Blackmalice’s notes: holiday is bad for my muse =D *hides* thank you for shu_26 for the beta!


Chapter 17: The Reunion


Toshiya huffed as he carried his bass up the stairs. He finally arrived at the door of their practice studio and wondered whether Kaoru had arrived or not. Toshiya insisted to go home last night, rejecting Kaoru’s offer to stay over. He couldn’t bear to be around Kaoru after the confession, the acceptance, and the heated making out. He could feel his face burning at remembering last night.

He shook his head and opened the door, didn’t even have any chance to say ‘good morning’ as someone instantly charged towards him and hugged him tightly.

“I miss you.” Kaoru’s muttered voice reached his ears.

Toshiya blushed, “W-what are you talking about? We just met last night.”

“I miss you already.” Kaoru scooted back a bit and stared at him longingly, making Toshiya blushed even more, “Can I kiss you?”

Toshiya averted his eyes, couldn’t believe how his lover could be so blunt about his feelings, “I-I’ve told you that you don’t have to ask…”

“Hmm,” Kaoru chuckled and leaned in, cupping Toshiya’s cheek with one hand, “You’re so cute…”

The kiss started out sloppy, but after Kaoru brought Toshiya inside, his tongue darted out, asking for permission to enter Toshiya’s warm mouth. The kiss went on and on, until Kaoru opened his eyes slightly to look at Toshiya’s cute expression while they were kissing. He caught something from the corner of his eyes, and yelped in shock when he saw their three bandmates stood on the doorway, watching them with jaws dropped. He broke the kiss and jerked away from his lover, who shrieked when he too realized what happened.

“OKAY.” Kyo opened his mouth first, “Is there something we missed?”

Toshiya wanted to bury himself, and Kaoru felt no less shame for being caught kissing like that. Even though everyone already knew the growing feelings between the two, it was still awkward.

Kaoru finally coughed and stepped forward, “I have an important announcement for you all.”

Die rolled his eyes, “And that seems to be not much of a surprise anymore…”

“No, it wasn’t that.” Kaoru glared slightly at his red-headed friend.

“It wasn’t?!” Kyo groaned, “Oh come on! Save us all from Kaoru’s disgusting flustered attitude which we’re gonna have to face again!”

“Shut up! If it makes you feel better, me and Toshiya—.” Kaoru cut his words and glanced at Toshiya.

“You and Toshiya?” Kyo asked with a tinge of hope. “What?”

Kaoru asked for permission from Toshiya with his eyes. When Toshiya nodded shyly, Kaoru smiled and gave the others a little demonstration by giving a peck to Toshiya’s cheek. “We’re together.”

The roaring laughter filled the room, along with the teasing of the impish bandmates. After a while, Kaoru stopped the racket. He then turned to Toshiya and reached out to take his hand. Toshiya obliged as he realized what Kaoru was about to tell the others.

“That wasn’t what I intended to tell you.” He announced.

“Huh?”

“Toshiya here,” Kaoru breathed deeply, “Is our Toshiya.”

A long silence.

Kaoru stared at each of his bandmates, trying to find any kind of response, but he only found blank faces. Confused expressions.

Toshiya glanced nervously at Kaoru, his hands fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

Finally, a blink came from Kyo, as he opened his mouth and let out a perplexed sound, “Huh?”

Kaoru swallowed his excitement and tried to hold himself back, “You heard it. Toshiya is Toshimasa Hara, our long lost childhood friend.”

“Whohoo, hold it right there!” Die waved his hands rapidly, “What the hell is this all about?”

Kaoru began to lose his patience. He just wanted everyone to understand, like, now. He couldn’t wait to share the joy! “I’ve told you this guy is our Toshiya!”

“Wait a second!!” Shinya shrieked, making everyone turned to the drummer, “I—We really don’t understand! Explain to us how did you come to that conclusion again?”

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“For Godsake! Let him go! He couldn’t breath!”

“You shut up!” Kyo spat out to Kaoru who was trying to save Toshiya from the desperate grasp of Kyo and Die, “You always monopolize him!”

“Yes!” Die swallowed his sob and bawled, “Let us hug him until we’re ready to let go, you egoistic bastard!!”

“What the hell?!” Kaoru glared with annoyance. He knew that Kyo and Die were trying to find an outlet for their flooding joy, but they didn’t have to throw it at Kaoru in such negative way, did they?! If it weren’t for himself in such a great mood, he would’ve smack those two on the head.

“TOSHIYAAA~~~”

“Wemissedyousomuch!!”

“Wethoughtyouweredead!”

“WE’RE SO GLAD THAT YOU’RE BACK!!”

“Kyo, are you crying?”

“No! It’s dust! DUST!!”

The excitement went on until Kaoru noticed Shinya was just standing in his place, eyes fixed at Toshiya.

“Shinya.”

Kaoru’s voice shook him out from his daze. Shinya blinked and focused his stare at his childhood friend, his used to be best friend back then. He and Toshiya were the young ones within their circle of friendship. They shared the same naivety, the same protected position, the same bullied role.

Toshiya.

He felt his eyes watered and opened his mouth, “A-are you really Toshiya…?”

Toshiya smiled uncertainly at him and shrugged, then glanced at Kaoru for some help. Kaoru caught the plea and nodded at Shinya. “Yes he is, Shinya.”

Die stared at Shinya, not knowing what to expect from the unexpected situation. But then…

“AACK!” Toshiya yelped when Shinya jumped to him and made them both almost fell to the floor. Loud cries were heard from the usually quiet drummer. Shinya wetted the front of Toshiya’s shirt badly with his almost hysterical tears. “S-Shinya?”

“I’m glad that you’re still alive!” Shinya cried more, his hands warped tightly around Toshiya’s neck, “Huaaaa~~~!!”

Kaoru laughed as Kyo patted the youngest man’s head. Even Shinya could lose control like that.

Die, who stood on his place, felt confused. He somewhat expected that Shinya was the one who would feel confused. After all, Shinya was supposed to like Kaoru, right? Now… when Toshiya was back with them… there would be no chance for Shinya, right? Die knew Shinya was not a person with that kind of a horrible personality, but he still half expected for Shinya to despise Toshiya’s return. If not directly, at least he should’ve showed some confusion rather than crying merrily like now.

What was on the petite drummer’s mind actually?

Kaoru now began to hug Toshiya along with Shinya, and kissed the taller man’s forehead, who blushed at the teasing from their vocalist. Shinya saw the whole thing and chuckled.

More to Die’s confusion.

On the other hand, what Shinya felt surprised himself as well.

As he saw Kaoru’s laughter, he knew the source of the leader’s happiness had returned. The source of everyone’s happiness. Toshiya.

Shinya felt strong, because Kaoru felt strong.

But why?

Why he felt like that?

Kaoru stole another kiss on Toshiya’s cheek, and Shinya felt another wave of warmth flooded his heart.

And then, the answer appeared on his head.

So clear that he wondered where the hell the answer was hiding all this time.

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“What is it?” Toshiya asked with a smile as Kaoru dragged him to the leader’s place.

“Geez, it wouldn’t be a surprise if you know what is it before you see it!” Kaoru laughed, “Now shh, you’ll know soon enough!”

Toshiya rolled his eyes playfully. Kaoru tightened his hold on the other man’s hand as they reached the door of his apartment.

“Are you ready?” Kaoru asked.

“I wouldn’t know, you know.” Toshiya giggled, amused by Kaoru’s enthusiasm.

Kaoru heaved a deep breath and opened the door, driving Toshiya inside. Toshiya raised his eyes in confusion, but followed nonetheless.

“To… shiya…?”

Toshiya turned to the voice from inside the living room and saw some people gathering there, all staring at him in disbelief. “Yes?”

“Toshiya,” Kaoru grinned widely, “Meet your family.”

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The meeting had went as expected. Toshiya’s family were crying and hugging him as if he would disappear. Kaoru watched the family reunion with a smile. He had called Toshiya’s father last night, telling him everything. The old man didn’t believe him just like that, of course, but he knew that Kaoru wouldn’t lie about something like this.

“Kaoru,” Toshiya’s father hugged him tightly, “Thank you.”

“I did nothing.” Kaoru hugged him back.

“I-I don’t know what to say—.” Hara-san glanced at Toshiya, who was still drowned in his mother and siblings’ cries, and his voice hitched, “That’s my son.”

“That’s your son.”

“He’s alive.”

“He is.” Kaoru smiled, knowing that the older man needed some confirmation.

“I still couldn’t believe it… Whose body was it then…?” Hara-san asked absentmindedly, referring to the dead body holding Toshiya’s identity back then.

“We don’t know.” Kaoru felt his jaw tightened, “We could only guess. Maybe that man robbed Toshiya and stole his identity, which caused Toshiya’s memories lost due to shock.” But they would never know unless Toshiya remember himself…

“Um, Kaoru… Can I ask you a favor?” Toshiya’s father asked, and at getting a nod from Kaoru, he continued, “Would it be possible for Toshiya to stay at our place for a while? I mean, I understand that you guys might be busy with the band, but—.”

“I’ve arranged it up for you already.” Kaoru smiled, “Toshiya will stay at your place for two weeks. No band practice.”

“I’ll what?”

Kaoru turned to his lover, who suddenly appeared behind him. Toshiya was staring at him questioningly, “I’m gonna stay where?”

“I’ve arranged that there will be no band practice for two weeks,” Kaoru explained to Toshiya, “You can stay over at your family’s—no, your house for those two weeks.”

Toshiya raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t tell me anything about it.”

“It’s a surprise, remember?” Kaoru laughed. “I think you should get your time for the family reunion.”

Toshiya’s family cheered and thanked Kaoru. But Toshiya just stared at him blankly.

“Toshiya?” Kaoru leaned in, knowing that there was something wrong.

“Sorry,” Toshiya muttered, “I… I’m gonna smoke outside for a while.” Then he walked out of the room, steps quicker than necessary, leaving everyone in the room in bewilderment.

The older man glanced at Toshiya’s family and said a quick ‘we’ll be back’ to them before running after his lover. The tall man had disappeared from the hallway, and it took him more time than he estimated to finally found him on the emergency stairway.

Toshiya was sitting there, busying himself with a cigarette. He didn’t look at Kaoru when the leader stepped closer, but then he said with a small, trembling voice, “Leave me alone.”

“Hey… What’s wrong?” Kaoru scrunched his eyebrows worriedly. He strode closer and sat beside Toshiya before wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Toshiya slapped it away and turned his back towards him.

“I said leave me alone.”

Kaoru sat there in silence, unsure of what caused the sudden change of attitude and what he should do to calm Toshiya down. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Just—!” Toshiya snapped, beginning to get annoyed by the other’s presence. “Just leave me alone for now, ok? I’ll be back after I finish this stick and you’ll find no change in the cheerful, merry me.”

“I won’t leave you in this kind of state—.”

“What kind of state?!” Toshiya snapped out again, turning his infuriated face towards Kaoru, “What kind of state am I actually, huh?! Why you should even worry about that?!”

Kaoru blinked his eyes in surprise, “Of course I’m worried about you! What’s wrong with you really?”

Toshiya threw his cigarette furiously and clamped his hands on his face. “Just leave.” He muttered with a muffled voice. Kaoru wasted no time to hug him, which earned some struggle from the younger man.

“I won’t understand if you wouldn’t tell me.” Kaoru whispered, his arms tightened around Toshiya. “Tell me what I did wrong.”

“It’s not you,” Toshiya’s struggle died down, and he buried his face on Kaoru’s chest, “It’s just me and my silly thoughts.”

“I want you to share your thoughts then.” Kaoru caressed Toshiya’s back gently. A long silence filled the air before some sobs could be heard. Kaoru kissed the crown of his lover’s head in the attempt to calm him down.

“I just… I feel guilty…”

Kaoru widened his eyes at the confession, “Guilty for what?”

“For not being able to recognize any of you. My supposedly childhood friends, parents, family, lover…” He clenched Kaoru’s shirt, “I don’t remember a thing, yet you people were… exploded with happiness to see me…”

Kaoru felt a stab on his chest. He didn’t know—No, he supposed to know, but he was too happy to realize how Toshiya was feeling. “It’s not your fault.”

“But still… You were crying your happy tears out, hugging me, while I don’t remember anything and just stood there as a doll up for display, letting everyone else decide what to do with me.”

“Toshiya…” Kaoru spoke slowly, he scooted back a bit and tilted Toshiya’s chin towards him. “Look at me.” Toshiya’s watery eyes stared up at him hesitantly. “I’m sorry. We’re sorry.” Kaoru leaned in to place a quick peck on the man’s lush lips, “You were right, we were drowned in our own happiness. We didn’t care about your feelings. It’s just that you’ve been missing for so long, even thought as dead—.”

“I know, I know, that’s why I said it’s just me being silly.”

“No, you’re not silly at all.” Kaoru let their foreheads touched as he stared deep with apology at the other’s pair of eyes, “Sorry.”

“I didn’t mean to ruin everything, don’t tell—.” Kaoru cut his words by kissing him long and tenderly. They savored the taste of each other leisurely. Toshiya needing the comfort and Kaoru needing the forgiveness.

“Sorry.” The older man said after the kiss ended, “I’ll cancel the plan for your stay at your family’s place.”

Toshiya widened his eyes, “What? No! They’ll be disappointed!”

Kaoru sighed, “Yes, they will, but your feelings are more important.”

“No! Kaoru! I…” Toshiya swallowed a sob, “I want to.”

Kaoru looked at him for a while. He didn’t know whether Toshiya was truly ready or he was just still feeling guilty, “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Toshiya smiled and pecked him on the cheek, making all hesitation vanished, “Sorry for crying over such things.”

“Sorry for being a heartless lover.”

Toshiya opened his mouth to protest at that, but Kaoru was quick to seal his lips again to show that the older man needed to blame himself, for somewhat causing Toshiya’s misery. Toshiya poured more into the kiss, to show that even if Kaoru were a heartless person, he would still be all that Toshiya need to go through everything.

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Tbc~ would love some comments :3
 

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