Lufthansa -
Passengers on a Lufthansa flight heard
this announcement from the captain:
"Ladies and Gentlemen,
I am sorry to inform you that we
have lost power to all of our engines
and will shortly crash into the ocean"
The passengers were obviously very
worried about this situation but
were somewhat comforted by the
captain's next announcement.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we at
Lufthansa have prepared for such an
emergency and we would now like you
to rearrange your seating so that
all the non-swimmers are on the
left side of the plane and all the
swimmers are on the
right side of the plane"
After this announcement all the passengers
rearranged their seating to
comply with the captain's request.
Two minutes later the captain made a
belly landing in the ocean.
The captain once again made an announcement:
"Ladies and Gentlemen we have
crashed into the ocean.
All of the swimmers on the right side of
the plane,
open your emergency exits and
quickly swim away from the plane.
For all of the non-swimmers on the
left side of plane...
THANK YOU FOR FLYING LUFTHANSA! "
British Airways -
"This is Captain Sinclair speaking.
On behalf of my crew I'd like to
welcome you aboard British Airways
flight 602 from New York to London.
We are currently flying at a height of
35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic."
"If you look out of the windows on
the starboard side of the aircraft,
you will observe that both the
starboard engines are on fire.
If you look out of the windows on the
port side, you will observe that
the port wing has fallen off."
"If you look down towards the Atlantic
ocean,
you will see a little yellow life raft
with three people in it waving at you.
That's me your captain, the co-pilot,
and one of the air stewardesses.
This is a recorded message."
Air France -
There once was a flight heading
from London to New York.
Halfway during the flight,
the captain suddenly comes over
the intercom system...
"This is Captain Jean-Pierre Lalonde
speaking.
I have a bit of bad news for you.
We have lost our first left engine,
but never fear, we can still
make it using only three engines.
But because of the loss of power,
we will be two hours late."
Time goes on, and once again the
PA system crackles to life...
"This is again your Captain.
We have lost an engine on our
starboard wing.
But rest assured that our plane
can fly using only two engines.
Due to the reduced power, we will
now be four hours late."
The flight goes on, when the passengers
hear the now familiar sound of
the address system...
"Guess what, folks!
We lost another engine, but nothing to fear.
We can still make it using only one engine.
But now we will be six hours late. "
On hearing this, an elderly lady turned
to the person sitting next to her, and said:
"I hope we don't lose ANOTHER engine.
I'll be late for my connecting
flight from New York!"
Tail Piece:
Air India -
You never hear any such happenings
overboard an Air India flight.
Does it sound strange?
Yet, it is true,
since:
1.
the public addressing system is the
first to go for a toss and
2.there are no survivors to tell such
tales in each and every case.
(
geocities.com/vummintala)