Summoning his courage, Sly quietly entered the room. He hung back by the door at first and watched the band practice. The guys were engrossed in their respective instruments. Chuck played a funky bass line, his tongue sticking out slightly, lost in the notes. Cris searched through his keyboard's memory for a particular sound, testing by playing a few notes with each setting. Keith mentally played a complicated drum solo, banging his sticks against the air instead of the actual drums. Jon leaned down closely to his pedal steel guitar, carefully listening to each string's tuning.
Sly smiled when he saw the familiar organized chaos. Hadn't it been like this for years? They had all been younger, the instruments older and more temperamental, and the locales ever-changing, but they were always together. One unit, a team, a band of brothers. They remained together through endless rehearsal sessions, low paying gigs that provided little exposure, and even through some internal tensions that threatened their very existence. However, they somehow managed to survive.
Finally, Jon looked up and saw Sly. "If it isn't our fearless leader!" he called out.
"Hey," Sly said, walking up to everyone.
Sly was welcomed with various greetings from everyone in the band. "How do you like our new digs?" Cris asked, moving from behind his keyboard and around the room. He extended his arm like a game show hostess. "It has all the amenities, like this lovely window, for instance."
Sly walked over and looked out the window. "Charming view of the brick wall."
Cris was unabashed. "Or how about the spacious architecture?"
Sly nodded. "Cozy, but I like it."
Jon walked around and wrapped his arm around Sly, but made sure that he was well within Sly's sightline while he did it, so as not to surprise him. "We're so glad you're back, Sly. Maybe we can finally get something going again."
Sly squirmed away from Jon's grasp. "Yeah, maybe you can."
Jon looked at Sly with a puzzled expression. Something was definitely up with Sly. It was the first time he had wanted to hold a rehearsal in months, but now he seemed skittish.
"Did you write any new songs in the meantime?" Chuck asked, putting down his bass.
"Yeah, I did," Sly said casually, wandering over to the assorted amp racks, suddenly fascinated with the various knobs and dials.
"Anything you want to work up?" Cris asked hopefully. The other members had been working on a few new things, but Sly was the major contributor of new material for the band. His songs were usually very good, and everyone always looked forward to polishing them.
Sly looked up and shrugged, crinkling his eyes a bit. "I'm not sure," he said, and his heart was heavy when he saw Cris' disappointed look. Here I am, letting everyone down again, he thought. "I mean, I would love to, but…"
"Look, just sit in. It'll all come back to you," Chuck said, pointing to a stool.
Sly was tempted to sit down and do just that, to ignore the real reason why he came. "I really want to, but I'm just not sure it would be a good idea."
"Ok, that's it." Jon sighed in frustration. "Sly, stop talking in circles. What's going on?"
Sly shook his head and laughed silently. "You always know when something's up, Jon." He turned around and faced the crew. "So I guess my motives for calling this rehearsal today are becoming clear."
Keith just silently looked down at his drum kit, following Sly's lead.
"I guess that this isn't the beginnings of our big comeback tour, is it?" Cris asked regretfully.
"It could be," Sly said, and he pushed a stray piece of his hair out of his eyes.
Jon pushed his glasses up his nose a bit and stared straight at Sly. "Will you just say what ever it is you have to say?"
Sly took a moment to gather his thoughts, and then just blurted it out. "I'm quitting the band."
*-*-*-*-*-*
"Thank you for lunch, everyone." Emily dabbed at her mouth with a burgundy linen napkin, then placed it on the table.
"You're very welcome, dear. It's always so nice to have you home." Monica touched the edges of Jude's soft blanket. "And seeing our grandson is a definite bonus."
"Well, some of us would also like to see Jude, but his grandparents are hogging him." Edward tried his best to look cross.
"Can you blame us?" Alan said, ignoring his father to focus on the baby.
Emily shook her head at the familiar squabbling. Living on her own had given her some distance from the power struggles, even the tiny ones, like who got a chance to hold Jude the longest. She chuckled under her breath.
A buzzing sound filled the room. Alan and Monica both looked to their wildly vibrating pagers on the table. Alan picked up both of them. "Monica, we better get to the hospital as soon as we can."
Monica nodded her assent. She rose to hand the small bundle to Emily. "I'm sorry to cut this short, honey."
Emily accepted her son. "I understand. Thank you again for the visit."
"We'll call you tomorrow," Alan said as he kissed her on top of the head. He and Monica both rushed out of the dining room.
Edward smiled broadly. "Now I get the two of you all to myself!"
Reginald approached from the doorway. "Sir, I'm afraid I have some bad news."
"What now?" Edward shot daggers at Reginald.
Reginald kept his distance. "Ned has requested your presence at ELQ. Something about a strike at the computer warehouse."
"Oh, dear Lord." Edward rose from his seat. "You'll have to excuse me, Emily. Of all the days this has to happen." He walked over to her.
"I understand, Grandfather. Don't worry, we'll visit again." Emily kissed him on the cheek.
"Oh, that's a given." He reached down and touched Jude's cheek. "I'll see you later, young man." He smiled at Emily and then dashed away.
Emily looked down at Jude. "I guess it's time to get going."
"Do you have time for one more annoying family member?"
Emily looked up and shook her head. "You're never annoying, AJ."
AJ laughed. "I'm glad you think so." He came and sat down next to Emily in one of the high-backed chairs around the dining room table. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "It's so nice to see you again, Em."
"Sorry I'm not around more often. I miss all of you."
"Well, I moved out myself, but I stopped by to see Grandmother. I didn't expect to see you here." His eyes focused on Jude. "Hey there, big guy. How are you doing? Are you keeping your mom up all night?"
"Most of the time. He's a little night owl like his daddy." She looked up into AJ's transfixed eyes, and she had an idea. "Why don't you let Uncle AJ hold you for a while?"
He smiled warmly at her thoughtfulness. "Thanks, Em."
Emily deposited Jude into AJ's arms. AJ held him gingerly. "It's really nice to see you again, Jude. You're growing up too fast already."
"Don't I know it. He's not so little anymore." Emily observed her brother as he held her son. He seemed absolutely mesmerized by the infant. "Look, he's so relaxed in your arms. He likes you."
AJ beamed. "It feels so good to hold him. I never got the chance to do this with Michael."
Emily frowned. "Yeah. I'm so sorry about that."
"Me too." He looked up to his sister with sad eyes. "I have
a lot of regrets in my life, Emily, but I will never regret helping to create
Michael. I only wish that I could have some sort of role in his life."
"You can, AJ. Go to Carly and try to work it out."
"I don't think we can, Emily. Too much time and bitterness between us." AJ shook his head. "The best I can hope for is one weekend a month. Meanwhile, Michael probably is calling Sonny 'dad.'"
Emily ran her hands over the rough burgundy fabric of the chair. "AJ, you're Michael's father. Nothing anyone can do will ever change that. But if you and Carly can't even speak to each other, then nothing is ever going to be different." She caught her brother's gaze. "I've been talking to Carly, sort of. She's changed. She's not the same person she used to be, the person who kept Michael from you. I don't know, maybe she's kind of mellowed with time and maturity."
AJ cocked his eyebrow. "Carly and mellow don't fit in the same sentence."
"I would give it another chance, AJ. Please consider just talking to her," Emily said, brushing a piece of hair back behind her ear.
Jude let out a wail and startled AJ. "Strong lungs," he said, handing him back over to Emily.
Emily held her son close to her chest. "Yeah, he's going to be a rock star someday." As she rubbed Jude's back, she looked up to AJ. "Are you going to think about what I said?"
AJ looked forlornly at his nephew. "Emily, you promise me that you're going to hold onto Jude. Don't miss a second." He tried to smile. "Never let go." He patted Emily on the shoulder. "I'll see you later."
Emily sighed as she watched his retreating form. The more things changed, the more they stayed the same.
*-*-*-*-*-*
The members of Wildfire stared at Sly, but somehow, they didn't look as shocked as he thought they would be.
"You finally said it," Jon said, crossing his arms.
"Yeah, I guess I did," Sly said. He was surprised by those words, the ones he thought he would never say.
Chuck shook his head. "I didn't want to believe this day would come, but here it is."
Cris sat down dejectedly. "This is it. It's the end of Wildfire."
Sly turned around to face Cris. "That's not true," he said firmly, looking his friend in the eyes. "If you'll just let me explain, I think things will look a lot better."
Jon crossed in front of Sly. He stood defensively, but his eyes betrayed his hurt. "Say what you have to say."
As all eyes focused on him, Sly took a seat in the front of the room, visible to all. He sighed as he sat down on the stool and leaned his elbows on his thighs. He folded his hands underneath his chin for a moment as he collected his thoughts. "I won't deny I was thinking about this for a long time. Ever since I found out I was going to be a father, I tried to come up with ways that I could stay in the band and raise my child." Sly grimaced. "But I couldn't find any. I just can't see myself being gone for so long and being a part of my child's life, or my wife's. My father wasn't around a lot when I was growing up, and I don't want to do that to Jude." He wiped his palms on his jeans. "Don't think this isn't killing me," he added softly.
No one spoke for a moment, each man lost in his own thoughts. Finally, Chuck said something. "I can understand that, man. You do what you gotta do."
Sly looked up and smiled at Chuck, relieved that someone was responding positively.
Cris and Keith nodded their understanding as well, but didn't say anything outright. Jon was the only one who hadn't reacted. Sly turned to his friend. "Jon, please, say something."
Jon rubbed his forehead for a moment as he collected his thoughts. He walked to face Sly. "Look, I get that you can't leave Jude and Emily behind. My problem is why you kept us at arm's length for so long. Didn't we mean more to you than that?"
"Of course you do…" Sly began.
Jon cut him off. "Then you would have respected us enough to tell us the truth a long time ago, instead of just jerking us around," he said, his eyes shining.
"I didn't do that deliberately. I just got wrapped up in my life, crazy as it is. Some things just kind of slipped away." Sly frowned.
"Yeah, like us. I thought we really had something here, Sly, something good. But you've decided to throw it all away, our friendship, our music." Jon walked to the window, his back to Sly.
"This isn't coming out right," Sly said, squeezing his left fist. "I'll admit it. I was selfish when I pushed you away. All of you," he said, looking at the rest of the group. "I dreaded this day, so I put it off. I didn't want to see what I see in your eyes right now- betrayal." Sly walked over to Jon. "I should have been straight with you about my future with the group a lot sooner. I should have told you the truth so you could have gone on, not wait idly by while I waffled." He put his hand on Jon's shoulder. "I'm sorry."
Jon turned to face Sly. "That's what I needed to hear." He bit his lip. "I didn't want to hear it, but I needed to."
Sly relaxed a bit as he realized his friends did not hate him, as he thought they would. "Look, this doesn't have to be the end of Wildfire."
"How can you say that?" Cris asked. "We won't have a lead singer, or your songs."
"Yeah, but you don't need me. Find a replacement," Sly insisted.
"What if we don't want to replace you?" Chuck asked. "What if we can't?"
Sly walked over to Chuck. "Well, then you can regroup. Switch roles, change up the style. I don't want my leaving to send you all in four separate directions. You should stay together. You know there's no one better out there in Port Charles, and I would wager, in all of upstate New York."
"Easier said than done," Jon said, leaning against the window frame.
Sly walked back. "See, I'm thinking it could be pretty painless. You've already got a new lead singer." He looked intently to Jon.
"Me?" Jon reared back. "I'm not the type."
"You're wrong, my friend," Sly said with a shake of his head for emphasis. "I know that you'd be great at it. You did a wonderful job at my wedding. Plus, you've always been the real leader of this band. You were the one who reined in the rest of us, kept us on track and on schedule, both musically and professionally. You booked the majority of the gigs, you got us recording time when we needed it, and hell, you could even deal with my mood swings," Sly grinned. "Don't tell me you've never thought about this."
"Well, I'm not going to deny it, but…" Jon said uncertainly.
"I think this is a great idea," Chuck said, walking over to Jon and clapping him firmly on the back, sending him forward a bit.
"Well, this way, we would just have to find a new steel guitarist," Cris said, plunking out a few notes on his keyboard.
"I just don't know," Jon said, looking at his band mates with questioning eyes.
"You don't have to make a decision right now. I'm just presenting an option. Feel free to take it or leave it." Sly felt a kind of relief at finally making his decision, but it was mixed with regret.
"I still can't believe that you're leaving," Cris sighed.
"Yeah, me neither," Sly whispered, as he tried to remember that it was all meant to be, all for the best.
"I'm going to miss you," the normally quiet Keith added.
"Hey, man, me too," Sly said, touched by the emotion he felt in the room. "But my leaving doesn't mean that we're going to stop being friends. I'm still going to be there for you guys, just not in the way I used to be."
An awkward silence followed as everyone pondered what the future might hold. Only time would tell if that held true.
Jon picked up a guitar and plucked out a few notes. "Hey, Sly, how about one last song? You know, one for the road?"
Sly laughed. "Well, that I can agree to."
As the band assembled for one last time, Sly felt something slipping away. He had to let the band go. New priorities had taken over his life, but it wasn't all bad. What will be, will be, he thought, as a sweet melody filled the room, and he stepped up to the microphone to sing.
*-*-*-*-*-*
A bright, smiling caricature of the sun hung crookedly from the back door, and Sly reached up to fix it. He inserted the familiar gold key into the hole, and it jammed as it always did. He banged up against the door to force it ajar.
As soon as he walked in, a small blonde creature immediately attached itself to his legs. "Sly!" His voice was muffled, absorbed in blue corduroy.
Sly laughed as he put down his bag on the counter and reached down to ruffle his cousin's hair. "Junior! I've been thinking about you," he smiled, crouching to his level.
"When are you coming home?" Junior asked, his small hands tugging Sly's arm.
Sly made sure to keep eye contact as he spoke. "We talked about this, Junior. I live in a new house with Emily and the baby, remember?"
Junior thought for a moment then nodded. "Ok. I miss you."
Sly gave his cousin a hug. "I miss you too, munchkin." He hoped Jude would turn out like Junior, so full of life, honest and pure. "Will you tell your mom I'm here?"
Junior grinned, and then yelled, "Mom, Sly is here!"
Sly shook his head. "Not in my ear," he playfully admonished.
A few moments later, Jenny appeared in the kitchen doorway. "Hello there, Sly."
Sly stood across the room, hiding one arm behind his back. "Hi."
"Let's go play with my dump trucks," Junior insisted, once again pulling at Sly's clothes.
Jenny walked over to address her son. "Maybe later, honey. I have to talk to Sly now. Why don't you go in your room and play, and as soon as we're finished, I'll send Sly."
Junior sighed, but said nothing, and galloped out of the room.
Sly motioned to the bag on the counter. "I brought back your dish. Thanks for the food." He rubbed the back of his neck with his left hand, running it across the short, bristly hairs.
Jenny nodded. "You're welcome." She stayed rooted to the spot. They had not seen each other for a few weeks, but Emily had called now and then, trying to bridge the gap.
The silence echoed in the kitchen, reverberating off of the gingham curtains. Sly felt the need to fill it, so he blurted out the first thing he thought of to make conversation. "I quit the band today."
Jenny blinked a few times. "Wow. Sly, you've been with the guys for years." She moved a bit closer along the counter.
Sly toed at the grout between the tiles on the floor. "I couldn't keep it up anymore. My first priority has to be my family now."
Jenny smiled inwardly, proud of her nephew for making such a mature choice. "Still, it must be hard to give it up after all these years."
Sly pursed his lips, exhaling a short burst. "Yeah. I just came from telling them the news. I still can't believe it myself; I never thought I'd leave."
"I've done a lot of things in life I never thought I'd do," Jenny said. She sat down at the table and motioned for Sly to join her. "So, tell me about your job."
Sly pulled one of the white chairs back, and it scraped along the floor. "I really do like it," he said, seating himself. "My boss, Danny, is great. He's been teaching me a lot about how a store runs, how to interact with the customers. Plus, he's just a cool guy to talk to. I don't dread coming in every day."
"That's wonderful," Jenny said. "I'm glad that you're doing something you enjoy."
After a pause, Sly's brown eyes grew serious. "Look, Jenny, I'm sorry for what I said the last time we saw each other. I didn't mean to hurt you."
Jenny shook her head. "Don't apologize, Sly. I said some things I shouldn't have, too. I shouldn't have put down your mother's memory." Jenny cleared her throat. "I hate this. I just want to leave it behind. We've had our fallings out in the past. We're just bound to fight." She put her hand over his. "We love each other too much."
Sly relaxed in his chair. "We Eckerts are a passionate bunch, that's for sure."
Something in the dining room caught Jenny's eye. "Oh, there's something I want to give you." She got up from the table.
Sly squinted at the small white box she carried back. "What's that?"
Jenny placed it in front of him. "Why don't you open it and look?"
Sly removed the box top and looked inside. He held up the small, white garment. "A baby dress?"
Jenny laughed. "Typical male. No, it's a christening gown. Specifically, the family christening gown. This was handmade in Italy by your great-grandmother, and ever since then, all the babies in the family have been baptized in it, including you."
Sly looked at the careful stitching of the gown, and moved the gentle fabric between his fingers. "This is amazing."
"It is. Now it's Jude's turn to wear it." Jenny put a hand on Sly's shoulder. "That is, if you want him to."
"Of course I want Jude to wear it." Sly carefully put the gown back in the box, and rose from his seat. "Thank you." He felt hesitation as he reached out to Jenny, but she embraced him without it.
"You're welcome. Somewhere, your grandmother is cheering, you know. She always loved tradition," Jenny said as she pulled back after the hug.
Sly looked shyly into her eyes. "Aunt Jenny, there's been something I've been meaning to ask you for a while. I put it off when we argued, but I shouldn't have." He swallowed. "I wanted to ask you if you would be Jude's godmother."
Jenny's eyes teared up. "Really? You want me?"
Sly nodded. "Emily and I couldn't think of another person we would want to guide our son in faith and in life. You did it for me, and I want Jude to experience that, too."
"Oh, kiddo. You never fail to surprise me." Jenny smiled broadly. "Yes, of course I'd love to be Jude's godmother."
"He's lucky to have you." Sly grinned at Jenny. "Me, too."
"Come here," Jenny said, and she drew him into a bear hug, laughing.