Joe: What's it say....? 'The Mystery Machine'...it looks like a hippy van if you ask me.
Rusty: I wonder why it's filled with smoke?
Joe: Who cares, we're at the zombie ape tree.
Anna: I'm actually going to ask my original question again...do we have a plan?
Joe: Well, I must admit, I had an alterior motive for coming here...
Rusty: Does it involve licorice whips, leather chaps, and yellow spandex by any chance?
Joe: No!
Rusty: But it's already in the trunk.
Joe: My plan is to get pictures of the zombie apes and make a fortune.
Anna: It's scary to believe that piece of crap plan is actually better than your last piece of shit plan.
Joe: Wow, you do have a way with words that is so incredibly unappealing to my senses.
Rusty: Get down! I see one! This is going to make a great picture.
Joe: I got it. I'm going to get another one...hey, what's that stupid sheriff doing in my picture?
Anna: Why is he tackling that ape? I don't believe it..it's not an ape, it's a person in a mask!
Rusty: Hey, look over there. The hippies must own that stupid green van.
Joe: Why is that guy wearing that orange scarf? He's probably gay.
Anna: Or at least bi.
Rusty: Hey, look. The sheriff is bringing that crazy guy over to that patrol car. Let's go check it out.
Joe: Excuse me sir, what exactly is going on here?
Sheriff: Well, you can just keep moving along, there's nothing to see here.
Anna: We'll give you a dollar.
Sheriff: Let me see it.
Anna: Here you go.
Sheriff: Well, this crazy bastard was dressing up like an ape killing people and eating their brains.
Brain Eater: And I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those damn kids!
Joe: Just for the record...um, Crazy Person, why did you say you were from Atlantis?
Brain Eater: That was mainly to write off taxes.
Joe: And why did you need to dress up like a zombie ape to kill people?
Brain Eater: Because it says so in the Bible.
Anna: Where does it say that in the Bible??
Brain Eater: It does, you just have to read between the lines...it's right after Jesus defeats the Mongol army.
Joe: I guess that answers all the questions, and it sounds like we've wrapped up yet another mystery.
Hippy: But we solved the mystery!
Rusty: What's your name, hippy-boy?
Hippy: My name's Fred.
Rusty: Well Fred, shut your mouth or it's go time!
Fred: Oh, really?
Rusty: Oh, yeah. You and your gay little orange scarf are going down!
Fred: It is not a gay scarf! It's just flamboyant.
Joe: Well, this is where our little tale takes a turn towards the illegal side of the law. So the recorder goes off until next time...
