By Bob Hater ( bob_hater@hotmail.com )

First let me introduce myself, my name is Bob Hater, and I am a wrestling fan. Well I am a fan some times and other times I think that the ex-writers for Full House could write better scripts. I have been watching wrestling since the mid-eighties, and I know wrestling, well I at least know what I like and what I HATE.

If you don't like or don't agree with what I write, I got two words for you…FUCK OFF, write your own column or shut the fuck up. And so it begins…

TOP TEN THINGS I HATE RIGHT NOW:
1. Nicole Bass - what kind of audience is the WWF trying to bring in, the dyke transsexuals already come to see the Blue Meanie
2. The Blue Meanie - I got an e-mail to save the Blue Meanie last week and I couldn't believe that any one could support his stupid fucking gimmick. He is fat, slow, lame and a horrible wrestler, not to mention shitty mic skills. Stealing Sables lame speech, he's a fucking genius.
3. Diamond Dallas Page - This is not just due to recent events, I have always hated him. He should have stayed managing Dok Hendrix and the Freebirds. Now he is booking his own matches, please, now I know what the ex-writers for Family Matters are doing, writing scripts for WCW.
4. Lack of Good Heels in WCW - First they had too many good heels with Hogan, Nash, Hall, and such, and now they have lame ones, DDP, Macho Man, and Flair. Please that quick of a switch only confuses the average fan.
5. Smackdown - I saw Smackdown and all I could say, was "what is this Bizzaro WWF". The Corporate Ministry, the Blue Blazer, Jim Cornet, ass-kissing Vinny Mac, Mr. Ass going bad, Droz dressing like Buff Bagwell. As Jim Ross would say "DEAR LORD THE CARNAGE, IT'S LIKE A CAR WRECK!!!" I was so confused and disappointed that the WWF would pull such shit. They taking a page from WCW and treating the fans like morons.
6. The Big Show's Music - I know that its not a big deal, but every time the crowd hears: glass breaking, "Do you smell what the Rock is Cookin'?", "Oh you didn't know?", or a car wreck, they erupt. But when they hear a county, bluesie, lame-ass: "he's the Big Show", they only want to square dance and have sex with their sisters. I'm assuming that what happens in Mid-Western USA.
7. WCW not using Chris Jericho - Ya I know, really original. I love him just like everyone else.
8. RVD not getting a title shot - He is the main reason I watch ECW when I can. He is the best all around wrestler in ECW and I hope WWF picks him up in the future because WCW will just misuse him. Everyone knows that the TV title is lame, give him the FTW title at least.
9. ECW not being shown in Canada - I love ECW and I basically only get to see the PPV's at my buddies' house because no one will carry it here.
10. Road Doggs' Sodomy Suplex - If you haven't seen it yet consider yourself lucky, he humps his opponent in the ass while doing a pumphandle suplex. Sorry Road Dog, Golddust is still the main fag in the WWF, don't try to steal his gimmick.

I know I could probably come up with another 10 but I need to save a little for later.

TOP TEN THINGS I LIKE RIGHT NOW:
1. Mick Foley - I just got a copy of the IWA King of the Deathmatches and the Best of Cactus Jack videos and I love this guy.
2. Debra's Puppies - What can I say that the King Jerry Lawler hasn't.
3. Getting JR back - Michael Cole sucks ass.
4. WCW making Charles Robinson VP - Some think it is lame, but now we get to see Gorgeous Gorge, and I have a soft spot for the referees, I referee hockey.
5. WWF scraping the idea for a women only show - I'm all for tits, hell the more tits the merrier, but at least the WWF can see a ratings flop coming.
6. Tommy Dreamer - He's the innovator of violence; he puts on a great match.
7. Sting's return - WCW needs all of their superstars if they want to make the ratings game interesting again.
8. Nash going face - I don't know why I support this so much, but I love Kevin Nash and I like cheering for the good guys.
9. The Mean Street Posse - One of the guys nickname is "Gas", need I say more.
10. ECW pushing the big 2 to go more hardcore - I love blood, I love violence. I'm the kind of guy that would cut off my own balls to watch a FOX special entitled "World's Bloodiest Combine Accidents". They way I look at it, it's not my face that is bleeding after taking a chair shot, so I don't care if these idiots kill each other in the name of entertainment.

BOB'S RUMORS:
(Disclaimer: These rumors are not real; I have made them up)
- WWF will hold a PPV entitled "Suckdown" where Vinny Mac tries to show that he is now a face by sucking Austin's dick for three hours.
- WWF under fire from community groups, has decided to do some public service announcements within RAW. Val Venus, will catch gonorrhea from Nicole Bass and the WWF will tape the treatments to be shown during RAW.
- WCW bookers have realized that they have made both Charles Robinson and Macho Man and Gorgeous Gorge heels, and having them fight each other doesn't make sense so, during Slamboree the idiot that booked the match will be executed by Ted Turner in the ring.
- ECW has finally gone bankrupt, so they signed a deal with a porn company, a heroin dealer named Slappy, and the KKK, to promote them all during their weekly shows.

That is all for the first edition of HATER'S RANT. If you didn't like it you can eat my ass.