Animaniacs Transcription of A HARD DAY'S WARNERS (Episode #73)
Written by: Gordon Bressack & Charles M. Howell IV
Directed by: Audu Paden
Transcribed by: Suzanne Smiley aka: Wakkanne Warner
on Monday, October 6, 1997 with moderations on 10/7/97
I transcribed "A Hard Day's Warners" presented here. I did my best, but
mistakes still can and do happen. That means whatever errors, typos, or
misspellings seen here are purely my fault. If you happen to spot one,
please let me know (wakkanne@hotmail.com) and I will see that it is
fixed. (but let's not get too anal about it, okkay? :)
A few notes before we go on... Anything included in "[ ]" is considered
an action or instructions that the reader should know. I have not
included all "actions"; only where what the characters are doing on
the screen directly influences the dialogue. Enjoy!
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["Running From Our Fans", parody of A Hard Day's Night]
YW+D - [singing] You can see that we're blaack and whiiite
And we are running from our fans
Riding on invisible biiikes
And walking on our hands
And everywhere that we go
We get no peace, don't you know
That's why we're running from our fans.
In cartoooons
Everything's crazy and wiiild
In cartoooons
We are corrupting your chiiild!
You see we're doing wacky gaaags
While we are running from our fans
We're hiding behind maaags
And we run inside garbage cans
We always get this attention
At a cartoon convention
So we're running from our faaans
Yes, we're running from our faaans!
FANS - AAHHH! AAHHH! AAHHHH!
RALPH - Duh-ouch! Oooh! Hey, you crazy fans!
YW+D - [panting]
YAKKO - Phew! I'm glad we go away from THAT.
DOT - The fans?
YAKKO - No, that black and white segment.
SCRATCHY - Where have you kidzes been? You are late!
DOT - No, I'm Dot, but you knew that.
SCRATCHY - Shtop it! You knew that you'd have to answer zis fan mail
before the press conference.
WAKKO - Isn't there any for me?
SCRATCHY - [shakes his head]
YAKKO - Maybe it's your hat, Wakko.
DOT - People think you're hiding something.
ELVIS - H-hey man, I told ya to keep it a secret.
[knock on door]
RALPH - More mail for youses. It's for Wakko.
YAKKO - Gee Wakko, where'd you find time to write those?
WAKKO - I didn't write them... not all of them, anyway.
SCRATCHY - Please, please, this is no place for silly shenanigans! Zis
is a cartoon convention! You are the guests of honor and there
are a million fans in there!
FANS - AAHHHHH! AAAHH!
YAKKO - That guy needs a compass.
DOT - And we need an exit!
FANS - AAAHHH! AAAHHH! AAHHH!
RALPH - Doh-ahoh! Ooh! You crazy fans!
SCRATCHY - [sigh] Why couldn't I just work with the Olsen twins? [sigh]
[the Warners pass many convention booths, including a John Wilkes Booth]
JOHN WILKES BOOTH - Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry.
YAKKO - This way.
FANS - AAHHH! AAHHH! AAHHHHH!
FANGIRL - Oh my gosh, aren't you...
YAKKO - No.
FANGIRL - You look just like them.
DOT - We're not them. We've SEEN them.
FANGIRL - Really, what do they look like?
WAKKO - Theeeey look -- exactly like them.
FANGIRL - Wow. Actually, now that you mention it, you really don't look
like them.
YAKKO - No. But thanks!
YW+D - Helloooo nurse!
FANGIRL - AAAHHHHHH!!
FANS - AAAHHHHH AAAHH! AAHH AAHHH!
[the Warners put on Masks from "The Mask" to hid from fans]
FANS - AAHHH!! AAHH! AAHH! [fans run past]
YW+D - [wolfwhistle]
[they take off the masks]
YAKKO - And we did all THAT without computers.
YW+D - AAHH!!
FANS - AAHHH!!! AAHH!
SCRATCHY - Let's go! Time to meet the press!
FANS - AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
RALPH - Oooh Oooff! You crazy fans!
REPORTER #1 - Which comic book character would you most like to work
with?
YAKKO - Michelle Pfiefer.
REPORTER #1 - [laughs] She's not a comic book character.
YAKKO - Don't get technical.
REPORTER #2 - What do you like best about fame?
DOT - The scene where Irene Karah(sp?) dances on a car.
REPORTER #3 - Should your MEAN cartoons have more lessons instructing
children in acceptable behavior within the group dynamic?
WAKKO - Oh YES! That... and this.
[Wakko pushes a button on a controller which drops a 16 ton weight on
the reporter]
YAKKO - @@h, I think just this.
REPORTER #3 - I WILL be heard! Now, shouldn't your nasty cartoons
express values that are kind and gentle?
YAKKO - Yes. Kind, gentle...
WAKKO - And heavy.
[Wakko pushes the button again, this time dropping a huge anvil on the
reporter]
REPORTER #3 - You may think that's funny! But what about the people?
What do the people want?
["They Want To Laugh", parody of Can't Buy Me Love]
YW+D - [singing] They want to laaaugh, laugh
They want to laaaugh, laugh
They want to laaaugh, laaaugh, laaaugh!
YAKKO - You say you're gonna make a feature film
With animation really fiiine
DOT - You say it's gonna be a preachy film
With a heartfelt story liiine
YAKKO - Just make sure that it's good and funny
WAKKO - 'Cause things ought to make you laugh!
YW+D - They want to laaaugh, laugh
They want to laaaugh, laugh
They want to laaaugh, laaaugh, laaaugh!
FANS - AAAAHHH!! AAHHH!! AAAHH!! AAAHHHH!!
RALPH - Awwwhh! Omph! Owwoh!
FANS - AAAHHH! AAHHH! AAHHH!!
[Yakko writes on a piece of paper, folds it into a paper airplane, and
throws it. The paper airplane miraculously makes it all the way to Acme
Labs, where it lands right between Pinky and the Brain]
PINKY - Poit! Naaarf...
[Brain reads the paper]
BRAIN - At LAST Pinky! We've gotten an audience with the Pope!
Here's the address...
[Meanwhile, back at the cartoon convention]
FANS - AAAAHHHHHHHH!!! AAAAHHHH!! AAAHHHH!!!
WAKKO - I don't know if I can take it!
YAKKO - Don't worry sibs! There's one thing that will divert their
attention. Everyone please! I have an announcement! We know you
like us and thank you. But we are just three silly cartoon
characters. Friends, you should be focusing your attention on
bigger, more important things.
FANBOY - Like -- what?
YAKKO - Like, @@@@hh, Pinky and the Brain! There they are!
FANS - AAAHHHHHH!! AAAHHH!!!
P+B - Aaaaaah!
FANS - [screaming] Pinky and the Brain! [screaming]
YAKKO - Well, let's go home sibs. I think our job here is done.
P+B - [singing] We're running from our fans
Yes, we are running from our fans!
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Disclaimer:
Animaniacs, characters, names and all related indica are trademarks of
Warner Bros. (and the Warner sister) copyright 1993-1997. No challenge
to ownership here in this transcription is intended or implied.