||Other.Shit||
+[ somewhere between love + madness lies obsession ]+
"Thank God I have this ugly fat body for which to focus on and hate and spend all my time trying to fix, change, lessen. Thank God for exercise machines, and diet pills. Thank God for weightloss. Thank God I can try and fix the outside because I just know that the inside is beyond repair." ~
Nothing, nothing’s wrong, and asking is against the rules. Crying is against the rules too. You're strong, don’t let them break you. They’re trying to destroy you. Do.Not.Break
heres a message to ya'll
kiss my ass
i hate you all
all ur pretend
the lies that never end
and the damn backstabbing friends
I hate you
and ur dog to
you all think ur so cool
ur really just a bunch of fools
your all copy cats
i'd like to hit u with a baseball bat
u treat me like dirt
and i act like it dont hurt
I'm sick of lieing
im sick of standing by
you think ur all bad ass
let me step up to bat
all hells gonna break loose
on all of you
I'll hurt ur pride
I'll make u cry
now you'll see
what its like to be me
Love makes me slice my wrist
I've gotten so attached I cant resist
Love makes me want to cry
I've been used so long I cant deny
Love rips my heart in two
Leaving sad thoughts that just consume
Love keeps my mind in knots
Entangling such pain I cant go on
Love creeps into my soul
Cutting everything leaving me cold
Love is a sick diease
Slowly I'm dying and I couldnt see
Love makes life into a sin
I'm always left alone inside my head
Love is a poison that seems to stay
It eats away my life and leaves me so gray...
Home
im all alone here, in my mind
my thoughts to you are confined
you dont really know the real me
inside im screaming for someone to see
that im not at all the person I pretend to be
you may think im trying to make an impression
you cant see that im going through depression
but no one can hear my screams
my life isnt like it seems
im all alone here, just by myself
oh god please help me
why must this be
i see the flow of dark crimson red
and my heart fills with dread
my thoughs are filled with death
and soon i would take my last breath
you should of listend you should of cared
its too late for my life to be spared
the cuts are deep and true
my tears flow and my thoughts are of you
you could see i wasnt the same,why didnt you ask
why did I have to wear such a mask
A hidden secret
That's not to be found
A secret so special
It'll go to the ground
Revealed to the dark
Where no one will see
A little bit added
To please only me
When there's people around
It's hidden away
Safe under the fabric
Is where it will stay
Physical evidence
To prove it is there
But mental addiction
Is harder to bear
It's a nightly chore
But a pleasurable one
All day is spent waiting
With no rest 'till it's done

The deep dark hole of the unknown,
no one dares go there,
not seen a glimpse of light,
since the day it were born.
A way of life, nothing’s wrong.
Nothing’s ever wrong,
but how to define the word wrong?
Be a lady
dont be a baby
never frown
turn it upside down
never get mad
never let them know ur sad
Be a lady
thats all i hear
everywhere
will they let me be
let me be me?
is that so much to ask
instead of wearing this mask
i guess it will never be
i wanna scream
sometimes i wanna be mean
but
never go crazy
be a lady
what about me?
thats someone no one wants to see
be a lady
be a lady
Every die passes and I want to cry.
Tommorow will appear slowly and I'll still want to die.
You can't possibly know what it's like to be me
No one can truley see
I feel as I'm falling, sinking in despair
One day it will be over, an anwser to my prayer
One day soon all of it will end. The pain, the fears, and the tears
But today I have to go on. Nothing will change. It never changes. Ask yourself why
Why am I like this Why cant I just be normal. Why do I still want to die
It feels like I just woke up from a nightmare.Always, thats what my days are like. Im living in the fear of pain.
It will be over soon. I wont bother to explain.
to my boyfriends
being fat is a sin
so i stay thin
all for him
i dont eat for dayz
so afraid of what he will say
afraid of how mauch i will weigh
how much i will gain
my friends say im pale
and i look so frail
cant they tell
how much i fear that scale
i'm fat
and i hate that
they say im skinny
dont they see
they must be lieing to me
cause im fat as can be
Slice my wrists
Cut me up
It don't matter
Im still fucked up
Take a gun
To my head
Just shoot me now
I'm better off dead
Finish me off
Kill me quick
I'll go to hell
Knowing your a dick
You'll never change
The way I think
Watch me as
I slowly sink
Into this living
Hell of mine
I hope your
Life is fucking fine
Now that I'm
Deep down in hell
You'll live your life
Inside this cell
Knowing you should
Have probley stopped
What you could
In the end
Now just help me finish
My last sin.
I don't want you and I don't need you
don't bother to resist, I'll beat you.
It's not your fault that you're always wrong
the weak ones are there to justify the strong
I had a dream of you last night
You held me in your arms
You shielded me from the pain of yesterday
You protected me from the world's harms

I had a dream we were together
Walking along the shore
We were smiling, we were happy
You weren't crying anymore

I tried so hard to relieve your pain
And once again make you smile
No matter how I said it
You only grinned for a little while

I attempted to dry your tears
And take away your sorrow
Every night I went to bed
Hoping you'd be there tomorrow

I cried so hard when you left me
When you left your life behind
My heart sank into my stomach
My love, I could not find

I had a dream of you last night
You were smiling; back with me
I had a dream of your hapiness
Something that can no longer be

If I could go back and say a few words
I know they would not be enough
I cried so hard, I hated you
Why couldn't you be tough?

No matter how many tears
My eyes do shed
They can't ever bring you back
Awake from the dead

So I'll cry now and I'll cry forever
You never knew how much you'd be missed
All you cared about was your death
Up until the day you slit your wrist
Never
Dont tell me that God loves me. If there was a God, I wouldn't be living in such a hell.
emotional suicide.

i came to the conclusion today
that i'm dying
not that it's news to me
or to anyone
it's just a fact of life.
but i'm not the same as i was
in fact, i'm practically skin and bones
i don't know where my flesh has gone
why my cheeks are so sunken
or why my clothes are all too large.
every morning i wake up
and wish i could stay asleep
am i tired?
no, not really.
slumber is a form of escape.
i look in the mirror and my eyes look so tired
and the smile has gone from my face
and all the tears i've cried
do absolutely nothing for me.
i thought those little pills
i thought they would change all of this
i thought perhaps
just maybe
they'd help me remember how to smile
but no
they haven't.
i'm used to feeling this way
the sadness
it's not as bad as it seems
it's comforting, in a way
like rain in the afternoon
a sense of security.
but i came to the conclusion today
that i'm dying
a slow emotional suicide.
Stranger stop and cast an eye. As you are now, so once was I.


As I am now, so you shall be. Prepare for death and follow me.
All is still, covered in gloom.
There is a sense of impending doom.
Heavy, stifling silence looms,
Save for the moans in the empty rooms.
Moans, moans,
Murmuring and groans,
Whispering in low, stifled tones,
The murmuring grow to a towering crescendo,
Taking over my mind, my body, my soul…
Moans, groans of wandering ghouls,
The iron bells begin to toll.
That's the signal, that's the sign,
Seven times, then eight, then nine,
A new sound joins in, a mournful whine.
On my flesh they're waiting to dine.
The screams start, wailing in the night,
I whirl around, nothing's in sight.
I see a fire, a bright light,
Burning, burning, shining bright.
Seeking to kill, seeking to devour,
A burning, fierce, unquenched desire.
The flames leap higher, higher and higher,
Of its game it never tires.
The screams wail, piercing my head,
Blurring my mind so I can't think straight.
Their hunger they seek to satiate…
Grisly images they create.
The demons leap out from the flames so hot,
Their devilish horns twisted in knots.
The air is filled with the stench of rot,
Their ugly appearances leaves much to be sought
They pounce on me, their claws outstretched,
I kneel on the ground and start to retch,
My clothes and my flesh are torn to shreds…
My blood flows out, a bright, rich red.
I lie helplessly, naked and alone,
Save for the demonic creatures crushing my bones.
The screams around me, screams in the night,
All before the fire bright.
||+Days are just a blink of an eye in the endless face of time +||
"I am your butter and your bread. The voice that's in your head. I'll take you in and fill you up with a lack of being fed"
I've felt the hate rise up in me...

Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves...

I wander out where u can't see...

Inside my shell, i wait and bleed...
Shot through the heart
And you're to blame
Darlin' you give love a bad name


An angel's smile is what you sell
You promise me heaven, then put me through hell
Chains of love got a hold on me
When passion's a prison, you can't break free


You're a loaded gun
There's nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done
Shot through the heart


And you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
You give love a bad name


You fake the smile on your lips
Dried blood on your fingertips
A school girls's dream, you act so shy
Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye

You're a loaded gun
There's nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done

Shot through the heart
And you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
You give love...

You give love a bad name
You're
36%
pure

You are misunderstood. People never see the real you, only the outer persona which is often very different from your true self. You have problems with hostility, and have difficulty understanding yourself. You vent outward, because you fear looking inside yourself for the true root of the problem. You need to understand yourself in order to be understood by others.
Your song is: The Test that Stumped Them All
You are misunderstood. People never see the real you, only the outer persona which is often very different from your true self. You have problems with hostility, and have difficulty understanding yourself. You vent outward, because you fear looking inside yourself for the true root of the problem. You need to understand yourself in order to be understood by others.