NOTE: The composition was given to me by a former lover back in Manila, Philippines. The names of people and places in the story has been changed to protect their privacy.

  “Never ever be afraid of falling in love. It is the best feeling in the world. You might fall with the wrong person, in the wrong place and time. But sometimes, it is the feeling that makes it right.”

Long Way to Reach You

  I was hooked to the Internet last April 7 and searched for some songs at MP3.com. But due to some uncontrollable circumstances, downloading was slow. I decided to get connected to Yahoo Messenger and picked the name VIVOVALENTINO. We had a nice chat and he even showed me his body through web camera. But that didn’t really impress me. I thought he was just another horny and desperate guy looking for a sex partner to release his sperm with. Still, he asked for my number and told me he’ll call later at 1:30 AM. Unfortunately, I battled with sleepiness until 2:30 AM but I never heard anything from him so I decided to sleep and never deal with such man without a word. He tried to reach me at 6:30 AM while I was in my good sleep. I got pissed and didn’t answer the call because of the heavy headache I was experiencing that time. He called again at around 12:30 PM of April 8. That was our first time to talk over the phone and I can tell that we conversed well. And once more, he said he’ll call back at 3:00 PM but then again, he made me wait. I really hate waiting long so to cope with the disappointment I was feeling that time, I called my friends and let them pick me at my house. While I’m having coffee and some beer with them, Vivo called me again and asked where I was because he wanted to call me over the landline. I said I was out of the house and just call later. I don’t know why I didn’t say no despite the fact that he doesn’t keep his promises. I just felt that I also wanted to talk with him and get to know him. I returned home around 9:35 PM and upon reaching our door, I asked my mom if I can borrow her mobile phone. I sent a message to Vivo and told him I was already inside the house. He called and the feeling was extremely unique. The funny thing about it was that we were already talking about having a relationship when in reality we haven’t even met. However, though it felt different, I didn’t believe that much because I still don’t have enough idea who the hell he is. The funnier thing is that the call got disconnected. Don’t ask why! The next day, he called me and requested me to go with him in his birthday celebration with his friends in Los Baños, Laguna. I was thinking twice that time whether to go or not to go. I decided to go and lie about it to my dad. I’m not really a good liar. Excellent thing was that I managed to get his permission by just telling him that I’ll go to an overnight party with my college friends in Pampanga. In a few minutes, I found myself riding a bus heading to Bulacan. While waiting for him (AGAIN), I had a taste of being harassed by two middle-aged guys. I just ignored the fear.  Unluckily, Vivo wasn’t able to locate me so we decided to meet in front of Burger King at SM North EDSA.

I must confess that the moment I met him at exactly 7:34 PM of April 9, I was mesmerized by his skin, his height, and his face. But I didn’t make it obvious to him so as to avoid being branded as an assuming guy. I can still recall our first, unofficial kiss while he was driving along EDSA heading to South Express Way. Then there was silence. At that moment, I had this unusual feeling about him driving the wheels and me sitting in the passenger’s seat. One can’t imagine how long I’ve gone just to be beside him. I was happy. Really happy.

The Difference between Simple Kissing and Kissing With Feelings

  We were heading to Los Baños and we were talking about everything. But the moment he started talking about his former partner, I can’t help but feel bothered and uncomfortable. I don’t know why I felt that way that time. I was trying to think of something else and negate the awful commotion I was having inside. Well, I just concluded that Vivo still loves his ex. With that, I told myself never to fall in-love with him. When we are already near the place, he stopped the car. He looked at me in the eyes and asked for a kiss. We kissed. I felt his body heat. I tasted his saliva. No matter how much I tried to fight with my emotions, I ended up kissing passionately. I kissed him with feelings.

Uncomfortable but Heavenly

  The party was OK. We ate some good tilapia, adobo, some red wine and hard liquor. He told his friends that we’re cousins. But later in the night, they were already thinking about something else. What they were thinking was right. It’s just that only Dana and Tricia knows the truth because Vivo avoids being scandalized.

After swimming in the pool, his friends went to the shower and saw the two of us puffing the same cigar. Their speculations got clearer. But then again, only Dana and Tricia know the truth.

We stayed in the pool for a few minutes and talked. After that, we hit the shower and decided to sleep in the car. However, we weren’t able to sleep. We talked. The next thing I know, we were kissing each other’s lips and touching each other’s body. I felt his smooth chest. His firm arms fought with mine. I rubbed the thing between his legs. He also rubbed mine. Both got harder and harder and harder. I went down. It was intense. I wanted to scream. I wanted to tell the whole world how awesome the sensation I was feeling that time.  I tasted him and it was definitely mouth-watering. He started holding me tight. We held our firearms and rubbed it as fast as we can. In time, we both felt the bliss of orgasm. We hugged. We kissed. It was a good. Totally. 

What the Hell Did You Feed Me? / Doubts Are Weak (I Hope So)

  Vivo drove until Pampanga. He asked me if he can sleep in our place for just an hour. I said yes. Vivo and I had some wacky moments together on our way to Pampanga. He got fascinated by the sky in Pampanga. And he was fascinated. Upon reaching Pampanga, we went straight to two of my best friends. He met Andrea and Belinda. Both of them liked him. We also went to the hanging bridge in our place. One thing I liked about him is that he knows how to appreciate nature.

We reached our house and I introduced him to my mom as a classmate in UP. I lied once again. I asked him to stay until the next day and what’s nice was that he agreed. He slept until 3:00 PM of April 10. It was his birthday. And he spent it with me. It was sweet. In return, I gave him a story. He inspired me.

He loves daring me. He’s a devil!

By 8:30 PM, we went out of the house and introduced him to my friends. They liked him because he’s natural. He’s not the trying hard type of guy who loves to brag about the things he have. He’s simple. He’s almost everything.

Later that evening, we decided to go to the port and see the sky and the beach. We talked with two of my good friends, Dindo and Richie. I heard his view about relationships and honestly, I was not happy about some of the things I heard. Vivo loves to have sex. And he loves to do it with anybody he wanted as long as he’s horny. Vivo is aggressive. Vivo is the sensual kind. I started to get frightened. I began to build doubts in him. My heart was beating fast that time. I’m afraid of losing him.

We dropped my friends and the two of us were left in the car. It was around 2 AM. He was horny. I felt the high temperature inside his car. When we reached home, we cleaned up and just suddenly saw ourselves kissing each other. There was a huge amount of friction between the two of us. Even though I’m tired, I can’t resist him. My mind was telling me that I’m exhausted but my heart and soul told me to do it for in a few hours, he’ll be leaving for Las Piñas. We didn’t let the time pass without doing it. I sensed his eagerness. We took off our clothes. He started playing with my chest. I touched his solid sword. Then I tasted it. He tasted mine either. Afterwards, we were both going through each other. Suddenly, we stopped. My dad went to the comfort room. We waited until he closed the door of their room. We resumed. He started kissing my neck. It tickled me down to my nerves. His hands moved up and down. Then down. Then down. It went inside me. I felt  pain. Following that incident, he began pushing his sword inside me. That was extremely painful. I wanted to shout but I can’t. I wanted to push him but I don’t want him to get hurt. I wanted to say no but I wasn’t able to tell him. I wanted him to end but he was unstoppable. He exploded. I exploded next. I went to the comfort room. I somewhat cried because I saw some blood spots. I haven’t done that in almost two years that’s why. He was the second guy who did that to me. I continued crying. I cleaned up myself and went to the room. He then went to the comfort room. I continued crying while I was smoking. The moment I knew he was coming inside, I wiped my tears. He asked me if I was OK. I was speechless. I wasn’t OK. He kissed my lips. It gave me some sense of relief. We went to bed. But before we went to sleep, I told him for the first that I love him. I really did. His arms covered me. Once again, his lips touched mine. At that moment, I felt safe. I felt secured. I hope I was right.

Can’t Get Enough of You Baby

  I was impressed by the fact that my mom and my dad was at ease to him. They liked him more compared to my other friends. It made me truly blissful. Amusingly he even threatened me of telling my mom about us or kissing me in front of my folks. What the hell did he do to my family? What the hell did he do to me? I can’t get enough of him. Now the world knows I’m in love with him. I realized that it’s easy to find someone to have sex with. But it’s not everyday you’ll find someone to love. It would never be easy to find someone to love. The truth is: there are a lot of things to defy when it comes to love. I am insane I know.  Sometimes I’m stupid. But I would rather be like that than never experience how to love. I would rather be crazy for the rest of my life just to be with you.