The Carolinian Trail Archive

The Carolinian Trail began on July 28, 1997. Upon deciding recently to resume my online journal, I planned to withhold the 65 entries written prior to January 1, 2000, most of them before February 1998. I made this choice because many of those early entries reflected bitterness and rage with which I no longer identify. The purpose of this document is not self-therapy, vindication or pursuit of any political agenda.

On reconsideration, I have decided to include excerpts for several reasons:

• There is no question I was a victim of homophobia (some of it my own) and spiritual abuse. I have also suffered from severe and chronic depression which went undiagnosed for many years. These conditions harmed not only me but also my children. I owe my story to the world, to help lift the veil of ignorance and paranoia. Perhaps someday, with greater distance from those events, I will be able to give a more thorough and thoughtful treatment.
• It is always irresponsible to revise history.
• My current writings can't be fully appreciated without the context of my past. The recording of this journal was an essential early element of my exploration of mysticism.
• There are some entries which I consider beautiful and valuable.

Excluded is material which I consider unjust, hostile or not constructive. Wherever necessary, I have removed personal identification to protect the innocent and guilty.

Other informative excerpts on the history of this journal may be found under the archive from January 1999.

All written material and images are ©1997-2001 Van Waffle. This page updated Feb. 11, 2001.