~anata o wasureru~

by VanillaMint

VM: it feels so long since i've last written! but here is a kaoruXtoshiya fic^_^! i first posted it on kaoruXtotchi community^^~ after reading lady7's sextape fic on ljs, VM decided to make one too~ so please do visit and leave some comments/add me^^ http://vmnoneko.livejournal.com

 


In life, there are always sweet memories when we think back. Then we wonder why couldn’t we have stayed in that sweet memory…perhaps when we have something, we long for other things that we can’t have. But to obtain that, we have to let go of what’s in our hands now.

“ What are you saying, Kaoru?” Toshiya stared at his lover with hurt eyes.

“ Toshiya, we’re both getting older. Do you not want a family?”

Toshiya looked away. “ Don’t pull me into this. What you really mean is you can’t have the family you want while being with me, right?”

“ Totchi…”

“ Don’t ‘Totchi’ me! I’m sorry I’m not a woman and I’m sorry I fell in love with you!” Toshiya grabbed his car keys and stomped out of their apartment, banging the door behind him. 


They say, when things happen, they happen for a reason. I wonder if it’s truly for a reason, a fateful coincidence or a rare convenience. 


It was raining heavily outside. The sound of the rain drowned out the voices in the TV. The only light source in the room came from the TV. Kaoru’s hand held the remote control with which he kept changing the channels.

He was waiting for Toshiya. But he knew Toshiya probably would not come back tonight.

His handphone rang.

“ Moshi moshi.”

The rain was so loud I had trouble hearing the voice on the other end of the line. But I heard Toshiya’s name and the word hospital. 


Strange how it seems that there’s someone other than yourself that holds your heart. Someone who’s life is as important or more important than yours. 


The cold air stung as his lungs struggled to take it in at the rapid pace Kaoru was breathing. A nurse shouted at him to not run in the hospital but he only heard the pounding of his heart.

As the door flung open, Kaoru saw Kyo seated beside Toshiya. Toshiya lay on the white bed, bruises visible on his pale face.

“ How…how is he?”

Kyo half-sighed. “ He got into quite a bad accident. Fractured his leg. But the doctor says he should be alright.”

Toshiya stirred and a painful grimace appeared on his face as he moved too much. Kaoru went to the bedside and gently touched Toshiya’s shoulder.

“ How are you feeling?”

Toshiya looked up at Kaoru, confused for a second. “ It hurts all over.”

“ Just rest. I’ll go get your stuff from home.”

Toshiya looked at Kaoru again with the vague expression.

“ Toshiya, you alright?”

“ I’m thinking hard. You seem familiar but…who are you?” 


When you have memories together, what happens when the other person forgets? Then it becomes like a dream, a bittersweet dream, that only I alone had, for the past six years. 


“ You sure you’re okay?” Shinya asked.

“ Don’t worry. I can still play!” Toshiya laughed as he limped in. “ I’ve been so bored sitting at home.”

“ Well, at least you have Kaoru to take care of you at home,” Shinya said.

Toshiya had a troubled look on his face. “ I feel bad. I don’t remember him.”

“ Hey, the doctor said you probably bumped your head. It’ll slowly come back.”

“ …”

Perhaps this way he won’t get hurt. Not remembering how much he loved me and those cruel words I said. 


“ You haven’t told him?” Die frowned as he fingered the base of his beer mug. The pub was not very crowded.

Kaoru let out a puff of smoke. “ I don’t know if I should. If he knew, it’ll just cause him unnecessary pain.”

They let silence hang between them for a while.

“ You might regret this.”

Kaoru nodded. “ Maybe.”

“ Are you ready to let go of him?”

Kaoru stared at the condensation on his beer glass, unable to answer Die’s question. 


Life moves in mysterious ways. But what I did was just selfish. I told myself I didn’t want to hurt you. Maybe I’m just taking the easy way out. 


“ I find it strange that a rockstar like Kaoru-san would come for a marriage meeting,” the young woman in front of him commented.

“ Is it so strange?” Kaoru thought, looking up from his nicely-arranged food.  

“ I couldn’t find love but I feel ready for a family. Kaoru-san, why did you come to meet me?” 


Why, indeed? For children, for a family, for a normal life…? Without Toshiya, what would my life be like? Shades of grey. 


Kaoru came home to find Toshiya packing away his things. The bassist turned around to greet him. “ Okaeri, Kaoru-kun. Thanks for having me here.”

Kaoru stepped into the room, gazing at the picture of them lying on the top of the opened box. “ Don’t thank me. This is your house too.”

Toshiya smiled cluelessly. “ You’ve been very kind. Now that I’ve fully recovered, I shouldn’t impose on you any longer.”

“ Toshiya…” Kaoru grabbed Toshiya’s hand and the younger man tensed in surprise. “ You don’t remember?”

“ Remember what?”

Kaoru sighed. “ Nothing.” 


I watched you as you walked out of my life. I remembered you saying you regret falling in love with me. And my heart cried. 


It was raining again. The same as that day. From the apartment, a man ran out, letting the rain drench him from head to toe.

“ Toshiya!!!” Kaoru called out. “ Toshiya!”

Toshiya turned around, just about to get into the cab. “ Kaoru?”

Kaoru caught up with Toshiya. The other man looked at him with a puzzled expression as he catch his breath. Then he dropped the umbrella he was holding as Kaoru kissed him. Toshiya stood still, surprised at the suddenness of it all.

“ Don’t go. Don’t leave me.”

“ Kao…what are you saying?”

“ We’ve been together for six years, Toshiya. Even though you have forgotten and I’ve hurt you, please…please don’t leave. I…love you and I’ll never let go off you for the rest of our lives!” Kaoru wrapped his arms around the taller man. “ Don’t go.”

Time stood still for a few seconds except for the falling rain and the hum of the cab’s engine.

Then Toshiya wrapped his arms around the other man. “ Okay, I won’t leave. And I’m sorry too…”

“ You don’t have to say sorry…”

Kaoru flicked Toshiya’s wet fringe from his eyes. “ You remember?”

Toshiya smiled but there were happy tears in his eyes. “ I’ve never forgotten.”

+
Owari^^

VM: so what happened there?
Kaoru: totchi remembered everyone else but me! *cry*
Totchi: I told you I didn’t forget!
Kyo: totchi and I came up with this idea to punish youXD!
Kaoru: what?!
VM: who’s thought Toshiya’d be so manipulative=p
Totchi: I’d do anything to keep Kaoru~ mweheh~


Any comments? Please?

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