“We're losing control
Will you turn me away or touch me deep inside?
And before this gets old, will it still feel the same?
There's no way this will die
But if we get much closer, I could lose control
And if your heart surrenders, you'll need me to hold”
Pat Benatar, “Love is a Battlefield”
*
Shattered Illusions
December 17 (Sunday Night)
“Viggo, you were absolutely brilliant. Do you have any idea how sexy you were as Aragorn? Dear god have mercy on me!” Amy bit the knuckle of her bent pointer finger to exaggerate her point.
Viggo smiled. “Well, don’t say that too loud or Billy is going to be somewhat put-off. But thank you.” He accepted the compliment in his usual soft spoken manner.
“And I wasn’t sexy? Hmm? Come on, short guys with hairy feet do it better!” Lij laughed, exhaling the smoke from his cigarette as the FOTR Premiere party boomed.
“Um, no. Hobbits don’t really do it for me. But I definitely like your hair better like that than the way you have it now, kinda haphazardly moussed to shit.” Amy laughed.
“Hobbits aren’t your thing, eh? Let me go find Billy…” Lij threatened with a giggle. Amy stopped him cold in his tracks with a deadly look.
“Don’t you dare!” She growled.
“So what is everyone talking about?” Erin and Sean joined the huddle.
“How sexy Viggo is.” Amy gave a blue eyed wink to her best friend.
“Well, shit yeah.” Erin smiled. “Tell me something I don’t already know.”
“Right. Mate, yer hot!” Sean grabbed Viggo into an embrace. “Take me now, hot Numenorian stallion! Who’s yer King now? Eh? Who’s yer king??” Sean laughed heartily as Viggo pushed him off.
“Just for that, I am going to make sure the white city falls!” Viggo laughed, putting a friendly arm around Bean.
“Why doesn’t anyone ever say that about the dwarf, eh? Dwarves can be sex symbols. Sean, don’t touch me, lad.” John Davies smiled, putting a defensive arm upward to prevent Sean from embracing him.
“Now that I have been rejected, Im up for a spot of drink. Erin, what can I get you, love?” Sean winked.
“Another Champagne would be agreeable.” Erin smiled, her eyes falling on Liv. “Holy shit, Liv. You were incredible as Arwen! Absolutely perfect! The Rivendell Elves were always my favorite of the kine. Arwen did not play as big a part in the books, though she was always my favorite as was Haldir and well…” Erin let her voice trail.
“Hell, I would have played any part to get a make out scene with Viggo.” Liv laughed, taking a pull from Lijs’ cigarette, his hand held outward to her lips. “And I think Gimli is cute as shit, just for the record, John.”
“Ha-ha!” John thought about it for a split second. “Cute? Dwarves are fighters, fierce and deadly. Cute is for teddy bears and long blonde haired elves!” He gave an indignant smirk.
“What was that?” Orlando overheard his comment, leaning in toward the increasing huddle. Erin watched him, shivering as his eyes fell on hers. Orlando brought the champagne to his lips. Erin thought she saw him brush his fingertips close enough to scent them, causing her to flush, instantly.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present the next teeny bopper craze. Legolas…I mean, Orli Bloom. I can see the fan clubs starting now, lad.” John smiled, patting him on the shoulder, good naturedly.
“My kill score is about to go up with the addition of one, red headed dwarf.” Orlando raised a brow, laughing, though his eyes never left Erins. “I might add a few hobbits to that. Billy and Dom are bloody well irritating Ian McKellan. He has shaken his fist at them both, twice so far.”
“Lij, gather the fellowship around. Its time to give a creatively inspired toast.” Viggo smiled. “All free hands, come with me for champagne.”
“You have that crazed look in your eyes again, Lad.” John smiled to Viggo. “What are you up to?”
“You will have to wait and see.” Viggo smiled before turning to gather champagne with Liv, Orlando and Amy.
Cate, Hugo, Dom, Billy, Ian, Sean A all joined together with the rest, each holding a fresh glass of Champagne. Viggo handed one to Erin as Amy handed another to John.
“What is all this racket, Estel?” Hugo smiled.
To every ones surprise, Peter Jackson joined the group.
“I had an idea, one which I think we all will enjoy. I would like us each to give a toast…but here is the catch…thanks to Pete…” Viggo tipped his glass, “We have all had to read and reread the books. Pick a poem, any poem or piece of a poem, so long as it is the words of Tolkien…and let that be your toast.”
“Yer are so corny, its unbelievable.” Billy laughed, his arm around Amy.
“Well, in that case, you go first.” Viggo smiled as Billy shuddered.
“Ya cant be serious, lad.” Billy looked around and found all his compatriots accepting to the conditions. “Fine. Fine, then. Let me see…” The Scot cleared his throat. “ahh, yes. Here we go then:
O! Water cold we may pour at need
Down a thirsty throat and be glad indeed;
But better is beer, if we drink we lack,
And water hot poured down the back!” (FOTR, p. 99)
“That was terrible!” Dom pushed Billy. Billy shouldered him back, playfully. “Lets try this:
Out of doubt, out of dark to the days rising
I came singing in the sun, sword unsheathing.
To hopes end I rode and to hearts breaking:
Now for Wrath, now for Ruin and the red nightfall” (ROTK, p 122)
“Better. Better…but everyone stand back.” Lij smiled before continuing.
“I sit beside the fire and think of all that I have seen,
of meadow-flowers and butterflies in summers that have been;
Of yellow leaves and gossamer in autumns that there were,
With morning mist and silver sun and wind upon my hair.
I sit beside the fire and think of how the world will be
When winter comes without a spring that I shall never see.
For still there are so many things that I have never seen:
In every wood in every spring there is a different green.
I sit beside the fire and think of people long ago,
And people who will see a world that I shall never know.
But all the while I sit and think of times there were before.,
I listen for returning feet and voices at my door.” (FOTR p. 272)
“Well hot damn, mate.” Peter smiled as Lij concluded. “I knew making ya all read the books would do better by you.” Cate and Hugo silently whispered amongst themselves.
“Impressive.” John Davies smiled. “Now, let the dwarf tell a toast.:
The World is gray, the mountains old, the fires forge is ashen cold;
No harp is wrung, no hammer falls: the darkness dwells in Durins’ halls;
The shadow lies upon his tomb, in Moria, in Khazad-dum. But still the sunken stars
appear in dark and windless Mirrormere;
There lies his crown in water deep, Till Durin wakes again from sleep.”(FOTR, p 308)
“Now that was something. Leave the dwarf to talk of the Dwarven king.” Orlando shrugged off the hand placed by Jemma upon his shoulder. “Elves have the most beautiful of voices, the most varied of songs. Any who say different will be meeting with Cate and Liv after our toast. And no, I will not sing it for any of you.” Orlando was cut off.
“Now that’s a change, mate. In the books you could not get Legolas to shut up. Every 20 pages or so he was singing some poem about a tree or glenn.” John laughed as Orlando scowled. The fellowship burst out into laughter. “Then again, if you have heard Orli sing, its no wonder he will not bless us now.”
Orlando narrowed his eyes and continued, “Forgive me for disappointing but it is not the hymn to the sea. Ahem.” Orlando lowered his sable gaze, bringing the words from memory.
“An Elven-maid there was of old, a shining star by day:
Her mantle white was hemmed with gold, her shoes of silver gray.
A star was bound upon her brows, a light was on her hair
As sun upon the golden boughs in Lorien the fair.
Her hair was long, her limbs were white and fair she was and free;
And in the wind she went as light as leaf of linden tree.
Beside the falls of Nimrodel by water clear and cool
Her voice as falling silver fell into the shining pool.
Where now she wanders none can tell, in sunlight or in shade;
For lost of yore was Nimrodel and in the mountains strayed.
The Elven ship in haven gray beneath the mountains-lee
Awaited her for many a day beside the roaring sea.
A wind by night in Northern lands arose, and loud it cried,
And drove the ship from Elven strands across the streaming tide.
When dawn came dim the land was lost, the mountains sinking gray
Beyond the heaving waves that tossed their plumes of blinding spray.
Amroth beheld the fading shore now low beyond the swell,
And cursed the faithless ship that bore him far from Nimrodel.
Of old he was an Elven-king, a lord of tree and glen,
When golden were the boughs in spring in fair LothLorien.
From helm to sea they saw him leap, as arrows from the string,
And dive into the water deep, as new upon the wing.
The wind was in his flowing hair, the foam about him shone;
Afar they saw him strong and fair go riding like a swan.
But from the west has come no word and on the hither shore,
No tidings Elven folk have heard of Amroth evermore.”
Orlando opened his eyes, casting a glance to Erin while Ian laughed. “A love poem? How terribly Elvish and sweet. Your lady is undoubtedly blushing with such words.” Ian smiled. Erin was flushed at the power of his poetic, incredibly accented voice while Jemma looked incredibly bored by the reverie. “Jemma, would you care to say a few words?”
“I don’t have to speak, just look beautiful. I will sit this round out.” She grumbled, looking around the party, disinterested, though she kept a narrowed side glance on Erin.
“In that case, Cate and I have a bit of something to share, though not as winded as the young Elf and his romantic story of woe.” Hugo smiled, looking to Cate. In unison, they chanted:
“A! Elbereth Gilthoniel! Silivren penna miriel
o menel aglar elenath
Gilthoniel. A! Elbereth we still remember, we who dwell
In this far land beneath the trees, the starlight on the western seas.”(RoTK p. 336)
“Splendid. Cate, Hugo!!” Sean Bean smiled. “However, I can not be outdone by softie, here. So, let me get my mark with something that is relevant to the stories of the great Tolkien.” He cleared his throat:
“Seek the sword that was broken; in Imladris it dwells;
There will be a counsel taken, stronger than Morgul spells.
There shall e shown a token that doom is near at hand,
For Isildur’s bane shall waken, and the Halfling forth shall stand.”(FOTR, p 240)
“Damn, Sean. That is impressive. Nice Choice on that!” Amy smiled. “Don’t anyone look at me for poetry, I only read the books once because Erin made me. Great story, just too long winded for my taste. Though I think the movie made it much more interesting, so far.” Amy longed for the taste of champagne but waited till the round was completed, Billys arm draped about her.
“Alright, its my turn.” Liv smiled. “Ian, forgive me, these words belong to Gandalf.” Liv turned to him, his nod bidding her to continue:
“Where now are the Dunedain, Elessar, Elessar?
Why do thy kinsfolk wander afar?
Near is the hour when the Lost should come forth,
and the Grey Company ride from the North.
But dark is the path appointed for thee
The Dead watch the road that leads to the sea.”
Liv turned her eyes to Orlando, holding his gaze, commandingly. Orlando watched her, listening intently.
“Legolas Greenleaf long under tree
In joy thou has lived. Beware of the Sea!
If thou hearest the cry of the gull on the shore,
Thy heart shall then rest in the forests no more.”(TTT, p 112)
“I hear the cry of the gull on the shore.” Orlando smiled a secret smile as Liv winked her eye. It was obvious they were both in understanding to a special meaning woven in the tapestry of her words.
Erin looked to the group. “Can I try? I have been listening to you all and I think it jostled my memory?”
The group was emphatic and goading her on. Erin smiled as she closed her eyes, stumbling softly as she found the verse in her mind.
“When winter comes, the winter wild that hill and wood shall slay;
When trees shall fall and starless night devour the sunless day;
When wind is in the deadly East, then in the bitter rain
I’ll look for thee and call to thee; I’ll come to thee again.”
Erin opened her eyes as she heard another voice, soft and warm answering her poem Ent to Entwife. Orlando spoke.
“When winter comes, and singing ends; when darkness falls at last;
when broken is the barren bough, and light and labour past;
I’ll look for thee and wait for thee until we meet again.
Together we will take the road beneath the bitter rain.”
Erin smiled despite herself and continued. Orlando joined her and the both ended the verse, together. There eyes held each other like a lovers embrace, the tension and chemistry was tangible. It seemed for a moment, that no one existed in the room, save them.
“Together we will take the road that leads into the West,
And far away will find a land where both our hearts may rest.”(TTT, p 81)
“Bloody hell, I love the song of the Ents. One of my favorites.” Orlando smiled, poising his glass, unable to take his eyes from Erin. Jemma shook her head, stomping away, angry.
“Ahem. Well done, Erin. Though, I do believe I have waited long enough.” Ian smiled. Without giving another word, the oldest of the group lifted his glass high and began his toast:
“All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring:
Renewed shall be blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be king.”
“Well then, lets drink.” Viggo smiled.
“Not yet, mate. Think you forgot to give a toast.” Pete adjusted his glasses, looking to Viggo.
“Alright then.” Viggo looked around, trying to recall the words of so many of his favorites. “Alright, I’ve got it.. Something from the song of Beren and Luthien:
“O’er stony mountains cold and gray,
through halls of iron and darkling door,
and woods of nightshade morrowless.
The sundering seas between them lay,
and yet at last they met once more
And long ago they passed away in the forest singing sorrowless.”(FOTR, p 188)
“Bravo!” The fellowship echoed, preparing to drink to the toast.
“Ahem.” Peter Jackson breathed, adjusting his glasses. “Before we drink, let me offer my toast, to all of you who have made this vision a reality.”
“Without you, the vision would be nothing more than a dream. For some, this has been a life time goal, one which we will never forget.” Christopher Lee joined the group, seeming to emerge from the darkness itself.
“Raise your glasses high!” Viggo smiled as Peter began.
“Three rings for the Elven kings, under the sky. Seven for the Dwarf-lords, in
their halls of stone. Nine for Mortal men doomed to die. One for the dark lord on
his dark throne, in the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.…”
The entire fellowship, including Amy and Erin found a smile and joined with Peter until their unified voice was loud as the music behind them into the next verse.
“One Ring to rule them all, one ring to find them,
One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them,
In the land of Mordor, where the shadows lie.”(FotR, p. 49)
The fellowship downed the glass of champagne expressing the joy and celebration of the journey each had taken to bring such a labor of love to life. Erin felt Seans arm draped around her, much as Amy and Billy were snuggling quite happily. Both seemed to echo the same thoughts. How lucky are we to be here, sharing in a part of history with the most wonderful people on a most exquisite evening. History has been made and we were among the first to see it.
Erin lifted her glass to her lips, her eyes half slit as the effervescent bubbles tickled her nose. The fellowship chatted in the great circle, though all she could feel was his eyes upon her. Erin slipped out of the grip of Sean, smiling softly as she kissed his cheek. “I really need to go for a smoke, I will be right back, don’t you move!”
Sean smiled, letting her go. “Don’t keep me waiting too long, the fellowship is going to be leaving here for a party of our own, shortly.”
Erin nodded as she slipped away from the masses, beneath the eyes of Amy, who was laughing and snuggling against Billy.
Erin let the cool breeze wash over her. The champagne had gone instantly to her head, as had the events of just a short time ago, with Orlando. The cold chill of winter seemed to slip past her, even with bare shoulders as she watched the world through slightly disoriented eyes. Sparking her cigarette to life, Erin tipped her head back against the building and let the events which had unfolded of recent, course over her. What am I doing? What the hell is wrong with me? I have to get back to my life and put all of this... behind me. My head is spinning and none of this seems real…yet, I want nothing more than for this to be real.
Erin flicked her ash just beyond the reach of the red carpet.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Orlando lit his cigarette as Erin opened her eyes. His face was warmly alight with the glowing fire, cupped within his hand.
“What are you doing out here?” She did not tilt her head up to check the door for on-lookers, as she normally would have done. At this point, Erin did not care.
“I saw you leave, thought I would join you.” He exhaled, watching her intently. “How are you feeling?”
“Euphoric. But then again, I thought you would have realized that.” Her voice was nonchalant. “You wanted something more than to smoke a cigarette, Orlando, otherwise, you would have brought Viggo or Lij with you. What’s going on?”
“I wanted a moment with you, alone. Again.” He smiled that charming smile. “I leave in the morning.”
“You leave with Jemma, in the morning. And at the same time, I return to my life with all of this a memory behind me. Should prove interesting, to say the least. But I don’t want to think about that right now.” Erin exhaled, her eyes on Orlando.
“What do you want to think about, then?” Orlando stepped in before her, placing his hand to her waist.
“You. But I can think about you all I want, Orlando. That doesn’t change anything and it never will. You are more trouble than you are worth, for any woman you meet. You know that, right?” Erin tilted her head upright, looking deeply into his eyes.
“I have been wondering where that fighting spirit I saw the first night had gone. I am glad to see it back, though not as glad to be the focus of it. Mean to tell me, you wont miss me?” He smiled once more, leaning closer till his legs straddled both of hers.
“I think we both know the answer to that, now don’t we.” Erin hesitated. “Jemma is going to be looking for you. Shouldn’t you be heading back?”
“I haven’t finished my cigarette.” Orlando flicked the embers, the cigarette braced between his first and middle finger. He leaned, still closer.
“Let me ask you this, Orlando. Why me? Of all the screaming fans you have and will have…Of all the women out there…why do you insist on following me?” She was serious and tipsy at the same time.
“Because you are real, Erin.” His eyes were intent, his lips calling to her.
“Don’t do this.” Was all Erin could manage.
Orlando held her gaze, his lips falling only a breath from hers. “Despite what you might think, Erin, I am interested in more than the obvious. But every time I am near you, I am under the compulsion to kiss you, to taste you. You are driving me insane and you know it. Every time he pulls you closer, I want that to be me. I am bloody well jealous and I cant seem to put my finger on, why.” His eyes held hers, intimately.
“Then you know how I feel.” She moistened her lips, intoxicated by his presence, more than the champagne. “You were so beautiful up on that silver screen. Every time I watch that movie, I will think of you.”
“And I will wonder what it would have been like to be Sean, pulling you closer and feeling you rest your head on my shoulder.” His words were soft, barely a whisper. Slowly, he leaned forward, parting his lips as his eyes closed.
Erin felt his lips against hers, the sweet velvet feel of him. Her eyes lowered as she tasted his breath, drinking him in as a drowning man devours water. A soft moan emerged from her lips as she felt the familiar brush of his velvet tongue flicking upwards against her own, rolling in sweet bliss into the caverns of her mouth. His hand drew up her spine, brushing the exposed flesh of her back and shoulders, drawing her in against him.
“What do we have here?” Liv chimed, her voice soft and trailing.
Orlando refused to pull away, his head tilted to the side slightly to receive the full taste from her champagne flavored lips.
“I don’t think he hears us, mate.” Billy responded to Liv.
“I don’t think she hears us either.” Amy smiled.
Erin ran her nails up from his shoulder to the back of his neck, trailing into the dark unruly waves of his mahogany mane. His lips were the taste of heaven for the damned.
“Orli? Jemma is not far behind us.” Viggo tried to interrupt.
Orlando drew Erin into his body, his hand at her spine, pressuring her forward.
“Jesus, he wants to get caught, doesn’t he? I will go create a distraction.” Lij jumped in and promptly left the scene.
“Holy shit!” Dom jolted as he stepped out of the hotel. “Sean is going to be pissed when he sees this.”
“Orli, you have to let go. You are both going to get caught.” Viggo braced a hand to Orlandos shoulder.
Orlando slowly released Erin, stepping back, his eyes refusing to open as he savored her. Erin inhaled sharply, her head tilted back against the building once more.
“Fate intervenes once more. Illusions, though grand, are shattered before the light of discovery.” Erin took the last drag of her dying cigarette. Nothing could seem to stir her, anymore. Nothing but his kiss…his closeness…nothing but him and he was departing, never to return.
“Thy heart shall remain in the forests no more.” Liv braced a hand on Orlandos’ shoulder, her words a reference to the poem she had quoted during the previous toast.
“For now, the forests. But not for much longer, mate.” He responded, flicking his cigarette toward the curb. His eyes lingering to the emotionless face and pained eyes of Erin.
“The road to hell is paved with good intentions. The world is a battlefield.” Erin slipped her hand in her best friends, though her eyes could not leave Orlando. “Its been great, Orlando. Take care of yourself.”
Amy looked on with a sad realization to the bittersweet sentiment passing in the aire, in sharp contrast to the excited vibe surrounding them all, post premier. “No, love is a battlefield.” She whispered.
Within a moment Lij was holding the door for Jemma, followed by Sean and Dom. He had an almost apologetic look in his eyes as he regarded the fellowship. Lij surged with relief seeing Orlando and Erin no longer in an embrace. “Well, the gangs all here. Lets party.”
Jemma shot Erin a nasty look as she turned to Orlando. Sean slipped his hand into Erins. “Are you alright, love. You look a bit pale?” His eyes studied her intently.
“Fine, just a bit too much champagne. So where are we going?” She spoke to Sean though her eyes never left the gaze of Orlando. Jemma narrowed her eyes unable to break her fiances’ seeming fascination with Erin.
“If you look at him any harder, I swear there will be bloodshed.” Jemma growled.
“Studio 54. I recommended it. Though not as grand as it was in the 70’s, it could be fun.” Viggo tried to lighten the rising tension.
“If you don’t back off with that attitude of yours, you are going to regret those words.” Erin stated coldly to Jemma. Though Martial Arts had taught her discipline and self control, her patience was wearing thin. If you only knew what your man was doing here a moment ago, you might not be so fucking snotty, bitch. But then again, if it were my man, I think I would have come to blows already. Erin found herself dangerously close to letting the guarded secret of the fellowship slip past her defenses. Don’t do this, Erin. She loves him. He is engaged to her. She has every right to be suspicious. She has every right to defend what is hers and there is nothing you can do about it.
Orlando turned, walking away from Jemma and toward the limo. Jemma glared at the fellowship, sensing something secret and mischievous going on amongst them, before following Orlando.
“Something going on I should know about?” Sean turned to Erin.
“I think you have a pretty good idea, Sean. I think Jemma does too. But lets not worry about that, lets have fun before the night ends and all of us say our good-byes. I have to be back to work Tuesday which means, I have to leave here, tonight to face the bullshit at home.” Erin felt Sean draw her closer in his embrace.
“You could crash in my room tonight, if you like. I have the extra space.” Lij piped in, joining hands with Erin, a sad smile on his face.
“Better yet, crash with me.” Liv smiled. “I will arrange to have a limo take you back in the morning, might even join you for the ride since I don’t have to catch an international flight tomorrow, unlike some.”
“Lets see how drunk I get by tonight and we can figure everything else out, as it goes. But thank you both, in advance, just incase I am too gone to say it later.” Erin rested her head on Seans shoulder as everyone assembled, making way to the limos, embarking for Studio 54.