Here is some shamelessly stolen humor (Mostly because I can't remember where I found it.)
YOU MIGHT BE AN AMBERITE IF...
...you consider family reunions a good place to pick up chicks.
...a bladed weapon is your idea of an appropriate birthday gift...
...for a ten-year-old.
...your family tree does not fork...
...it loops.
...your little sister can bench-press a Buick...
...one handed.
...you wake up in the middle of the night with chest pain, and your first thought is, "How did the assassin get past my wards?" ...you paid points for your girlfriend...
...and she dumps you anyway.
...the family tradition is to use dry-erase boards instead of tombstones, to save on corrections.
...you put a picture of your mother on your coat of arms...
...and no-one comments on the resemblance, because she's a different species.
...the song 'Just Me and my Shadow' makes you laugh out loud.
...you've sworn undying allegience to three Monarchs of Amber this week, and it's Tuesday.
...the relative you hate the most is your Parent.
...the relative you hate the most is your Devotee.
...the relative you hate the most is your Pattern-Ghost.
...the phrase 'dressed to kill' is actually a warning about the person in question.
...you hesitate to take a trump call because it might not be a family member, then you decide not to take the contact at all, because it might be a family member.
...you put up more magical defenses for the family dinner than for invading Swayvill's home.
...if you've ever been stabbed in the back over the last roll at the dinner table.
..."bad flu season" is a convenient funeral excuse for outsiders.
..."old family friends" are enough to call out the household guard.
...you've ever dueled for 24 hours straight with no conclusive result. ...family picnics required being wary of aunts not ants. ...you've ever fired 42 guns in salute to the rightful King of Amber in any given 24-hour period.
...you've been a tinker, a tailor, a soldier, a thief, a doctor, a lawyer and an Indian Chief...
...before breakfast.
...you've ever played bridge with an odd set of cards, and wound up with six extra players.
...you've ever made yourself the center of the universe...
...literally.
...you've ever ridden like the devil himself was after you...
...and he was.
...it's not one thing, it's your mother.
...You think Machiavelli wasn't nearly sneaky enough.
...you think Machiavelli could have learned something from you.
...and you admit that you're a rank amateur, even so.
...you've regrown a body part, simply to exact sweeter revenge.
...you've worked out the minute details of your death curse, just in case.
...your number in the succession lineage has dropped from triple to single digits...
...in days.
...in hours.
...in minutes.
...which has resulted in your premature demise.
...you have made a backhanded compliment hurt more than an up-front criticism.
...there's something to be said for relatives, which has to be said because it's unprintable.