It all started with graphic anal sex.
"Fuck my fucking arse you dirty cunt whore penis toy," Matt groaned with pleasure as the dildo up his arse plowed his warm magenta depths. He did this most days but today was very different. It was a Wednesday. At that moment, Matt was interupted by the telephone ringing.
"Jesus Christ Pants!" he blasphemed.
He waddled over to the phone not bothering to extract the 14 inch black mambo rubber cock wedged between his hairy flabby cheeks. This seemed to hinder his speed as by the time he reached the phone it had cut out.
"Holy fucking bitch!" he yelled as he kicked the phone out the nearest open window.
Unfortunately this exertion caused the dildo to launch from his anus and rocket through the neighbouring townships, killing all but a small old lady who was previously dead. Matt felt terribly nertundy and embarrassed. Lacking a dildo, it seemed the only use for his blueberry flavoured lubricant now was to pour it on his cornflake. This proved to be fatal and Matt never wore pants again.

Epilogue: At Matt's funeral, the priest called him a cunt and told him to go fuck himself in Hell. So I guess it's a happy ending after all.

THE REVIEW:

Bronson K Volcomstalker: Not a bad story, but a few innacuracies hindered it's credibility. For instance, the descriptions of anal sex were hardly realistic, the flying dildo ignored all natural laws of physics, and blueberry lubricant is no longer available. Additionaly, Matt never wore pants to start off with. Spike Firestorm: This is the new 'Greatest Story Ever Told'. If this story were a cake I'd eat nothing but.