You Know Your Child is in The SCA When:

You Might Be A Stickjock If:

You Might Be Married To A Stickjock If:
 

Thanks to Mark Harris and others.

you overhear the 10-year-old at the next picnic table quoting Macbeth... accurately.

everyone at your graduation wants to know where you learned to bow.

bad heraldry and/or costuming has ruined an otherwise decent movie for you.

a truely bad anachronism has ruined an otherwise good romance novel for you.

you yell "Huzzah" at mundane events instead of cheering "normally".

you consider wearing 3 different tartans at once to be high fashion.

after a party you ask yourself "Hm. Now where are my clothes?" and you're stone sober and fully dressed.

Someone asks you where you got your chainmail hauberk, and you reply, "In 200 foot rolls at Home Depot."

you're a burly guy who looks like a Hell's Angel, but you do embroidery in public.

at a formal dinner party, you politely grab your sleeve to keep it from dropping in the food, only to realize you're wearing a suit.

you can eat equally well with a dagger or a fork.

you've decorated a cake in celtic knotwork.

you return to work after a weekend event, only to find you left all your money in your belt pouch.

you're watching what's been billed as the most romantic scene in any movie ever, and all you can think is: What kind of armor is he wearing?

you can and do curse in Gaelic, but you aren't Irish.

your garb closet is bigger than your clothes closet, and the clothes are in better condition.

you watch the old replay of the Crowning of the English Queen Elisabeth II and you recognize people's ranks by the Coronets they are wearing.

while watching the crowning of Queen Elisabeth II, you tell your lady, "We could use that at Our Coronation".

you visit a period castle, notice the draperies and bedspreads, and think of what lovely clothing they would make.

you visit a period castle, museum, historical site, etc. and you can spot the mistakes in the tour guide's lecture.

you're male, and your girlfriend, not you, is the bored one being dragged from fabric/clothing store to fabric/clothing store.

the lady at the fabric store asks your girlfriend if she needs help and she points at you saying, "He's the one looking for material".

you get a Christmas card in the mail and you look at the shepherds and background figures with a magnifying glass to see the costuming details.

your kid gets a cardboard punch out castle and you point out the flaws in the architecture, and based on your assessment, figure out how you and your household could hypothetically capture it if it was a real castle.

your kid gets a bunch of plastic knights, and you swipe them to outline your tactical ideas for the next war/fighter practice with your friends.

you watch Henry V over, and over, and over, again - for the costumes/fighting scenes.

your immediate family consists of only two rather small, thin people, but you justify your purchase of a full-sized van/pickup truck saying "We'll need the extra space for events!"

your reaction when you see some sort of handicraft is "I can make that" or "I can buy that from Mistress Seamchecker for half that!"

you're annoyed because the armor at the art museum isn't displayed so that you can get a good photograph of the back.

you're in Europe, you pass up famous sites to see tiny little places that might have related to your persona.

you make a new recipe, and you take out the potatoes, tomatoes and peppers, because they're Out Of Period for Europe.

you choose your language courses in college based on what your persona would have spoken. ("Man! I'm really bummed out that they aren't teaching Manx Gaelic this semester!")

your reference section on your field of interest is better than the equivalent section in the local library.

you slip and begin a letter "Good Milord..."

you slip and address a coworker as Milord or Milady.

you slip and date a letter "The Tuesday before Michealmass, A.S. XXXIV"

you're annoyed because your new printer didn't come with Luxhaeiul miniscule or Batarde as standard fonts.

your idea of a sack lunch is mince-meat pie, cold mulled cider and wafers left over from the feast the week-end before.

you start to wear your hair the way your persona might have worn his/hers. ("Look Smith, it's not so much the waist length beard, but do you really have to braid it?")

you sign a check using calligraphy.

you name your pets after obscure historical figures.

people assume that you're an exchange student/recent immigrant because they hear people calling you by the most outlandish names.

you have to remind yourself not to call that tourist in the golf pants "Sir" just because he's wearing a white belt.

you see a college diploma and on a friend's wall and the first thing you ask is "Who did the calligraphy?"

you read a book that involves the plague and can diagnose which of the two or three types of plague it is from the symptoms.

you go to endorse your paycheck at the local ATM, and the only pen you have is a dip style pen for calligraphy... and you have the ink!

you receive telephone calls at work for your SCA name... and your co-workers know who it's for!

someone calls your company and asks, "Could I speak with the King please?" and the operator says, "Just a minute and I'll connect you to his Majesty".

you take a college course in medieval history, and find out you already own the textbooks.

you cry "Lay On!" when serving at tennis.

while hunting for a travel route you spend a half-hour hunting for "Ben Dunfirth" in your atlas, and then realize it's Atlanta.

you describe your company's logo to the printer's shop using heraldic terms.

instead of having dreams about being out in public with no clothes on, you have dreams about being at an event in mundane clothing.

you catch yourself thinking "'Gules, three chevrons or'. Nice tabard. Classic Anglo-Norman style, easily visible. Oh! I guess it'd better be visible, he's a road repair worker!"

your bank will cash checks for your persona.

you have a credit card in the name of your persona.

you go running up the stairs at work and reach down to hold the hem of your underdress up so as not to trip over it... and realize you're wearing a pantsuit.

you dress your decorative lawn elves in period garb matching your own.

your friend's idea of camping involves a backpack and your's involves a U-Haul.

you can cook an egg on a rock, but not toast in a toaster.

you can make a loaf of bread faster than you can program a bread machine.

you make all your own bread and you don't own a bread pan.

your adventurous non-SCA friends wangle invitations for Sunday supper so they can sample the feast leftovers.

you get investigated by Children's Protective Services for "cross-dressing" your little boy; and you call your Baroness to get you out of it... and it works.

your family is Russian, but you speak only English and Gaelic.

your 8-year-old daughter gets a Barbie for birthday, and you immediately start making medieval garb for it.

your wife asks you "Do you want me to buy you some black tights for the wedding we're going to this weekend?" and you say YES.

you and your partner are all ready to set up your new law firm, but after consideration, you both agree "Better if we wait until after Pennsic".

you know which kingdom an event site is in, but not which state.

your friend invites you to a "dress nice" party, and you realize that your best looking clothes are your court garb.

your friend tells you her new boyfriend works in a fabric store and your first thought is "How cool!"

the only time you can see your living room floor is when your van is packed for an event.

you practice birth control from All Saint's Day to Candlemas so that you won't be too pregnant to go to Pennsic.

your bible study is going over the Armor of God... and they ask you to bring examples.

you see a mother tenderly picking a splinter out of her young son's hand - with a shortsword.

you pull out a wax tablet to write down someone's email address at an event.

you buy a bottle of booze just for the really neat little pouch.

you go to a Catholic mass with your in-laws, and spend the whole time admiring the priest's garb.

you have to find something else to wear on Halloween, because your garb just doesn't feel like a costume anymore.

your coworkers seem a little concerned that you're planning a "period" party, and you're male.

"dining room large enough for a dozen scribes and all their equipment" or "yard big enough to hold a fighter practice" appears on the must-have list for your new house.

you go to the hardware store and ask for a drawknife for shaving rattan, only to have them explain that no one makes them anymore.

your "best china" consists of wooden feast gear and drinking horns.

the worst loss of your flooded basement is not the washer or the furnace, but the scrolls you were framing.

you plan your car-trip vacations around events happening in other kingdoms, and even pack accordingly.

you're male, and you see an attractive woman in a skin-tight black velvet dress, and your first thought is "Wow!! What I wouldn't give for ten yards of that!"

you're babysitting and you wonder if they'd give you the drapes as pay.

the gynecologist asks "When is your period?", and you answer "Early 14th century".

you answer your own front door with "Who goes there?".

you go to a funeral and spend your time looking at the great pavilion over the grave site and wonder where they got it.

sharpening your axes and swords is not only an entire evening's work, but an entire evening's entertainment!

you start wearing your tankard and belt pouch around with your mundanes, because it's so darn convenient.

you have given a chainmail hauberk  as a  wedding gift.

your future husband's wedding garb costs more than yours, and has more trim.

"Two helmets, Anglo-Norman style preferred" appears on your wedding registry.

you've called your hotel ahead of time to ask if it's OK to keep swords in your room.

you enter your lady's boudoir for the first time, and the first words to escape your lips are "Nice sewing machine!".

costumed people going into Rocky Horror have asked you about your "funny clothes".

you've ever been cooking and run out of galingale.

you've ever been refused entrance to a bank because of your belt knife.

you're female, and you've walked straight into a door on a Monday morning because you just expected the male co-worker you're entering with to stop and open it for you.

your favorite birthday present was a roll of that really shiny duct tape.

you get duct tape in your Christmas stocking.

your dog knows how to bow to royalty.

instead of one of those "cutesy" sweaters, your dog wears a chainmail hauberk.

you cross a large dining hall at a company banquet, and curtsey/bow to the department head's table.

you unconsciously dip your head to the senior vice president of your company  when you pass her in the hall.

you have to fight the reflex to curtsey/bow to the priest at high mass.

you curtsey/bow as you pass the bridal couple.

you curtsey/bow to the judge at a hearing.

you see a sign that reads "TANNING" and comment to your spouse "I wonder what kinds of skins and hides they have?",

you see a sign that reads "FENCING" and you wonder about their price their foils and epees.

a truck passes you on the highway labeled "MAKERS OF THE FINEST BELTS AND HOSES" and you think they're carrying garb!

you see an ad saying "LEARN HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN BOWS" and are disappointed when you realize they're talking about tying ribbons.

you see a nun in the grocery store wearing the habit for her order and you think "wow, nice garb!".

you hear there's a new movie out called "The War of the Roses" and are disappointed to learn it's about a messy divorce!

you see "FIELDS OF ARMOR" listed as a program on The Discovery Channel, and are <i>very</i> disappointed that its about tanks.

a magazine article titled "FULL ARMOR" piques your interest, but when you start leafing through the magazine,  you're disappointed to discover that it's an article about computer security software.

seeing someone in full plate, a tabard, and Reeboks does not strike you as odd.

you see a large sign saying "COMING SOON: THE VIKING YOUTH ACADEMY", only to be disappointed that it's a daycare center.

you see playground equipment (swings, seesaws, etc) and think "Siege Engines!".

you rush out to see a movie called "CELTIC PRIDE", but storm out ten minutes in when you find out it's about basketball.

you don't see a field of cows, but a field of leather.
 
 

You Know Your Child is in the SCA When:
 

your child is upset because you're going to court today without her, because she doesn't understand the difference between traffic court and SCA court.

your bedtime conversation with your 9-year-old centers around forms of address for royalty when they are a duke, knight, and prince at the same time.

they have to produce a picture to prove to their teacher that they did in fact spend the weekend with the Mongols, whom the teacher insisted were all dead.

they run away from being tagged, calling "That Blow Was Light!"

your toddler has diaper tabs of duct tape, so at least he looks something like daddy.

you have to warn your two-year old not to hit anyone with his sword that ISN'T WEARING ARMOR.

while trick-or-treating, someone asks your son what he is, and he replies: "I'm Guy de Lacy, a pre-tabard 11th century Norman who settled near Cornwall!".

they don't know their right hand from their left hand, but they do know their sword arm from their shield arm.

your five year old daughter, who is watching a video of the Gene Kelly Musical "Brigadoon" (Scottish Wedding scene), looks up and says in a clear, scornful voice "Bad war garb!"

you overhear your three-year old meeting new little friends at the playground and he asks, "What's your name?" then "What's your SCA name?"

your child's "what I did last summer" paper describes how much fun it was to watch their best friend kill a complete stranger.

they're early gradeschoolers, but decorate their work folders with celtic knotwork.

their teacher complains that their handwriting is illegible, and when you examine it, you find it's Norse runes.

your six-year-old chooses to write her first book report on "The Pennsic Wars and Living Medieval".

your daughter can't make the school softball team because she swings the bat like a broadsword.

your 4th grader writes an essay in school about a time when she "felt special" and writes about the time Daddy carried her favor in a tourney and how great it was when he won his first 2 bouts and how disappointed she was
when he got killed in the semi-finals, and the teacher calls you and wants to know if your husband has died.

your child`s pre-school teacher asks your child, who has never been camping except to SCA events, to name one item she would take camping, and she says "A Sword!".

your kids make fun of the "square bread" at the grocery store.

your 16 year old son is taking Home Ec so he can learn to run a feast kitchen... and his friends see what he's making in metal shop and stop hassling him about taking Home Ec.

his 5th grade teacher asks him "what is a Duke" and he quickly answers: "Someone who's been king twice!"

someone asks your 8-year-old daughter what she wants for her birthday, and she replies "Armor, so I can be Queen like Mommy someday!"

your child is asked "What does your daddy do?" and answers "He's the king of Texas and Oklahoma!". Subsequent attempts to convince the principal and teacher that he/she is not lying are also fun.

your child looks around, worried, and whispers "Where's the king?", and you remind her, "Honey, this is church, not an event".

your child asks you to cut his sandwich "per saltire".

your young son gets your attention by kissing your hand.
 

You Might Be a Stickjock If:
 

you buy a TOWN out of rivets.

you can describe the tactics, strategy, weapons, armor and troops used in hundreds of medieval battles, but don't know why they were fought.

you can open a beer bottle with a battleaxe.

you show up for work on Monday with a chain mail weave sunburn.

after you learn that your friend has only one kidney, your second thought relates to fixing his armor.

you get chain mail as a wedding present.

you're a woman, and a man says "Whoa! Nice legs! Hubba hubba!"; and he's talking about your armor.

you mutter "What a waste" every time you see rattan lawn furniture.

you rattle when you walk, because you're wearing a mail shirt under your dress shirt.

street signs look like armor trees, round shields, war shields...

you're bruised black and blue every Monday morning.... and you enjoyed getting that way.

you pick up the trash can lid and automatically snap it up to a defensive position.

you're wearing chainmail to the office under your suit because you need to get used to moving round in it.

you sneer at sword fights in films because any fool can tell they're not
within striking distance of their opponents.

you're in the front row of the company staff photograph and tell your neighbor to "dress the line".

dessert is served in stainless steel dishes, you start speculating on how easy they would be to beat into shield bosses.

you are asked to find a broom handle to work a jack, and can't find one, but come back with a longaxe and a spear.

you can't raise your arms above horizontal on a Monday morning.

you're daft enough to lock the keys in your van, but you managed to pry a window open with your sword.

you see a beautiful woman sitting on a Rattan seat and you realize that you are staring at the chair.

you are cleaning up after an event and all that you can think of is how great this aluminum table edging would be on a shield. And for that matter, drop the legs and put on a handle, it's good light plywood, well reinforced, a little on the large side but maybe for war...

you get your van stuck in a bog, but escape by unloading the shields and driving out over them

after an event, while getting dressed in mundanes, you don your swordbelt and weapons out of habit.

your sweatpants have holes in the knees and rust stains, because you wore your armor over them.

you answer "What are you doing with all that wire?" with "I'm knitting a skirt."

there are leg armor and vambraces baking in your oven. (To make sure the wax really penetrates)

you've ruined your deep fat fryer using it to melt wax.
 
 

You Might be Married to a Stickjock If:
 

your wife announces that she will be cleaning her skirt, then fills a bucket with sand to remove the rust.

you go into the bathroom to shave, and instead of nylons hanging from the shower rod, there's a chainmail habard.

a student greets you in a Monday morning class by asking "So, did your wife kill anyone this weekend?"