"In my field of paper flowers..and candy clouds of lullaby..I lie inside myself for hours and watch my purple sky fly over me." Evanescence, "Imaginary".
"I tried to kill the pain but only brought more. I lay dying and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal. I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming. Am I too last to be saved, am I too lost? My Wounds cry for the grave..my soul cries for delivereance." Evanescence, "Tourniquet"
So, you want to know about me? Well, at last...here is your chance. Last Updated 3/04
Name: Melissa
Location: NY, NY. Its a helluva town.
Birthplace: Astoria, Queens. NYC.
Favorite Color: Black and Red
Favorite Holiday: Halloween
Subculture: I am a goth and have been for a decade. Yup, white face, black liner and lipstick, victorian Gothic, baby. All the way.
Relationship Status: Who really knows these days?
Age: 29
Astrological Sign: Pisces
How much of this story is based on fact? Well, I have put a good deal of myself in Erin as far as background, appearance and general attitude. However, Erin remains a mixture of some of myself and my favorite heroins of the silver screen like Vivian Leigh as Scarlett O' Hara and Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra. Although Orlando is a hotpants, the vision of him created for this story is strictly of my own imagination. I am not obsessed, just bored and full of angst.
Friends: Amy is based on a dear friend of mine. Down to the blonde moments and all. John is based on an ex boyfriend, black belt, abusive attitude and all. JD, my male best friend. Mary. Barney who is getting married in the next year. R.Cross who lives in England. RD who is in Connecticut. Rob, my adopted gay brother who should soon be married to the man of his dreams. Seeing a trend yet? Yeah, my friends have filtered to the four corners of the universe. Such is life.
Languages: French. Korean. Japanese. Old English.
Tattoos: One of an Ankh with a dying rose wrapped about it. I love the irony of such an image. A symbol for everlasting life tied about a beautiful, dying flower. Then, there is my kanjii symbol for SIN on my right ankle.
Work: I work as Management for a facility devoted to promoting the independence, Community Inclusion and Individuality of persons with Developmental Disabilities.
Pets: One cat, which I have immortalized in writing. KittyKitty, a black and white long hair cat who is the bane of my existance. I love her, for all her faults. She is affectionately termed: Piss Pot Annie or Old Pissy, due to her Bladder Hostility, all over my stuff.
Organizations: I am a recovering vegitarian. I belong to PETA, GREENPEACE and ASPCA.
Favorite Bands: Danzig, Type O Negative, London After Midnight, Dark Tranquility, Evanescence, Rob Zombie, Manson, Slayer, Misfits, Samhain, Good Ol' Fashioned Headbangers Ball music, 80's Music, Led Zepplin
Favorite Movies: Besides the LOTR trilogy? The Crow, What Dreams May Come, Meet Joe Black, The Mummy, The Breakfast Club (and all John Hughes Movies, I'm stuck in the 80's), Bram Stokers Dracula, Queen of the Damned, Interview with the Vampire, All Johnny Depp movies including Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
Favorite Quotes: "Life is not the Destination. It is the journey and the people you meet along the way", "From Childhoods hour I have not been as others were, I have not Seen as others saw, I could not bring my passions from a common spring."~Poe
Favorite Reads: Tolkien, obviously. Dragonlance. Anne Rice. The Collective Prose and Poems of Edgar Allen Poe. Seeing a trend yet?
Bad Habits: Smoking and Drinking.
Sports: A once upon a time avid tennis player. Ask me the names of the ATP tour pros now? Yeah..no. Martial Artist. Does being a Wench at the NYRenn festival count? Thats about it.
Happiest Memory: Hanging out with Criss Angel on seperate occassions. Not only is he beautiful but he is a talented Illusionist and Musician. I should be on his DVD when its released. Go Me.
Greatest Regret: I refuse to regret. Though, if I had one, it would be for someone who I am no longer with, relationship wise. I loved him more than life itself.
Favorite Actress: I dont really have one. I suppose if I could look like anyone it would be Angie Everheart in Bordello of Blood.
Favorite Actor: Well, obviously, Orlando Bloom is among them. Can I just quote it as the entire Fellowship? Johnny Depp, Tom Cruise, Stuart Townsend, Christopher Walken (if you havent seen the Prophecy, take a look...Viggo is the Devil...go Viggo!) Brad Pitt..yeah, he is pretty. We know. As long as he shuts up and stands in a corner, that is. I loved him in Interview and Fight Club as well as Meet Joe Black.
Where do I draw my Inspiration/How do I write?: I draw my inspiration from Everyday life. I write the same way. I close my eyes, imagine the situation and type. With nails this long, I make a few typos. But, from the feedback I have recieved, people tell me my style is visual..they can actually see what I am creating. That makes me feel wonderful.
Fanfictions, for Fans or for Geeks: Both. We often try to belong..fanfiction is a way to add a bit of yourself where you can not interject, normally.
Parting Thoughts, Melissa's two cents of wisdom: Love like the day is dying, live the same way. Each moment our days are numbering down till there is nothing left. Do not despair, do not reget...time is too short. Burn Candles and sip red wine...tell your friends how much you love them...spend time giving back to the world that gave you so much. Lament for what has gone before you, Remember 9/11/01. Do not take for granted what you have been given, it can just as easily be taken away...Create. Create with all your fury and passion and hope that someone sees the beauty in what you have done. Share openly your thoughts with others. Never forget that as beautiful as a flower may be, its time is numbered so take time to smell it...and let others get a good healthy whiff of you. Leave a mark on the world. Do not suffer needlessly. Its alright to founder for direction sometimes, we all do...its how you get out of that rut that makes you an individual. Its okay to make mistakes, thats why they have erasers on pencils. Express yourself and damn the world who does not wish to hear it. Believe...Believe there is still something of magick and fascination in the world...Never forget to make today the most smashing day you can.There are soo many things we take for granted. Watch the sunrise and sunset...although it all seems infinate, there are only a finite amount of times we can witness such majesty and awe in its beauty. Be a slave to nothing, save your imagination and creativity.Keen of Eye, quick of hand, brave of heart. You cant go wrong.Never underestimate the power of "I love you."Remember the little things that matter to those you love. Nothing is ever trivial.Things dont always turn out the way you expected..but life is about choices and desires. Accept your fate and understand it has a role to play in the world around you.A butterfly flapping its wings in Rio DeJaniro can create a Tidal Wave in Japan. The choices you make do the same on the world around you, so, chose wisely.Life is a game, you have to be in it to win it. Sleep in and eat some chocolate, both are excellent for your health if used the right ways. Adopt a shelter animal, let the lost ones know you care and make sure to give them a funny name. Society is judged not on great feats of architecture, but rather how they care for the sick and elderly. So, hug your grandparents and dont stare when someone with disabilities walks past you. Remember your ancestors...you carry them with you every day in your blood and primal memories. If they never made it, you wouldn't be here. Revere your history. School is like a foundation..you dont want your house built on dirt, do you? Laugh often. Laughter is the best bio medicine for every ailment..people who laugh, never give up. So, dont take yourself too seriously and enjoy a good belly chuckle when you can get it. Right now, youth is king. We wont always be young and beautiful. Practice Tolerance at every corner. That might be you, someday, who is on the alternative rather than the mainstream. Right now, someone is missing you and loving you. Pick up the phone, drop an email, let them know while time is still young. You are made up of star material, start showing it. Revere the Earth...this is OUR home. Treat it with respect. Learn your history. That is how we prevent it from repeating itself. Every difficult time is akin to dancing on the edge of a dagger, slip but a little and you are damn sure to need some Bacitracin. Life...Live it, Love it, Learn it, know it and pass it on to others.It doesnt matter who has the most toys..when it comes down to it, History only records a name and social security number. Be generous, help the unfortunate. Never NEED someone. Want them. That makes all the difference in life and in Pride.
That is it, I am done. I think I have left it all out in the open, such is my nature. I hope you enjoy my fiction. I want to hear your thoughts.
My Special Thank you: Jenn S, Jenn B, Mary, Jason, RC, RDC, Rob B, RRJ, TRR, JM, CW, Shannon, and all those who have supported my writings to date. Without each of you, I would be lost for my path. Remember: "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.” All of my love, to you. My Words to consider: The Cure, Pictures of you. "remembering you fallen into my arms, crying for the death of your heart..you were stone white, so delicate lost in the cold you were always so lost in the dark. Remebering you how you used to be, slow drowned you were angels so much more than everything, oh hold me for the last time then slip away quietly..open my eyes but I never see anything. Looking so long at my pictures of you but I never hold onto your heart. Looking so long for the words to be true but always just breaking apart my pictures of you."