The Perfect Wrestling Promotion

By The Punisher (RvDSABU55@aol.com)

Hello.  This week I'm gonna tell you how I would make a fed if I ever made
one.  I will tell you who my top 20 list is, and much more!  Now onto the
column.

The Following wrestlers are the top 20 wrestlers I would get for my
fed.  I will also tell you why I would get them.

1. The Rock - This guy has the greatest mic skills I have seen!  He plays
both Babyface and Heel almost flawlessly.  He's the youngest World Champ
ever!  The only thing he suffers from is OVER-selling.  But that's ok, he's
still the most promising superstar in the wrestling world today.

2. Rob Van Dam - He, too, has great mic skills.  He is the greatest high
flyer in the sport entertainment business today.  If you add 300 pounds to
him, then he is equal to the luchadores.  He's young, too.  He can also break
a table, and take bumps.  Just look at his macth against Jerry Lynn at
Hardcore Heaven, he got peices of his facial skin scraped off, and still
managed to pull of, what I think will be the best macth of the year. 

3. Steve Austin - The Fans love him!!  He would pull in alot of fans.  He is
the best draw I ever saw.  He is older then the first two, but the older, the
more experience.  And after he retired I could use him to teach up-and-coming
superstars in a trainig-like camp.

4. Mick Foley - He is the craziest son of a B*cth I've seen in my life.  I
could use him as anyone of his gimmicks and he would still be very
enertainering.  Dude Love would make us laugh, Cactus Jack would make us feel
like making up our own weapons, and Mankind would make us jump off of our
roof of our house! 

5. Chris Jericho - Great Talent!!  He has the most talent then any other
"Chris" in the business.  Ok, so I made that sentence up, but he probably
is!!  And you can quote me on this, Chris Jericho will be the next Champion
of the world!! 

6. Billy Kidman - A great all round athlete.  He can do it all.  From
Armlocks to 450 splashes, he can do it.  He's another young performer he is
promising to the fed.  I would put him against bigger names then WCW has been
doing, too.

7. The Undertaker - He has good mic skills, and is unquestionably one of the
very best big men in the business.  The only thing he lacks in is he's age,
but he has been going strong, and don't expect him to go down hill anytime
soon.

8. Taz - A great all round wrestler. He knows every submission and every
suplex, and he can do all of them, too! 

9. Justin Credible - He is young, and great.  He is the one guy that you
LOOOOVVVVEEE.....to hate!!  I love to wacth him get his ass whooped and when
he does win, I wacth the next event to see what happens to him.  I would get
him fast because he's not just the coolest....he's not just the best...HE'S
JUSTIN CREDIBLE!!!

10.  Sabu - Need I say more?

11. Scott Steiner - He is strong.  He's got the best body in professional
wrestling.  He is talented too!  He is a MUST for my fed. 

12. Al Snow - He is one of the best wrestlers in the world today.  Forget
about all that WWF Hardcore Title nonsense, he is world title material.  He
just hasn't gotten he's push yet.  He will. 

13. Jerry Lynn - He is the "New F'n Sh...."  never mind, he hasn't beat Rob
Van Dam for that spot yet, but he is pretty damn close.  I would put RVD and
him together for a best out of 7 series.  Fans would eat it up!

14. Goldberg - Yeah, I hate him too.  BUT, he does have a name.  And when you
have a big name like him in your fed your bound for fans.  I would have him
face Austin, boy would that draw alot, ALOT of fans!! 

15. Chirs Beniot - Great Talent.  He has extremely high talent.  He can take
bumps, and give bumps.   I would give him a much higher push then what WCW
has him. 

16. Billy Gunn - As the WWF would say, "The greatest raw talent in the sort
today!!" which is a overrated statement but not by a whole lot. He does have
alot of talent.  He is the future of the WWF, in my opinion.  Couldn't you
just picture "The Rock vs Billy Gunn for the World Title"  We got a taste of
that macth a couple weeks ago on RAW but Gunn wasn't even a contender for any
title, He would be a top contender in my fed!

17. Buff Bagwell - Self Proclaimed, "The third best body in professionel
wrestling" and who can agrue?  He very well does fit his name.  He is also
very young.  He is not a old geezer and WCW fans actually know him!!  That's
a first!!  Now that, to me, means more then any title!

18. Sting - Not Young, but still he has alot of years left.  He has a great
gimmick, I just can hope that WCW doesn't own it!!

19. Paul Wight - VERY, VERY BIG!!  He, in many eyes, is the next Andre the
Giant!  What BIG shoes to fill.  Seriously! 

20. Tommy Dreamer - Very devoted to ECW.  He is a big name and could take on
anyone.  I hope he gets just as much devoted to my fed as he is to ECW.  He's
a great team player!

Well, I just covered the top 20 wrestlers I would pick up for my fed.
There's alot more then just the wrestlers in a fed.  There's backstage
people.  They make the angles, the gimmicks, all that kind of stuff.  I would
hire half WWF, half ECW, and 3 people from WCW!  Haha!!  Plus all the events
are LIVE so people on the internet (like me) don't know what's gonna happen
on the next television broadcast.  Now, I know that this doesn't really
matter, but I would never, EVER, even think of hiring, Tony Shiavonie (I
don't know how to spell his name).  The broadcasters would be Jim Ross, Joey
Styles, and Jerry "The King" Lawler.  Jim Ross for his funny sayings, Joey
Styles for being himself, and Jerry Lawler for, well, being "puppie" crazy!! 

The Following are the 5 women I would hire for my fed:

1. Tammy Lynn....Sytch - Man!  I've liked her since, well, the sunny days! 
She can really move it!!

2. Debra  - The Puppies cham....errrr.....The Women's champ of the WWF.  She
has the greatest pair of......shoes I've seen in a LONG time!  (hehe)

3. Francine - In my opinion, she could take on any woman out there (And
PLEASE Volunteer!  I promise, I'll buy front row tickets!).  She is soooo
tough, and, "She has the look that gets the touch!"  (I hope that quote ain't
copyrighted!)

4. Tammy Lynn Bytch - She is Great!!  I love her outfits...err..should I say,
I love WHAT'S INSIDE HER OUTFITS!!

5. Beulah - I don't care if she isn't in wrestling anymore, I WOULD BRING HER
BACK!  She could manage Tommy Dreamer!

Well that's my column, , like it or hate it, you read it!!  If you
ain't down with that, I got two words for ya...E-MAIL ME!!!!   Until next
time, I'm The Punisher signing off!!! 
~c ya

- The Punisher
(RvDSABU55@aol.com)