want me to kill people in the name of God? I’m not that insane.”
“Would you at least give us a chance to explain?” Raziel asked, sounding almost desperate, “You have nothing to lose by that.”
“Whatever,” I shrugged, crossing my arms, “Tell me what you’ve got.”
“Your task will be relatively simple,” Braxlin began, “Once things begin, I will come to you every week with a new...target, if you will. Your task will be to terminate the criminal. To accomplish this, there would have to be some changes made to your body. You would receive certain powers. Your health will improve to perfection. This includes correction of chemical and weight imbalances, as well as tissue repair and expulsion of toxins. You will no longer need food for nourishment, just water and perhaps some vitamins and minerals. Do you like what you hear so far?”
“Sounds too good to be true,” I scoffed, “So what’s the catch?” “I think it would be better if we showed you,” Raziel stepped forward and touched my arm before I had a chance to react. For a moment, I saw Raziel become a female angel with snowy white wings that shined so radiantly, I had to close my eyes. As soon as my eyes shut, I saw what I could only guess was a glimpse of what the future held for me, if I chose to accept the angels’ proposal. I saw quick flashes of a man raping and killing a child. Then I saw something approach the man. I knew it was supposed to be me, but it didn’t look like me. I was slim and dark, seemingly covered in shadows. I had no legs, but what seemed to be long, black tentacles trailing behind me as I drifted up to the man. Without the rest of me moving, the tentacles whipped over and entangled the man. I heard the snap and crunch of bones as I folded him up and took him into myself. When I had consumed him entirely, my tentacles hung back to the floor. Though I had ‘eaten’ a man quite larger than myself, I remained the same size. I understood that this is how I would eat, and that in this form, I would go unnoticed as a shadow drifting down the street. I could resume human form and even try to lead a normal human life, but people close to you can notice when you never eat or have food in your apartment. I would only be allowed to tell one person: my life mate, if I ever found one. If I consciously tell anyone else, I would be stripped of my powers and returned to the state I was in before the transformation. By performing these ‘killings’ for God until I died, I would be guaranteed a place in heaven.
“And money,” Braxlin said as the vision ended, “I’ll give you $350 a week, plus you can keep whatever money is on whomever you consume. Here are all the details if you have any other questions.” He pulled a manila envelope from his jacket and handed it to me.
I pulled out the thick stack of papers, “Do you mind if I take some time to read this?”
“Not at all,” Raziel smiled confidently, “Take all the time you need.” I sat down at my desk and quietly read the entire document for what seemed like hours. When I finished and looked up at the clock on the wall, only five minutes had passed.
“Well, that’s quite an offer,” I turned to see them still standing there patiently, “But it didn’t say anything about getting my old life back if I don’t like the change.”
“I doubt that would happen,” Braxlin shook his head, “But if it did, then you would just tell someone what you’ve done, thus forfeiting your powers and your guaranteed place in heaven.”
“Right,” I sighed, pondering for a moment, “Oh what the hell. Anything’s worth trying. I’ll do it.”
“Excellent,” Raziel stepped forward, “Just touch the skull and the deal is done.”
As I reached for the skull, its light began to pulsate, as if it felt my excitement. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, and put my hand on the skull. The sensation that washed over my body was like I had dived into a pool of thick gel. When I gasped for breath, the gel seemed to absorb into me. I was sickened for a moment, sensing all the filth in my body. Then, as simple as flipping on a switch, I began the purification process. I opened my eyes to see the two angels standing before me.
“It will take some time for your body to perfect itself, so you should expect some strange, uh, excretions,” Braxlin’s voice was the sound of an avalanche of snow and ice, “I will find you in two month with your first assignment.”
“It will take that long?” I asked, noticing my voice sounded like someone else was talking with it.
“Yes,” Razil confirmed, her voice carrying with it all the tranquility of dawn, “Though the change is still quite swift, any faster would be too suspicious. Just tell everyone you’re on a diet of sorts.” The angels’ forms faded back to the two men.
“And don’t forget to drink lots of water,” Braxlin reminded me as the both turned to exit, “That’s essential for flushing out impurities.”
“I won’t forget,” my voice was normal again, “Thank you.”
“No, thank you,” Razil bowed respectfully, then followed Braxlin out the door and closed it behind them. I wandered back over to my bed and sat down. I closed my eyes and meditated on my body. I could feel my system changing and working hard to correct itself. I felt a tiny pain in my mouth, then felt something on my tongue. Quickly, I spit it out into my hand. It was one of my wisdom teeth. Then there was another, and two more after that. Though it didn’t hurt much, I felt my teeth slowly begin to straighten out. I lied back down and looked over at my medical equipment as I set my teeth next to it. I had to return it tomorrow because I no longer had health insurance from work. But that didn’t bother me anymore because I would never need it again.