How would we cope?Our living conditions weren't exactly great either,and i know they cause fights between me and .
I guess i'd better enlighten you all right?Well here's how it is.
My name's .I'm 19 year's old and i'm currently dating an amazing guy called .Ok so maybe he's not quite amazing,but his heart is in the right place.
I've been seeing since i was in secondary school.Yeah i know what you're all thinking.We're just kids right?We're just some stupid childhood sweethearts that got together when we were 16.Well that parts true,and i know what else you're thinking.Childhood sweethearts never last.But you're wrong.Ok i agree,there was once a tiny ounce of doubt about 's commitment in this relationship,but now i know he's the one.Do you know why?Because i'm pregnant!That's right,in 9 months time me and are going to be parents.Man that's so scary to say.I hadn't really thought about it,all that mattered was how took it.This is how i know really loves me.He was just so supportive when i told him about the baby.Everything that he said to me was 100% positive.And that's how i know this relationship will work.Sure has done some bad things in the past,but we all do things we regret.And i've forgiven him anyway,as far as i'm concerned,nothing ever happened.
Yeah there's still the living conditions though.That's something we will have to work on.I suppose i should tell you about that as well.
I have a friend.Well actually four friends,but one of them is my best friend.Y'know my rock,the one that's always been there,no matter how early in the morning.His name is .
And that's where the problems begin to flow.
Me and don't really have much money. is still living with his parents,and there's barely anough space for his dog to live in that flat to be honest.
And me and my parents aren't exactly on speaking terms right now.But if you don't mind,i don't really want to talk about that.All i can say is they made their decision,and they've done pretty good for themselves,now that i'm out of the picture.Now that i'm not dragging them down,and ruining their perfect image.
I live with .Well i live with and his flatmates/bandmates.Yeah if you hadn't guessed by now,i'm talking about the .You know the totally gorgeous dude from that really great band McFLY?
doesn't know about the baby yet,and i'm pretty nervous about telling him.The thing is,he doesn't like .There's not many people that do really,but really doesn't like .He hates him with a passion.
I was sprawled out on the living room sofa,my hand carefully placed on top of my non exsistant bump.I wasn't really looking foward to growing a bump either,what if i never got my figure back?Would still love me if i was an elephant for the rest of my life?
I heard a sound and turned my head toward the door. 's chessy smiled gleemed back at me.On seeing this i couldn't help but giggle.
"Oi lazy,quit hogging the sofa!" ordered as he forced my head up and sat where it lay a few seconds before.
" !I was comfortable there."I pouted,laying my head back on his lap.
"Well now i'm comfortable here."He poked his tongue out at me and my poting soon turned into laughing.It was impossible to stay mad at him.
"Why are you being so lazy today anyhow?" asked,using his fingers to play with my hair.
"Just feel like it."I shrugged.
"Well you'd better get up soon before you get fat."
My eyes widened slightly,but i slowly raised myself off the sofa.Didn't really make much difference.I was going to get fat no matter how much i exercised/didn't laze around on the sofa all day!
I walked through into the kitchen where i found making a sandwhich.He smiled in recognition of my precense,then returned to his sandwhich.
I watched intently as he piled up the bread with savoury treats.First a layer of butter,then marmite.Then ham,lettuce,tomatoe and mustard followed by grated cheese and crunched up crisps.
My stomach growled and my mouth started to fill with salivor.
It was strange.I didn't even like most of the contents of the sandwhich,but right now i wanted nothing more.This must be a craving then eh? i thought to myself.
placed the dirty knife in the sink and wandered over to the small table,where he sat opposite me.
He grinned and then bit into the beast of a 'snack'.My stomach tunred,and i felt my mouth brimming with vomit.I cluched my stomach and placed my free hand over my mouth,jumping off the chair and rushing down the hallway,in search of a toilet.I banged into on the way who called after me.Could i keep this a secret any longer?
" ?Are you alright?"I heard 's voice from the other side of the bathroom door.
I opened my mouth to try and get rid of him, tell him i was fine, but a trail of vomit finished off my sentence, proving to i clearly wasn't ok.
" ? listen.I'm worried about you.You're obviously ill, you should see a doctor."
I spat the toothpaste out of my mouth and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.One quick glance in the mirror and i noticed i looked a state.My mascara (being the only make-up i had put on that day) had left lines where my tears had fallen.My hair (which hadn't been brushed today) was a greasy, tangled mess.And my face was white.Completely drained of colour.
I unlocked the bathroom door, took a deep breath, and then opened it. 's expression on his face immediately changed the second he set eyes on me.
"Woah, babe.I think you need to see a doctor now."
I looked up at him gravely.I was thankful for him being worried about me, but i knew what was wrong with me.I didn't need to see a doctor.I'd already been.It was all confirmed.
I placed my hand against his cheek and looked deep into his eyes.My eyes connected with his and i began to feel my heart beating quicker.As i searched his eyes i noticed a spark, which grew ever brighter the more i searched.My skin began to burn and pulse started to race.I felt like i was on fire, and yet it felt so good.So natural.So pleasureable.
I stopped eye contact and looked down at the floor.I simply kissed on the cheek before walking into my bedroom.
I closed the door behind me and settled down on my bed.I switched the tv on, and let my eyes rest on the television screen.Although i was completely oblivious to what was happening on it.
What exactly had i just felt?Why didn't i feel it now?Was i having feelings for ? I gasped out loud as the last thought hit me.Why would i think that? was my best friendI couldn't have sexual feelings towards him, could i?
I padded downstairs the next morning, pulling 's hoody over me and covering my hands with the oversized sleeves.
I pushed the door open a little and made my entrance by wearily walking in and placing myself down on 's lap.
"Hey sleepy head!Had a good night sleep?" asked me, wrapping his arms around my stomach.
I immdeiately felt uneasy and tensed up.I didn't know if it was due to the baby, or fear of my feelings.
"Yeah...it was alright."
"I'm glad you like my hoody so much .Were you actually intending on giving it back?" laughed as i rolled my eyes at him.
He should have known by now that he wasn't going to get it back.I'd borrowed it within the first month of meeting him - almost 2 years ago, and hadn't given it back since!
"Can i get you breakfast princess?" asked, picking his plate up off the table and gently lifting me off of him.
I sat down on the seat he had just got up from and thought out loud.
"I'll have pancakes, toast, waffles, rice krispies, fruit salad and a cup of tea please."
" turned round and looked at me.
"You're joking right?"
"No."
" .There's no way you'll beable to eat that all by yourself." laughed.
I felt a sudden burst of anger and clenched my fists, trying to keep calm, not wanting to lash out at .
" ...please?"
"I'm not cooking all of that !"
I felt tears sting my eyes and stood up.
"Fine!"I shouted, holding a look of disgust and throwing it at before rushing out of the kitchen.
stared at the empty space in front of him.He was completely shocked.Why was acting like this?It was so unlike her
"That was fierce dude!" commentated.
By now i was in floods of tears.But the reason was unknown. had hardly upset me.And i was purplexed as to why i got so angry.I rolled over, leaning down towards the bottom of my bed, where i fumbled for a few seconds before grasping an item and sitting up in bed.
I had to calm down before i went downstairs to see .Maybe reading would take my mind off of all this stress and start explaining things to me?