Chapter 1:
I grumbled, annoyed as the sound of loud music and terrible 'singing' continuously played through my ears.
It was the same every morning.
Well, more like afternoon, but im lazy like that, it's not my fault.
I rolled over moodily, trying to blink away the sleep.
My arms stretched out to either side of my double bed, searching, and finally finding the edges.
I sighed. Alone again. It was the same every morning.
What did i expect ?
For some boyfriend to magically appear over night so i could wake up beside him.
Even i don't get my hopes that high.

Hauling myself out of bed, i took a glance at my surroundings.
The usual;
Various hoodies scattered about on the floor, cd's, dvds and hair straightners joining them. Then there were a few pairs of worn socks kicking about too.
I smiled slightly.
Even if there WAS a boy, he wouldn't stick around long when he realised i was a filthy pig who didn't tidy up her bedroom at all.

I ruffled my own hair and opened my bedroom door.
Walking past my mum and dads bedroom I watched on as my younger brother continued to sing to one of Queens hits, oblivious to the fact that he's completely awful. I shook my head and trapsed down the stairs. It was quiet, so clearly the rents were out.
Walking into the kitchen i flicked the kettle on, made myself some cornflakes and settled down at the table reading the newspaper.
I flicked straight to the celebrity gossip section smiling at another picture of russell brand with some ridiculous story written about him again. I liked him, he was a great comedian, and I just had to giggle at some of the things the press found funny to make up. This included him having 'sexual relations' with members of his family. It was really quite pathetic.
This then triggered me to laugh again.;
PATHETIC ?
I thought about my own little world and how much it could be related to that word.
I'd recently failed my AS exams at college, i was being overworked and probably underpaid at my job in a local supermarket, i would have to quit college or stay there another three years, and re-do the last year i spent failing miserably again, there was no boy in my life. Infact, there's never been any boy in my life at all. That's slightly too pathetic in it's own right if you ask me. A girl of 17 has NEVER had a boyfriend, and only kissed a boy once. And that one kiss the boy was horribly drunk and clearly wasn't attracted to me at all. And i was just horrendous at the whole kissing business. Honestly, i didnt know what to do. I was almost glad when a few girls came over and interrupted us, coz i just pretended that we were interrupted before i could really get into it. So clearly, nothing else has happened with me, although most people don't realise that. Naturally, i lie about it. I'm not going to admit to being the only 17 year old EVER to have not done a thing with a boy. Yess, this is my life. The real definition of pathetic.

After breakfast, i had a bath, and then spent the next hour applying silly amounts of make up, attempting to make myself look slightly presentable, but without realising it, making my face go completely orange, and making my eyes go all black and smudged. I straightened my hair way too much as usual, and used my old hairsray which made my hair go rock hard. GREAT !
Now i was all dressed up, and most definately had no where to go. Its a good way to waste a few hours of your day when you have nothing to do though.
Looking up at my wall planner, i noticed the date.
PAY DAY ! :)

That decided it.
I grabbed a bag, and put my purse, ipod and a few magazines inside it, before calling out goodbye to my brother and setting off for the station.

On the bus journey to Guildford, i pondered over what i should do there. I finally decided on the cinema, and then maybe a bit of shopping afterwards.
Walking into the odeon, i decided on watching Angus, Thongs And Perfect Snogging. Purely because that Aaron Johnson boy looks a bit gorgeous !
I bought some ridicuolously expensive popcorn, and an equally expensive coke and walked into screen 2.
Searching around the room, i was the only one there.
I rolled my eyes and found my seat.
Placing my coke down in the space next to my armrest on one side, i decided it wouldnt hurt to put my popcorn down on the seat the other side of me. The lights went down within a minute and the trailers began.

"Oh for Goodness sake . Well done. You do realise you really cocked that one up don't you ? Our seats; ARE NOT NEXT TO EACH OTHER!"
I turned my head abruptly to the loud shrieking, and realised this scene was occuring right next to me.
A young girl was stood at the beginning of my row, shaking two tickets in the direction of someone.
I followed her arm to the blushing face of a boy about my age.
He had the most striking eyes, and shiny hair, which seemed to keep flopping over his face.
It took a few minutes for me to realise that all this arguing was because of me.
"Ummm, excuse me. I don't mind swapping seats if you two want to sit together ?" I announced shakily, slightly worried that the young girl might bite my head off like she had done to that poor boy.
That poor, GORGEOUS boy.
She huffed and barged past where i was sat, knocking my popcorn over and taking her seat where it was just resting.
I watched as many pieces of popcorn covered the carpet by her feet.
I glanced at her, as she happily nestled down on the seat, her eyes fixed to the screen.
I was honestly a bit annoyed, but i decided to just leave it.
Rising to my feet i breathed in as the boy slid past me, and took my old seat.
I took the seat next to him.
"Hey. Thank you so much. And im really sorry about my sister. She's a bit difficult to handle. My rents have gone out for the day and i kinda got stuck with her." The boy apologised to me.
I smiled, as i realised how similiar his relationship with his sister is to mine with my brother.
My anger seemed to subside completelty.
"Ohhh, dont worry about it. Siblings are the worst. I know what it feels like. You're just lucky that i'm here and not some grumpy old man who's refuse to swap seats. Then you'd have to put up with her wingeing all day long. Thats a big pain in the ass !" I laughed to myself, and then quickly turned my head away from him and cringed. I was truely awful with boys. WTF was that all about ? He's going to think im such a dick now.
I turned back around to see him laughing.
OHHH GREAT. He DOES think im a dick !
"An old man, watching a film like this ? Haha, he'd have to be a bit of a camp old man to watch this chick flick."
I giggled at his remark.
"Well are you a camp old man watching this 'chick flick' ? " I replied.
"Ummm, less of the old thanks. I'm 17. I've got years ahead of me."
"Yeaaah, shame you've got years of wrinkles on your face though." I joked back.
He seemed to look really shocked, and started to feel his face with his fingers, as if checking for any blemishes or unsmooth skin.
"For Goodnes SAKE. Shut up you two. You're flirting is sickening. Honestly." His sister butted in on the joke, much to my disapointment of course.
"I so don't have wrinkles you liar." He whispered as the film began.

I had a fixed smile on my face the whole way through the film. Even when some of it was sad, and she fell out with Robbie and Jaz. I was still grinning like a complete and utter fool. The reason ? Him of course. I did however think a little about how pathetic this all seemed really. Of course it would seem pathetic, this would be me we're talking about here.
For a start, he's only talking to me because he has to. It would be a little inpolite to not talk to me and say thanks after i'd just saved him from the beast that is his sister. Also, i'm never going to speak to him again after this film. And finally, i don't even know his name.

I got a little distracted from him during the film at some points though. I was just really getting into the pool scene when they first kiss, when my phone vibrated in my jeans pocket. I felt really embarassed and looked around. He was just watching the film, his face expresionless, clearly bored by the romance of the film. I thought my phone had vibrated quite quietly, but when i saw the distraught look on his sister's face i realised that perhaps it was a little louder than i had thought. I finally finished making even more noise fishing around in my pocket, and grasped my phone, pulling it out. It was a notification from bluetooth. Sender: . I felt my forehead crease with confusion, but i found my thumb pushing the accept button anyway. A memo file opened once it had downloaded. It said;
HEYY ! It's me. You're good old camp friend lol. I was hoping maybe we could do this again sometime ? Here's my number, give me a text sometime ? x.
My heart was racing and my face was caked in this big fat smile. I looked like such a loon. But i honestly didn't care.
I thought i'd better send him a text, just so as he doesn't forget me. And just so as i don't forget i have it too.
I quickly copied and pasted the number he'd left in the memo to my phone book and saved it. x.
I was slightly chuffed that i knew his name, but got over it and quickly started texting.
Heyaaa. Yeah, umm, guess who ? Lol :P I was thinking, maybe we could. But i was hoping maybe next time without your sister ? Lol, just a thought. Anyway thanks, now you give me a text. If your fingers arent too old and weak to handle texting. xxx.
I was quite happy with the way i'd handled that, and rather chuffed that i haden't made a complete idiot out of myself once again.

Chapter 2:
I then put my phone on silent, to spare anymore grief from his darling little sister, and continued to watch the rest of the film, only glancing once as his phone vibrated, much to the disgust of his sister. He smiled, and it was like a proper grin. I'd never made anyone smile like that before. Cooor, maybe i was FINALLY getting the hang of all this boy lark ?

I was a bit gutted when the film came to an end. The lights flicked on, making me blink a few times as my my eyes adjusted.
Suddenly, i felt really awkward.
What would happen now ?
Was i just meant to walk off, or did i hang around with him for a bit ?
I didn't want to act all clingy or anything, but i didn't want to seem rude and as though i didn't want to spend time with him.
" ! I'm going to the toilet. Wait here. Don't walk off without me or i'll tell mum and dad !" His sister threatened as she bounded off in the direction of the loos.
"So, what are your plans for the rest of today then ?" asked me.
I smiled.
"Not much. I was thinking of doing a little bit of shopping. And then going home. Yourself ?"
"Oh God, please come with. Little miss is going to drag me around all of those girlie shops, and i'm just no good with all of that. Pleease please pleaseeeeeee come ? For moral support." He begged.
I laughed. Perhaps a little too much, because he started joining me.
"Okk, ok i will. I've never known anyone to need moral support with shopping. It's like a treat for me."
He smiled and was about to reply when his sister returned.
" . We're going to New Look, and then Peacocks, and then Topshop, and then Oasis and just every shop that I want to go to basically."
He sighed.
"Ok, let's go then."
"And, what about HER ?" She asked, glancing at me.
I must say, i wasn't used to gettng dirty looks from people that were a good 4 years younger than me.
" ! Her name is . Not her. And she's coming with us, otherwise i'm refusing and i'll get the train home without you."
This seemed to keep quiet.
I felt quite helpless. I didn't want to create arguments between them.

We went to most of the shops that wanted to, and she still wasn't happy.
"This is the last one . If there's nothing in here then that's it. No more." said with a sigh, as we walked into Topshop.
was having a 14th birthday party next month and desperately wanted to be center of attention for it. This meant having the best outfit.
"Ugly ... Ugly ... Eurgggh, WHO WOULD WEAR THAT ?" screeched as she flicked through the sale rail.
"What about this ?" I suggested.
's eyes lifted and i watched as they narrowed as she seemed to force a smile on her face. It honestly looked like effort, i was sure she had a permanent frown on her face.
"Ohhhhhh, it's absolutely gorgeous. , look at that. I want it, i want it, i want it, i want i, i want it !" She squeled, jumping up and down in excitement.
"Yes, and you can KEEP wanting it at that price." replied, checking the price tag.
I watched her face crumble. I could literally see him tearing her dream of her being number one apart right there and then.
They argued for a bit, until got really frustrated and just walked out of the shop. I looked behind me at the dress, took in all of it's beautiful features, and then turned my back on it as i followed them both out of the shop.
attempted to look in HMV. He stopped and looked intrigued by some dvd. I looked too. It didn't look all that great to me. It was just some documentary about some band. I watched as his face dropped, along with his shoulders, and he drooped along, back to the entrance of the shop. 's continuous moaning had become too much for him now.
"Are you getting the train back ? "He turned around to ask me once we'd exited HMV.
"Nopee, i'm getting the bus back. It's much cheaper with my student travel card. I'm cheap ok ?" I tried to joke back at him to try and make him feel a little better.
He managed a small smile.
"I think im gonna take her home. Or i really will kill her. "
"That's ok. I've had a great day. Honestly, considering you know, well , haha. I hope we can do it again sometime soon ?" I asked hopefully.
He smiled again, but this time much fuller.
"Deffo. I'll give you a text when i'm home. And thank you for the moral support today. It's been great. See you soon ?"
"Deffo." I repeated his phrase.
He smiled.
I smiled.
And then we parted.
I really couldn't believe my day.
Even some spoilt little kid couldn't ruin it for me.
And it was PERFECT not PATHETIC.
I walked away contently, doing a bit of shopping before coming home.

My mood was soon ruined, even before i got home.
It started to pour down with rain.
And then, when i got in, my brother was in my room, playing on my playstation 2, sprawled out on my bed, just generally being annoying.
"OUT!" I shouted.
He looked up at me, and then his eyes returnned to the television screen.
"FFS. GET OUT !"
"But i've nearly completed this level." He whined back.
"I don't care. It's my room. Now go away."
Mum came up, wondering what all the shouting was about.
She didn't help.
She suggested i went downstairs and ate something whilst he just finished this small level quickly.
She always took his side.
He was the youngest. The favourite.
Half an hour later he came downstairs, looking smug as anything.
He pissed me off so much sometimes.
I ran up the stairs and shut my bedroom door behind me.
Jumping on my bed, i lay on my back, staring at the stick on stars on the ceiling.
My phone vibrating on my stomach broke the silence, and left my heart pounding as it made me jump.
Heyy. Its me. I hope you saved my number. You're young and youthful, i'm sure you have the brains to do that! :P Im soooo bored, it's just ridiculous. It was peeing down with rain on the way back, was not amused.I'm so sorry about her she's just such a nightmare. She's made a formal complaint to my mother because i wouldn't buy her that silly dress. She's just so spoilt. Anyway, thanks again for today. When are you next free ? xxxx
For the rest of the night i had a grin fixed to my face as we continued to text each other.

Two days later and i was waiting at the train station for .
I couldn't believe i was actually going to see him again.
I honestly thought he was just saying that so as i didn't feel bad.
"Alright treacklee ?"
I spun around and stared gormlessly, completely mesmorised by those damn eyes of his.
"Hello you." I managed to spit out moments later.
"Sorry, i kinda had to bring my sister again." He stepped aside.
I looked behind him for her and then to the side of him. I was sure i couldn't see her at all. I looked up at him confused and then noticed him trying to contain his laughter.
"You're a real funny one aren't you." I laughed along too.
We met up every day for the rest of that week, just either shopping, or bowling, or iceskating.
"Do you wanna come back with me to mine ? And then i'll walk you home ?" offered on the friday.
"Well if you're sure ? I don't want to like ruin your plans or anything." I rambled in a reply.
"Why would i ask you, if i didn't want you to come. Silly !" He nudged me whilst laughing.
I laughed too, trying to hide my nerves.
What if his parents didn't like me ?
It was a bit obvious that his sister couldn't stand me.

Chapter 3:
"MUMMM ?" shouted as he led me through his front door and closed the door behind him.
I was expecting his mum to be some kind of posh business woman or something. Completley minted, and a bit stuck up. Perfect skin, a great figure and carefully applied make up.
"Yes dear ?" A short, plumpish woman, wearing an apron around her waist and who had clearly dyed hair that was short and curley, and obvously needed a cut, replied.
She sounded like she had some sort of West-Country accent too. Although it was faded. I imagined from her living now in for some time.
She was so different to what i imagined her to be like.
"Hey mum." smiled.
It was a really sweet smile too. Filled with affection.
He walked up to her and kissed her on the cheek.
"I want you to meet ."He said, turning to me.
She rubbed her hands on her apron, and then removed it.
She walked towards me, beaming with happiness.
"Hello pet. I'm . I've heard quite a lot about you." She continued, as she embraced me with a warm hug.
It took me by surprise, but i managed to hug her back without looking completely hopeless.
She's heard a lot about me ?
"Mum, shhh. Anyway, we're going upstairs. But i just wanted you two to meet." hurried, trying to stop his mother from embarassing him anymore.
He started walking up the stairs, and i just followed him simply.
Directly in front of the top of the stairway was a pink door, with lots of Tinkerbell pictures and stickers, and pink fluff covering it. That must be 's room, i thought to myself.
There was a red door, with some black detail running along the door frame.
And then the room that was furthest away just had a plain white door.
As lightly opened the door, a waft of his scent filled my nostrils.
I smiled, as i made myself at home and sat down on his kingsize bed. It was MUCH better than my double bed.
"That's it, you make yourself at home. Honestly, the youth of today." tutted as he lay down beside me on the bed.
I crinkled my nose as i giggled. It was a habit i'd recently picked up.
I lay on my back and stared at his walls. There were a few posters on the walls of some bands, a few pictures of him and his mum, and him, megan and who i assumed was his father. The rest of the walls were bare. Plain white. Apart from some shelves on one wall, filled with cd's and dvd's.
"Not too shabby for an old geezer like you." I commented.
He smiled.
"You do make me laugh. Now, would you like to watch a film my dear ?"
He didn't wait for an answer, he just got up and wandered over to the shelf.
He started looking through his collection when i suddenly remembered my bag.
"Hey, . This is for you."
He sat next to me on the bed as i rifled through my bag, finally pulling out what i was looking for.
"No way ! You got this for me ?" His mouth was left wide open.
I nodded.
"I honestly can't. . Thank you. But i can't."
"You can. I bought it for you that first day i met you. I saw you staring at it. You obviously really wanted it. And i just couldn't help it. ANYWAY, i've lost the receipt now, so i can't take it back. I supposse if you really can't accept it then i'll just sell it to someone at college or something i'm sur..."
"Well, when you put it like that. It seems i have no choice really does it. It would just be rude of me to not accept it." He interrupted me.
I watched as his eyes lit up when i handed him the dvd.
I felt a rush of happiness soar through my body.
I was really chuffed that i'd made him that happy.

We ended up watching that dvd for the next two hours.
I wasn't all that interested in it, but i kept glancing at him sitting closely next to me. His eyes were fixed to the tv screen and he was listening so intently.
"Thank you so much . I'm really skint at the moment. I kept trying to save up for that dvd. But most of my money goes on now Dad's away on business." sighed.
"It's no problem, honest. Speaking of , could you give her this please ?" I handed him a Topshop bag.
He shook his head.
"Now you REALLY shouldn't have."
I shook my head to.
"I wanted to. It really meant something to her. And i know how important it is to her to look her best at this birthday party of her's."
stared at me. I blinked, and felt my face start to redden.
"What ?"
"You're amazing. I hope you realise that." He muttered.
"I'm really not." I giggled as my face turned a deeper shade of red.

Over the next few weeks me and took it in turns at going round each other's house. Today, it was my turn round his. I was sat contently on his bed, legs crossed, watching him play guitar. With every word he sang and every cord he played a shiver made its way down my spine. It was completely beautiful. I sat there in awe when a knock at the front door interrupted the moment.
" . Hun, it's the boys." His mother shouted.
"Ohhh dear. I didn't realise they were coming over today." hurried, putting his guitar back in it's spot in the corner of his room.
The sound of loud footsteps became clearer, and then there was a knock at the door.
"Come in." He said, doing up his guitar case.
" . Mateeee !"
"Hey guys." grinned.
I looked on as they all said their hello's.
There were three boys. All complete strangers to me.
"And who do we have here ?" A posh sounding boy asked, directed at me, as he sat next to me on 's bed.
"That's ." smiled.
"I'm ." The boy stated, putting an arm around my shoulder.
"Hiii." I smiled to him.
I looked up at who turned away, desperately trying not to look in my direction.
I was kinda hoping that was because he was the tiniest bit jealous, if i'm being completely honest.
The other two introduced themselves as and .
"Anyway matee. We just thought you'd like to practice with us ? We haven't seen you for a while, but i think we've found ourselves the reason for that right here. And don't worry, i know we'd all do the same thing as you. Spend time with the fittie, not with us mugs." laughed.
looked rather embarassed. I wasn't sure why, and i was sure i should have been the one that was embarassed, but i decided to let it go.
" , you up for watching us play ?" asked me.
"Of course. I have nothing better to do." I smiled back.

Chapter 4:
We went to 's flat. It seemed rather strange but extremely cool that he had his own place.
The boys started playing a few songs, as i sat on the sofa watching them intently.
They were all so talented it was just unreal.
I completely fell in love with their sound right there and then.
After about 7 songs the boys all bundled onto the sofa with me and asked for my opinion.
"Well, apart from the fact that you're all dripping sweat on me, which is completely disgusting, you guys were honestly amazing. You're so talented. Don't forget me when you're all famous yeaaah ?" I grinned.
Their faces were all beaming back at me.
They played one more song and then decided he was tired.
"That's cool matee. Oi, you are still coming to that party next friday aren't you ?" asked before we left.
"Deffo !" replied.

"Heyy, ummm ... I'm really sorry about earlier. I was being a bit distant at mine when they arrived. I don't want you to take it the wrong way. It's just, well, they were all flirting with you, and it just annoyed me a little bit. I'm sorry ?" mumbled.
"Ohhh, don't be silly. You have nothing to be sorry about, honestly." I replied.
Inside me my stomach was doing flips though. He really WAS a little tiny bit jealous. It wasn't just wishful thinking on my part. For once.
"Goood. So, you're coming to that party with me yes ?"
" You want me to ?"
"Of course i do. It would be completely rubbish without you there."
I was well aware that i was grinning like an idiot once again. But i couldn't be bothered to try and hide it.
"I guess i can't say no then can I ?"
It was now his turn to grin like an idiot.

It was now the night of the party. I was so unsure of what to wear. I was going crazy, trying on about 20 different things and then flinging them in a heap on the floor. I wasn't sure what everyone else was going to be wearing. I wasn't sure what type of party it even was. I didn't want to look like a complete idiot.
I decided to play it safe by wearing some denim shorts, and a leopard print vest top, with a black cardigan for if i got cold. Obviously, i was showing as much cleavage as posible, without making it obvious that i wanted people to be staring. Clearly i did. But that was not the point. I somehow managed to ensure my face wasn't orange, and my eyes werent all black and smudged. And my hair was straight and hairsprayed, but soft and silky tonight.
I was pleased, and i was even more pleased when picked me up and i was met with all four of the boys staring at me, open mouthed.
That had never happened to me before. was good for me. He made my self confidence soar to levels i never thought exsisted.
"H...Hello ." stuttered.
"Hiii." I smiled back at him.
I squeezed past s legs in the back and sat in the middle of him and .
"Close your mouth you old perv." I whispered in his ear.
I was literally so close to him, my lips were practically touching his ear as i whispered.
He turned his head towards me, gulping.
I giggled and looked foward as drove us to the party.
I was well aware that 's eyes were firmly fixed on my chest the whole 20 minute car journey there.
And i kept catching and looking in their mirrors.
" , dude. Stop STARING !" laughed, as he caught looking too.
I just laughed it off. Everything was going pretty perfect atm. And definately not pathetic :)

When we finally arrived, the place was pretty perfect itself. It was in the middle of no-where. A MASSIVE house. It was three storey's high. Nothing like i'd ever seen. Clearly some of 's posh mates. Their parents were probably away, trusting their child with their beautifully expensive house. What a mistaka to maka.
There was drum and bass blazing through each and every wall inside.
We made our way to the kitchen, where there was a fridge full of alcohol, cupboards full of alcohol and all the side boards and the table was filled with alcohol too. There was easily £2000 worth of alcohol in there.
I picked up a can of Strongbow and started sipping at it happily.
The boys looked on impressed, and picked up a can of their own personal choice of cider or beer.
Well, apart from who was quite happy to drink girlie drinks like WKD etc. Bless.

About two hours later, and you wouldn't even want to know how many strongbows and mixed creations later, I was sprawled out on a sofa that was in the room next to where the dancefloor had been created.
The music was still as loud as it was in the other room.
I was starting to regret the Strongbow, knowing that it gets me drunk far quicker than anything else coz it just doesn't even taste of alcohol. Not like nasty beer and shit like that.
"Heeeeeyyyyyyy. Who's this ?" Someone stumbled through the doorway.
I started to errupt in a fit of giggles.
I wasn't even sure at what. It wasn't that funny. I just couldn't stop myself.
"It's . And who are you my friend ?" I replied.
"I'm your best frienddd." The person slurred back.
I giggled and tried to help them up.
They turned over and there they were again. Those eyes. Just stunning.
I felt something. This pang inside my stomach. It was all bubbling up inside me. He was so gorgeous it was just so unfair.
"Hello you old perv." I giggled back.
"And who can blame me. Look at you. COOOR." He enthused.
I felt my face blush even in my drunkern state.
He sat up on the sofa next to me, edging closer and closer.
I was wondering if he was about to kiss me, but then the expression on his face dropped and he slumped foward, his head buried in my chest.
Butterflies started to race through my stomach, my heart beat speeding up.
"I love you so much ." He mumbled into my chest.
I flopped backwards, bringing him back with me.
I put my hand over the back of his head, bringing it closer to my clevage. I started to play with his hair, stroking it, and pulling it through my fingers.
"Love you too." I replied.
He attempted to lift his head up to look at me, but his eyes found my clevage instead.
"No. I REALLY love you. Much more than ..."
"I REALLY love you too." I interrupted him.
This time, he looked up at me.
He smiled.
I smiled.
His hands made their way up my vest top. They found what they were looking for.
As he groped and slid his hands to the back of my bra i felt my heart pound harder than i'd ever felt it do so before.
"You're so pefect."

Chapter 5:
Not pathetic. I was thinking, as my bra dropped to the floor.
Then he climbed on top of me. His hand raised to my face.
He stroked my cheek gently, i watched the affection in his eyes.
And then he slowly lowered his head, as i sat up slightly, our lips touching.
Again, i was so unsure of what to do, where to look, what to touch.
I felt his tongue touch mine, and i just let them play together, rolling around passionately.
His hands wandered back to under my vest top.
His kiss became deeper, more intense, more needy for more.
I pulled away from him, and played with the buttons of his shirt, carefully undoing them.
His shirt joined my bra on the floor.
I took in his body. Stunned. His shoulder muscles defined in all the right places, no pac, but visible muscle there. He was gorgeous. His kisses started to trail down my neck, down my chest, down to my stomach.
Inside it was flipping. I'm sure he had no idea just what i was feeling right now, but at the same time, i was hoping he'd feel a little of it too himself.
My fingers ran up and down his back.
I felt him start to un-do the button of my shorts when ...
"HAAAAAAAA. Ohhhh shiiitttttt. Sorrrryyy you guysss. We didn't realisee it was sexyyy time in hereee tonightt ! Heyyy, . You'd better not tell the girlfriendd about thisss. Don't worry. We won't say anythingggg. HAAAAAAA !"
I flinched.
HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND ?
I looked at him. He couldn't even look me in the eye, he just stared at the floor.
I put my bra back on, did the button on my shorts back up and ran out of there, without looking back at him.
Running out of the house my vision blurred with tears.
was different. He wasn't meant to do this to me. He said he loved me.
I managed to find some change in my pockets and got the last train home.
The tears fell continuously throughout the whole of the train journey and the whole of the walk home.
I unlocked the door using my key and climbed into bed, not bothering to remove any make up or change my clothes.
The sobs had subsided, but the tears were still falling freely and silently.

I woke up late in the afternoon the next day.
The image in the mirror was of greasy hair, a few spots and smudged mascara lines all the way from my eyes down to my chin.
I charged my phone up, and when it had enough battery i switched it on.
12 messages.
10 from and 2 from .
All pretty much saying the same thing. All about last night, all saying how sorry was. All saying he was going to tell me about her. All saying he didn't mean to hurt me.
I slid down my phone and switched it off.
He'd obviously try and get hold of me at some point.
But then, if he couldn't get hold of me by phone, he'll just try in person.
I went and stayed with a friend until the next weekend.
should have given up by now.
When i returned home i realised i was wrong. was sat on my front doorstep.
Clearly my parents had informed him of my temporary living conditions.
I sighed, dropping my bags onto the grass of my front garden.
"Please just listen to me." He asked, when he noticed my presence.
"I don't want to." I protested.
"Just please. It's not even what you think."
"Please don't treat me like an idiot . I know i don't have much experience on the whole relationship prospective of things, but i do realise that cheating is something only a complete asshole is capable of. You're clearly not who i thought you were. Now just leave me alone." I picked my bags up and barged past him, opening my front door.
"PLEASE. Just at least come to s party. Do it for her, not for me. She so wants you to be there. She never stops talking about you these days. She's like obsessed. But please. She doesn't care about looking the best anymore. All she cares about is you being there. And i promise, i'll stay out of your way if thats what you want. My place, the 14th, 2-5. That's all im asking."
I closed the door on him and trudged up to my room.
There were a few letters layed out on my bed.
All from .
I threw them in the bin and settled down with a dvd, before falling asleep infront of it.

"It's so good to see you here pet." I smiled at , as she answered the door, wearing her usual apron.
"Do you need any help with the food ? I thought i'd come over a bit earlier and help you out. I know it can't be easy catering and organising a 14th birthday party for 30 kids."
She smiled warmly back at me and took hold of my hand.
"I really do appreciate this. I know its not easy. You and and all that mess. But this means so much. To too. She'll be thrilled when she sees you." I started putting some little sausage rolls in the oven, and then blew a few balloons up and scattered them and some HAPPY 14TH BIRTHDAY ! banners around the house. I heard some foot steps rush down the stairs.
" !" jumped around me in an excited circle.
I laughed.
"Hey you ! Wow, doesn't that dress look amazing ?"
"Thank you so much. I love you so much ." babbled on.
With those words i was taken back to the night of that party.
It was exactly what had said to me before everything fucked up.
I shuddered, not wanting to remember the rest of the night's details.
I shook my head and took 's hand as she led me into the garden.
It was a beautiful sunny day, and everything was set up perfectly.
There was a little bouncy castle and their trampoline. And then once they got bored of that they'd eat a massive feast and open presents.

I was sat out in the garden keeping an eye on all the children, making sure none of them hurt themselves or anything.
"Heyyy."
I turned around and quickly returned to my original position, facing away from the voice.
"Look, i know i said i'd stay out of the way but i just want to explain this. And i promise you, once i'm done explaining i'll go away and i won't bother you anymore."
I sighed.
"Ok." I replied reluctantly.
"That girl that they were talking about. My 'girlfriend'. Well we're not going out."
"Yeaaah, okk, so they just said you were going out with her for the sake of it right ?" I spat.
"No. No. Well, i WAS with her. But that was months ago. She moved away to Spain. I'm never going to see her again. And she said she'd ring me every day and she rang me once and that's all. We don't even speak anymore, and i never see her. So yes, technically we never broke up, but we're not together. It's over , it honestly is. And even if she was in England, it would still be over, because she's not you. And you is what i want. You're what i need ."
I turned back to him.
I could feel the need to cry, but i really didn't want to look like a prick like i was so used to.
"Seriously say something, coz i just feel like such a knob stood here, wondering if i've just wasted my time or whaat. And it's scary you just staring at me." laughed.
I let out a small laugh too as a single tear trickled down my face.
I pushed my hand to his cheek, and let my thumb stroke his soft skin.
"You make me perfect, you dirty old perv." I whispered in his ear.
He looked down at me and grinned.
A big fat huge grin again.
"I love you so much ."
"Love you too."

Once the party had ended i helped to clear up.
had buggered off upstairs, which i was sure was due to the fact that he's lazy.
After i finished helping i went upstairs to his room, much to the delight of , who was so happy that we were ok now.
"Blimey, i can't believe how lazy you are mister." I joked as i closed the door behind me.
"Awww." I cooed as i realised he was asleep on his bed.
I slipped next to him on the bed, staring at him whilst he slept.
He just looked so adorable.
I stroked his cheek continuously.
"I'm old and wrinkly, i need my sleep. Stop disturbing me."
I giggled as i realised he was awake.
He rolled over, lying on top of me as he lowered himself and kissed me.
It wasn't like the drunk kiss.
It was soft and sweet.
I couldn't help but break out in a smile.
PERFECT. His hands entwined with mine as we lay in bed together.
His chin was resting on my shoulder as we watched a dvd together.
Slowly falling asleep, his arms wrapped around me, completeing me.
We're just perfect together. And pathetic apart.
THE END