||Other.Shit|| |
+[ somewhere between love + madness lies obsession ]+ |
"Thank God I have this ugly fat body for which to focus on and hate and spend all my time trying to fix, change, lessen. Thank God for exercise machines, and diet pills. Thank God for weightloss. Thank God I can try and fix the outside because I just know that the inside is beyond repair." ~ |
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Nothing, nothing’s wrong, and asking is against the rules. Crying is against the rules too. You're strong, don’t let them break you. They’re trying to destroy you. Do.Not.Break |
heres a message to ya'll kiss my ass i hate you all all ur pretend the lies that never end and the damn backstabbing friends I hate you and ur dog to you all think ur so cool ur really just a bunch of fools your all copy cats i'd like to hit u with a baseball bat u treat me like dirt and i act like it dont hurt I'm sick of lieing im sick of standing by you think ur all bad ass let me step up to bat all hells gonna break loose on all of you I'll hurt ur pride I'll make u cry now you'll see what its like to be me |
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Love makes me slice my wrist I've gotten so attached I cant resist Love makes me want to cry I've been used so long I cant deny Love rips my heart in two Leaving sad thoughts that just consume Love keeps my mind in knots Entangling such pain I cant go on Love creeps into my soul Cutting everything leaving me cold Love is a sick diease Slowly I'm dying and I couldnt see Love makes life into a sin I'm always left alone inside my head Love is a poison that seems to stay It eats away my life and leaves me so gray... |
im all alone here, in my mind my thoughts to you are confined you dont really know the real me inside im screaming for someone to see that im not at all the person I pretend to be you may think im trying to make an impression you cant see that im going through depression but no one can hear my screams my life isnt like it seems im all alone here, just by myself oh god please help me why must this be i see the flow of dark crimson red and my heart fills with dread my thoughs are filled with death and soon i would take my last breath you should of listend you should of cared its too late for my life to be spared the cuts are deep and true my tears flow and my thoughts are of you you could see i wasnt the same,why didnt you ask why did I have to wear such a mask |
A hidden secret That's not to be found A secret so special It'll go to the ground Revealed to the dark Where no one will see A little bit added To please only me When there's people around It's hidden away Safe under the fabric Is where it will stay Physical evidence To prove it is there But mental addiction Is harder to bear It's a nightly chore But a pleasurable one All day is spent waiting With no rest 'till it's done |
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The deep dark hole of the unknown, no one dares go there, not seen a glimpse of light, since the day it were born. A way of life, nothing’s wrong. Nothing’s ever wrong, but how to define the word wrong? |
Be a lady dont be a baby never frown turn it upside down never get mad never let them know ur sad Be a lady thats all i hear everywhere will they let me be let me be me? is that so much to ask instead of wearing this mask i guess it will never be i wanna scream sometimes i wanna be mean but never go crazy be a lady what about me? thats someone no one wants to see be a lady be a lady |
Every die passes and I want to cry. Tommorow will appear slowly and I'll still want to die. You can't possibly know what it's like to be me No one can truley see I feel as I'm falling, sinking in despair One day it will be over, an anwser to my prayer One day soon all of it will end. The pain, the fears, and the tears But today I have to go on. Nothing will change. It never changes. Ask yourself why Why am I like this Why cant I just be normal. Why do I still want to die It feels like I just woke up from a nightmare.Always, thats what my days are like. Im living in the fear of pain. It will be over soon. I wont bother to explain. |
to my boyfriends being fat is a sin so i stay thin all for him i dont eat for dayz so afraid of what he will say afraid of how mauch i will weigh how much i will gain my friends say im pale and i look so frail cant they tell how much i fear that scale i'm fat and i hate that they say im skinny dont they see they must be lieing to me cause im fat as can be |
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Slice my wrists Cut me up It don't matter Im still fucked up Take a gun To my head Just shoot me now I'm better off dead Finish me off Kill me quick I'll go to hell Knowing your a dick You'll never change The way I think Watch me as I slowly sink Into this living Hell of mine I hope your Life is fucking fine Now that I'm Deep down in hell You'll live your life Inside this cell Knowing you should Have probley stopped What you could In the end Now just help me finish My last sin. |
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I don't want you and I don't need you don't bother to resist, I'll beat you. It's not your fault that you're always wrong the weak ones are there to justify the strong |
I had a dream of you last night You held me in your arms You shielded me from the pain of yesterday You protected me from the world's harms I had a dream we were together Walking along the shore We were smiling, we were happy You weren't crying anymore I tried so hard to relieve your pain And once again make you smile No matter how I said it You only grinned for a little while I attempted to dry your tears And take away your sorrow Every night I went to bed Hoping you'd be there tomorrow I cried so hard when you left me When you left your life behind My heart sank into my stomach My love, I could not find I had a dream of you last night You were smiling; back with me I had a dream of your hapiness Something that can no longer be If I could go back and say a few words I know they would not be enough I cried so hard, I hated you Why couldn't you be tough? No matter how many tears My eyes do shed They can't ever bring you back Awake from the dead So I'll cry now and I'll cry forever You never knew how much you'd be missed All you cared about was your death Up until the day you slit your wrist |
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Never |
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Dont tell me that God loves me. If there was a God, I wouldn't be living in such a hell. |
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emotional suicide. i came to the conclusion today that i'm dying not that it's news to me or to anyone it's just a fact of life. but i'm not the same as i was in fact, i'm practically skin and bones i don't know where my flesh has gone why my cheeks are so sunken or why my clothes are all too large. every morning i wake up and wish i could stay asleep am i tired? no, not really. slumber is a form of escape. i look in the mirror and my eyes look so tired and the smile has gone from my face and all the tears i've cried do absolutely nothing for me. i thought those little pills i thought they would change all of this i thought perhaps just maybe they'd help me remember how to smile but no they haven't. i'm used to feeling this way the sadness it's not as bad as it seems it's comforting, in a way like rain in the afternoon a sense of security. but i came to the conclusion today that i'm dying a slow emotional suicide. |
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Stranger stop and cast an eye. As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so you shall be. Prepare for death and follow me. |
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All is still, covered in gloom. There is a sense of impending doom. Heavy, stifling silence looms, Save for the moans in the empty rooms. Moans, moans, Murmuring and groans, Whispering in low, stifled tones, The murmuring grow to a towering crescendo, Taking over my mind, my body, my soul… Moans, groans of wandering ghouls, The iron bells begin to toll. That's the signal, that's the sign, Seven times, then eight, then nine, A new sound joins in, a mournful whine. On my flesh they're waiting to dine. The screams start, wailing in the night, I whirl around, nothing's in sight. I see a fire, a bright light, Burning, burning, shining bright. Seeking to kill, seeking to devour, A burning, fierce, unquenched desire. The flames leap higher, higher and higher, Of its game it never tires. The screams wail, piercing my head, Blurring my mind so I can't think straight. Their hunger they seek to satiate… Grisly images they create. The demons leap out from the flames so hot, Their devilish horns twisted in knots. The air is filled with the stench of rot, Their ugly appearances leaves much to be sought They pounce on me, their claws outstretched, I kneel on the ground and start to retch, My clothes and my flesh are torn to shreds… My blood flows out, a bright, rich red. I lie helplessly, naked and alone, Save for the demonic creatures crushing my bones. The screams around me, screams in the night, All before the fire bright. |
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||+Days are just a blink of an eye in the endless face of time +|| |
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"I am your butter and your bread. The voice that's in your head. I'll take you in and fill you up with a lack of being fed" |
I've felt the hate rise up in me... Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves... I wander out where u can't see... Inside my shell, i wait and bleed... |
Shot through the heart And you're to blame Darlin' you give love a bad name An angel's smile is what you sell You promise me heaven, then put me through hell Chains of love got a hold on me When passion's a prison, you can't break free You're a loaded gun There's nowhere to run No one can save me The damage is done Shot through the heart And you're to blame You give love a bad name I play my part and you play your game You give love a bad name You give love a bad name You fake the smile on your lips Dried blood on your fingertips A school girls's dream, you act so shy Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye You're a loaded gun There's nowhere to run No one can save me The damage is done Shot through the heart And you're to blame You give love a bad name I play my part and you play your game You give love a bad name You give love... You give love a bad name |
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You are misunderstood. People never see the real you, only the outer persona which is often very different from your true self. You have problems with hostility, and have difficulty understanding yourself. You vent outward, because you fear looking inside yourself for the true root of the problem. You need to understand yourself in order to be understood by others. |