BEDLAM
IN BOLINAS
chapter 1 Escape
from the city of Alcatraz This
time, Highway 1 was not a lonely ride. Now earth, sun and sky were in
rhythm with that VW Van which scurried, like a mouse, along the road
below. Wayward winding through the rat race labyrinth of their world,
our four pilgrims were finally on their way. Papa Harrison and the family were moving on, two progeny in the back seat, and wife Wanda by his side. Phelia sat in the back like an Easter Island statue, lost in her music, staring out into the sky and ocean. Jeb sat at opposite ends from her, reading his book with difficulty, despite the tossing sea motion from the roller-coaster road. The van scuttled up and down the coastal highway, while the four passengers rode mental chariots along the paths of their minds. The clouds and sun and fog blended in with the monstrous ocean, much like the stripes of a Persian cat. The sun suddenly broke through the billowing clouds, like a lemming flying over the cliff, and began it's slow motion descent … down into the open sea. Phelia, affectionately dubbed Fefe, surfed the
turbulent waves of heavy metal concertos blasting in her earplugs. She
accepted this infantile epithet, albeit with annoyance, knowing well
that it may stick for life. Growing tired of fighting the winding tossing road, tired of mom’s frequent reminders to look at the scenery, Jeb took his walkman out, inserted his earplugs and removed the JSB CD from his player. Then stealthily, when Phelia was looking out the window, he reached across the imaginary line of demarcation, which divided the territories of occupation, his and her property of habitation in the back seat, and he stole, rather borrowed, a CD case with a long-haired freak gyrating on the cover.
A hawk shadow swept across the road, right before the path of the Van,
and Wanda remarked it was an omen. Jeb felt strange emotion brush through his mind, like
a rodent running for it’s life, catching glimpses from the corner of
his eye of a predator swooping in for the kill.
Dumping the thought, Jeb deftly inserted the CD into
his player and pushed the button. He would occasionally listen to his
sister’s music to assess the guitar talents of Van Halen, or whoever.
Phelia caught a glimpse from the corner of her eye of
exaggerated gyrations of her bother’s head, as Jeb did a guitar rift
with fingers flying wildly in thin air, his face grimacing in time to
the notes, holding out that last high note for a few seconds with a look
of complete ecstasy on his face. Phelia knew he’d sneaked a metal CD, and she turned her face slightly to him, with her eyes rolled upward in exaggerated annoyance, having been through these sibling teasing escapades with Sir Jeb the terrible so many times before. Then she said, “You may know it, that your Mr. JS Bach could have learned a good lick or two from our living maestro, Mr. Van Halen ... huh?” “Both are geniuses in their own rights,” Jeb admitted, while admiring the green and purple streaks in her hair. “But we’ll see if Van will stand the test of time, like Johann did, who is still going strong after 300 earth orbits, let’s see if Van makes the 300 club or not.” “Maybe yes and maybe no," retorted Phelia, "but we’re never going to ever ‘see’ something like that, cause we’ll never know, we’ll all be dead … the whole world may be dead by then, the way things are going.” “Ah, you and your blackish wardrobe and death obsession.” “Hey, it’s the surest thing we know … in a world we’ll never know.” “Yeah, but like Jimi once said, ‘Will I live tomorrow ... dah dah dah woom woom wrannyyy… well I just can’t say,’ whray whrayya [his fingers doing flamboyant guitar licks in the air], ‘but I know for sure, wah wah wah wranyyerr … I’m going to live today….’” and then added some low heavy chords to the air, his face contorting with the guitar blasts. “Oh brother, you’re so sixtyish.” “Yeah, well, whattya expect, with a steady diet of 60’s music since I was in the crib … and they wrote real lyrics back then. That was the last of the gray matter. Whatever brain cells escaped the frying pans of drugs, were shaken from their moorings by the headbangers in the 80’s.” “Very funny.” “I wish it were jest.” After observing the guitar charade antics of her son
in her vanity mirror on the visor, and chuckling to herself, Wanda then
turned to Harrison and said, “Looks like my daily affirmations are
paying off, at long last.” Harrison responded, “Yes, you really did yer magic to ole Betsy, cleansing her aura with your sage smoke and mantras before the trip. It sure beats a tune-up, she’s in prime spiritual shape, and that takes front seat to some local yocal mechanic, right?”
“If you say,” agreed Wanda, “cars and vans take a spirit of their
own, some are in tune with nature, and some can be demons, like that
evil car in that Stephen King movie we saw years ago, what was the name?
Roxanne or something?”
Christina … was it?” Wanda received this with silence and turned to look
at the sea. Harrison wondered if he loaded the van too
heavy, as it chugged slowly up the steep hill. Just as they crested the
top of the hill, a sudden shaft of light flooded the interior
of the van. Harrison instantly grabbed for his sun visor, just as he
would have grabbed his gun 20 years ago, when the battlefield filled
with bright light. He hoped it was all in the past, the flashbacks.
“Hold on old boy,” he muttered to himself. Fears vanished, as the glowing sun bathed the van
with warm security. With a knee-jerk reaction to the bright light, he
nudged the brakes ever so slightly, which dislodged a lingering paranoia
from the backyard of his psyche … from the back of the van. A bundle
of blankets became loosened and dislodged a cold and ominous steel
barrel. Sunbeams danced off a shiny casing of some old rifle. Harrison
felt a stab of premonition, and he turned around that exact moment and
noticed a gun peeking out from the blankets, like a guilty dark shadow
recoiling in fear from a bright shaft of light. The long be-gone
flashbacks once again flickered across his virtual mind like a fourth of
July fireworks shoot-off. Are they finally just a remote figment of
neural information, filed away, back there in the brain? … or … he
didn’t even want to think about it. He just relished the hot glow of
sunlight on his face … those rays of natural atomic energy sure torched
out those stubborn dark thoughts out of their caverns.
The
siblings went back to their business with renewed intensity, and the
parents stared out at the ocean and clouds and blue sky, which all
seemed to iron out those old worry lines that sometimes graced their
foreheads. Today was the day. Today Harrison genuinely enjoyed his wife and kids. The farther they advanced along Highway 1, the closer they came to Bolinas … the promised land. And the more they escaped the city of Alcatraz. Jeb read his book, and sometimes looked out the window, but he didn’t see the same thing that Wanda and Harrison saw. He essentially scanned the phenomenal world through the wisdom of his philosophy books. Enjoying a pondering on some recent passage of life and its fleeting meaning, his reverie of trance was rudely broken by a sudden proclamation, blasting from the front seat... "Harrison! Watch out for that rabbit!" Wanda screamed.
Harrison
screeched to a halt on two
front treads and two bald rears, and snapped like a rubber band
saying, “Good God … honey, whatya trying to do? Blast my
eardrums out of my head and splatter ‘em on the pavement?” He then
jumped out the door, to look
around for a pancaked squirrel under the wheels.
"Okay
… it's okay!" he reassured her visage of horror, which masked her
face. He reached down and picked up the dusty Maggie like she was his
long lost love. Stroking its fur, he proudly displayed this prize
acquisition for everyone to see. Her feline eyes sent a clear and silent
message to the staring humans, Thanks
for saving me ... can I come home with you?
"Hey guys, look what we found," Harrison
said.
"My God, I thought it was a rabbit," Wanda
said.
"Nah, it's a talking Manx!" Harrison
muttered through his Fu Manchu mustache, twisting his muttonchop with
pride. Harrison and Wanda tied the knot of nuptial bliss after the war. Yet, Harrison’s earthly joy did not prove interminable, as the shrapnel wound above his right kneecap would occasionally give reminder of the agony of combat. But Wanda’s healing aura made him forget it all … most of the time. Back in the 60's, his duty to fight won over his peacenik leanings, and he served nearly four months of his year-long assignment overseas before coming home.
"Cute little munchkin," Jeb laughed,
pointing to her distorted behind.
"Damned with faint praise, oh fair-haired son.
Whadya expect from a cat that just about got run over?" Harrison
said, holding it by its scruffy neck.
"Wow, look, no tail! It's a weirdo!" Phelia
exclaimed.
"Hey, be careful, Fefe, you're talking to
compadre, here," Harrison snapped back.
"Yeah,
shut up Phelia. Dad, can we just let it go?" Jeb added his second
cents. “Wild animals have diseases sometimes, you know. We don't need
any more pets, you know.” Wanda tilted her head to stare like at Jeb, as if he wore a nazi uniform and sported a blocked off mustache, and firmly said, "Not a chance buster! We’re taking it home!" Once again, just like one of her favorite heroines, mother Teresa, it was mother Wanda racing to the rescue of the downtrodden.
"Home?” Phelia scowled. “We ain't even moved
in yet. Besides it's too far away for any of my friends to come over ...
why do we need another cat, Ma? We left one with the neighbors already!
What’s the sense?"
"No sense, Fefe, it's called compassion," Wanda
blurted, shooting her an dark glance, with enough voltage to singe the
tips of her purple streaked hair.
"Yeah
kids, whadya wanna do?” Harrison scowled, “throw the woebegone cat
out the window? Look at her shiver in fright … have some compassion,
have a heart … for Pete's sake."
Wanda took the cat on her lap and meanwhile the kids
fell back into their world. Phelia drowned herself in death metal music,
and Jeb took to his philosophy book and his bitter looks at the world. It was plain to see that the stump-tailed cat had
secured her bastion of fortification in this hostile world. Those
loveable eyes flashed her passport badge to everyone. They proclaimed
that she was sore, abused, and as needful of love as any of God’s
creature. The sun hovered beautifully above the sea as they approached Bolinas. It cast a golden glow across the glassy surface of the ocean. Wanda felt a tinkling of hope as they approached the driveway, which was surrounded by a thick clump of undergrowth that lined an even thicker stretch of oak and pine. How long had she yearned to frolic in endless fields of green? To wander the countryside with a panoramic view replete with constellations of flowers dotting the grassy hills, surrounded by a sea of serenity? How long has she sought the ultimate haven for those two souls whom she had brought into this world? Her dreams suddenly became her real world, right before her eyes, as a castle-like abode suddenly materialized out from behind a curtain of trees. It was if her dingy basement of gloom suddenly became a universe filled with shafts of angelic light. Ecstasy filled her soul.
"Hey, we're here!" Phelia yelled.
The VW Van pulled in the driveway and barely stopped
before they all piled out. They stood there in wonder, gazing at their
new homestead. This time they weren't going to move again, not every few
years like before. Come hell or high rap crap, nobody was going to budge
them. They charged through the screen door, led by Phelia
dancing in like a Metallica groupie, and Jeb the doubting Thomas. Harrison followed in sweet serenity with his arms
around Wanda. She lowered the cat gently down on the screened porch and
entered the house smiling like a Cheshire.
"Kick out the jams!" Harrison yelled.
Music
shook the walls and brought down city fever into the country
surroundings. Dylan’s "I ain't gonna work on Maggie's farm no
more..." blasted out from the boombox. Wanda grabbed Phelia and
swung her around and stomped her feet. Jeb jumped onto the sofa and then
onto the back of Harrison. They all let go of a few thousand years of city
fungus and screamed until their new house rocked with the pride of
lions. Then reality pummeled down out of their blue highways … as
something strange caught the corner of Jeb’s eye.
"Hey everybody, Check this out!" yelled Jeb, as he
stared out the back window. They all drifted out onto the back porch, to see what Jeb was talking about, and they saw a huge wooded area looming behind an expansive lawn, with a huge boulder like rock jutting up on the western edge of the woods. “Will you look at this colossal back yard!” said Phelia, “and that rock … it’s monstrous ... looks like that rock they call … uh, Gibraltar, is it?"
Then
it seemed that they all simultaneously looked at the rock and then past
it about 50 yards, there stood a large jungle of trees, very thick. It
was funny how they all stopped for a few long seconds and stared in
silence at the woods. There was an eerie premonition they all shared, a
peculiar look on their faces ... something uncanny, something beggaring
description …something wrong about those woods … something they were
unable to put a discerning finger on. They knew something was awry, yet couldn't get the exact thought or words for the sensation. As they gazed intently at the woods, as invisible eyes stared back. Looking around the rotting stumps and grayish trees, many small eyes surveyed them with keen interest.
A hawk sailed low and silently over the lawn, slowly, observing, looking
… looking for prey? Or just out for a joy flight? There were no signs
of rodents, nothing. No life at all. The silent hawk was the only sign
of life. He flapped his wings and picked up speed and circled the
boulder and then flew over the house. Harrison was the first to break out of the strange
reverie, and offered, "Uh, us ex-city cats will have to take a
little shut-eye." The others agreed with nods, and seemed to snap out
of the hypnotic trance, and they all turned their heads slightly, but
something kept their gaze fixed, they could not peel their eyes away
from the bizarre scene. “When Jeb and I get back from Frisco with the
U-haul and all our stuff tomorrow, we’ve got a two week vacation. Then
it's back to the real world again, me back to the grindstone and the
kids with summer jobs." They all seemed to simultaneously break eye contact
with the woods, and then they all turned around and walked single-file,
back into the house, but their collective thoughts remained in their new
back yard, in a sort of stupefaction.
They naturally went to their own rooms, it was obvious who's was who's, and Phelia called out from her room, "Hey, mom, can I sleep with you tonight?"
"Sure, honey, come on in," Wanda said.
"Yeah, I'll stoke up a little fire on a cool night,"
Harrison said. "Well, I guess I'll sleep in the back room, since
Fefe will be sleeping with you tonight." "Yes," whispered Wanda, "You know that
she is a little scared about the first night in a strange house, even
though it's ours, and despite how she thinks she's such a big
girl." They both grinned at each other.
They turned to their respective rooms, and both noticed something. The glare of the overhead lightbulb beat down on them, and reflected off
the trigger guard of Harrison’s AK-47, hanging out dangerously on the
coffee table. "Well ... you know we'd all feel a little
more secure with my trusty ole rifle hanging around,” Harrison said,
pulling at his moustache, putting on his macho veneer. “It's our first
night in a strange new land, so I brought it along, just to be
sure."
"Sure," said Wanda, "we moved all the
way out here, far away from all the crazies in the city, and you’re
still paranoid? Like there’s crack-heads walking around outside our
yard? You can relax a little now, dear, we’re safe! We made it to the
country, it’s safe here, no criminals. They’re all stoned and drunk,
back there in the city, looking for their next victim. Anyway, just keep
the safety catch secured on that howitzer.” She took a deep breath and
looked a little more relaxed after saying all that. “Oh look out the window,” said Wanda, trying to change the subject, “see that gorgeous moonrise! The country is so peaceful ... but isn't it funny there’s no birds in the yard?” She seemed to tense up again. “I saw them all over the place … when we were driving up the road, they were swarming all above our car … but this back yard seems to be like a dead zone for … where’s the life? Her eyes darted back and forth, from the yard to Harrison, revealing her trepidation. "Oh, I'm sure we'll see some of our feathered
friends tomorrow, surely
our hawk friend will come again,” assured
Harrison. “You know we just got us a piece of heaven on earth!"
he added to ease her tension. They both hugged each other and whirled around in joy.
"You better go rest so you can get up
tomorrow,” said Wanda. “Gotta go back to the crazy city and get our
stuff."
"You're right as usual, you little worry
wart," he said as he kissed Wanda lightly on the cheek, grabbed his
AK-47 and a blanket just as Phelia returned.
The cool autumn night seemed to usher in the Bolinas
ocean breeze … and the night fog crept up along the cliffs like a
cat's-paw. As Harrison stoked up the fire, he gazed out the dark windows
into the moonlight, and his attention riveted on the ominous patch of
trees. Staring out the window for a moment … he turned to sit on the
sofa and started to write. No better time now to get my two and a
half pages a day in, he thought. Here was Harrison’s moment of triumph. Ah, to drink deeply in the lake of supreme satisfaction! That gut feeling of the essence of a real man, knowing that sustentation is granted to his dependants! To give wife and children a lasting security in the midst of a vile world! He can finally sit back and breath easy for a change. They had arrived at last, into homestead security, free of tribulations, full of lasting peace and love. Maybe more time to finish my long belabored novel, he thought. As he wrote, he drifted off into a restless sleep. His pencil and paper dropped to the floor and the fire simmered down. Phelia snuggled up close to her mother like a new-born kitten and began to meow about her left-behind friends.
Oh well, she thought, I have my plans, and
mom has her plans, and God always has His last word on it all. And
then she experienced a rare regurgitation of education, gleaned in her
checkered career of impersonating a high school student, and vaguely
remembered some old Steinbeck line, [or was it Shakespear?], she
thought, Oh well, what ever, or whoever said it, she was still
thinking, the plans of mice and men …yeah, that’s the line I was
trying to remember… yeah, I’m the mouse all right …you can
definitely say that I’m the mouse in this fairy tale…that’s for
sure … and ole Tom’s right around the corner... Wanda brushed back her blonde hair lovingly and
soothed her with soft, reassuring words, "Don't worry, honey,
you'll make new friends. Besides, we won't be moving anymore, either.
Dad's made us a solemn vow. He just wants some quiet to finish his
novel. Let's give it a good go. No pain, no gain. All of us must have
something to complete by being here."
"Ma, Dad still writing his first novel. He began
about fifteen years ago, before I was born..." Phelia scowled.
"Now, now, Fefe, don't be so hard on Dad. He's
worked hard in jobs he doesn't like for years. Give ’m a break. He’s
tried hard to make a home for you kids. We thought the San Francisco
scene might be like the 60's, fun-loving, flower-empowering, and
inspiring. Well surprise, it wasn’t, cause things always seem to
change in time. So, it's a higher source that has brought us here. Let
it go, tonight, Fefe, just go to sleep little Fefe, and dream sweet
dreams…."
Phelia was already drifting asleep, bored and tired
from the hectic day ... and so she was not so annoyed by the sing-song
voice of her mother … not as much as usual. “…Just go to sleep little Fefe, and dream sweet
dreams ... little Fefe girl … dream
of a better world..."
Phelia’s annoyed facial expression soon melted into that misty
area of trance, somewhere there between sleep and wakefulness, as Wanda
crooned on and on, “dream of a better world, my child, dream of a
higher world….” Jeb, well, he was pretty much the same old Jeb, wherever he was fated to be. In a bustling city, or in some two-horse poe-dunk town, he was invariably on the same path, always in quest for the figmental kismet, known as the philosopher’s stone. Right now he was the young man of the family, looking for the right college to enter, having several scholarship offers. His skills at the books and writing final exam papers was all in tow, but his aim in life was often a mystery to his concerned parents. Scarce to find a practical bone in his body, he was way too sagacious to the transparent lies of this vaporous world, and wasn’t about to volunteer for a life of menial servitude. He looked up at his wall and imagined where would be
a good spot to put up his favorite Nietzsche quote: "But all joy
wants eternity - wants deep, deep, deep eternity!" It was a quaint
little room with low ceilings and disgusting blue rug. He attempted to
dive deep into “Beyond Good and Evil,” and then he fell victim to
somnolence as he sank into a deep snooze, after reverentially clutching
the book to his chest.
He grabbed the AK-47 and bolted out the back door
into the dark night air. Diving to the ground, rifle in hands, he
crawled forward on all fours, making ground move under him as he
advanced toward the enemy.
AK-47 slugs exploded on trunks of rotted trees, spraying chunks
and splinters in all directions. Some
shells found flesh and bone as shrill animal cries ululated about the
night air, issuing thunder claps of fear and pain.
She remained still, protecting her unborn, when a
shock of bullets burst upon her tail …and the blast rang in her ears.
A strange glow of fierce animosity seemed to radiate from her womb, as
if the unborn kitten knew of the attempted assassination and was furious
and spitting rank revenge upon his foes.
"I don't know! I thought he went to bed with you all! Jeb
screamed out, puzzled and angry.
Wanda looked but couldn't see anything.
"Dad! Dad!" Phelia yelled out and began
running into the dark air.
"Fefe, come back here, girl! Good God, what's
going on?" Wanda began to cry and shout.
Jeb ran into the yard, right behind Phelia. He shot
past her and caught Harrison around the neck, and the projectile force
of his body shook the AK-47 loose, and it dropped on the ground.
Both went tumbling on the ground. Then Jeb jumped to his feet and
howled to Harrison, "Dad! Dad! Wake up! Hey, Dad! It's me, Jeb and
Mom and Fefe!" Jeb kept screaming and shaking Harrison, who kept
mumbling as Jeb pulled him back to the porch.
* * *
|
email- vishoka@jayananda.net |