By V. Berba Velasco Jr., Ph.D.
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The community dance social—it’s not for the faint of heart. The prospect of
dancing with a complete stranger can be daunting, even for experienced dancers.
Of course, if you’re a relative newbie, that makes the whole experience even
more stressful.
To make the evening more pleasant for everyone, it helps to remember a few
pointers on social dance etiquette. Whether you’re a swing dancer or a salsa
aficionado, these simple tips can help everybody have a better time.
Pay attention to hygiene
First, make sure that you shower thoroughly before the event and wear
deodorant. This may seem obvious, but it’s worth emphasizing. Dancers can
really work up a sweat, and nobody wants to dance with a smelly partner. You
might also want to bring a spare shirt along, especially during warm weather.
On a related note, make sure that your breath isn’t offensive either. Social
dancing often requires close contact, and a bad case of halitosis can turn off
even the most gracious partner.
Say “Yes”!
Avoid saying "no" when someone asks you to dance. Why? Because it’s considerate
and polite to accept. Remember, it takes a measure of courage to ask for a
dance, and when somebody crosses the floor to approach you, that person is
making himself or herself vulnerable for a moment. Remember, nobody likes
rejection—not even the most experienced of dancers.
Of course, there are times when you would be perfectly justified to decline.
When the person is overly grabby, for example. Or when he or she smells like a
tuna cannery. Or when that person dances in a way that puts you at physical
risk. Or when you’re simply too tired to dance. By and large though, if
somebody asks you to dance, you should say yes.
What if the other dancer is awkward and unpleasant to dance with? Or what if you
simply don’t care for that person’s style? Opinions vary on this matter, but in
my judgment, it’s best to say yes anyway. After all, it’s only for the course
of a song. A few minutes won’t kill you, and it’s better to err on the side of
being gracious.
If you do say “No”…
If you do turn somebody down, it’s best to sit out the entire song, even if
somebody else asks you to dance. At a social dance event, few things are more
hurtful than seeing somebody accept a dance offer right after that person has
turned you down. Most people would take that personally—and frankly, I don’t
blame them.
Of course, one should be especially sensitive to the feelings of beginning
dancers or those who aren’t particularly skilled. Even if that person is
normally well-adjusted and self-assured this type of affront can do
considerable damage to their dancing confidence.
So there you have it. A few simple reminders, but they can make the entire
experience more pleasant for everybody on the dance floor.
About the Author:
V. B. Velasco Jr is a senior multidisciplinary engineer at a small biotech firm that provides ELISPOT readers, cryopreserved PBMCs and serum-free media.