For all cricket lovers this is a sensational stuff !!!
In a Test between India and the West Indies, the fiery Wes Hall was
sending
quivers down the Indian spine. The new batsman walked slowly to the
crease, not feeling unlike a lamb at the slaughter house.
As the great bowler thundered in, suddenly he stood up in the crease,
and signalled that he wanted the sight screen adjusted. Adjustments
were made and the bowler was ready to come in again.
Once again, in the middle of his run-up, the batsman found something
disturbing in the sight screen. Indeed, this went on a few times before
the irritated umpire walked up to the batsman and enquired, "Where do
you want the sight screen, for God's sake?"
The batsman asked, with an ounce of fear, "Could I have it between
him and me?"
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Classic lines on/off the field
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"Man, it don't matter where you come in to bat, the score is still
zero."
-Viv Richards to Sunil Gavaskar at Madras 1983. Gavaskar had decided
to relinquish his opening position and come in at no 4 for that test.
But Malcolm Marshall fired out Anshuman Gaekwad and Dilip Vengsarkar
for ducks, setting the stage for Gavaskar to walk in at 0/2. And he
thought
there would be less pressure!
BTW, Gavaskar made 236* then; the highest score by an Indian and the
highest score by anyone against the West Indies. Gavaskar has also
scored more centuries against the West Indies than anyone else. The next
highest is also an Indian, pleasantly enough - Dilip Vengsarkar with
six.
Gavaskar made thirteen!
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Greg Thomas was bowling to Viv Richards in a county game. Viv missed a
superb outswinger, and Thomas said "It's red, round and weighs about 5
1/2 ounces."
Next ball Viv hits Greg Thomas out of the ground and replies, "Greg,
you know what it looks like. Go ahead and find it!"
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Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip,
and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word.
At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises
sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred".
The reply is classic Trueman, "Not you son, Your mother should've!"
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Then there's the wicket keeper who quietly asked the new batsman "So
how's your wife, and my kids?"
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New Zealand vs South Africa: Daryll Cullinan was batting, attempting a
comeback from a complete bamboozling from Warne in earlier games.
Cullinan played the first ball from Chris Harris very carefully back
down
the pitch, and keeper Parore yelled out "Well bowled Warnie!"
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Australia fighting for a win nearing the end of a Test Match, Fred
Trueman
at the crease. The Aus captain has plenty of close in fielders, whose
shadows fall on the wicket. Fiery finds this objectionable. 'Ere, if you
lads don't back off, I'll appeal for bad light!"
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The best one
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(incident described in "From the Pavilion End" by Harold "Dickie" Bird)
"Bomber" Wells, a spin bowler and great character, played for
Glocuestershire and Nottinghamshire. He used to bat at No.11 since
one couldn't bat any lower. Of him, they used to paraphrase Compton's
famous words describing an equally inept runner;
"When he shouts 'YES' for a run, it is merely the basis for further
negotiations!"
Incidentally, Compton was no better. John Warr said, of Compton
"He was the only person who would call you for a run and wish you luck
at the same time."
Anyway, when Wells played for Gloucs, he had an equally horrendous
runner as the No.10. During a county match, horror of horrors... both
got injured. *Both* opted for runners when it was their turn to bat.
Bomber played a ball on the off, called for a run, forgot he had a
runner
and ran himself. Ditto at the other end. In the melee, someone decided
that a second run was on. Now we had *all four* running. Due to the
confusion and constant shouts of "YES" "NO", eventually, *all* of them
ran to the same end.
Note - at this point in time, the entire ground is rolling on the floor
laughing their behinds out. One of the fielders - brave lad- stops
laughing for a
minute, picks the ball and throws down the wicket at the other end.
Umpire Alec Skelding looks very seriously at the four and calmly informs
them "One of you buggers is out. I don't know which. *You* decide
and inform the bloody scorers!"
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