Check-Out Counter Comedian
Major Stake
These are the people who take the 'express' out of the express lane. The check-out person is forced to interact with them, so they seize the opportunity to perform for a captive audience( the check-out person and everybody stuck behind him). Why they feel compelled to joke with and entertain everybody on line is beyond me. Maybe, it's their only human contact.
Not to spoil anyones routine, but here are some of the favorite lines you'll hear from these clowns:
(when the check-out person examines a hundred dollar bill) "It's real. I made it myself." Ha Ha.
(when the total on the register display comes to something like '19.98') "1998! That was a good year." Ha Ha
(when there is no price tag on an item) "Hey, it must be free." Ha Ha
(when new bills stick together) "Careful, they're sticky. I just printed them myself." Ha Ha
These people are just slightly more irritating than the old ladies who take forever getting the exact change out of their pocketbooks while pulling out every old Life Saver( and examining it as if it just might be a quarter). Look, pay for your things, cut the comedy, and get out of there! I shop in perpetual dread that the register might display '6.66'.
Minor Stake
A minor stake for being the same people who, when you say you are going to the__(bank, pizza place, deli...) and do they want anything,will answer back ' yeah, a pound of tens'. Errrggghhhhh!