I sighed as i put the phone down and stared blankly at the computer screen in front of me.
Another pointless fight.
I'd just had another fight with one of my friends.
At least that's what i thought she was.
Recently, it seemed, we were more like enemies than friends.
This one was like the majourity of them.
She'd accused me of ignoring her when we last met up a few days ago, and had said i was rude and had taken away her best friend from her - who happened to have been my best friend before we broke up earlier that year.
It's complicated i know, but now me and are friends again, but whilst we were temporarily seperated, and became best friends.
I can understand why feels annoyed, and pushed out.
I mean, who am i to run back into 's life and become her best friend again?
felt extremely pushed out, but never bothered to tell me this, and instead put on a brave face and pretended to be good friends with me.
It did kind of suck when it came apparant to me that it had all been a lie, that our friendship was a fantasy, and that she didn't really like me all that much - That she had only pretended to like me in a bid to win over.
Now i find myself caught in the middle.
and are constantly at each other's throats, shouting abuse, blocking each other on msn, refusing to speak to one another and fighting over me.
Well, not exactly over me, more like slags me off and then defends me, which sets off on one majorly.
Of course, we are always the one's in the wrong.
It's never 's fault.
I actually like , but i can't stand the way she manipulates everything to make her look good.
In this fight, was posting bulletins on myspace calling an 'Ugly slag' and worse, and was slagging me off to , which then phoned me up to tell me all about on the phone, whilst i stayed quiet, and just willed to tell me what was wrong, still certain we could make this friendship work.
Because she was a good friend, and she did make me laugh an awful lot.
I jumped as my brother stopped my mind from going over all the bickering in my head.
"Do you ever get off that bloody thing?" He asked, nodding in the direction of my computer.
"Nope. It's addictive this myspace lark. I swear, i need a patch or something. It's worse than nicotine!" I joked.
I smiled as chuckled along at my lame joke.
We had a good relationship, and he was one of the few people in my life i rarely fought with.
He was more of a best friend than a brother, and i loved the way i knew i could count on him no matter what, and if i couldn't i'd just tell mum and she'd tell him to look after his little sister!
's 19 and i'm 17, and although there's only a 2 year age gap, makes sure i know he's older.
He's always acting the part of annoying older brother, and he always manages to annoy me!
stared at me and then began to talk again.
"I just thought i'd let you know, the guys are staying over tonight."
I pulled a face, and before i got a chance to speak had started to speak again.
"Come on . I know they come round here a lot, but their good guys, you always end up having a laugh with them. And I did put up with a house full of girls for a whole weekend when mum and dad were away last. PLEAAAAASE look happier than you do now?" He put on the puppy dog eyes, although he didn't need them.
He'd won me over.
That was one thing i hated about him.
He was so good at persuading me, and i always found myself saying 'I owe you' when he would let me sneak friends round when the rents were out.
His memory was too damn good for my liking!
"Ok." I gave in.
He squeled like a girl in excitement and jumped on me, engulfing me in a huge hug.
It was times like this i was grateful i had .
No friend could ever come between me and him, they'd never even come close.
Mum and dad had gone away for another weekend.
They did it every weekend, and me and would usually sneak a few friends round.
The parentals knew about it really, so technically it wasn't sneaking them around, except we would invite 3 or 4 people at a time, and 2 people would always sleep in our parents bed.
That was something they didn't know about!
This weekend was 's turn, and he invited the usual one's around.
I liked it that way.
It meant i could be more myself around his friends, and didn't have to be all polite and stay in my bedroom the whole night.
Although, that is what i would usually do;
Bum around on the computer all night, until i get bored or tired.
I do go downstairs for food and to be sociable and stuff sometimes.
I pottered down the stairs in a pair of baggy, light grey jogging bottoms, and a hoody that i found left on my bedroom floor.
It was what i would usually sleep in, and it was good enough to laze around the house in.
Besides, it wasn't like there was anyone worth impressing - It was only 's mates!
I walked into the living room where i was met by 4 boys all sprawled out in strange positions either on the sofa, arm chairs or floor, and the television blazing loudly.
None of them were paying much attention to it, they were too busy flicking popcorn at each other, and sending stupid things to each other on bluetooth.
A typical night.
I may as well say hello or they'll think i'm rude or something. I thought to myself.
"Heya" i smiled, as i sat down on the arm of the sofa next to 's head.
I saw him peer up at me.
"Finally made it down here to see us eh?" He joked, making no attempt to move from his position of lying, full length, out on the sofa, taking up all the room to himself.
"Yep." I replied, looking around the room as i found myself bored already.
"Anyway, i'd better go back upstairs. You boys don't want me down here." I stated, as i raised to my feet and turned to walk back upstairs.
"No. , wait! Why don't you hang out with us tonight?" said, finally getting up from his comfortable position on the sofa.
"What?"
The boys never wanted tp spend time with me.
"Yeah. We hardley ever spend time with you, and we feel bad that you're stuck upstairs on the computer whenever we come round." joined in.
"Just stay down here and watch a film with us or something. It's not as if we have anything better to do!" also decided to join in the conversation.
I smiled.
, and had been staying around mine and 's house for years, but i'd never really spent much time with them.
I knew quite a lot about them, from what had told me about them, and when me and were in school they would always take the mickey out of me in a joking way for being 's younger sister.
I was comfortable in their presence and i knew each of their different personalities.
Why not? I'll only spend the rest of the night on msn and myspace anyway. I do that every day. It'll be nice to do something different for a change.
"Ok." I replied.
" you run upstairs and chose 1 film that you want to watch, and we'll chose one down here." ordered, before i made my way upstairs.
"Budge up ." I said, as i walked downstairs, accompanied by my duvet and a pillow.
"Errr...how about no? This is my seat ."
"But there's no where else to sit." I moaned.
laughed.
"Haha, you loser. You lost out just like old boy here did. I guess you'll have to lie down on the floor next to him!" chuckled to himself.
I scowled and gave him a dirty look.
It was times like this that he really irritated me.
loked over at me and smiled, and then patted the empty space on the hard wood floor next to him.
I sighed and stomped slightly over to him, to show he had really annoyed me, and that he would pay when , and left in the morning.
I proceeded to throw my pillow on the floor, and then half threw myself onto the floor, hurting my hip in the process.
I didn't care.
was being ignorant, and i couldn't stand it.
Next i hauled my duvet over me, propped myself up on my elbows, supported by the pillow they were leaning on, and sighed heavily.
" ..."
"Are we watching a film or what?" I snapped at .
"Put her one in first" said quietly to , who looked a little frightened by the situation.
I felt my shoulders fall back, and began to relax a little as Titanic started.
It was becoming a bit of an old classic now, but i really did still love it, and i didn't care how cheesy thought it was.
I didn't hear him complain this time.
I think i'd upset him a little by losing my temper so quickly, but right now i didn't care.
There was too many fights going on in my life, and all i wanted to do right now was list over Leonardo Dicaprio. (Which is not something i usually do by the way. I only really like him in this film and Romeo And Juliet!).
The feeling of my phone vibrating against my stomach distracted me from my thoughts, and the film.
I pulled it out of my hoody pocket and stood up to talk in privacy.
"Hello . I'm not ignoring you. No i'm not. Of course i still like you it's just you...no...how is that my fault? I'm not being funny but that was... ... ...no . Eurgggggh!" I moaned loudly as she hung up on me.
Once again i was being blamed for something that really had nothing to do with me.
I returned to the film and immediately felt myself relaxing again.
A few hours later and Titanic had finished.
I was now crying at the thought of Jack dying, and Rose saying 'I'll never let go'.
I felt a thumb slowly caress my hand underneath the duvet and looked next to me to .
He was smiling sweetly and continued to do this.
Something hit me.
Came over me.
A feeling.
An emotion.
But i didn't know what it was.
All i did know though, was that this didn't feel weird, and that i was completely comfortable with my older brother's friend holding and stroking my hand.
It calmed me down, and made me relax even more.
popped in the next dvd.
It was the boy's choice, and obviously they chose a horror film.
I'm sure boys just to that to scare girls, it's really not fair!
The titles began to roll up onto the tv screen in front of me, and some scary music began to play, which did freak me out slightly.
Just as the titles were about to finish and the film was about to start my phone rang.
I jumped as the vibration once more hit my stomach, and it took me a while to calm myself down and work out that it was my phone ringing, and not some crazed creature biting me or something.
With 's eyes watching my movement, and still holding my hand, i used my spare hand to fish the phone out of my hoody pocket.
I opened my phone without looking at the name that appeared on my phone screen and cringed as i heard screeching down the line.
I looked up at and gave him an apologetic look, before removing my hand from his grip and once more walking out of the room.
I inhaled heavily and put my hand to my cheek.
It felt hot and i could tell i was now a little red in the face.
I was past caring about this argument now.
I was exhausted and was sick of all the tension.
Now i didn't care what she said.
I didn't have the strength to answer back or fight anymore.
Next time she calls, i won't answer!
I loosened the knot in my jogging bottoms, flatened down my hair and pushed open the door.
I sat back down next to , wrapping myself up in my duvet.
" ?" 's voice made my attention turn towards him.
"Yeah?"
"Who was that?"
"Just ."
"You two have had a fight haven't you?" He said, almost as soon as i'd finished my sentence.
The knowing look in his eyes stared straight back at me and felt like i wanted to cry.
I swallowed hard and put a brave face on, but nodded in reply to 's question.
"Come here." ushered me over to the sofa, where he moved up and wrapped his arms around my upper body, whilst kissing the top of my head.
I stayed strong, intending on letting the tears spill later on, in the privacy of my bedroom.
Although, i wasn't quite sure why i had the urge to cry.
I'd had plenty of fights with friends before, maybe this one different.
What if it wasn't a fight?
What if it was a break up?
started to stroke my hair and it reminded me of when was stroking my hand.
I quickly glanced over at him and noticed i had his full attention.
On his face, he had fixated the same apologetic look as i had done before i left the room.
I smiled lightly, sensing that he wanted to be the one to give me a cuddle and make me feel better.
He didn't need to.
The look he was giving me now was enough.
My heart was beating faster than i'd felt it do so before.
Faster than when i ran the 1500 metres for the school sports day, faster than when i had my first kiss and faster than when i received my gcse results.
"You'll be ok ." assured me.
I smiled up at him and then wriggled out of his grasp.
turned his head back to the tv screen as i once again returned to my position under the covers.
Within a few minutes of me settling down and getting comfortable, had taken up his position of holding and stroking my hand once more.
I turned my head to look at him.
His eyes were fixated on the tv screen, but he had a cheeky grin on his face like i've never seen before.
He was obviously enjoying the secrecy of holding hands underneath my duvet cover when was in the same room.
To be honest, it felt a little weird to be holding hands with , but at the same time it felt completely right.
Weird i know!
About half an hour later and i was really getting into the film.
Of course, i was shit scared, but the plot and suspense of the film was really good, and despite my best efforts, i couldn't stop watcing the film.
When i say watch the film, i mean burry my head underneath my duvet, and peek out when i'm certain nothing scary will happen!
It was quite funny to watch at the scary parts though.
Because when i heard a scary sound or something i would squeeze his hand, digging my nails in.
I felt sorry for him as he tried to disguise the obvious looks of pain that spread across his face.
Suddenly, the all too familiar feeling of my phone vibrating on my stomach hit me again.
I started to feel sick.
And annoyed.
I just wanted to be left alone.
I said i would ignore , but i was curious to see if it was her calling me or not.
Once again i fumbled about in my front pocket and pulled out my vibrating phone.
My stomach rose as i saw her name again.
I wasn't upset, i was just irritated.
Why couldn't she just leave me alone for an hour at least?
I haven't been able to watch one film the whole way trough yet, without getting disrupted.
I felt my cheeks burn again, and i was just about to push the green phone button down and tell where to go, when someone did it for me.
"What is your problem? Can't you just leave alone? It doesn't matter who this is, who are you to ruin 's evening by constantly calling her and having a go at her? Go and find someone else to annoy because 's not taking it anymore. She doesn't want you in her life anymore and she's changing her number to make sure she never has to listen to your stupid voice on the phone anymore."
With that hung up.
My mouth opened slightly with shock.
Where had that reaction come from?
shrugged.
"She was ruining the film!"
He handed me back my phone and we both lay down in our usual positions.
Another hour later and the film had finished.
I spent that whole hour staring at .
I had my head under the covers so and the others wouldn't notice.
I know noticed.
Because he kept smirking to himself, and flashing that cheeky grin at me again.
" sweetie. I'm off to bed. I don't think these goons will be down here long, so you can have some peace and quiet soon enough!" stated, as he bent over to me on the cheek.
"Night . I love you." I smiled at him.
He returned the smile.
"I love you too."
Not long after 's departure, both and made their way upstairs.
Leaving me.
And .
=).
"Finally." sighed.
"What?" I asked , confused.
He pulled our interlocked hands out from underneath my duvet.
"It was getting hot under there."
"Is that why your hands were sweating so much? I did wonder if you had a problem or something!" I joked.
"Oi you! It was actually because i was so nervous."
"I know. It was a bit weird having in the room whilst we're holding hands wasn't it?"
"Not because of that. I was nervous because it was you. There's something about you . I can't put my finger on it, but i know you're different - special."
"Are you calling me a special child ?" I joked again.
He laughed.
"Nooooo. Well yes. you are one special girl. I wish you were my special girl to be honest."
"Why can't i be?" I asked.
"You want to be?"
"Of course." I gave him an encouraging smile.
"And ?" He asked.
"He'll be fine with it. He cares too much about both of us to stop us from being happy. And that's what i would be with you Mr. !"
"Who'd have thought, me and you would be together eh?" took my other hand and squeezed it, staring into my eyes.
"I know." I agreed with him.
I then did the same as him, and stared into his eyes.
We moved closer, putting one hand on either side of my hips, and me placing my hands around his neck.
We edged together closer.
As we moved closer and closer together with every second i could feel the tension in the air.
Good tension though.
As our lips finally touched i felt my stomach rise again, but in a good way.
I didn't feel sick this time.
I parted my lips slightly so 's tongue could seek further into my mouth.
His tongue gently caressed the top of my mouth, reminding me of his hand stroking mine earlier.
's strength gently pushed me down, backwards, onto the sofa.
As we pulled apart we both looked into each other's eyes and smiled at one another excitedly.
We went to move in together again when my phone started to vibrate.
"AHHHHHHHHH" Me and both sreamed, and the collapsed back onto each other in a fit of laughter.
Bloody phones!