The Quotes Basement
Sub-Level 3
'The Gods did not create us in their image; we created them in ours.'
'Sometimes honour is found in the places where there is the least glory.'
'Chivalry is the most delicate form of contempt.'
'You've got to get obsessed and stay obsessed.'
For the happiest life, days should be rigorously planned, nights left open to chance.
'I know you, not your name, but your game, I know the true you.'
'Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.'
"There are bugs and then there are bugs. And then there are bugs."
'Mandkind fears the darkness so he scrapes away at the edges of it with fire'
'The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exsist'
'Those who truely understand need no explanation.
'Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortunes; but great minds rise above them.'
The day will happen whether or not you get up.
Ever heard of the agnostic,dyslexic insomniac who stays awake all night wondering if Dog exists?
"Life begins when you can spend your spare time programming instead of
watching television."
"The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any
reward."
'There is no great genius without some touch of madness.'
The part of the world that people find most puzzling is the part called "Me".
'There's sure no passion in the human soul, But finds it's food in music.'
'Just because a solution satisfies a problem, never accept that it must be the only solution'
'If we did all things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves'
'The biggest fool is the one who thinks there is such a thing as fake music'
I don't hate anyone. I dislike. But my dislike is the equivalent of anyone else's hate.
'The more the data banks record about each one of us, the less we exist.'
'Those who create are rare; those who cannot are numerous. Therefore, the latter are stronger.'
'That is not dead, which can eternal lie, yet with strange eons, even death can die.'
'Unfortunately, aging seem to be the only available way for one to live a long time'
"What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making
them puke."
"The way of the world is to praise dead saints and prosecute live ones."
'From the traveler who looks back,
'Happy is the person who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused'
'There arises from a bad and unapt formation of words a wonderful obstruction to the mind'
'The First Law of Computing:
'The past is history
'The light only shines in the dark. And sometimes innocence is just an excuse for the guilty'
"Hats off, gentlemen - a genius!"
"I prefer neurotic people. I like to hear rumblings beneath the surface."
People don't choose their careers; they are engulfed by them.
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on thee and I'll forgive thy great big one on me.
'Music and silence...combine strongly because music is done with silence, and silence is full of music'
'Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.'
This town isn't big enough to act like a maniac too often or you get a REPUTATION.
'All books are either dreams or swords, You can cut, or you can drug, with words.'
In the end nobody will blame you. Because in the end there is nobody.
'Since when was genius found respectable?'
Question: "Which is worse - ignorance or apathy?"
'A dream is an answer to a question we haven't yet learn't how to ask'
'life is a cigarette, you smoke it till the end'
"They call them "squares" because it's the most complicated shape they can deal with."
'Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.'
"Matter cannot be created or destroyed, nor can it be returned without a receipt."
"The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice."
'... the heat come 'round and busted me for smiling on a cloudy day.'
Kludge, n.:
An ill-assorted collection of poorly-matching parts, forming a distressing whole.
Nachman's Rule:
'It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.'
"The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable."
love, n.:
"The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions."
'Man will never fly. Space travel is merely a dream. All aspirin is alike.'
"Somehow I reached excess without ever noticing when I was passing through satisfaction."
"How can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese?"
'You never know what is enough until you know what is more than enough.'
'Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.'
'Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.'
"You've got to think about tomorrow!"
Law of Continuity:
"'Martyrdom' is the only way a person can become famous without ability."
"Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?"
'Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.'
"In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first universe."
"It seems intuitively obvious to me, which means that it might be wrong."
'Optimism is the content of small men in high places.'
"Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else -- unless it is an enemy."
"Enzymes are things invented by biologists that explain things which otherwise require harder thinking."
'Your conscience never stops you from doing anything. It just stops you from enjoying it.'
"Optimisim is a drug taken by fools and those who have been awake too long."
"Life is just a bowl of cherries, but why do I always get the pits?"
"Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing."
"Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proved innocent."
'While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.'
'He is considered a most graceful speaker who can say nothing in the most words.'
"All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands."
"One of the worst of my many faults is that I'm too critical of myself."
"A man does not look behind the door unless he has stood there himself."
"Cops never say good-bye. They're always hoping to see you again in the line-up."
"The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power. "
Bore, n.:
"I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it."
love, n.:
"Heuristics are bug ridden by definition. If they didn't have bugs, then they'd be algorithms."
An efficient and a successful administration manifests itself equally in small as in great matters.
"I think trash is the most important manifestation of culture we have in my lifetime."
"A freelance is one who gets paid by the word -- per piece or perhaps."
'My sister opened a computer store in Hawaii. She sells C shells down by the seashore.'
'And then there was the lawyer that stepped in cow manure and thought he was melting...'
On a paper submitted by a physicist colleague:
"It's the good girls who keep the diaries, the bad girls never have the time."
'Please don't put a strain on our friendship by asking me to do something for you.'
"The propriety of some persons seems to consist in having improper thoughts about their neighbours."
'The difference between reality and unreality is that reality has so little to recommend it.'
"I love you more than anything in this world. I don't expect that will last."
The trouble with a kitten is that
Conscious is when you are aware of something and conscience is when you wish you weren't.
"The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom."
"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."
'By doing just a little every day, you can gradually let the task completely overwhelm you.'
"I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either."
"The student in question is performing minimally for his peer group and is an emerging underachiever."
"If swimming is so good for your figure, how come whales look the way they do?"
"Understanding is always the understanding of a smaller problem in relation to a bigger problem."
"You know what they say -- the sweetest word in the English language is revenge."
"What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize literature?"
Bumper sticker:
'The opulence of the front office door varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.'
FLASH!
BYTE editors are people who separate the wheat from the chaff, and then carefully print the chaff.
"Sometimes when you look into his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving."
"The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing."
"In a whiskey it's age, in a cigarette it's taste and in a sports car it's impossible."
"No one so thoroughly appreciates the value of constructive criticism as the one who's giving it."
'Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.'
"I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones."
"The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is the reason that He makes so many of them."
"Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel."
"Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead."
"The appreciation of the average visual graphisticator alone is worth the whole suaveness and decadence which abounds!!"
Kinkler's First Law:
'Never, ever lie to someone you love unless you're absolutely sure they'll never find out the truth.'
"There goes the good time that was had by all."
'In America, it's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.'
"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Hate me because I'm beautiful, smart and rich."
'Alcohol, hashish, prussic acid, strychnine are weak dilutions. The surest poison is time.'
"Talent does what it can, genius what it must. I do what I get paid to do."
" - Un dessein si funestre,
To survive you have to know the difference between your friends and you enemies.
'Television: a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well done.'
'Moral passion without entertainment is propaganda, and entertainment without moral passion is television."
"The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle - they're on TV."
"I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts."
"One of the greatest achievements in a materialistic society is to be content with what we have,"
'Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.'
'Man blames most accidents on fate - but feels a more personal responsibility when he makes a hole-in-one.'
"Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it inflames the great."
A lot of people get what they want, but they don't always want what they get.
With your heads all on backwards you can see in front for what near behind you lies.
"When a man is tired of London he is tired of life."
'Sometimes you kill crickets thinking they're cockroaches. The time has come to tread carefully'
"Whenever I'm talking to christians, I say 'Explain dinosaurs!' That shuts them up for over an hour."
Next Sub-Level? Right Here
'Words are the only bullets in truths bandolier.
And poets are the snipers'
-George Wu
-Tamora Pierce
-Albert Guerard (Bottle in the Sea, Harvard)
-John Irving (The Hotel New Hampshire Dutton)
-Jerome K. Jerome
-Karl Lehenbauer
Those who need explaination will never understand.'
-To Ride Pegasus
-Washington Irving
-John Ciardi (Reader's Digest May)
-Cal Keegan
-John Maynard Keynes
-Lucius Annaeus Seneca (Moral Essays)
-George Lillo
-Magician
-Thomas Edison
-Dalwitz
-Marshall McLuhan
-Gabrielle Chaniel
-Steve Martin
-Nathaniel Howe
the Gods take one eye;
From the traveler who looks back,
they take both
-Francis Bacon
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.'
-Rossiter
The future is a mystery
And today is a gift
That's why it's called the Present'
-StarTrek
-Robert Schumann (On fist hearing Frederic Chopin's music, 1831)
-Stephen Sondheim (Newsweek 23 Apr)
- John Dos Passos (NY Times 25 Oct)
-Aaron Copland
-Amy Lowell
Elizabeth Barrett Browning (Aurora Leigh bk VI, 1857)
Response: "I don't know and I don't care"
-the X-files
-Supergrass ( Pumpin on your stereo)
-John Lehman (Secretary of the Navy, 1981-1987)
-Mark Twain
-Jackson Granholm ("Datamation")
When it comes to foreign food, the less authentic the better.
-Gerald Nachman
-Steven Wright
-John Kenneth Galbraith
When it's growing, you don't mind watering it with a few tears.
-Alfred Adler
-Ashleigh Brilliant
-Charles de Gaulle
-William Blake
-Mark Twain
"TOMORROW! I haven't even prepared for *_yesterday_* yet!"
Experiments should be reproducible. They should all fail the same way.
-George Bernard Shaw
-Indiana Jones ("Raiders of the Lost Ark")
-Carl Sagan, Cosmos
-Chris Torek
-F. Scott Fitzgerald ("The Crack Up")
-Albert Einstein
-Jerome Lettvin
-R. Geis
-George Orwell ("Reflections on Gandhi")
-Saint Patrick
-Du Bois
-Raymond Chandler
-William Shakespeare ("Julius Caesar")
A guy who wraps up a two-minute idea in a two-hour vocabulary.
-Walter Winchell
-Steven Wright
When you don't want someone too close--because you're very sensitive to pleasure.
-W. Churchill
-Johnny Legend
-Robert Benchley
"This isn't right. This isn't even wrong."
-Wolfgang Pauli
-Tallulah Bankhead
-F.H. Bradley
-Allan Sherman
-Elvis Costello
When it grows up, it's always a cat
-Ogden Nash.
-H.L. Mencken
-William James
-Jack Benny
-P.D. Ouspensky
-Peter Beard
-Nero Wolfe ("The League of Frightened Men")
All the parts falling off this car are of the very finest British manufacture.
Intelligence of mankind decreasing.
Details at ... uh, when the little hand is on the ....
-David Letterman
-Mr. Cole's Axiom
-Hal Chadwick
-Dr. Laurence J. Peter
-John Cage
-Abraham Lincoln
-S. Johnson ("The Life of Samuel Johnson" by J. Boswell)
-Terry Pratchett ("The Light Fantastic")
Responsibility always exceeds authority.
Kinkler's Second Law:
All the easy problems have been solved.
-Bette Davis (remarking on a passing starlet)
-Paul's Law
-Calvin Keegan
-Emerson ("Society and Solitude")
-QOTD
S'il n'est digne d'Aree, est digne de Thyeste."
-Crebillon (Atree)
-Ernie Kovacs
-Rita Mae Brown (American writer)
-Homer Simpson
-Orson Welles
-P.K.Shaw
Confucius (Analects)
-Dr Samuel Johnson (1777)