Blackmalice’s notes: Again, a rather messy chapter ^^;; I did it in the middle of assignments and exams, forgive me. Kisses to fxxker_fams304 this time.


Chapter 15: The born of a new band

“Aaaaah!!! Our first practice with Toshiya!” Kyo jumped up and down, “For the first time ever, I feel extremely energized for practice!”

“Wow,” Die whistled and winked at Toshiya, “You give a much better influence to us than I thought.”

Toshiya laughed and shook his head as he sat on the couch, next to Shinya who was reading a magazine. The younger man tensed almost invisibly. But Die noticed, he always noticed. His stare met with Shinya’s for a brief second before Shinya turned his head quickly.

Die sighed. It would be hard to talk to Shinya. Die would be ready, but Shinya would not.

Shinya wasn’t the type of person who showed all of his feelings to anyone. People have to get to know him first, so they could read into Shinya on their own. And it was a long, uneasy process. It was because he had paid close attention to Shinya, that he managed to read the deepest part of Shinya’s mind.

While Shinya was not fond of being seen that deep.

Oh yes, Die had cared about Shinya more than friends before he realized that Shinya looked at Kaoru in a different way. He didn’t know why, or how. He only knew that he had began to pay attention to Shinya since a long time ago.

And to see that Shinya was after Kaoru’s shadow was painful for the red head.

It was as if Shinya wanted Kaoru, yet at the same time, the petite man knew for sure that there would be no chance for him.

Because Kaoru would never stop chasing Toshiya’s shadow.

Shinya was content enough to stay beside Kaoru. He didn’t even care when Miyabi appeared, for he knew Kaoru never truly love the poor boy. It was all about Toshiya within Kaoru’s mind and heart. Only Toshiya.

So Miyabi never got Kaoru’s love, and no one would, so Shinya calmed down.

Then Toshiya appeared. And Shinya’s balanced world crumbled down.

Die could see that Shinya himself wasn’t truly aware of his own feelings. The drummer might just found himself getting angry at Toshiya, for a reason that Die had given him. Kaoru had treated Miyabi unfairly.

But Die knew, that Shinya was the one who felt being treated unfairly.

Kaoru and Kyo might have some suspicions about Die’s feelings, seeing how a glint sometimes appeared in their eyes when Die was making fun of Shinya in front of them. But the two didn’t say anything. They’d rather wait for Die to tell them himself.

“Where’s Kaoru?” Toshiya’s questioning voice aroused.

“Hah! That bastard!” Kyo wrinkled his nose, “Just at the time when I actually came on time, he wasn’t there to see!”

“Wait!” Die snickered, “I know…”

“You know what?” Kyo asked.

“Kaoru must’ve woken up late this morning,” Die’s eyes turned to Toshiya, who blinked confusedly, “Because he was too excited about this morning that he couldn’t sleep!”

Kyo laughed hysterically, “Oh my God, Kaoru was really head over heels over you, Toshiya!!”

Toshiya blushed furiously and was about to say something, but then the door slammed open.

“Sorry I’m late!” Kaoru showed up on the door. His breath was ragged, his hair was messy, and his face was tired. He clearly woke up late.

Kyo and Die’s laughter exploded, while Toshiya blushed even more and stood up. “Stop it, you guys! It’s not like that!”

Kaoru raised his eyebrows, “What is it?”

Kyo made a move to tell the man, but Toshiya was quick to clamp his hands on Kyo’s mouth. “Nothing.” He answered instead. He didn’t want to start their first practice with an awkward situation. He really didn’t want to exploit Kaoru’s feelings towards him.

The bassist was feeling guilty enough that he responded to Kaoru’s kiss just a few days ago, because it turned out that he still couldn’t figure out his own feelings. Kaoru didn’t force him, of course, because he was being the nice, gentle Kaoru. And that, made Toshiya’s guilt grew even bigger.

Die read the situation quickly and sensed Toshiya’s panicked state. He then decided to change the subject, “So, leader-sama, what’s our agenda today?”

Kaoru glanced at Toshiya and Kyo before dropping his bag. He then clapped their hands together, “Ok, everyone! Our first agenda today is making a new song!”

A muffled surprise came from Kyo, and he pulled Toshiya’s hands away from his mouth to shout again in disbelief, “What?!”

“Well, of course! We have to know what kind of songs we’re going to present to our fans later on. So today, I want all of us to collaborate. Everyone must be active in the making of this song. This will be the first song born from us,” Kaoru spoke in a leader tone, “We also have to tighten our bonds, right? What else could it be other than something that we all enjoy, music?”

Kyo and Die groaned, being rather lazy than unwilling. Toshiya chuckled as Kaoru glared at the two.

“We haven’t even had any form of actual celebration!” The vocalist protested again.

“We’ll make this our form of celebration, as a sign of how serious we are in music.” Kaoru nodded.

“You work maniac.” Die muttered.

“And then,” Kaoru continued, ignoring those protests, “We’re gonna decide our new band’s name!”

“What?” it was Toshiya’s turn to get surprised, “We’re not going to use La:Sadies?”

Kaoru looked at Toshiya strangely, “Well of course not.”

“But why? Won’t it be easier to just continue La:Sadies?”

“And make you as Kisaki’s replacement?”

Toshiya blinked, he didn’t get why that was such a huge matter, “…It is like that practically, isn’t it?”

“Now, now,” Kaoru’s eyes turned serious, “You value yourself too low. You’re not simply a replacement for Kisaki. We were done with La:Sadies when Kisaki quit. We won’t be able to make more La:Sadies music without Kisaki. So we decided to get a new bassist, which means a new music, thus leads to a new band.”

“Ah, leader-sama, you’re so cool that I fell in love with you!” Kyo cooed. Die laughed and smacked Kyo’s head playfully, while Kaoru rolled his eyes at the band’s clowns.

“But it’s true, Toshiya,” Kyo coughed, trying to put up his best serious look, “We’re here for a new band. Not for a band that had been left by its bassist.”

“Don’t you think about how far La:Sadies have got? You really want to start all over?” Toshiya insisted.

“We trust in ourselves, don’t we? Especially now that we have you.” Kaoru smiled at Toshiya, touching his cheek in a split of second before he realized that everyone was looking at them. His hand flew back to his sides.

Kyo’s laughter nearly exploded, but he tried to hold himself. Instead, he stepped closer to Toshiya, staring at him with an intense stare.

“W-what?” Toshiya asked.

“You’re so much better to look at than Kisaki.”

“Hey! He’s not some kind of an attraction.” Kaoru scolded.

“Forgive me, leader-sama! So protective… As if the attraction didn’t happen…”

“KYO!!”

Kaoru’s face reddened along with Toshiya, who ducked his head down to hide his reddened face. Die, in the other hand, noticed that Shinya drowned himself further inside the magazine that he was holding.

“Ok!” The red head announced, “A new song and a new band name making start now!” He snickered when he saw Kaoru turned to him with an amused look, “I’ve always wanted to try to be the leader sometimes.”

“Then next time, try to make Kyo stay awake throughout the whole practice.”

************

The clock showed 9 p.m. when a man in his thirties sat inside his office. He was looking at band’s CVs that had been put on his desk. He was still lacking one band to play on his livehouse this weekend. Nevertheless, he only wanted to put up bands that have the qualities. Might as well forget that one band rather than forcing himself to put up a bad band.

A knock on his door made him raised his head, “Come in.”

One of his hired staff entered the room, “Niikura Kaoru called, and he wanted to know whether it’s possible for his band to apply for this weekend’s live.”

“Niikura Kaoru?” The man raised an eyebrow, “La:Sadies’ Niikura Kaoru?”

“Yep. But apparently, he wasn’t talking on the behalf of La:Sadies. He had a new band.”

“A new band?!” The man jawdropped in disbelief, “He just threw La:Sadies behind?”

“No, the band actually consisted on the four members left on La:Sadies plus a new bassist. So they decided to form a new band.”

“A new bassist already?” The man whistled, “Just like what we expected from Niikura Kaoru, fast and determined. Who’s the new bassist then?”

“Toshiya. He used to be a member of Gosick.”

“Toshiya?!” The man laughed, “W…ow. Ok, that’s interesting! Kaoru sure knew how to choose his band members.” He laughed more, “Put them in!”

The staff nodded and made a move to go out of the office, “I’ll call him now.”

“Wait, what are they called now?”

“They called their band ‘Deathmask’.”

************

“Cheers for Deathmask!” Die raised his glass of beer and laughed when the others followed him.

Kaoru had just received a call informing that they were allowed to play this weekend in a livehouse. The song had been finished too. Turned out great. Everyone was pouring their everything.

It had been a great day. So great that Kaoru announced he would treat them all some beers at the near bar.

Kyo drank his beer in one gulp and draped an arm around Shinya’s shoulder. “Aah, even Shin-chan’s here! You know, Toshiya, it’s so hard to drag him out of his cocoon!”

Toshiya chuckled at Shinya. But the man didn’t reply his attempt of friendliness and merely drank his own beer, making Toshiya’s chuckle died down.

“Hey, it’s okay. Shinya’s just a shy boy. He was scared to speak,” Kyo said reassuringly to Toshiya, before turning to Die, “Right, Die?”

“Of course! Our little Shinya!” Die laughed again.

Deep inside, Shinya couldn’t believe how the red head had been acting. He acted like nothing happened between them, while the one who started the problem was Die himself.

Was it just a joke?

Another joke that the clown had put Shinya inside?

Die didn’t even talk about the subject again, though Shinya sometimes caught his glances. And it’s not like Shinya was ready to talk about it. Well, no, not about readiness. He really, really don’t know what to do about that.

It was some kind of a confession, right?

It was the first time someone confessed to him.

Why does it had to be Die?

Die, who always mocked him around.

Die, who was his childhood friend.

“What are you thinking?”

Shinya’s train of thoughts was interrupted with a face so close to his own. He scooted backward and turned his head to the other side. “Nothing.” Even have the guts to ask.

“Then why don’t you drink some more?” Die smiled and poured more beers into Shinya’s glass.

“Hmm.” Shinya replied indifferently. How you could act so… calm?

“Come on, Shinya! Ease up a bit! Don’t be so stiff, it’s not like the world’s gonna eat you!” Die cackled and patted the younger man’s head.

Whose fault do you think it was?! Shinya slapped the hand away and slightly glared at Die.

Out of the blue, Die replaced his cheeky face with an indescribable look on his face. That made Shinya taken aback, didn’t expect the sudden change of expression.

“W-what?”

“If you want to say something, say it. Don’t just say it in your mind. Or else no one would understand.” Die said calmly, then turned to the others, leaving Shinya to think about his words.

************

“So? What do you think of our first practice?”

Toshiya smiled as he took the glass of water from Kaoru’s hand. After the little party, Kaoru asked Toshiya whether he wanted to see the music sheets of La:Sadies. Though that might not be much use, but at least Toshiya could get a hold of everyone’s playing. Toshiya agreed to that, thus they ended up inside Kaoru’s living room.

“Well, it’s fun. I just didn’t expect that we’ll be able to finish that song. Thanks to you being a tough leader you are.”

“If you wanted to say authoritarian, just say so,” Kaoru pretended to glare, “Just don’t call me leader-sama like everyone else.”

“Okay,” Toshiya hid his giggles, “Leader-sama.”

Kaoru groaned and Toshiya burst out into a fit of laughter. “Couldn’t help it! That title was just so you!”

“Whatever.” Kaoru rolled his eyes. He reached for his own glass, and his arm bumped with Toshiya’s. A muttered apology was heard. Two pair of reddened cheeks appeared out of the blue. After that, the situation turned awkward.

What’s with the damn pressure?!! Kaoru cursed inwardly, wondering how on hell the awkwardness always came back whenever they were left alone.

“So,” Toshiya grinned nervously, “Where’s the music sheets?”

“Ah, yes.” Kaoru blushed slightly and rushed to his room. He wondered if his other intention had been revealed to the other man already. Well, it was true that he wanted Toshiya to look at the music sheets, but he also wanted to spend more time with him…

“Here you go.” Kaoru gave the sheets.

Toshiya received them and flipped through it. “Wow… so many…”

“You can say that we were productive enough.” Kaoru laughed.

“Are you sure,” Toshiya said hesitantly, “You’re gonna leave this all behind and start from the scratch?”

“Hey, you’re still saying that?” Kaoru’s face turned concerned.

The bassist realized that he had raised too much concern. “Ok, I won’t say that again.”

“Good.” Kaoru patted his head, and Toshiya felt like leaning his head upward to the gentle hand.

However, he didn’t.

Another set of awkward silence followed, and Toshiya coughed to ease the situation. “Umm… you live alone?”

“Yeah. I live alone now.”

Now…?

Toshiya blinked. So Kaoru lived with Miyabi before…?

Well, they were lovers, so that was normal…

Kaoru glanced at Toshiya and saw the strange expression. Just then, he realized that Toshiya might take it the wrong way.

“I mean, I used to share the apartment with my friend when I first came here. But he went back to his hometown, so I live alone since then.” Kaoru explained.

Toshiya merely nodded.

Worried about the lack of response, Kaoru added hurriedly, “Miyabi never lived with me.”

Toshiya’s eyes widened and he stole a glance at Kaoru. He was somehow embarrassed that his mind had been guessed by Kaoru. “Oh.” He muttered, and smacked himself inwardly, for that answer only seemed like confirming Kaoru’s guess, like Toshiya was expecting that explanation.

The fact that he was actually expecting it should be kept a secret if he didn’t want to humiliate himself any further.

“Well,” Kaoru coughed this time, “How about you? You live alone in that place?”

“Uh-huh.” Toshiya nodded again.

“Since when?”

“Some months ago.” Toshiya squirmed uncomfortably. But Kaoru didn’t notice.

“Oh, you were from Nagano, right? I heard your band was from Nagano.” Kaoru asked more questions. Toshiya said Kaoru barely knew him, right? This was one of the chances to get to know Toshiya better.

“I kinda ran away from my home because my parents didn’t agree at my choice to be a musician.” Kaoru laughed good naturedly, “I’ll say that I just need to prove to them that I can claim success, and they’ll support me wholeheartedly.” He turned to Toshiya, “How about you? Did your parents agreed with you?”

Toshiya ducked his head down, didn’t answer.

And Kaoru smacked himself inwardly. Maybe that’s too personal. What if Toshiya’s parents passed away already? Ah, he was just such an idiot!

“Uh, I didn’t mean to…”

“No, it’s okay.” But Toshiya still didn’t answer.

He said it’s okay, but he still won’t tell me. Right. Kaoru sweatdropped. “Okay… How about your… uh… brother or sister?”

“Kaoru.”

“Yes?” Kaoru stiffened, preparing himself to be yelled at for intending to ask personal questions.

“I can’t answer your questions.”

Kaoru grinned apologetically, “Ummm… I understand…”

“No, you don’t understand.” Toshiya whispered.

“Huh?” Kaoru blinked confusedly.

“I…” Toshiya muttered, “I’m not… I’m….”

The guitarist felt his heartbeat fastened. Could it be…

“Kaoru… I need to tell you something.”

************
TBC~

Next chapter!
The reveal of Toshiya’s secret!
*hides because she has just put a cliffie*
And due to jrock_questions comm, Dir~en~grey called themselves Deathmask before they changed their name, so no, I wasn’t planning to make a complete AU.

 

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