Blackmalice’s notes: like i promised... even earlier! here's chapter 8! yep, MENIK helped me again :) *huggles*. I like this chapter better than the last one, nonetheless, please tell me what do you think ^_~



Chapter 8: To Take All Chances


Kyo went back from the toilet to find only two of his band-mates were left. Well, the practice was over anyway. "Kaoru left already"

"Practically ran off right away, to you-know-where," Die grinned, "Kyo-chan won't ask about our other band-mate?"

"Shut up, tomato."

Die was going to protest at the ridiculous name calling, but Shinya interrupted him, "What are we going to do about Kisaki? It seems like... we're drifting further and further apart from him."

"Wouldn't that be better for us." Kyo stated.

"Kyo," Shinya sighed, "Please, for once, put your sensitivity aside and think."

"Well I think," Kyo sneered at him, "That would be better for us. We would not go anywhere if a band member didn't cooperate."

"So do you have another bassist in mind?"

"Of course," Kyo nodded smugly, "In fact, the bassist is being approached by our leader right now."

"Aw forget it, Kyo," Die laughed, "Kaoru didn't even think about that. All he thinks about is how to meet him everyday without being too obvious about it, which of course failed successfully."

"That's a good first step! I’m sure Kaoru wouldn't mind—," Kyo's words were stopped abruptly when a loud thump was heard. Shinya had dropped his bag. "Shinya?"

"You're being too attached to him, you and Kaoru." Shinya stated, obviously hinting about Toshiya.

"And there's something wrong with that?" Kyo asked confusedly, while Die watching the youngest man with an indescribable stare. Shinya kept himself silent and picked his bag back. Kyo touched Shinya's shoulder. "What are you implying?"

"He's not our Toshiya!" Shinya snapped.

Kyo widened his eyes, didn't expect those words, "I know about that—,"

"You know, but you didn't realize that you're thinking the opposite." Shinya shrugged the vocalist's hands off him, "Don’t you... don't you even think about his feelings? What would he feel just being thought of someone else?"

Seeing that Kyo lost his words and unable to talk back, Shinya stormed off outside the studio.

The blonde guy turned his head at Die, his eyes asking questions.

But Die only stared back. It was not his place to speak. He saw more to Shinya's words than what was merely spoken.

************

Kaoru picked up another plate of sushi from the rolling belt in front of him. "Yummy!" He munched happily, "You're really good at this!"

Toshiya smiled, "Come on, I was just serving them. Did you have a practice today too?"

"Yep. In fact, we just got a good news today," Kaoru beamed, "The next live is scheduled already."

"That's great!"

"This weekend, at this livehouse," Kaoru handed over a piece of paper. Toshiya widened his eyes when he saw the name.

"Wow! This livehouse??"

Kaoru grinned proudly, "We thought we'll never got called. I hope you can come... I'll put you on my invitation list?"

"Awesome!" Toshiya clapped his hands. The warm atmosphere was disrupted when another customer called Toshiya, saying that the plates are empty already. Toshiya rushed to serve him. After he finished, he went back to Kaoru and huffed, "Tough job."

"Do I bother you?" Kaoru asked worryingly.

"No, no, don't worry. You've always come near the closing time, so there are not many customers left," Toshiya laughed, "Eh, I didn't imply that you couldn't come any other time, you know."

Kaoru nodded, keeping a secret to himself that he always come late in purpose, so that he could talk with Toshiya freely. He didn't want to annoy Toshiya by coming early and stare at him all the time until he could talk to him.

The closing time finally arrived. Toshiya helped the bar owner to clean everything up while Kaoru waited. It's not that they went home together, the ways are the complete opposite. Kaoru haven't gathered the gut to offer Toshiya to walk him home either. He just wanted to spend every bit of time with the younger man.

"Oh shit!" The bar owner suddenly slapped his head, "Toshiya, I forgot that I have to go to my friend's place."

Kaoru noticed that Toshiya's face fell. The bar owner placed a hand on the pretty man's shoulder, "I still won't let you go home on your own. Do you want to go with me or wait here until I come back?"

"Is there something wrong?" Kaoru asked. He might've sounded too nosy, but he couldn't help it.

The bar owner glanced at Toshiya who nodded hesitantly at him, "Um... Actually... Toshiya got attacked on the way home yesterday."

"What?!!" Kaoru stood up, "Whenwherewho?!"

The bar owner felt slightly amused by Kaoru's reaction, but the matter in hand was not a matter to laugh at. "Last night on his way home, a random drunk man attacked him."

Kaoru turned to Toshiya, who muttered. "It's not really a huge matter. I managed to escape anyway."

"But you got wounded on your feet."

"What?!!" Kaoru looked down and saw some bandages on Toshiya's feet. He didn't know why, but he felt very mad at himself for not noticing them earlier. "Why didn't you say anything? You've always—"

...been like this.

Kaoru stopped himself before he spoke any further.

What was he thinking?

This Toshiya is not his Toshiya.

He couldn't say that the young man's always been like this, because he didn't know this Toshiya.

Not his Toshiya.

"I can walk you home," Kaoru spoke, pushing all thoughts aside. Pushing the guilt that swelled up because he look at his Toshiya in this Toshiya. Pushing his inner heart screams that he was not being fair.

"I don't wanna be a nuisance..."

"You're not!" Kaoru hold his hand and tried to come up with some words to convince him that he's not being a nuisance at all, that Kaoru didn't mind at all as long as Toshiya himself didn't mind.

He failed miserably and ended up opening his mouth.

The bar owner chuckled, "Well, Toshiya, you should take his offer. I think it would be the best. You have a band practice tomorrow morning, right? You should go home soon."

Toshiya pondered and looked at Kaoru, who nodded rapidly trying to convince him. "I'm sorry to trouble you, Kaoru." He finally agreed.

"Not at all!" Kaoru's face brightened. He grabbed his guitar case and nodded at Toshiya. "Should we go now?"

Toshiya bowed at the bar owner and followed Kaoru out of the sushi bar. "This way, Kaoru." He pointed at a direction. They walked side by side, Kaoru glanced at the wound.

"Does it still hurt?"

Toshiya raised an eyebrow, apparently didn't get what was asked before he saw the direction of Kaoru"s glance, "Gosh, really, you and the bar owner took it all too seriously. He actually forced me to take a day off today, which I refused."

"Why didn't you?" Kaoru asked, concern visible in his eyes, "I can't believe you were standing the whole time and working as if nothing happened."

"I can't bring myself to trouble him more than I already did," Toshiya smiled bitterly, "I owe him so much."

Kaoru noticed the trace of sadness in the younger man's expression. He held himself back from asking any further, not wanting to be seen as meddlesome. "But he himself told you to rest. You should take a better care of yourself."

Toshiya rolled his eyes, "Yes, mom."

"Hey!" Kaoru scowled, though the corner of his mouth was raised into a smile, "Don't mock your elder!"

"Ok, grandpa!" Toshiya saluted him playfully and laughed.

Kaoru faked an angry look and raised his hand, pretending wanting to hit him. Toshiya laughed more and ran away, but then winced and stopped abruptly. Kaoru widened his eyes and rushed to him, "What's wrong? Does it hurt?!"

Toshiya grinned pitifully, "Hehe, seems like I forced myself too much."

"Do you want to rest for a while? Want to sit?"

"No, it's okay—"

"Don't say it's okay if it's not okay. Stop forcing yourself. Let's sit—"

"Kaoru, I said it's okay." Toshiya cut his babbling, "I just made the wrong move by running. I'm okay to stand and walk."

Kaoru stared at him for a while, still not believing what Toshiya said. But Toshiya stared back with determination. "Just tell me if you feel any pain." Kaoru finally sighed in defeat and held one of the pretty man's hands, squeezing it to give a pressure to what he just said. He then began to walk again.

Toshiya blinked. He stared at his hand, which still wrapped by Kaoru's. He glanced at the older man ahead of him, who didn't seem to be aware of his own action.

Kaoru felt Toshiya's strange silence, so he looked behind. Just then he finally realized what happened. He almost broke their holding hands in an instant, but then he saw Toshiya's eyes met his and the younger man blushed.

Kaoru blushed himself. He pondered whether he should break it or not. Of course he didn't mind to hold Toshiya's hand, but the other man might not think the same. He stole a glance at Toshiya again.

Toshiya had ducked his head down, avoiding looking at Kaoru. His hand just followed Kaoru's, he neither held back nor pulled away.

Kaoru felt the smoothness of Toshiya's hand and pondered. Toshiya might think of him as a rude person... he should break their hands...

But then, when he felt Toshiya's smooth skin again, he couldn't bring himself to it. He found himself selfishly enjoying this moment, this touch, even if later he would be loathed and despised...

************

Kyo put down his bag on the floor of his apartment. His face scrunched up in a thoughtful expression.

"He's not our Toshiya!"

Kyo knew about that, of course he knew. Kaoru and Die knew it too. Their Toshiya had... gone forever. Never will they forget him, but they have learned to go on with their lives

Maybe except Kaoru.

Kyo sighed and leaned to the wall. He knew that Toshiya the sushi boy was not their Toshiya. But...

"You know, but you didn't realize that you're thinking the opposite."

Did he? Did they?

And Die... Die had this look on his face...

His hand reached out to his pocket. His mind was pretty messed up right now, he needed to smoke. He scowled when he remembered that his cigarette had run out. He decided to buy it in the nearest vending machine before thinking any further and walked outside his apartment, down the stairs to the street.

And saw Kaoru and Toshiya walking hand in hand to his way.

He stared.

Kaoru stared back, blushed, and rapidly let go of his hand.

Toshiya glanced at Kaoru, noticed Kyo, and blushed too.

"Umm," Kyo waved a little, "Hello?"

"What are you doing here?" Kaoru asked, trying desperately to hide his nervousness for being caught.

"I live here, baka." Kyo pointed at the building of his apartment.

Kaoru looked around and his eyes widened in realization.

Toshiya blinked and pointed to the building right beside Kyo's apartment, "I live here."

Kyo blinked back and pointed at the direction of his room, "That's my room."

Toshiya blinked again and pointed at the room right across Kyo's. "That's mine."

Kaoru's jaw dropped in disbelief.

Toshiya was the one who gathered himself first, "Wo...w. How could I've never see you around? My window was practically across yours!"

Kyo scratched his head, "Uh... I never open my window, or my curtain. And we might have different time of coming in and out?"

"What a coincidence!" Toshiya laughed, "And to think that we never realize it!"

Kaoru forced a laugh, "Yeah. Wow."

Kyo suddenly noticed what was hidden behind the forced laugh. Disbelief, envy and jealousy towards Kyo. Kyo laughed.

Toshiya, of course, thinking that Kyo was laughing because of the whole situation. He smiled and turned to Kaoru, "So that's my place. Wanna come in first?"

Kaoru's face brightened, but Kyo was not a devil without being evil. "Eh Kaoru," He smirked, "I need your help with our new song."

Kaoru stared questioningly at him, but then he saw the tint of menace in Kyo's eyes and glowered.

"Well if that so," Toshiya shrugged. He bowed at Kaoru. "Thank you so much for taking me home."

Kyo's lips formed an 'O', while Kaoru glared slightly at him before bowing back. "It's nothing."

Toshiya smiled one last time before waving at them and walked towards his apartment.

Kaoru watched him until his back disappeared. He then turned swiftly at Kyo and sneered, "What the hell did you do that for?!"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Kyo waved his finger in front of Kaoru's face, "What would people say if they saw two adults, who walked home hand in hand, alone in a room?"

Kaoru's face reddened. If possible, Kyo could see some smoke coming out from his ears, "Shut up! It's not like that!"

"Ssh, don't be so loud. Wouldn't want Toshiya, my dear neighbor to be disturbed, right?"

Kaoru tensed, but didn't get caught by Kyo's bait. Kyo laughed inwardly. He put his hands on Kaoru's shoulder, a smirk formed on his lips, "Aww Kaoru."

"WHAT." His leader snapped.

Kyo only shook his head, "I feel sorry for you."

"I'm gonna kill you!!"

************
Tbc~
Comments please? ^^

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