ABCs of an X-Boyfriend A is for the automobile which he doesn't own. B is for BULLSHIT, which is what he was full of. B is also for brain, which was located between his legs. C is for the commitment that was never there. D is for the dildo he didn't know I had. D is also for "Damn the bad luck" which is what I have in Dating men. E is for everything he said we'd do, everything he said he was, and every- thing he's not. E is also for ego. His was bigger than a hot air balloon. F is for faithful, as long as there wasn't something or someone better to do. G is for GOD the one he thought he was and wanted to be worshipped as. G is also for the spot he could never find! H is for laughter (HA! HA!) the last sound he heard from me as he was walking out the door. I is for Impotent which is what I told everyone he was. I is also for the inbreeding that occured in his podunk family. J is for jugular, the one I'd love to sever. K is for Key, the one that made the lovely designs on his truck. K is also for Kick in the balls which is what I'm gonna give him if I see him again. L is for Love in most cases, but exceptions have been made, L is for LOSER in this case, along with LUSH (he drank an awful lot). M is for MAN. Has anyone been able to find one? Have you ever met one? Do you know where any are? N is for the narcotics. He drove me past alcohol. O is for the orgasm he thought he made me have. P is for PAYBACKS. Remember they are HELL! Q is for queer. I sometimes wonder if he is. R is for the hopeless romantic he said he was. He was half right. He was hopeless, not to mention worthless. R is also for the ring that he can't afford and will never buy. S is for the sugar they found in his gas tank. S is also for satisfied, which he rarely made me feel. T is for typical. Typical little boy playing at being a man. U is for umbilical cord which was never severed when his mother gave birth. U is also for the ugly girl he is dating now. V is for the voodoo doll I made of him. Pins are inserted of course. W is for wife, the one he said he didn't have. X is what he is to me now!!!! Y is for why the hell did I ever get involved with him. Z is for the zoloft that I had to start taking. . is for period, which is a good excuse that comes in handy once a month.