Disclaimer:  The usual.  The Star Trek universe and all it’s characters belong
                                        to Paramount and Gene Roddenberry.
 

                        Note: As this is intended to be a rewrite of the episode This Side of Paradise
                                 there are parts of this story that are taken directly from the aired episode.  I
                                 assume the readers will know those parts when they see them, if not I suggest
                                 you see the episode to understand this story better.<G>  For the sake of
                                 brevity, I am starting this story where the changes begin...everything before
                                 this, or anything taking place between these scenes, occurs exactly as aired.
 

Prologue:

Spock followed Leila Kalomi across another field, struggling to control his
ever growing irritation at the Terran botanist.  She was supposed to be
showing him how the colonists of Omicron Ceti III had survived exposure
from the deadly Berthold rays on this planet for the past three years.  Instead
they have simply been walking around for the past thirty minutes, and he was
beginning to conclude that this was yet another one of the illogical games Ms.
Kalomi had been trying to play since his arrival earlier today.  At the end of
his patience, Spock stopped walking, set on not cooperating any more until
she decided to provide him with the answers he sought.

She looked back and saw the determined look on Spock’s face.  “It’s not
much further.”

“You have not yet explained the nature of this thing,” Spock reminded her,
maintaining his position.

“It’s basic properties and elements are not important.  What is important is it
gives life, peace, love....”

Spock looked down to again conceal his annoyance as he approached her to
conclude this discussion.  “What you are describing was once known in
vernacular as a ‘happiness pill’.  And you, as a scientist, should know that is
not possible.”

“Come,” she grabbed his arm to pull him along after her, not noticing
Spock’s offended look at yet another unwanted physical contact.  “I was one
of the first to find them, the spores.”

Spock was only half listening to what she said, as she had said nothing of
interest to him all day, but finally that drew his attention.  “Spores?” he asked
looking at the plants she had gestured to.  Suddenly he was struck in the face
by cloud of pollen that had sprayed out of one of the plants.  He attempted to
clear the debris from his eyes until he was suddenly struck by a blinding pain
in his head.  He instinctively began to insert his controls to eliminate the pain,
but instead of relieving the physical pain he found it was spreading down
throughout his entire body.  Worse than that, he felt as though the very core
of his control was being ripped from him.  “No,” He dropped his tricorder as
he grabbed his head to fight the invasion, but the struggle was too much.  He
dropped to his knees in agony.  “No, no....”

“It shouldn’t hurt.”

“No, I can’t, please don’t...” He could feel the last of his control being ripped
from him.

“Not like this, it didn’t hurt us.”

“I am not like you.” Spock explained as he fought the waves of torment and
wondered way she made no attempt to call for help on his communicator.

Suddenly it was gone, all of his pain, but all of his control as well.  He stared
ahead, awestruck at the feelings and sensations that flooded his mind and
body.  He was elated, he was feeling everything, all at once, and he didn’t
know what emotion was what.

Leila smiled with satisfaction.  “Now, now you belong to all of us, and we
belong to you.  There’s no need to hide your inner face any longer.  We
understand.”

Still feeling overwhelmed and confused he grabbed her hand in his.  Their
physical contact easily allowed him to feel her love and desire, unshielded by
his impaired state.  Was this what he felt also?  “I love you.”  He considered
his words, that didn’t seem quite right, somehow.  “I can love you.”  He
leaned forward to press his lips to hers, experimentally.  It was indeed
pleasant, and now he could do so without guilt or self-reprisal.  He deepened
the kiss, eager to run this experiment to it’s conclusion.

------------------------------

Later that day, at the ship’s beam down site:

“Sulu, how is the transfer of the ship’s crew coming along?”

“Oh, just fine, Spock.  No problems here.”  He handed Spock a PADD
displaying their progress so far.

“Excellent,” Spock smiled sincerely, not once considering his action.  He
looked over at the crew milling around the beam down site, talking and
laughing amongst themselves, many in pairs, as they slowly spread out to
explore their new home.  Spock was pleased, certain that they would be as
satisfied with their new home as he was.  A patch of blue and blonde caught
his attention, and his smile disappeared as he recognized Nurse Christine
Chapel as she walked away from the area, alone.  ‘Why isn’t she with
anyone?’ he wondered, then heard a voice in his head reply, ‘She is with
someone.  You.  You were just too stupid to admit it before.’  He felt his
heart rate increase, in fact, it felt as though the muscle itself was swelling in
size, and his skin felt flushed as again he was overcome by an emotion, this
one he was sure of.  Before he was even aware that he was moving, he had
thrust the PADD back at Sulu as he ran to catch up with her.  He wasn’t
letting her get away from him this time.  “Christine!” he shouted, and smiled
broadly when she gave him that one smile he knew she reserved only for him.

“Spock!” She watched him intently, pleased by how relaxed his features
were.

He approached and realized that without even touching her he could feel love
and acceptance radiating from her essence.  It had always been there, and yet
he never felt it like this, had never permitted it.  It gave him much comfort
and peace, like coming home.  How much he missed by hiding behind his
Vulcan control all his life!  He reached out to grab her hands, eager to share
his thoughts and feelings as well.  Odd that what he was feeling now was so
different than anything he had felt so far...stronger, more urgent, more
defined.  This is love!  He was breathless, not from his physical exertion but
merely from being around her.  “I’m so glad you joined us.”  He pressed his
lips to hers, briefly, to gauge her reaction.

She startled at first, but then quickly wrapped her arms around his neck and
deepened the kiss, making sure he didn’t pull away.  She had no need to
worry though, for he returned her embrace and battled his tongue against hers
in an effort to seek her inner sweetness.  After a long moment, they pulled
apart.  It took Spock a moment to regain his composure enough to talk, as he
was blown away by the depth of the passion they created.

He thought briefly of Leila, and what they had shared that afternoon.  Now
he realized that he had acted too soon, he had been too dazed by the sudden
onslaught of emotion, and he had desperately sought to give her what she had
wanted from him.  But Christine had never wanted anything from him, just
wanted him, as he was. He regretted that he would have to hurt Leila, but
surely she would understand, after all, he had her to thank for showing him
how to embrace his feelings, and never deny himself happiness.

“I’ve been looking for you for a long time,” he said, staring into her eyes.

“I just got here.”

“No.”  He brushed some hair back away from her eyes and held her face
between his hands.  “No, you’ve been here all along, it is I who just finally
arrived.”

She smiled and kiss him gently upon the lips.  “How about you show me
around this place?”

Laughing, he smiled suggestively.  “I have plenty I want to show you just
now, Christine.  We have more than enough time to see the rest of the colony,
for now let’s go to the compound where we can be alone.  We’ve never been
alone.”  He pulled her tightly against him.

A slight blush crept over her face.  “I’d love to, Spock.”  She glanced up into
his eyes demurely.

He laughed again and kissed her deeply, picking her up as he did so.  Now,
he finally felt complete.

----------------------------

Spock sat at the dining table, Christine in his lap, as they discussed the
crew’s relocation to the colony with Elias Sandoval, the colony leader.
“Almost the entire ship’s compliment has beamed down,” Spock stated as he
accepted a cup of tea from Elias.

“I am very pleased.  The entire landing operation is proceeding quite well,”
Sandoval lifted his glass slightly in a silent toast with the couple as he took a
drink.

Suddenly Kirk breezed into the room, drawing everyone’s attention.
“Where’s...McCoy?”  He stopped suddenly and his eyes widened at the sight
of Spock and Christine together.

“He went off to create something called a Mint Julep.  That’s a drink, Jim,”
Spock added helpfully.

Kirk stared at his First Officer in disbelief.  He started to speak, but couldn’t
find the right words to express his thoughts, fortunately, he was saved from
responding by Sandoval’s next question.

“Captain, why don’t you join us?”

“In your own private paradise?” Kirk spat out distastefully.

“The spores have made it that.”

Kirk turned his attention back to Spock.  “Where did they originate?”

“It is impossible to say.”  Spock leaned back as he settled in to explain.
“They traveled through space until they finally landed here.  You see, they
actually thrive on Berthold rays.  The plants act as a repository for thousands
of microscopic spores until they find a human body to inhabit.”

“In return they give you complete health and peace of mind,” Christine
chimed in.

“That’s...paradise?”  Kirk questioned.

Sandoval tried again to persuade him.  “We have no need or want, Captain.”

“It’s a true Eden, Jim.  There’s belonging,” He looked at Christine and gently
cupped her cheek in his hand.  “and love.”  She leaned her forehead against
his and they were momentarily lost in each other.

“No wants...no needs.  We weren’t meant for that.  None of us.”  Kirk’s
voice rose in anger and he began to pace to dispel the excess energy.  “Man
stagnates if he has no ambition, no desire to be more than he is.”

“We have what we need,” Elias explained.

“Except a challenge!”  Kirk retorted.

Spock shook his head ruefully.  “You don’t understand, Jim.  But you’ll
come around,  sooner or later.  Join us, please.”

“I’m going back to the ship.” Kirk declared then stalked out of the room.

There was a silence as the three remaining people considered what had
transpired.  Christine sighed then hugged Spock comfortingly.  “Well, you
tried.  That’s all you can do.  He needs to find the truth for himself.”

Spock nodded.  “Yes, I know.  Come, let’s take a walk.  I feel a need for
fresh air just now.”  They excused themselves and left Elias to his own
thoughts.

--------------------------------------

Leila hurried across the compound searching for Spock.  She had been
delayed at a meeting to reconfigure the colonies crop resources to provide for
the Enterprise crew, and now she wasn’t sure where he’d taken off to.  She
checked the beam down site, where he said he would be, and the sleeping
and headquarters buildings, but he wasn’t there either.

She had just climbed to the top of a nearby hill, where she would have a view
of much of the area around her, when she spotted Spock on the other side
lying beneath the shade of a tree, with another woman.  They were lying side
by side, her on her back, him propped up on his elbows, talking to her.  Leila
ran a hand over her hair, making herself as presentable as possible, before
going down to meet their new friend.  She had only taken a few steps in their
direction when she saw the woman raise her head to look directly at Spock.
She said something to him, which caused both of them to laugh, then Spock
rolled over to partially cover her body with his.  He kissed her on the mouth,
and she wrapped her arms around his neck, returning the kiss, then he moved
down to plant many tiny kisses along her neck and collar bone.

‘No!’ her mind screamed.  ‘He’s mine!  I made him into what he is now, how
dare she take him from me!’  Enraged, Leila began running down the hill,
determined to make this woman pay for taking what belonged to her, but in
her rage she stumbled over the uneven ground and fell to her knees.  She
stayed there for a moment, collecting herself, when she realized tears were
streaming down her face.  Her anger had turned into grief, for what she
briefly had, but now lost.  Slowly the tears dried as her mind began to clear
from the effects of the spores.  ‘Oh God, what have we done?’  She watched
as Spock looked tenderly into the eyes of the woman he held in his arms.
‘What have I done?’  Overcome with shame, Leila got to her feet and ran
back the way she had come, unable to face the man she had loved for over
six years.

Meanwhile, Spock and Christine lay together, oblivious to what had almost
occurred a few moments before.  A communicator beeped, and they both
instinctively reached for the devices at their waists, but it was Spock’s that
had sounded.  “Spock here,” he said lazily into the receiver.

“Spock, it’s Jim,” said the disembodied voice, “I’ve joined you.”

Spock smiled at Christine, “That’s wonderful, Jim.  When are you beaming
down?”

“There’s a few things I want to grab from my quarters, but I’ll be down in
say...ten minutes?”

“Terrific, Christine and I will meet you at the beam down point.” He flipped
the communicator closed, then kissed Christine briefly upon the lips.  “I
knew he’d come around.”  He got to his feet, then helped her up before
walking hand in hand to meet his friend.

---------------------------

“...then there was another time, I was fifteen Standard years old, and Sarek
allowed me to attend a meeting with him, his aides and several Earth
politicians as they worked out a new trade proposal.  My mother was
entertaining all the wives at a luncheon she held on the patio right outside
Sarek’s conference room.  He had the window open, for the Humans’
comfort and occasionally we would hear snatches of the womens’
conversation.  Then suddenly, and we never did learn what caused this
particular comment, we hear my mother’s voice clearly say, ‘For your
information, I didn’t marry the Ambassador for his money, I married him for
sex.’  She must have been quite displeased, she usually is when she prefaces
a comment with ‘For your information...’”

Christine grabbed her sides from laughing so hard.  “What did your father
say?”

Spock shrugged.  “There’s wasn’t much he could say.  Naturally everyone
stopped talking in the room, quite surprised to hear such a thing, then Soran,
my father’s chief advisor, got up and quietly shut the window.  Everyone
pretended not to have heard her, but it was obvious we all did.”

Christine wiped some tears from her eyes, “Oh, that poor man.”

Spock looked at her doubtfully.  “I wouldn’t bother wasting time feeling
sorry for my father.  I suspect he was secretly pleased with her comments,
even as public as they were.  I think I may have even seen a rather satisfied
smile cross his lips for a brief second.”  His communicator beeped again,
“Spock here,” he answered.

“It’s Jim.”

“Jim!  What’s keeping you?  We’ve been waiting for you.”  He saw Christine
was listening with him.

Kirk thought of an excuse that would get the Vulcan to come back aboard
ship.  “Well, I just realized there is some equipment on board we could use
down at the settlement.  I need some help bringing it down.  As you know,
once the last of us is down there, we can’t come back.”

“Do you want me to beam up a party?”

“No, I think you and I can handle it.  Why don’t you beam up now” he tried
not to sound too hopeful.

Spock looked to Christine, “Do you want to come up?  It should only take a
few minutes.”

“No, you go ahead and I’ll stay here,” she placed her palm against his cheek
and looked into his eyes, “eagerly awaiting your return.”

Spock kissed her, pleased by her selflessness, then walked away beam up.
“Ready to beam up, Jim.”  He dissolved with a mass of colored sparkles.

-----------------------------------

Christine pulled another clump of grass out of the ground, then carelessly
threw it back, blade by blade.  She sighed as she looked longingly at the sky.
She’d been sitting here waiting for Spock and the Captain to beam down for
well over an hour, and she was getting impatient.  Wanting to quench her
curiosity, she pulled out her communicator and called the ship.

“This is Enterprise, Spock here.”

Just the sound of his voice made her smile.  “It’s Christine, Spock.  I was
wondering what was taking so long.  I’ve been waiting.”

There was a long pause before Spock’s voice came through again.  “There
has been some delay, I apologize.  It won’t be much longer.”

Christine bit her bottom lip thoughtfully. “Maybe I should come up to give
you guys a hand?”

“That is not necessary...” he paused thoughtfully, “perhaps that would be
best.  Stand by, I will beam you up shortly.”

Pleased, Christine closed her communicator and took her position.  A few
minutes later she felt the familiar tingle of the transporter beam carrying her
to the Enterprise.  When she materialized on ship, she saw Spock waiting for
her beside the transporter controls.  She ran and threw her arms around his
neck. “I missed you.”

She pulled back, puzzled, when he did not respond.  “What’s wrong?”  She
watched him, saw him attempt to respond several times, but being unable to,
and realization struck.  “They’re gone, aren’t they?  The spores?”

“Yes,” he said, sounding almost apologetic.

Christine nodded thoughtfully, then smiled brightly.  “Well, that’s ok.  You
can get it back.  We’ll just go back to the colony, to the plants.”

Spock shook his head, “No, Christine.”

“Yes, we can.”  She was crying now, becoming distraught.  “It’ll be ok.
Everything will be like it was, you’ll see.”  She attempted to take his arm, but
he grabbed her hand in his.

“No,” he said firmly.

“Why?” she demanded, anger flashed in her eyes and she pulled her hand out
of his.

Spock met her anger directly, locking his eyes to hers, as he tried to get
through to her.  “I have a responsibility to this ship, to that man on the
bridge...” Christine spun away from him, trying to deny his words.  “...as do
you.”  He saw her stiffen, then her shoulders slumped defeatedly and he
could hear her crying.  He closed his own eyes to ward off the effects her
pain had on him.

After a moment, Christine took a deep breath and turned back to face him.
“It’s gone, all of it.”

Spock nodded..  “The Captain discovered that strong  emotions destroy the
spore influence.”

She looked away to compose herself some more then looked up into his eyes.
“None of it was real, was it?”

“It *did* happen, whether that cause was real or not, we made our choices
for a reason.”  He saw a wayward tear slip slowly down her cheek, and
reached out to gently wipe it away.

Christine closed her eyes, reveling in what she knew would be the last touch
she would receive from him.  “And those reasons are irrelevant now?”

“Irrelevant, no,” He tilted her chin up so she looked at him again, “but I am
what I am, Christine, and if there are self-made purgatories, then we *all*
have to live in them.”  He looked at her meaningfully, “Ours can be no worse
than someone else’s.”  He smiled at her, hoping to soften his words.

She smiled regretfully, “I suppose.”  Taking a deep breath, Christine mentally
shook herself.  “Well, Mr. Spock, since there are only three of us on board,
there should certainly be plenty to do.  I should see what shape sickbay was
left in.”

 “A logical suggestion, Nurse.”  He gestured for her to head out the door and
he fell in step beside her.  “I suspect it will be quite busy in the next few
hours.”

--------------------------------

Spock stood next to the Captain’s chair, filling out a report regarding the
transfer of the colonists to Star Base 27, when Doctor McCoy came on the
bridge and took his place on the other side of Kirk’s chair.

“Well, Jim, I just examined the last of the colonists, and they’re all in
absolute perfect, perfect health.”  He looked directly at the Captain, “a fringe
benefit left over from the spores.”

“Good,” Kirk murmured.

McCoy watched the planet shrink in size as they left orbit.  “Well, that’s the
second time man’s been thrown out of paradise.”

“No, no, Bones, this time we walked out on our own.” Kirk watched the
viewscreen thoughtfully.  “Maybe we weren’t meant for paradise.  Maybe we
were meant to fight our way through, struggle, crawl our way up, scratch for
every inch of the way.  Maybe we can’t stroll to the music of the lute.  We
must march to the sound of drums.”

“Poetry, Captain,” Spock intruded on his contemplations, “non-regulation.”

Jim looked at Spock critically.  “We haven’t heard much from you about
Omicron Ceti III, Mr. Spock.”

Spock looked down, considering his experiences on the colony planet.  “I
have little to say about it, Captain,” he looked up into the eyes of his friends,”
except that for the first time in my life...I was happy.”

THE END.