"I really appreciate this, Scott."
"Hey, it's no problem, Sly. I'm happy to lend my expertise," Scott said as he sanded a piece of pine.
"Well, I'm glad it's carpentry instead of legal help," Sly gently joked.
"You're going to want to put a nail right there," Scott said, pointing. Sly picked up his hammer and gently pounded the nail into the wood. He made sure to keep it straight.
"You know, I made Serena a cradle just like this one when we settled in Canada," Scott said softly. "Sometimes it doesn't seem like all that long ago."
"Yes it does," Sly sighed. "That was a horrible year."
Scott grimaced as he thought of all of the upheaval that Sly went through that year. He had to deal with his father's absence and revolving girlfriends. Then Bill was killed so violently near the end of the year. "And me leaving so suddenly didn't help things any," Scott said, finishing his thought.
Sly looked at Scott quizzically. "Someone was after you and Serena. You had to protect her. I understood that."
"Sure. But it couldn't have helped, that's all," Scott said, eyes downcast.
"I missed you, but I knew you had your reasons." Sly bit his lip thoughtfully for a second. "How did you do it, Scott?"
Scott looked up. "Do what?"
"Raise Serena all by yourself like that. How did you know how to be her dad?"
Scott's demeanor softened at the question. "I'm still not sure, Sly. You kind of learn as you go." He observed Sly's pensive silence. "You're wondering what kind of father you'll be, huh?"
"Yeah," Sly whispered. "Because I never thought I'd be one."
"You didn't want children?" Scott asked as he continued to sand the wood.
"I didn't want to subject children to me," Sly said slowly.
Scott put down the wood. "What do you mean?"
Sly closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It always hurt to tell someone this story, even with all the time that had passed. "I didn't have the greatest role models growing up. My parents loved me in their own way, but they weren't the best examples to follow, you know?" Scott nodded as Sly continued. "I mean, how can I be a good father if I barely even knew my own?" Sly tried to remain as composed as possible, but his voice gave him away. "And I never told you about the time I went to live with my grandfather in Oregon."
Scott felt himself tense up involuntarily. He wasn't sure he was going to like what Sly said next. "Nancy's father?" he questioned.
Sly nodded. "Yeah. To make a long story short, I moved out there when I was having problems with Jenny and Paul. I thought it would be the solution to my problems, but it was only the beginning." Just say something, Sly thought as he fell silent. You're scaring him. "I quickly discovered that my grandfather's way of saying 'I love you' was with a punch to the jaw."
Scott sat in shocked silence for a moment, and then a great fear filled his heart. He swallowed the anger he felt rise from his chest as he spoke. "How long?"
Sly was thrown by the question. "What?"
"How long did it go on?" Scott tried to say as evenly as he could.
"What does it matter?" Sly asked.
"It's important that I know so I can start gathering evidence against this bastard," Scott said angrily, his mind already running over every aspect of the legal system he thought could help in bringing Sly justice.
"Don't bother," Sly said bitterly. "He's already dead."
Scott ran a hand through his short spiky hair and sighed. "Is that a good or bad thing?"
"I don't know. I was lying in the gutter when he drank himself to death," Sly said slowly.
Scott was concerned by the lack of emotion in Sly's voice. "How can you be so calm about this?"
Sly closed his eyes for a moment. "I can't afford not to be, Scott. I can't let myself feel anything about it anymore, or I'm going to fall apart."
"I seriously doubt that, Sly. Why didn't you tell me about this sooner?" Scott asked, his voice reflecting his concern.
Sly stared at the ground and made a small circle in the sawdust with his right foot. "You know, Jenny asked me the same question when she finally found out. I still don't have an answer." Sly focused his eyes on a paint can, unwilling to look into Scott's eyes. "I can tell everyone wants to know why I let it go on for as long as it did. It's just, it's just impossible to explain to anyone unless they've been in that situation. I can't even make any sense out of it. I guess I just didn't want to give up on him. I didn't want to judge him or his actions. I wanted things to be different, that's all." Sly finally looked up to see Scott's reaction.
Scott's eyes were shining with tears that he wouldn't let fall. He was a proud man, and he was unwilling to lose control of his feelings. Still, his heart ached for Sly. "Different from the relationship you had with your father, you mean?"
Sly nodded. "I regret a lot of the things I once said to my father, and how I judged him unfairly. So I thought if I just went along with my grandfather, if I just accepted his 'punishments', then maybe I would learn something. Maybe I wouldn't ruin another relationship in my family." He sighed. "It didn't work. He would beat me, and I would just feel worse and worse about myself. Instead of trying to understand me, he just manipulated me. The day I finally understood that is the day that he tried to kill me. I was never a fast learner with that kind of thing."
Scott gently took Sly by the arm. "Listen to me, Sly. This was not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong."
Sly pulled away from Scott. "Everyone keeps saying that, but it's not true. There's obviously got to be something wrong with me if I mistook pain for love. It's something I have learned my whole life. I got the same message from my grandfather, my mother, and my father: If you love someone enough, then you'll hurt them, and it's accepted. It's normal." Sly wrapped his arms around himself. "But it's not right, Scott. That's not love. It's something so twisted that it terrifies me. I'm so afraid," Sly said as he closed his eyes.
Scott knew Sly's pain. "Afraid that you'll end up just like them."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Emily sighed as she read the same passage in her history text for the fifth time. She just couldn't concentrate. She rolled over on the couch heavily and sighed. She looked down to her abdomen. She was just beginning to show.
Emily knew how important it was to continue her education, so she informed the school of her pregnancy. Surprisingly, they were very accommodating. They told her about a program that was specifically designed for teenage mothers. It was a separate school that allowed them to learn at their own pace. She studied for the completion of her diploma, but the she also took parenting classes, and learned about how to keep herself healthy during her pregnancy, among other things. It actually wasn't so bad. It helped to be with other girls in the same situation. It was tough to leave Port Charles High, though. She had to tell her classmates and friends the truth. She was sure that there were rumors swirling all over the place.
She thought of the tenuous peace that was currently settled over her life. Nobody really said too much, so no one had to think about what was happening. Her parents were as supportive as they could be, but she could tell the situation was taking its toll on them. Sometimes she heard Monica crying behind her bedroom door when she thought no one was around. Emily hated that she was causing her family so much pain.
Emily sighed as she put her book on the coffee table and sat up. She and Sly had an appointment for an ultrasound. Emily hoped that it might make a difference in Sly's demeanor. He had been wonderful the past few months, attentive to her needs and his upcoming responsibility. However, she could tell he was not one hundred percent involved. It was like he was holding something back. It was unspoken, but Emily could feel it. So far she hadn't said anything, hoping that some more time might ease the situation. Maybe actually seeing their baby would make a connection.
She rubbed a hand across her midsection and smiled slightly. "You'll be making your motion picture debut today," she said softly.
"Talking to the baby already?" Edward said as he entered the room.
Emily smiled. "Yes. I've heard it's good for the baby so it gets to know their parents' voices."
Edward sat in one of the wing chairs by the couch. "Well, it's probably good that it at least gets to know yours. I doubt that boyfriend of yours does much talking at all."
Emily's eyes narrowed. "Sly is a reserved person. But why do I get the feeling that you meant something more with that comment?"
Edward sighed. "We've been avoiding the subject for too long. Somebody has to get you to see the truth."
"What truth?" Emily felt her defenses rise.
"I'm sorry dear, but it's obvious that this boy isn't interested in being a father. I'm afraid you're setting yourself up for a fall if you think any differently."
"What makes you think that?" Emily said defensively.
"Think about it, dear. He's never around here. He hasn't made any motion to get a real job to support you and the baby."
"He's a musician, Grandfather."
"And see how far that got Ned. It's an unreliable business, far too risky a proposition."
"I haven't seen you offering him a job at ELQ," Emily said pointedly.
"Well, we haven't owned a cannery in several years, but I'm sure I could find him some other type of factory work if he wanted it."
"Why not a management position?"
Edward snorted. "Without a college education? Emily, this boy isn't in school. It's clear that he isn't interested in bettering himself."
Emily sighed. "Not everyone has to go to college."
"In today's job market, it's essential! We haven't even discussed his biggest omission."
"And what's that, Grandfather?"
"He hasn't even made a move to make an honest woman out of you."
Emily stared at Edward. "What?"
"Any young man worth his salt should have already done the honorable thing and asked him to marry you," Edward said definitively.
Emily felt the anger rise in her heart. "Grandfather, this isn't the same as when you grew up. Times have changed. A couple doesn't have to be married to raise a child."
"Emily, I want you to look past your blind devotion to this boy and really think. What kind of life would this baby have with parents who can't even live together? Is that really what you want?"
"I'd rather my baby had two parents that got along than two that were rushed into a marriage that neither of them is ready for. I'm going to turn eighteen in a few weeks. That's a little young to be married."
"I'm not saying it's ideal, but I honestly think it's the best possible solution. That way the baby would have both of its parents living together, and it would be legitimate."
Emily's brown eyes darkened. "Is that all you care about? The precious Quartermaine image would be intact? Would it be too scandalous if your teenage granddaughter had a baby out of wedlock? I think it's already been proven that we could handle that one. After all, how many illegitimate children do you have?" Emily stalked out of the room without another word.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Sly looked at Scott curiously. "You sound like you know what you're talking about."
Scott sat down heavily. "I do. I want to tell you about my parents."
Sly also sat down. "Lee and Gail?"
"Yes, they're my parents, but I want to talk about my biological parents."
Sly listened with interest. While Scott was generous with his time and advice, he rarely opened up about his past. If he was sharing, Sly knew it had to be because he had something important to say.
"My mother's name is Meg Bentley." Scott smiled softly. "She was a great mother and I loved her very much. She married Lee when I was just a kid, and things were good. But she had some problems, mentally. Eventually she got so bad we had to hospitalize her. Well, she got out, but she really wasn't cured, you know?" Sly nodded as Scott continued. "She also had really bad high blood pressure, and one time after this crazed argument with Lee, she had a stroke and died." Scott closed his blue eyes briefly, then continued.
"After she died, Lee raised me, because he had adopted me. My biological father, Lloyd Bentley, had died a long time before that." Scott flexed his left hand, observing the pale circle on his finger from where he used to wear his wedding band. "And Lee was really the only father I ever knew, and he was terrific, even if I gave him a hard time about it. I'm not sure how much I really appreciated it until a few years ago."
Scott sighed. "To keep a really long story short, Lucy and I went into business manufacturing dresses. This man, DV Bordisso, wanted to buy us out, but we refused, naturally. Well, it turns out this guy didn't care about fashion design. He was an old adversary of Lloyd's, and he claimed that he and Meg were in love, and Lloyd 'stole' her from him. He wanted revenge on me for being his son." Scott laughed bitterly. "Oh, and he tried his best. The guy was a madman; the head of some sort of international crime ring that specialized in mind control."
Scott rubbed his hand along the small brown folding chair he was sitting on. "Eventually, he tried to frame me for his own attempted murder. That's how crazy this guy was. He had himself shot!" Scott squinted thoughtfully for a moment. "Am I losing you?" he asked.
Sly shook his head. "No, I think I'm following."
"Good." Scott sighed. "I was lured to the scene of the shooting, and I cut myself accidentally. Well, the cops decided that I was the prime suspect, and they tested all the blood at the crime scene. It seemed like Bordisso had set it up perfectly. I was going to pay for being my father's son." Scott took a deep breath.
"He didn't know how right he was. The police ran DNA tests on all of the blood at the crime scene, his and mine." Scott shut his eyes angrily. "He's my biological father."
Sly didn't know what to say to that. "What happened to him?" he asked slowly.
"He fell into a coma. He's in some permanent care facility in Florida. But the point is I thought that because he was my biological father, I was poisoned. I thought I was a time bomb waiting to go off at any moment. I was afraid that I'd end up just like him."
Sly nodded, the purpose of his story sinking in.
"But I realized that biology doesn't matter. You're not destined to repeat your parents' mistakes. You are your own person, and you control your own fate."
Sly appreciated what Scott had to say, but he wasn't entirely convinced. "But Scott, abuse is something that's really easy to pass down. I don't ever want to hurt my child," Sly said shakily, revealing one of his biggest fears.
Scott looked Sly straight in the eyes. "Then break the cycle! You know in your heart that you could never do anything like that, Sly. You know the pain that you went through, and you'll remind yourself of that if you ever feel yourself starting to fall back into the old patterns of your childhood. You are a good person."
Sly felt something come loose inside, like a dam of emotion had suddenly burst. He impulsively launched himself into Scott's arms.
Scott was surprised for a second, but he gently hugged Sly. He thought of the origins of their friendship. Perhaps he befriended him out of guilt over the things he did during the custody case, or maybe it was the longing he felt about the son he and Lucy had lost. It really didn't matter anymore. He held the young man as he shook. At that moment, it was as if Sly was his own, and that was enough.
*-*-*-*-*-*
"Lucky, I really must comment on the remarkable progress you've been making in the past few weeks."
Lucky smiled at Kevin. "Everything seems clearer in the light of the truth."
Kevin nodded. "Well, regaining some memories of what happened to you is a tremendous help. I think we're really beginning to confront some of your biggest issues."
Lucky sighed. "We're getting there."
"You're beginning to realize how this mind control system works. But I wonder if there isn't something that triggers these flashbacks, these 'outbursts' if you will," Kevin said as he looked over his notes.
"I don't know," Lucky said honestly. "If there is one, then I've forgotten."
"I'd like to do some word association with you Lucky. Just say the first thing that comes to mind."
Lucky shifted in his chair. "Ok."
Kevin wrote down the first word, then said it out loud. "Family."
"The most important thing in life," Lucky said almost automatically. "Or at least it should be."
"Honesty."
"Paramount. Honesty is essential to any good relationship."
"Lies."
Lucky's eyes clouded. "Poison."
Kevin noted Lucky's reaction to the word, but so far, nothing seemed to be triggering him. He continued. "Sex."
Lucky was silent for a few moments. Then he spoke slowly. "It should be the ultimate expression of love between two people, but it can be easily twisted and perverted."
Kevin was intrigued. "So you have some strong feelings about making love."
Lucky snapped his head up and gripped the arms of the overstuffed chair. He stared angrily at Kevin. "Of course I have strong feelings about rape."
Kevin was concerned. "No Lucky, I said making love."
"Rape! What are you doing? Why are you asking me about this? We've been over and over it."
Kevin suddenly made the connection. "Lucky, is it acceptable for a man to make love to his wife?"
Lucky jumped out of his chair and moved away from Kevin. "No!" he screamed. "A man has no right to rape a woman, even if they are married." Lucky looked at Kevin with rage filled eyes. "Would you stop this Kevin? You're trying to play some sort of trick on me, but it's not going to work."
Kevin wrote something down on his notepad, then ripped off the paper and handed it to Lucky. "Lucky, what does this say?"
Lucky read the paper. "It says 'making love.'"
Kevin nodded. "Exactly. That is what I have been saying to you this whole time. But every time you've heard it, your mind replaces it with the word 'rape.'"
Lucky shook his head. "Come on, Kevin, I know what you said."
"I don't think so Lucky. I want you to carefully look at my mouth as I say each word." Lucky looked at him skeptically. "Just trust me. Can you do that?"
Lucky nodded. "Fine."
Kevin stood directly in front of Lucky. "Repeat what I say." Kevin said each word slowly and distinctly. "Sex."
"Sex."
"Rape."
Lucky sighed. "Rape."
Kevin nodded. "Making love."
Lucky blinked his eyes a few times. "Say it again," he said.
"Making love." Kevin could see the realization setting in for Lucky.
"I heard you say the word 'rape', but your lips, they didn't match." Lucky ran a shaking hand through his hair.
"Exactly! You've been programmed to take those words, in whatever form, and replace them with rape."
Lucky paced the room as the news sunk in. "Why would they want to do that to me? What good would it do Faison and Helena?"
Kevin shook his head. "There could be a lot of reasons, most of them unknown to us now. Don't try to get into their heads, Lucky. For now, we'll work on deprogramming you."
"Do you really think you can do anything?" Lucky asked, still dazed by the revelation.
"No, Lucky, I won't be doing anything," Kevin said firmly. "It's all up to you."
*-*-*-*-*-*
Sly and Emily drove over to General Hospital a few hours later in silence. Emily could tell there was something on Sly's mind, but she didn't push.
As Sly drove the familiar streets of Port Charles, his mind brought back a memory of the last real conversation he had with his father before he died. He thought back to that night in his father's bedroom.
**Author's note: This is a piece of an actual GH scene from 1993**
"How do you think people learn how to be parents?" Bill asked Sly.
"Well, don't you just know?" Sly replied.
Bill sighed. "No. No, the first way you learn is how your parents treated you. That's one way you learn, that's the first way, and if they had any idea what the hell they were doing, then you probably have some pretty good stuff to draw from, some instinctive stuff." He paused. "And then another way you learn is you try to give your kids what your parents didn't give you. And then another way you learn is if you live long enough, you try to pass on whatever it is you've found out about life. Are you with me?"
Sly nodded. "I think so."
"Sly?"
Emily's voice brought Sly back to reality. "Yeah?"
"You missed the entrance to the parking lot," Emily said quietly.
Sly sighed. "Oops. Sorry." He did a three-point turn on the street, then pulled into the parking lot. He managed to find a space that was pretty close to the entrance to the lobby. He shut off the truck.
Emily carefully unbuckled her seatbelt as Sly got out of the truck. He came around the other side to help her down. "Are you ready to get your first glimpse at our baby?"
Sly smiled slightly. "Ready," he whispered, hoping it was true.