> *** How Hot Is It In Hell - A True Story ***
>
> A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his
> graduate students. It had one question: "Is Hell exothermic (gives off
> heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a
> proof."
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
> Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed)
> or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
>
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So,
> we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate
> they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
> gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As
> for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
> religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state
>
> that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
> Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do
> not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people
> and all souls go to Hell.
>
> With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
> souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
> change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
> for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume
> of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two
> possibilities.
>
> #1 If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
> souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
> increase until all Hell breaks loose.
>
> #2 Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
> increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
> until Hell freezes over.
>
> So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese
> Banyan during my Freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in Hell
> before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still
> have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot
> be true, and so we can safely declare that Hell is exothermic.
>
> The student got the only A.
>
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