Lovers of Lost Dimension
by Bl4ckm4lice

Blackmalice’s notes: shadow_siberian, as usual, is much love



Chapter 5: The person who was there



“Gah! That guy!” Kyo glowered, “I told you it wouldn’t work out!”

“Well I thought he finally made up his mind when he agreed to go on the tour!” Die defended, “How was I supposed to know that he would still say those things about staying indie after the tour?”

“But still you let him do as he pleased! Why can’t we just kick him out?!”

“Kyo, that’s enough,” Kaoru patted Kyo’s back. Though still enraged, the vocalist went silent.

“Why don’t we just go eat together?” Shinya smiled, attempting to ease the tension. Kyo and Die shrugged as a reply, while Kaoru threw him a thankful look.

Shinya glanced around to see whether there was a nice place to eat. He suddenly remembered about his intention to eat sushi, and as if on cue, the sushi bar he saw sometime ago appeared across the street. “There! Let’s go eat there!” He pointed excitedly.

Die couldn’t help to smile at seeing the drummer’s rare enthusiasm. He ruffled Shinya’s hair and laughed while avoiding the counter-attack. The others trailed behind them to the sushi bar. It was quite packed with people, but they could see from the outside that there were plenty of free seats. As nothing prevented them, they walked in.

It was Shinya who saw the person first.

Familiarity ensued, and he stared in disbelief. This couldn’t be happening. This wasn’t possible. Realization hit him and he turned his head to the side to see Kaoru idly looking the other way at the price list and Die and Kyo chatting with each other, all of them still unaware of the situation.

His brain worked quickly, telling him what to do. So Shinya dragged them back outside as fast as he could.

But a voice beat him to it, “Welcome!”

Kaoru stiffened, and he managed to glance at the owner of the voice just a split second before Shinya dragged them out completely.

Outside, Die and Kyo stared at Shinya questioningly. Kaoru stood unmoved, eyes fixed into the entrance of the sushi bar. His feelings were mixed up. His mind messed up. He couldn’t believe what he just heard, more importantly, who he just saw. He couldn’t have mistaken. He knew him too well.

Oh God…

Kaoru strode towards the sushi bar, but Shinya stepped in front of him, preventing him from moving any further. “Shinya, get out of the away.”

But Shinya pushed him away slightly, barely noticing the puzzled expressions of the other band members, “No.”

“Shinya—”

“Kaoru,” Shinya held the struggling man with all his might, “It isn’t possible.”

“I know what I saw, now move.”

Shinya shook his head, his eyes pleading to make Kaoru understand, “What you saw couldn’t be what you think, it isn’t possible!”

“I don’t care!! Move out of the way, dammit!!” Kaoru shot him one last cold stare before shoving the auburn haired man to the concrete floor. Kyo rushed to look up after Shinya, and Die replaced Shinya’s place in front of Kaoru, glaring angrily at the older man.

Kaoru was getting furious with all the interruptions. He knew what he saw, although his mind was still blurred with things… visions, reminiscences. He ignored the red head, but Die grabbed his collar before he had the chance to move away, “Kaoru! What the hell is wrong with you?!!”

Shinya quickly recovered from his fall and was back holding Kaoru in place, “Kaoru, don’t!” He had to make Kaoru understand. Kaoru should stop living tied to the past. “He’s not Toshiya! It isn’t possible!”

“Shut up!!”

Die and Kyo widened their eyes, though their ears were the ones who wanted to confirm what they just heard. Shinya felt tears sting in the corner of his eyes. How much pain had Kaoru been through? How much love did Kaoru still have for Toshiya? But that pain and love would never be paid off. Although Kaoru knew the truth, he didn’t seem to confide with the fact that the truth was real. Kaoru wanted to live by his fond memory, no matter how much it had eaten him up from inside.

Shinya gulped and tried to brace himself. Although what he was going to say was for Kaoru’s sake, he still felt like a complete heartless wrench. But he had no choice… did he?

“Toshiya… Toshiya is gone, Kaoru!!! He’s DEAD!!!”

Die and Kyo gasped, couldn’t believe that Shinya had just said the unbearable truth… to Kaoru. Kaoru tensed instantly. His eyes flashed with a dangerous combination of sorrow and anger, but whatever move he intended to make was cut off by a voice of a man from inside the sushi bar.

“Oi, Toshiya! Help me here!”

They stood frozen. The street was far from silent, people chatting passing them, the sound of horns from the cars. But each of the four young men felt nothing but bizarre silence. A simple explanation of someone else who might have had the same name didn’t come to them. Instead, memories flooded through their dazed mind. Their time flew back some years ago.

Joyful days.

Bitter days.

Kaoru shook away Shinya’s hands and rushed inside.

************

“Kaoru… Toshimasa had been found.”

The voice of Toshiya’s father filled his ear through the cell phone. For a moment, Kaoru couldn’t process the information. It was the moment he had been waiting for, yet it felt so unreal. His friends, who were sitting around him on his living room, now stared at him questioningly.

He wanted to ask so many questions, where, when… “How is he?”

Silence.

“How is he, Hara-san?”

“Just come here.”

Toshiya’s father had told him to go to a certain hospital, quite far from his house. Toshiya was probably found around there. Kaoru, along with Kyo, Die, and Shinya, quickly took a cab and rushed to the hospital. They didn’t mutter a word throughout the way.

Upon arriving, they ran inside, disregarding the hard, cold rain pouring on their bodies. Just when Kaoru was about to ask a nurse, the sight of a familiar figure stopped him. Toshiya’s father was slumped on a bench near the entrance, looking down and face hidden.

Kaoru strode slowly toward him. “Hara-san...”

The said man looked up, and Kaoru was presented with the harsh reality.

“Kaoru…” Then suddenly, tears fell down the old man’s cheeks. His face was lifeless, hopeless, thick with sadness. He looked several years older, “Toshimasa… he…”

************

“Welcome!”

The same voice which shook him earlier was heard again, and Kaoru quickly turned to the source. There, standing inside the curve of the rolling belt, was a sushi boy. Busy as he seemed, the tall young man with long dark-blue hair tied into a ponytail still managed to throw a welcoming smile towards Kaoru. As soon as their eyes meet, Kaoru couldn’t do anything but stare.

Small dark-brown eyes. Puffy pink cheeks. Pointed nose. Pale smooth skin. Lush, pouty lips.

The features matured, but still looked the same.

Not merely familiar, exactly the same.

Toshiya.

His Toshiya.

The eye contact broke when Toshiya looked down to his unfinished sushi. His hands worked efficiently as he put one sushi after another into the plates which quickly made its way around the rolling belt. A customer who sat near him said something to him and he broke into laughter, showing his teeth. His crooked teeth.

Kaoru ignored a servant who came to ask him where he wanted to sit. He instead strode into the direction of the rolling belt. He stopped when he couldn’t go further, and lost his words. Longing swelled up inside his chest, ready to burst at anytime.

His Toshiya was standing in front of him.

Real.

Not just a piece of his dreams or memories.

So real that Kaoru was afraid the young man would fade away if he made anymore move. Nonetheless, the sushi boy felt the intense stare and looked up. He raised an eyebrow at his new customer’s odd behavior, but let out a smile and pointed to a stool near him. “Sir? There’s a seat left over here—”

“Toshiya.”

He blinked, wondering how the stranger got to know his name. But he shrugged it off and replied, “Yes?”

“Toshiya.” It felt good to have the name rolled from his mouth again. And to have the owner of the name reply to it… felt great.

“…Do I know you?”

Then Kaoru’s world crumbled.

His mouth opened in a gasp. This is not a dream, he reminded himself before he had the time to even think that he had drowned in yet another maze of slumber land. Toshiya must’ve known him. Toshiya must’ve remembered him. He managed to find his voice again and grumbled, “Don’t do this to me.”

It was obvious that the sushi boy was a little frightened by his attitude. Meanwhile, he was getting curious stares from the other customers. His bandmates walked inside too and made their way towards Kaoru. He himself, of course, cared nothing about the world.

“Toshiya, it’s me.”

Still no hint of recognition filled the pretty face.

“It’s me! Kaoru!”

A hand touched his back, and he didn’t need to turn to know it was Shinya. Die and Kyo stood beside him, staring at the sushi boy with the same bewilderment. The one being stared wondered how four strangers appeared out of nowhere and stared at him with evident recognition, one of them insisting that he knew him.

“I’m sorry… Perhaps you got the wrong person?”

Much to everyone’s surprise, Kaoru suddenly slammed the table in front of the rolling belt, shaking all the small plates of the customers. Before anyone could protest, Kaoru leaned forward and yanked Toshiya until their faces nearly touched. “Toshiya, it’s me! Kaoru! How come you don’t recognize me?!!”

“I… I don’t know you! Go away!”

“Kaoru! Stop!” Shinya shrieked while Die and Kyo tried to pull the frantic Kaoru away from the frightened young man.

“Toshiya!! Please!!”

A middle-aged man whom appeared to be the owner of the sushi bar walked from behind them and quickly stood between Toshiya and Kaoru. He glanced at Toshiya who shook his head at the owner. “Is there something you need from Toshiya, sir?”

Kaoru fixed his stare to Toshiya, who turned the other way. “Toshiya… It’s me, Kaoru… Please…”

It was a nightmare. Another nightmare. Anyone who created dreams for him were beyond cruel. Dreams of Toshiya leaving him. Dreams of Toshiya disappearing. Now a dream where Toshiya didn’t even recognize him. Kaoru shut his eyes, hearing Shinya apologize to someone, and feeling his body dragged outside most likely by Die and Kyo.

But this felt too real to be a dream.

Reality was the one who gave him dreams, he realized. And he wondered when reality would stop torturing him.

************

“He was found down on the hill beside a road. It seems that a few days ago a car hit him and the driver drove away without bothering to check up on him, most likely drunk,” The police officer continued to talk in a heartless manner, “His face and some other parts of his body had been severely damaged, but we found the identity in the wallet he brought. And from the report of a missing person we’ve received a month ago, he wore the same clothes from when he was missing.”

Shinya slumped down to the floor and began to cry. Die wrapped an arm around his shoulder, trying very hard not to let out a tear. Kyo was no less shocked and mourned, but he was also worried for his friend who stayed still.

Toshiya’s father who they met near the entrance apparently couldn’t bear to stay there. No one blamed him though.

Toshiya’s mother was crying almost hysterically over her son’s dead body which was covered by a thin sheet of dark cloth.

Dead body.

Kaoru stared at the dead body.

What’s happening? Where am I? Hospital… Yes, I came here because someone called me… Toshiya’s father… Toshiya…?

Toshiya…

Toshiya.

The flood of emotion came so quickly that he didn’t know what to do, and which emotion he should put on his face.

He wanted to laugh, to tell someone to stop this stupid joke.

He wanted to punch the police officer for telling him lies.

He wanted to scream, but no sounds came out.

His tears knew him so well that he didn’t have to tell them to come out. And then he ran away. No one tried to stop him.

Run.

Run.

Splashes of water soaked his already drenched body. The rain continued to pour, mixed with his tears.

His legs couldn’t take him fast enough, not fast enough to escape from everything. He cursed them.

He cursed the world.

A sound of a horn startled his ears, but he paid no care. So what if a car ran him down? Maybe that’s even better. Then he would know how Toshiya felt back then.

He ran faster.

His feet slipped and he fell flat on his face. His nose began to bleed, but he didn’t feel anything. What should he feel anyway? Sadness? Grief? Anger? He didn’t move from his position. People on the street were staring at him. But no one tried to help him. Not that he wanted their help.

No one could help him now.

He had lost Toshiya.

************
TBC

Mooou >_< I’m such a mean writer, I know… But can I get a comment or two?
 

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