Billy Joel
Major Stake
Every Long Islander with a decent sense of music lives in perpetual fear of this man dying. For when he does, there will be nothing but twentyfour-hour tributes to him on every radio station for days and every sad-ass, middle-aged bar trash will be blubbering how they saw him at the Garden in '79 blah blah blah...
He also has the second most irritating song on the jukebox that drunk college kiddies like to sing along to over pitcures of Bud Lite(the first belongs to Frank Sinatra). He's an over glorified piano lounge player that somehow made it too far(probably when Rock and Roll wasn't looking) and should be in compitition with Elton John for playing tacky piano bars on Cherry Grove.
Minor Stake
A minor stake for being a bad drunk. Come on Bill, don't stop now. You were a really good one once.