The Great Manipulator

by Lady7 ( runaluna )

Comments: Thank you so much for reading! I apologize for the late update. Here’s the second half of part 9 ^^ hope y’all enjoy.

author’s note :
1. f.y.i. = for your information
2. SNAG = Sensitive New Age Guy
3. Kimutaku : Takuya Kimura
 

Chapter 9B

You’re so dead Die …. so dead


Toshiya stood in front of the opened door and looked at Shinya, who handed him a bottle of mineral water, “Here, Die might need this” the younger man said and Toshiya took it without saying anything. His eyes were focused on the three figures sitting around a table inside the room. Die looked like he was about to pass out anytime soon, but he insisted talking to them.

“I’ll see you guys later” Shinya said and was about to walk away when Toshiya suddenly grabbed his arm, “Wait! You mean, … you not going in?” he asked. The drummer shrugged and glanced at Kaoru and Kyo who was anxiously sitting in front of Die. Kaoru’s knuckles were so white and Kyo basically was chewing on his lower lip. The vocalist knew about Die’s “breakup”, but he wouldn’t have ever imagined finding Die on the roof.

“Die asked me to wait for him here. He said he wanted to talk to you three. I’m not in the picture” he replied, and when Toshiya shot him a surprised look, he added, “This should be about … the break up. I knew about it, and he assumes you guys don’t. So… you must go in there and act your best. I mean…” he paused and shook his head, “Kaoru and Kyo surely are giving it away. Look at their faces!” he chuckled.

Toshiya joined his eyebrows and this time he looked at Shinya, as if the drummer was insane, “Die just almost got killed, and we’re not supposed to look scared? Or terrified?” he asked with a tone higher.

“No, I mean … yes...” Shinya stuttered and sighed, “My point is … he told me not to tell you guys so let’s keep it secret until he tells you himself. Okay?” he looked at Toshiya and smiled weakly, “I’ll be here, waiting. If you need anything, just … let me know” he offered and patted Toshiya’s back.

Toshiya sighed and smiled back as weakly, then unwillingly he stepped into the room and Shinya closed it behind him. The drummer checked his watch and waited. Heh… he waited for another three minutes and then quietly, carefully, opened the door to take a peek.

At three minutes Die hadn’t even started saying anything. He took the bottle from Toshiya and smiled appreciatively. Toshiya sat next to Kaoru and threw Kyo a look, which Kyo looked back fearlessly.

“So guys …” Die muttered, and cleared his throat. He figured better to get it started than to have them killing each other. He put down the bottle and stared at it for a while. “I … I think I should apologize”

Kaoru blinked while the other two were surprised, “Apologize?! For what?!” Toshiya exclaimed.

The red head shrugged and laughed nervously. “What I did just now… was stupid. I was …” he hesitated, “I’m in my best condition right now. I… I’m going thru a hard time” he whispered and looked up at Kyo, who quickly gave him a knowing look. Kaoru and Toshiya exchanged looks and Die continued, “You know what Kaoru, the stuff you told me upstairs… about not avoiding my problems and try to deal with them instead?”

Kaoru nodded

“You have a point there” Die stated calmly.

Kaoru actually looked pleased.

Die continued, “I’ve got a huge problem right now … this is by far the toughest time in my life. I’m probably repeating myself … but inside this brave front” the red head paused to take a deep breath and put a palm on his chest, ‘I’m … shattering” he whispered with a quivering voice

… and Shinya put a palm on his face.

Kaoru leaned forward and gave Die an encouraging look, “We understand Die, we do. And we’re all here for you. But what’s going on?” he asked. Toshiya nodded, and was aware that they had to look curious and worried, so he tried his best not to look sympathetic.

“You see… I’m dealing with issues right now, but guys …” Die paused and shook his head disappointedly, “I came here this morning with such a positive attitude, I’m finally feeling better than yesterday” he looked at Kyo, “We were hanging out, having a good time just now… and I saw you two” he looked at Kaoru and Toshiya, “You guys just stood in a corner and completely avoided us”

Toshiya brought his hand to his chin and started to bite his nails as Die continued, “And then when we walked pass them, Kyo, you just walked on without even looking”

And Kyo paled

Everyone was speechless, when Die, with his eyes all red, stared at them, one by one, as if accusingly. “The last thing I need now, really, is another problem adding to the one I already have” Die sounded like he was trying not to cry. Kaoru gulped and held his breath. Never once he saw Die in such … grief stricken pain.

“Maybe … maybe the situation I’m in right now makes me … a more sensitive person…” Die choked and paused, calming his breath. Was the red head crying already? No one could really tell because he had hung his head so low they could barely see his face.


No, it’s you being so gay that made you such a drama queen, Shinya chuckled inside. The other three were looking at each other in panic. Toshiya crying they could handle. Die? Die?. That’s like Kaoru crying, and it’s impossible. Sure Die could look so fragile at times, but he was The Smile in the band. Shinya narrowed his eyes as he studied the situation inside the room. It was exactly because Die was the one who always had a smile on his face, that maybe he’s hiding something behind those smiles.

Oh, asking Die to do this was perfect! It was such a satisfaction to watch the other three going thru different emotions at a time, and it really showed in their faces. They must be so guilty right now.

“I feel that … there’s something going on between the three of you that I don’t know about” Die managed to stay calm and took a deep breath, “I care a lot about you guys. If there’s a problem, please don’t fight … please …” the red head begged and Kyo fidgeted in his seat. It was so emotional… Toshiya looked like he was about to cry himself. He glanced at Kaoru, and the guitarist was trying his best to maintain that calm collected look.

“You said if there’s any problem, the only thing to do is find a solution” Die said to Kaoru, “So …” he trailed off and looked at the rest, “Please … just please … I’d really, really appreciate it”

Only when Die got up and walked out of the room that they realized no break up was mentioned in the conversation.

…

Outside the room, Die winked at Shinya and pulled the younger man close to him, ‘So … how was I?”

Shinya felt the big vein on his forehead about to pop. Die covered his mouth and realized that was a wrong question to ask. He inched away from the drummer slowly as Shinya put his hands on the hips, “How were you? How were you?!!”

Die winced at the tone and held up his hands, “Come on Shinya! You gotta give me props for being such a good actor!”

Shinya’s face turned beet red as he clenched his fists, “When you tumbled forward up there … I couldn’t do anything!” he hissed, “I just stood there like a fucking idiot, thinking maybe you really were drunk! But what if you were not, and it’s part of the act?!”

The red head grinned and shrugged, only adding fuel to fire.

“Don’t give me this shit Die! My heart was in here” Shinya pointed at his mouth, “You are my lover, you know how I feel about you! I thought you really gonna fall …and you’re acting the whole fucking time?!!!” the drummer exclaimed, finally losing his calm.

Die’s face turned serious and he looked at the younger man intently, ‘I’m sorry … I’m sorry” he repeated, and continued, “I should know how it feels if it’s you up there. But Shinya … you have to agree with me on this one! It worked! It actually worked! And we’re supposed to stick together, not fighting like this!”

Shinya widened his eyes in surprise, and a little bit more of anger. Die winced and shook his head, ‘What did I say wrong?” he asked unsurely.

“You’re telling me to stick together, when you’re the one who went off and planned something bizarre like faking a suicide?”

“Suicide attempts” Die corrected, as he felt the need to, “Faking suicide and faking suicide attempts are two totally different things, Shinchan”

Shinya could only look at Die dumbfoundedly.

“And f.y.i., I didn’t plan the tumble. If you saw the horror on my face, fine I’ll admit it. That was an accident. How was I supposed to know Toshiya was so fucking careless? That guy was really something I couldn’t fathom! I was sitting on the railing and he just slid off the thing like no one’s business!” Die explained with a blush on his face and looked at Shinya.

The drummer put a palm on his forehead as he hung his head down. Then the palm slowly wet down to his mouth, and Die noted his shoulders shaking.

‘Oh come on Shinya!” Die exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air, “That’s not funny! I was seriously scared shitless!!!”

The drummer bit his lower lip hard and held his breath. Then he calmed down and replied, “You probably deserve that one” he muttered weakly and tried to suppress more laughter. “And f.y.i.” he teased Die, “Kaoru did say Toshiya was Toshiya, therefore he was reckless”

Die pouted

“And one more thing Die … I guess you’re not as good as you claim to be” Shinya teased more, “Maybe a golden globe. Definitely not an Oscar” he laughed and pointed at Die’s face, “Look at you! Look at your face!”

The red head shook his head and changed the subject, “Be that way Shinya. Now tell me, the conversation I had in the room with them, what you think?” he asked curiously.

Shinya held back a smile and pouted instead, “Very dramatic” he commented like a true critic, wrapping his arms around Die’s waist, “I tried my best not to giggle … sensitive huh?” he teased. Die grinned and shrugged, “SNAG Shinchan, I’m a SNAG”

Not being able to hold himself, Shinya laughed more and shook his head, “No. Not SNAG. You’re no Kimutaku. Two words Die, two words” Shinya said, ticking with his fingers, “Drama. Queen”

“Oh whatever” Die sulked, “You’re still here so you must have loved me for whoever I am”

“Cocky bastard!” Shinya gasped playfully.

Die laughed and asked, “Hey you think it’s settled?”

Shinya leaned on the wall and smiled, “Should be”

“Should we go home now? I need a shower” he sniffed his underarm, “Gross! Smell?”

Shinya made a face and inched away, and before he could snap at Die, his cell phone rang.

“Who’s that?”

“No idea!” Shinya replied and looked at the screen, “It’s Kyo!” he gasped in surprise and answered it, “Kyo kun? What’s wrong?”

Die looked on curiously as Shinya’s face went thru different emotions at a time. The drummer said nothing, merely nodded and gave short, curt replies. Then he hang up and looked at the red head with a surprise look on his face, “Kyo wants me to join them” he said rather anxiously, “I don’t know what he’s up to, but he wants me in there” he pointed at the closed door.

“Well” Die pondered, “Maybe he needs you … to be like a mediator or something” he explained and Shinya rolled his eyes, replying, “What fucking mediator? This isn’t some war … or terrorist hostage” he huffed and Die started to smile at him.

“Stop grinning you make me mad with that smile on your face!” Shinya retorted and dug his fingers into the pants pocket, “You know what? Why don’t you wait for me in the car Die?” he handed the guitarist a key, “I’ll tell you what happened later at home”

Die smiled and nodded, “Sure, tell me everything!” he pecked Shinya’s cheek and walked away. The drummer waited until his lover’s back disappeared before turning toward the door. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door opened.

Immediately three pairs of eyes looked at him, and Shinya started to feel nervous.

“Come sit here” Kyo said, but it sounded more like an order. Shinya rigidly walked up to them and sat next to Kyo. Die was right, he was sitting in the middle, Kyo to his right, Kaoru and Toshiya to his left. What fucking mediator, he started this whole thing! Slowly, he glanced at Kaoru, who somehow looked more relaxed.

“Shinya’s been with me since day one. I really appreciate what he’s done for me” Kyo said calmly and looked at Shinya with a smile on his face, a genuine smile. Shinya couldn’t help but smiled back. Kyo then continued, “The reason why I want Shinya here is because I want to end all this shit today, right now”

Kaoru exhaled and started to smile. Toshiya blinked and looked at Kyo hopefully.

“You two can’t imagine how disturbed I was during the ‘difficult’ days and how … how much I felt betrayed” Kyo’s voice started to sound emotional and he looked at Toshiya, “By you, I felt so betrayed by you. We were close at the time, yet there’s this huge thing I wasn’t aware of”. Toshiya bit his lower lip and started to shake his head, “No…” the bassist tried to defend himself, “It wasn’t betrayal!”

“But you could’ve told me!” Kyo hissed

“I couldn’t!” Toshiya replied exasperatedly, “I didn’t know how you’d react! We were still in our early years… yes, we were close, but not close enough to tell if you’d be okay with something like that!” he explained, “I didn’t mean to hide it from you”

Kaoru sighed and patted Toshiya, “We’re sorry Kyo, we are very sorry. You shouldn’t have found out that way …”

“No shit Kaoru!” Kyo spat and leaned forward, Shinya put a hand on Kyo’s chest and Kaoru inched away, “Kyo kun, we should remain calm. I know you’re angry but let’s not act like teenagers about it” Shinya advised wisely. To his surprise actually, Kyo calmed down.

“Kyo, please” Toshiya said, “We know you’re pulling on the thread here. We feel guilty, and we apologize, so is there a need for this?”

Shinya nudged the vocalist, who rolled his eyes and sighed, “Fine, I’ve forgiven you guys long before Die told me about his break up!”

“WHAT!” Kaoru and Toshiya exclaimed in unison, “YOU KNEW?!!!”

Shinya leaned his back on the couch and looked heavenward. Why…. WHY?? Why did Kyo have to drop this into the conversation???

Kyo looked somewhat shocked, “Wait, you mean, you guys knew?!!” he pointed at the two. And then slowly, very slowly everyone turned to Shinya.

Kyo : “You told them?!!”

Kaoru and Toshiya : “Kyo knew first?!!!”

Shinya covered his face and sighed tiredly, “I told them” he pointed at Kaoru and Toshiya, “Die told him” his other hand pointed at the vocalist.

“Die told you?!!! Die himself told you?!!” Kaoru sounded pissed, and Toshiya scrunched up his face, “But why? Why did he choose to tell you? Not us? Why are we left out?!” Toshiya berated, “Not fair!” he protested and looked at Shinya, demanding an answer.

“Guys … this isn’t the right time to talk about this” Shinya reminded them but then Toshiya and Kaoru were glaring at him. Shinya closed his mouth and gulped, “If you insist …” he paused and looked at Kyo, “Maybe Die caught the depressed vibe from Kyo. You have to remember, the reason why he hasn’t told you about it, is because he doesn’t want to burden you guys. You are two happy people who are content with you lives” Shinya pointed at Kyo, “I think Kyo kun got hit badly because of the tape incident, and for a while he was very depressed”

Toshiya joined his eyebrows, “So you’re saying Die tried to find someone who’s in the same state of mind?”

What Shinya found so funny about tho, was Kaoru actually buying his idea, “I’ve read somewhere if one’s got a secret, he seeks solace in someone else that’s in, more or less, the same situation” the guitarist spoke matter of factly, "I think it’s just like a highschool girl who has relationship problems, obviously she’ll go for a friend who also has the same problem. Do you think she’d tell a virgin friend her boyfriend can’t get it up?” Kaoru asked.

Toshiya joined his eyebrows and looked at Kaoru as if he was insane, “You’re comparing Die with a highschool chick with sex problems?”

Shinya hit Kaoru’s chest lightly, “Too far Kaoru, too far” he said, and the older man insisted, “Theoretically it’s correct. I’m only explaining it this way for someone’s simple mind”

“Too far” Shinya mouthed silently but it was too late. “What?! Are you saying I’ve got a simple mind Kaoru?” Toshiya exclaimed. Kaoru leered and raised an eyebrow, “I never mention any names. Clearly you yourself think you’ve got one, which isn’t very far from the truth. Did you guys see how careless he was with the railings up there?” the guitarist turned to the other two.

“This is the time to come clean” Kyo suddenly said. “I’m not prying on your personal life, so at the very least … when it comes to this sex tape subject, I want everyone here to tell me whatever secret they have.. Toshiya” he looked at the bassist sharply, “Anything?”

Toshiya blinked and looked surprise, “What? Oh … well …” he paused and thought for a while, “I … I actually suspected something’s going on between Die and you” he looked at Shinya, and continued, “But obviously, you’re being nice to him, so I apologize”

Kyo made a face, “That’s your secret? If Die and Shinya were to hook up, they would’ve done it years ago” he huffed.

No one really noticed Shinya fidgeted a little in his seat.

“Hey! I took so long searching for the tape, and Mr. Superior here was constantly breathing down my neck!” Toshiya protested, gesturing at Kaoru, who pouted, “Well, I was freaking out then. But there is something I think we need to explain to them” he looked at Toshiya with a smile, “All the things that were in the tape … they don’t happen anymore”

Toshiya nodded, “Yeah. It’s history, and all in the past. We put it behind us, because we’re tired of trying to make things work” he looked at Kaoru, and the guitarist smiled, “As y’all can see, we kinda try to kill each other when put under pressure. And with so much going on at the time, we … just…” he trailed off and Toshiya continued his sentence, “We broke up. But now we’re happy”

“So is there any chance for you guys to get back together …?” Shinya asked, somehow hopeful inside.

Kaoru and Toshiya looked at each other and laughed, “The tension is still there at times …” the bassist said, “We clearly are aware of each other’s presence. Whether we’ll get back together … hmm … ” Toshiya paused and tilted his head to a side.

“We never know what the future has in store for us … so …” Kaoru shrugged and winked, “We might … but …”

“Let’s see! That’s for all of us to find out!” Toshiya exclaimed and looked at Kyo, who thought for a while before nodding, “That’s actually good to hear” he admitted.

“Anything else you hiding from us Kaoru kun?” Shinya wondered where the guitarist hid his copy of the sex tape.

“I don’t have anymore sex tape secret to hide from you guys…” Kaoru replied confidently, and hearing that Toshiya raised an eyebrow. They all looked at him suspiciously, and Kaoru gave up, “Fine, I have another copy of that tape …” he blushed, “It’s … hidden somewhere …. in a place very safe”

“Where?” Kyo inquired.

Toshiya started to giggle, “In a bank’s safety box, but he never told me which bank!” he blurt out, and Kaoru quickly covered Toshiya’s mouth with his hand, “That’s right! That’s all the secret in the world you guys need to know!” he said with reddening cheeks.

Shinya lifted an eyebrow. That was a good place to hide his own tapes! He was shocked he’d never thought of that!!!

Oh but now everyone’s staring at Shinya.

…

“What?” The drummer muttered weirdly, looking at them.

“Do you have a secret Shinya?”

…

Shinya scratched his head

“Well” Toshiya muttered, “I know about the Ultimate Shinya Secret that would be revealed exclusively when you turn the big 3-0. But other than that, … you know, is there anything you’d like to share?”

Kaoru chuckled, “Maybe like your own sextape?” he suggested and laughed, “God like that’s possible”

Kyo shrugged, “It can be. Hey, a Shinya sex tape isn’t impossible, especially if a certain red head is involved”

“Yeah” Kaoru thought for a while, “If one day there is such sex tape, we’ll know Die drug you into doing it”

“You can never trust Shinya too much Kaoru” Toshiya noted, “He’s too secretive”

As the other three made more comments about a Shinya sextape that might involve Die in it, the drummer sat there silently, collecting his thoughts. He was so dying to tell Kyo about it. The way things had turned around, it seemed like Kyo would accept anything and everything. Then Toshiya, he wanted to share this little secret with Toshiya. Of course, the bassist would kill him for a bit, but after that, Shinya was sure Toshiya would be happy for him.

The only person he didn’t want to tell was Kaoru, for the obvious reasons. Kaoru thought Shinya was more level headed than the rest. If he revealed everything, from stealing Toshiya’s tape, putting it into Kyo’s box which resulted in the poor blond watching it … thus finding out, to the fake suicide 'attempts' …

It’s too much.. too much for Shinya himself, and he’s the one started the whole thing. What would Kaoru think of it? There’s the imaginary girlfriend … and the imaginary break up … and Die. He was sure Die wanted to tell Kaoru himself.

“Shinya?”

The drummer snapped out of his thoughts and looked at Kyo. Then slowly, he averted his eyes to Toshiya, and Kaoru.

“I have no secrets” Shinya said decidedly. No one noticed the clenched fists. He felt if they were to find out, it should be the five of them sitting down in a room and had a talk about it. Not like this. Not soon after the shock over Toshiya’s sextape died down.

“I have nothing to hide from you guys …” Shinya said with a laugh, “I mean, of course I have secrets, but they’ve got nothing to do with …” he paused, “With this subject” he ended determinedly.

Kaoru was the first one who spoke after a long silence, “Great! I think it’s settled!”

“Yay!” Toshiya cheered and threw his arms around Kyo, “Are we friends again?” he asked the vocalist, who laughed, “We always are Totchi, under any circumstances!” the blond replied, patting Toshiya’s back. Shinya smiled a little as Kaoru joined the hug.

How guilty was he to find himself standing apart from the other three, weight on his shoulders as he watched them hugging in relief when he’s all guilty inside? Ahhh but then Kyo caught his eyes, and winked at him. Shinya’s smile grew wider as he realized … that’s right. They were friends and would always be friends no matter what happened.

Maybe things would be fine in the end, because no one really knew what future had in store for them.

***

“So?”

Shinya sighed and leaned back on the seat

“It’s all good now”

Die grinned and pulled his lover close, “We’ll be fine”

“Not really” Shinya suddenly said, pulling away from the red head, “Kyo … I think Kyo suspected something”

“What?!”

“I mean … if I was Kyo, after the truth came out, I’d seek for more. And the way Kyo looked at me, he even said a Shinya's sextape was not impossible, especially with you in it”

Die blinked, "Whoa!" he muttered.

"Exactly!" Shinya hissed.

“But you don’t look like you’re lying”

Shinya bit his lips and looked at Die uncertainly, “I’m scared if they get to talk … they’ll find out that some things that I told Kyo, aren’t the same with what I told Kaoru and Toshiya. Can you imagine? If they realize I’m not telling the same story?”

Die looked at his lover funnily, “Come on, you always know what you’re talking about” he consoled.

“Honestly” Shinya stated, “I don’t even know what I said to them ten minutes ago in the room. If they talk about it more, they’ll find out. If Kyo starts asking me questions about you ... and me ... ” the drummer sighed and massaged his temples, “I don’t … I can’t … I can't lie anymore. I can’t do this anymore”

Die looked at his lover worriedly. Then slowly, he put an arm around Shinya and shook his thin frame lightly, “Everything will be alright Shinchan. I’m here. And I promise you, there won’t be anymore lies from now on”

Shinya nodded and smiled.

“But … if you’re really scared, then something has to be done, just in case” Die added in the end, and it made Shinya looked at him with joined eyebrows, “What?”

“It’s nothing Shinchan … nothing. Let’s go home”
 

************