Dear Diary,

I'm trying really hard to be brave, but I'm so scared. At the same time, there are all these conflicting emotions running around my head. I don't want to die. Is it really my time? I find that so hard to accept. I want to grow old, get married have a normal life. Have a family.

I want to tell Quinn how I feel about him.

If I really even knew exactly how I was feeling that is.

The pain in his eyes when the sliding equipment blew. It broke my heart. Our dinner. Our dancing. And the way his lips made my heart sing when they touched mine. I still can't quite believe it happened. That we kissed. I would be confused about what happened between us tonight on any night, but especially tonight...when I can't even think.

I was frustrated at first when the Professor interrupted us (I think we were both were)...but his atom bomb is after all, our only hope to survive. I only hope it will work.

I miss my family. Kelly, Mom, Dad...I am so sorry. I am so sorry that I was in such a rush to run out and explore the universe. So sorry that I didn't think about the consequences. I hope you guys to know how much I love you. How much I have always loved you.

Haven't had a chance to talk to Quinn since the Professor snapped him up. I'm just waiting, waiting, waiting for the inevitable. I wish Remmie was here. I hope he comes back. I'm worried that I'll never see him again.

So scared. I put on a brave face for Quinn, but deep down I am terrified. What I told him wasn't a lie. I do feel connected to all the other Wade's out there. And I am trying hard to accept my fate, should it be to end here. We do go on. I believe that. So if I die tonight, my soul will still be out there. I know that deep in my heart. It's just hard. And I don't want to cry about it.

I refuse to spend my last hours moping about should have beens. I won't. No matter what happens. If it's my time to go, at least I will have known the love of my friends. And that is more than many people ever have.

Love,

Wade