By The Punisher (RvDSABU55@aol.com)
13th June, 1999

My Dream Card

Hello. This is the newest edition of the Punishment. And I hope you like it, but if you don't, it's fine with me. Ok. This column I'm going to talk about my dream card. So this will be a column I am really gonna enjoy writing. So, onto the column.

Name of Card - WrestleStarManiaCade (Wrestlemania+Starrcade)

Main Event - World Title Macth - Shawn Micheals Vs "Stone Cold" Steve Austin Vs Bret Hart

The Set up - It's 4 months before WrestleStarManiaCade. It's
a Pay-Per-View. The Main Event is Bret Hart Vs "Stone Cold" Steve Austin for the world title with Shawn Micheals as the guest referee. Hart dominates most of the macth. But suddenly, out of nowhere, Austin kicks Hart and then delivers the Stunner!! Micheals gets down to count. 1..2..and then Micheals freezes right before his hand hits the mat. Austin gets up and Micheals runs outside the ring. Austin chases him all the way around the ring and then Micheals goes in the ring and runs and Austin follows but he gets a chair shot to the head from Bret Hart! Then, HBK hits Hart with the chair and covers both Austin and Hart (with his body), and counts 1..2..3!! Then for a three weeks, Micheals gets away from Austin or Hart (or both at same time). But the week before the PPV, It's HBK Vs Austin for the world title in a ladder macth on RAW. Both have a long macth. Then as both Austin and HBK climb the ladder, Down from the rafters comes Bret Hart, he grabbs the title and someone pulls him up back to the rafters. Hart runs away for two months. Then Vince McMahon orders a Title Macth, Shawn Micheals Vs Hart in a Hell in a cell so Austin can't interfere. During the macth Austin comes to ringside and sits down to wacth the macth. Micheals connects with Sweet Chin Music and Austin quickly gets up and goes to the time keeper's table and gets the World Title and walks down the aisle looking at Micheals and Hart with a snicker on his face. And Hart and Micheals stop fighting and are amazed. They try to open the cage but with no success. This sets up the macth at WrestleStarManiaCade.

Outcome - HBK and Hitman team up in the beginning to take out Austin. After a while, they stop teaming up and start to brawl. They go all over the arena. When they fight back to the ring, Austin has disappeared! After a long time of fighting, Micheals hits Sweet Chin Music on Hart and Pins him! HBK exclaims he is the new champ! Then from under the ring Austin comes out and stunners HBK and pins him, 1..2..NOO!! HBK KICKED OUT! Austin pulls him up and nails on him, then, out of nowhere, HBK hits Sweet Chin Music on him and pins him, 1..2..NOO!! AUSTIN KICKED OUT! Then after a long brawling period, HBK hits Sweet Chin Music, AGAIN! He gets the 1..2..3!!! NEW CHAMPION!!

Tag Team Title Macth - No Dq - The Dudely Boyzz Vs Tommy Dreamer and Mystery Partner

Set up - The Dudely's break the neck of Beulah (AGAIN). Tommy gets furious and seeks revenge. On RAW, Tommy says bring it on! But, The Dudely's bring out the rulebook and read this from page 69 Section 6 paragragh 9, "Any Tag Team who doesn't want to face in singles or handicap competetion, has the choice of refusing a challenge."

Outcome - So Tomy Dreamer finds the "perfect" partner. When he reveals who this person is it's....Mr. Perfect!! Dreamer and Perfect beat the hell out of The Dudely's to win the tag team titles. After the macth out comes Terry Funk. Funk looks mad for Dreamer not picking Funk, AGAIN. Before Funk can touch Dreamer, out of the crowd, comes Chris Beniot. Beniot nails Funk with a chair. Then Beniot,Dreamer, and Mr. Perfect all stomp on Funk. They grabb the microphone and say that their the NEW Triple Threat!! (in the following weeks, Funk alines himself with the dudely's and a macth is set for the next PPV).

Hardcore Title Royal Rumble (you have to throw the opponent over the guard rail and into the crowd to eliminate someone) - Raven Vs Al Snow Vs Bam Bam Bigelow Vs The Sandman Vs Hardcore Holly Vs "Roaddogg" Jesse James Vs Brian Lee Vs New Jack Vs Brian Knobbs Vs Billy Gunn Vs Saturn Vs Mustafa Vs Kronus Vs Rocco Rock Vs Johnny Grunge

The Set up - The popularity of the hardcore title started to rise. And with that, same with the compietition. Hardcore Holly stated he was the most hardcore guy in the whole world and he even was named hardcore. Then Al Snow comes out and explains how sure, holly was hardcore, but Al Snow created hardcoreness. Raven says, let's have a macth to see who the real crowned king of hardcore is. Then The Sandman agrees, same with Billy Gunn and Mustafa. So, we throw all hardcore 15 men into a ring (with weapons every possible place) and say "You think your the hardcore king, PROVE IT!"

Outcome - The first to enter was The Public Enemy. They brought a table each and set each up on the outside of the ring. Then entered the Sandman. He brought a Kendo Stick, and a beer, of course. Then every one came out normel. Raven hit Brian Knobbs with a steel chair, first. Raven dragged Knobb's body to the outside and lifted him up and was about to throw him out, but pulled him back and DDTed him then threw him out over the guard rail. Then, Al Snow did a flip onto Raven from inside the ring. Raven set up a table outside the ring and rolled inside the ring. He got Hardcore Holly and brought him to the top rope. He then suplexed Holly off the top rope through the table! And tossed him over the rail.
At the same time, on the other side of the ring, The Public Enemy set New Jack and Mustafa on the two tables and were setting Kronus and Saturn on the two top turnbuckles. And then TPE did double frankensteiners onto New Jack and Mustafa and broke the two tables! Al Snow went over and pulled barbed wire from under the ring and wrapped it around the head of Johhny Grunge, then he got a trash can and put that over the barbed wire wround his face. Then Snow started punching Grunge in the head with the trash can/barbed wire combo ver/around his head. Then Snow Clotheslined Grunge out over the guard rail. Then Rocco Rock charged Snow and snow ducked and did a back body drop to him and flipped Rocco Rock over the guard rail.

So far - Al Snow, Raven, Bam Bam Bigelow, The Sandman, "Roaddogg" Jesse James, Brian Lee, New Jack, Billy Gunn, Saturn, Mustafa, and Kronus are left.

Sandman and Bam Bam Bigelow start to wrestle. Bam Bam tacks him down and they brawl to the outside, Sandman hits Bigelow with a powerbomb over the rail to eliminate Bigelow. Al Snow starts to punch and kick Billy Gunn on the outside. Then Gunn gets stunned and Snow climbs the ropes and does a moonsault onto gunn. Then Snow Snow Plows Gunn and whips him into the guard rail and Gunn goes flying over the guard rail. New Jack and Mustafa get up. Mustafa holds out his hand and New Jack shakes it! THE GANGSTAS ARE BACK! On the other side of the ring, Kronus holds out his hand and Saturn shakes it! THE ELIMINATORS ARE BACK!Saturn pulls out a table from under the ring and krnus wrapps it in barbed wire. Saturn and Krnus leave the table and go in the ring. They started double teaming Brian Lee. They bring him to the outside and left him up and all three (Lee, and both eliminators) get on the table. SATURN AND KRNUS DO TOTAL ELIMINATION AND BRIAN LEE FALLS THROUGH THE TABLE! Saturn lifts up Brian Lee and eliminates him from the rumble.

So Far - Al Snow, Raven, The Sandman, "Roaddogg" Jesse James, New Jack, Saturn, Mustafa, and Kronus are left.

The Sandman sets up a table on the outside. He climbs into the inside of the ring. He wacks "Roaddogg" a couple times with his stick, then places him on the top rope. Then Sandman climbs to the top rope. Then Sandman does the Frankensander through the table on the outside! Then Sandman Does a Suplex to eliminate roaddogg. Sandman climbs back into the ring and hits Kronus with cane and kronus goes flying over the top rope to the outside. Sandman goes to try to go to the outside but the GANGSTAS turn him around and do a double DDT to him. New Jack grabbs a trach can and pulls out a toy of "Godzilla" He places it between the legs of the sandman and grabbs the cane and hits the godzilla into Sandmans balls and the godzilla broke! Then THE GANGSTAS AND THE ELIMINATORS TEAMED UP TO THROW OUT SANDMAN! BUT WHILE THEY THROW OUT SANDMAN, MUSTAFA DOUBLE CROSSES NEW JACK AND PUSHES NEW JACK OUT, TOO! Then The Eliminators dp Total Elimination to Mustafa. Then The Eliminators go to high-five New Jack and New Jack pulls them out! Then they all brawl on the floor, and Mustafa gets up and sees this and goes over the guard rail to join in!

So Far - Al Snow and Raven are left.

A long hardcore brawl. After Snow knocked out Raven with thew snow plow he went outside and pulled out 3 tables from under the ring. He set them up so half of the table is over the rail and half on the other side of the rail. Then he puts the 2 other tables stacked ontop each other. And Snow pulls Raven out and places Raven on the second table and Snow goes to the third table. Snow jumps through the third table and hits raven on the second table, and both Raven and Snow go through the first table, but Snow fell on the other side of the Rail! RAVEN WINS!

Lion's Den Macth - Ken Shamrock Vs Taz

Set up - Taz says how he's the best shooter ever. And Shamrock says Taz would be nothing in a real macth. So this feud gets put to rest in a Lion's den macth!

Outcome - Ken Shamrock hooked a arm submission nd Taz rammed Shamrocks head into the fence. Then Shamrock let go of the hold and Ken got up and so did taz. They both charged each other but Taz did a spear mpve and started to punch Shamrock, then he hooked a leg submission on Shamrock and leaned back and you can hear a pop in the leg of Shamrock and Shamrck broke his leg! Taz then hooked on the Taz-mission and Shamrock tried to counter but couldn't and submitted! TAZ WINS!

Double Hell in a Cell (A h.i.c. stacked ontop a h.i.c.) - Mankind Vs Any man willing (STING)

Set up - Mankind keeps saying even though he ain't on the official card, he will make a big impact. So he calls out anyone and well STING COMES!

Outcome - Mankind comes down with a chair, a table, and a trash can. He climbs the HiC. He stops climbing and crawls into the door of the 2nd HiC. he puts the chair and the trash can inside it. Then he climbs back down and places the table inside the first HiC, but outside the ring (between the ring and cage). Then Mankind waits in the ring. And you hear Stings music and he comes down from the rafters in his trench coat, and the black and white facepaint. He goes through a door on the top of the second cell and he is ontop Mankind. He holds his face and takes off the black and white face paint (a mask) and he has short bleached blond hair and green and blue face paint. and takes off his trenchcoat and has on a green and blue paints! THIS IS THE OLD STING! Sting gets a hold of the chair and unhooks himself from the string. Sting then goes out the door and throws down the chair. He climbs down and goes into the first cell with mankind. Sting charges Mankind and throws the chair at mankind and mankind cacthes it and Sting does a drop kick into the chair into mankinds face. Mankind falls into the corner and Sting does the Stinger Splash to him. Mankind falls and Sting hooks the Scorpian Deathlock. Mankind is bleeding and won't tap. So, Sting lets go of the hold. Sting pulls Mankind to his feet and starts to punch him. After a while of Sting beating on Mankind, Sting climbs into the second cell. Mankind follows. When Mankind gets up Sting does a back body drop and Mankind breaks the cell and falls into the ring! Then Mankind climbs back up and sting climbs ontop the second cell and mankind does the same. As soon as mankind gets up Sting does a back body drop and mankind breaks through the cell again this time twice and hits the ring. Mankind some how climbs back up to the top of the second cell and Sting puts a trash can over Mankinds head and wacks him with a chair and mankind leaps off the second cell to the concrete! Sting climbs down and pins him, 1..2..3!!

TV Title Macth - No Dq - Rob Van Dam Vs Jerry Lynn

Set up - After their recent series of macthes, any fan realizes, "Jerry Lynn Vs RVD NEVER GETS OLD!" So here it is

Outcome - Just like all the other macthes! Great talent! RVD comes outon top again (after 5 five star frog splashes).

Strongest Man - Mark Henry Vs Scott Steiner

Set up - Scott Steiner said he was so strong. Henry said that he was The Strongest man in the world, and said he even proved it in competition. Scott Steiner said that Henry was the strongest man in the world when Steiner was a baby.

Outcome - This macth was like whoever could lift heavier weights. Scott got up to 600, and Henry was at 300. STEINER WINS! (in another shorter saying, the gimmick Mark Henry uses now, IS A LIE!)

~c ya
- The Punisher
(RvDSABU55@aol.com)