Disclaimers are the tools of Satan!  You have been warned!

Fizzy Pop, Inc. presents

A story by }=]DarkNate

Knowledge is Power

Book Two: Know thy Self 

"Hunger!  I want it so bad I can taste it!
	It drives me mad to see it wasted
		When I need it so badly it's burnin' me!
			I'm HUNGRY!"
	-Hunger, Spectre General

Chapter 2

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Shinji's cell door opened on bright light, blinding him temporarily.  Shizuka obliged by giving Shinji a temporary external view by separating until his eyes cleared.  Shinji walked down the hall more confidently than his guard had ever seen before.  The determination in his eyes was proof that he had no fear of the commander, despite the fact that the man terrified the rest of the staff.

The door hissed open on it hydraulics, and Shinji was thrust inside, chained hand and foot.  His hateful look intensified as he saw the flash of his father's glasses in the dim room beyond.  Ignoring the urge to study the designs on the  floor and ceiling he glared at the object of his wrath.

He was thrust before his father, whose expression was unreadable.  One arm was under his desk, the other was held in front of him in its normal pose.  It looked nowhere near as intimidating as usual.

"Insubordination, ignoring orders, assaulting a superior officer.  These are serious charges.  In a regular army, you would be shot."

Shinji smirked.  "As to that last charge..."

"Yes?" Gendo was a bit surprised that the boy had interrupted him.

"I believe you are mistaken."  Shinji's smirk faded.  "I did not assault a superior officer.  Merely a higher ranking one."

Gendo's eyebrow twitched, the only hint of his displeasure.  "Perhaps I'll have you shot anyway, before I fire you from NERV."

"Too late.  I quit."  Shinji turned himself around, slowly, and shuffled to the door as best he could.  Over his shoulder, just before the door closed, he said, "And I hope your arm heals crooked, like your twisted soul."

The door snapped shut.  Shizuka, who had left a bit of his essence behind to see Gendo's reaction, noted the look of pain as Gendo lifted his other arm onto his desk.  It was swathed in bandages, leaving not even his fingers bare.  As the shadows in his office shifted, the bandages on his head became visible.  He sighed, and rubbed his face with his free hand, before flinching.

Shizuka fled, pleased.

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Shinji sat on his bunk, packing his last belongings.  Sighing, he thought back to the day before.

When the hazard team had cut open the entry plug Shinji had removed from Unit-03 before totally immobilizing the Angel, he had been totally shocked to see one of his closest non-Pilot friends being hauled out.  The pieces began to come together for him as he realized why Asuka had avoided the question of who the pilot might be, and why Misato had refused to tell him.  He became even more enraged as he listened to Shizuka tell him that Gendo had effectively given his own son orders to kill the pilot of Unit-03, if that was what it took.  And from the description of what would have happened if the Dummy Plug system had been activated, Shinji knew that was exactly what Kensuke would have been: dead.

A hate unlike anything Shinji had ever felt in his whole life boiled up inside his mind.  He shut down all systems, drained life support power to absolute minimum, and stored every scrap of power he could get in his batteries.  He had almost three full minutes worth when they arrived back at headquarters.  Shinji powered up to full combat mode, engaged every circuit block he could remember, and spotted his father.

His father.

The bloody-handed demon that had ruined his life.  Who had almost killed Kensuke.  Who never looked at him like a son, only a tool.

"Well, it's time to pay the piper!" Shinji growled, not realizing his external speakers were on.  That had been Shizuka's doing.

With a bass roar, the Eva leapt out of its restraints, which had not finished closing, and slammed into the observation deck above the cages where Gendo stood, glaring.  Shinji reared back and plunged his beast's horned head into the thick glass, shattering the windows.  Rearing back, he readied his giant, metal-shod fist for a crushing blow, when he felt a sudden pressure in the plug, just as the words drifted to him over his external pickups.

"Increase LCL pressure 50%."

Fighting unconsciousness, Shinji aimed as best he could through his blurry vision, and let fly.  The car-sized hand flew forward, with enough momentum to stop a bullet train dead in its tracks.

And it missed.

The wind of its passage knocked Gendo head over heels, slamming him into a console.  But the crushing force that would have killed him missed his fragile human body by just two feet.  It was close enough that his glasses shattered in the pressure wave, and several bones on his left side were broken.

But the demon lived.

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The next thing Shinji had known, he was in a holding cell, with so many chains on he weighed an extra 50 pounds.  But when his father had summoned him, he had stood his ground, and he had won.  The bastard would never be as intimidating ever again.  

And maybe, just maybe, Kensuke would be all right.

Shinji wanted to see his friend, but the hospital level he was on was for NERV personnel only, and he was no longer employed.  He was fortunate that Misato had offered to let him stay, but he knew he had to go.  He would only cause more trouble.  And...

He couldn't face Asuka.

He had been avoiding her ever since he had returned to the apartment.  He knew she was ashamed of him for quitting, she'd told him as much with her one glance when he saw her in the hall.  He couldn't face life without her.

His bags packed, he quietly slid open his door and made his way to the exit.  Just as he was about to leave, he heard a voice at his back.

"Running away?  That's so like you!"

Shinji cringed.  Not willing to face his tormentor, he simply said, "I'm fired.  That's the end of it."

"Gottverdamnt dummkopf!"  Now Shinji HAD to turn.  He could see the look of pain in Asuka's eyes, and knew he could do nothing to ease it.  "I'm sorry Asuka.  If I could stay, I would.  I don't care about the Evas, or NERV, or any of that other bullshit, as long as it meant I could be with you."

Asuka stepped back, partly fearful, partly surprised.  Shinji sighed.

"I really want to stay here with you.  I do.  But, there's just too many things going on that I can't let myself ignore.  This town is hell on earth, and I'm not going to get caught in the flames."  Suddenly, he looked up at her, intensity radiating from his gaze.  "Asuka, you don't have to stay here either.  Come away with me."

 she thought.  

Shinji could see from her face what she was thinking.  But he wanted to hear her say it.

"I can't.  Not even for you."

"Asuka, I-"

Asuka cut him off.  "I can't leave Shinji.  This is my whole life.  My reason for living!  I can't just leave it behind."

Shinji's face fell, but he looked up at her.  "Well, I'll be keeping in touch with Misato, so at least we'll know how things are going."  He stood up, and the door opened.  "Goodbye, Asuka."

The door slid closed, and Asuka slumped against a wall, crying.  "Goodbye, Shinji."

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On the elevator, he had a short conversation with his guardian.  "Did you know it was going to be Kensuke as the pilot?"

Shizuka hesitated, a sure sign he was about to lie or bend the truth.  "No."

Shinji pressed him.  "So who did you think it was going to be?"

A mental sigh.  That was still somehow creepy.  "Touji.  He volunteered to pilot in exchange for his sister getting transferred to the NERV hospital, and she was supposed to get better really fast."

"So why Kensuke?"

"I don't know.  Maybe he has a better synch rate, or maybe Gendo thought the poor Otaku had too much information about NERV.  Either way, he's our new Pilot.  And with the trick we pulled on Unit-03, he should be up and ready to go in no time.  I have a feeling he'll be pretty good at this."

Shinji pondered this as they exited.  "Maybe we'd better go see how Touji's doing..."

"Yeah.  I hope his sister didn't get any worse..."

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"SHINJI!  YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT!  MY SISTER'S WALKING!"

Shinji clapped his hands over his ears.  "Jeeze, tone it down a little!  I can hear you just fine!"

Touji bowed in apology.  "Sorry man!  Its just so great to have my sister getting back to normal!"

Shinji turned to look at the little girl in the pink hospital gown (thankfully it was a real dress, not one of those paper things they tie closed in the back that always come open at the worst times!) who took halting steps across the floor and back, a nurse dutifully at her side.

Shinji smiled.  "And you say that a week ago she had trouble sitting up?"

"It's the most amazing thing!  The doctors said her spinal cord had been severed in the accident, but it looks like there was just a piece of debris lodged in-between the bones.  A couple days ago, another doctor came in to look at her x-rays, noticed the weirdness in the picture, and pointed it out.  When they double checked, they found out where the stupid piece of shit was and got it out!  And now that the pressure is off her spine, she can move again!  Life is wonderful!"

"Not for everyone..." Shinji muttered.

Touji's face fell into 'serious' mode.  "What?"

"Kensuke was in an accident.  He was Piloting Unit-03 when it was taken over by an Angel.  I had to destroy the Eva."  Noticing his friends fists, he recoiled.  "I grabbed his plug and got him out of the fight first thing, I swear!  He should be fine, but they won't tell me how he's doing!"

"Why not?" Touji growled.

"Because I no longer work for NERV."  The flat tone was a dead giveaway to Touji.

"You quit?"

Shinji laughed.  "Actually, I was about to be fired.  And shot, most likely.  My father sent me out with orders to KILL Kensuke, for fuck's sake!  And you know what?  I didn't.  I saved his life, and the Eva, which can be repaired.  But I found out what he was really planning.  The Evas have an autopilot system that they can use to fight.  It would have torn them apart, and crushed Kensuke into very small pieces!  And I couldn't let that bastard think he'd gotten away with almost murdering my best friend with MY hands!"

Triumph radiated from Shinji's face.  "So I waited until the Eva was back at headquarters, and I found my father, looking at us from an observation deck.  I wound up, and I would have killed him if my punch had connected...  But he got away, choking me so I couldn't think right, and I missed him.  BY TWO FEET!  At least he'll have that broken arm to deal with."

Touji backed away.  "Dude, even I've never gone that far!  You're creepin' me out!"

"Sorry.  I was just so pissed at him...  Anyway, I'm leaving the city tomorrow.  I don't want to stay here, and have to face all the horrible memories."

Touji nodded.  "I can see how you feel, pal.  I tell you what though; this city won't last long without you.  We'll all have to leave soon."

Shinji shook his head.  "From what I learned about that autopilot, it can rip an Angel apart without taking damage.  It certainly would have destroyed Unit-03."

Touji looked Shinji straight in the eye, and put a meaty hand on his shoulder.  "And I still say you can do better than some stupid autopilot.  This city won't last without you."

Shinji smiled, and left.

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Wandering around town, Shinji almost knocked down a girl coming out of a music store, making her drop her bag.  Reaching out to steady her, he was shocked to recognize the pale blue hair and red eyes, although the white sundress was new.

"Rei?"

Rei looked down at her feet.  "I am sorry for running into you, Shinji-san.  I was listening to Beethoven, and not paying attention to my path."

"No, it's alright Rei, I should have been paying attention."  Shinji grabbed the fallen shopping bag, and found several classical CDs and a pair of headphones.  "What are you listening to again?"

"Beethoven's 5th Symphony.  I purchased these new headphones to replace my ear buds."  She brushed a lock of hair back to reveal the small ear buds hidden there.  "The headphones should have better sound quality."

Shinji smiled.  "I see.  I didn't realize you liked music."

"I enjoy classical music very much, Shinji."  She frowned.  "I am... I believe the word is disappointed."

"Wha... In me?"

"Hai.  You are running away from your responsibilities.  The Commander was a fool to let you go, and so was Misato."

"Well, I'm still leaving.  I won't kill someone again, Rei.  Not even by accident."

Rei's frown deepened.  "You will not stay gone for long.  She will not let you."

"Who?"

"Eva.  Eva wants YOU Shinji, and she will have you, one way or another."

Shinji backed away, starting to become frightened.  "That's crazy, Rei.  It's just a machine.  It can't do anything!"

Rei shook her head, and turned to walk away.  "You are wrong, Shinji.  The Eva calls to you even now.  You just haven't noticed yet..."

She walked off into the distance as Shinji stared, thinking.

Unwilling to return to the apartment for the night after his argument with Asuka and Rei's bizarre pronouncement, and realizing he needed to conserve his money, Shinji spent the night in the only place that was heated, sheltered, and open to the public: the Geofront Observation Deck.  After a late night, he fell into a deep sleep.  

He awoke to the sound of an alarm klaxon.

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Shinji stood paralyzed on the deck as Zeruel, the Angel of Might, tore open a hole in the roof of the Geofront, and floated down to face Unit-02.

"Oh Kami-sama..." Shinji breathed as the pallet rounds bounced off the hulking beast.

"Shinji, this is why I told you that you couldn't leave," said a quiet voice in his mind.

"They've still got that dummy plug, don't they?"

A sigh.

"Shizuka?  The DUMMY PLUG?"

"It won't work, Shinji.  Unit One will not activate this time."

The Angel's arms severed Unit-02's limbs, hacking them off.

"And if this Angel reaches the center of NERV, where the first Angel, Adam, lies sleeping, our world will be destroyed.  Obliterated.  As though it never existed."

Unit-02 charged forward to head-butt the Angel, and its head flew back, without its body.

"No...  No...  No...  NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   AAAASSSSUUUUUUKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"  Shinji roared with fury, sprinting for the nearest entrance to the Geofront.  He didn't see Unit-00 come out of the ground with his own eyes, but Shizuka showed it to him.

Its arm was still missing.  In its other hand, it cradled a bland gray cylinder with the symbol 'N2' emblazoned in white.  It thrust its hand into the Angel's A.T. field, and slammed the mine against the Angel's core.  Just before impact, a bone-white shield snapped closed over the red orb, and when the flash cleared, the Angel still stood, unscathed.

One of its razor-paper arms snapped forward and cut Unit-00 nearly in half at the waist.  As the Blue Giant fell, Zeruel floated forward, intent on entering the central command centers of NERV.

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Shinji arrived in the Cages at the same time Zeruel encountered the outer walls of the NERV pyramid.  His father was there, on the platform in front of Unit-01, apparently in a staring match.  His broken arm was in its sling, but his fists were clenched tight with anger.

Shinji screeched to a halt.  Gathering his breath, he screamed, "LET ME PILOT!"

All eyes in the bay turned to him.  Gendo sneered.  "Why?"

"Because...  Because...  I AM THE PILOT OF UNIT-01!" he yelled, panting.  "You need me, and we both know it!"

Gendo nodded slightly, and Shinji snagged a headset and leapt into the plug.  Settling in, he cried mentally, "Shizuka, what should I do?"

"You're angry right?  So pissed off you could destroy the world?"

"Yeah!"

"Give it to the Eva."

"What?" Shinji's tone was one of flat disbelief.

"The Eva is ALIVE, Shinji!  It can think, and feel, and move, if the restraints its human captors have placed on it are destroyed.  It needs you to tell it what to do, but it can be DRIVEN by YOU!  Yui will not let you down, and neither will I!"

"Yui?  My mom..."  He flipped the final switch, and gripped the controls.  "Where's the Angel, Shizuka?"

"Right through that wall.  Now let us go forth, and be victorious!"

Shinji didn't so much TELL the Eva to move as he WILLED it to do so.  The Purple Beast let loose a bone-shattering howl of rage, and plowed horn first through the wall.

On the other side, Zeruel didn't even have time to register this new foe before Unit-01 grabbed its ugly face with its right hand and slammed it back against the wall.  It shot out an arm, and the Eva was suddenly one-handed.

The Beast didn't even flinch.  The wound cauterized instantly, though the severed stump should have bled freely.  The Eva shoved its captive into a catapult, and over the tac-net Shinji's voice screamed something almost unintelligible.  His voice had gone raw, sounding frighteningly like the thing he was piloting.

The catapult launched them into the Geofront, and the Angel was tackled yet again.  Metal-shod fists hammered at the Angel's core, which threatened to crack.  The Eva grinned like a jackal about to devour its prey...



And lost all power.


Zeruel, its mask twisting into a semblance of a grin, threw the Eva back, and began slicing at its core.

Shinji beat ineffectively against his controls, screaming at the top of his voice.  "MOVE DAMMIT!  YOU FUCKING MONSTER!!  IF YOU DON'T FIGHT, ALL THIS WAS FOR NOTHING!!!  MOOTTHHEERRR!!!"

A flash of light, and a thud like a heartbeat.  Shinji began to fade into unconsciousness.  The last thing he heard was Shizuka saying, "I'm sorry Shinji.  It has begun..."

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 The Eva's hand came up, and grabbed the razor-paper arm in mid-strike.  It pulled hard, dragging the Angel of Might face-to-face.  With a kick, it sent the Angel flying, tearing off the arm.

While its enemy recovered, the Beast pressed the torn ribbons of paper to its own stump, and grunted in annoyance.  The paper bubbled and twisted, forming a new arm, complete with the purple armor.  Flexing its new appendage, the Beast smiled.  It was a frightening thing to see.

On the ground, Maya was hunched over her portable console, taking readings.  As Misato and Ristuko argued over the Eva's actions, she gasped in pure terror.

"I don't understand!  This is impossible!  How can anyone have a synch ratio of over 600%?!?!"

Ritsuko and Misato turned to gape at her.  "The theoretical limit on synchronization is 500%...." Ritsuko trailed off.  "What kind of demon is this!?"

The Eva lunged forward at its prey, looking for all the world like a giant jungle tribesman stalking a wounded animal.  It landed on the Angel's chest and, grabbing a nearby telephone pole, stabbed its glowing eye sockets.

Maya vomited.

The Eva plunged a hand into the dying Angel's flesh, and pulled out a glistening, blood-red orb.  Opening its jaws wide in a roar of triumph, it swallowed the S2 core whole.

As the bindings on its shoulders shattered into dust, the Eva tore chunks of the Angel's flesh from the carcass, and gorged.

Ritsuko ducked behind a tree as her own meal came up.

The Purple Beast stood, looking around.  Seeing nothing of interest, it hunkered back down to its meal.  It began carving pieces off with the progressive knife it had found in the remains or its shoulder bindings.  Its core began to glow a bright red, rather than the darker shade it had been before.

Sated, it sat down, and put its hands over its glowing core.  A bass grunt shook the air, and it closed its eyes.

Misato glowered at it.  "Put it in the cage while we can still restrain it.  NOW PEOPLE!"  To herself, she added, "And please let Shinji be okay..."
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The Eva, swathed in bandages, restraining chains, and wired sensors, seemed to glare at Ritsuko as they finished setting up their instruments.  "Now, we can't eject the plug because we don't know what might have happened to Shinji at that high a synch rate.  So now we've rigged this monitor to show us the internal view of the plug."

Asuka, Rei, Misato, and Kensuke all nodded.  Kensuke was still in a wheelchair, since his legs had been injured when his plug had been removed.  He had been told he'd be up and around in a few days.

Ritsuko nodded to Maya, who entered the commands.  Ristuko's arms were both in casts, and she was unable to type at all, thanks to a piece of the wall that had glanced off her when Unit-01 had punched through the wall.

The image cam up on the screen, and there was a collective gasp.  Asuka broke down in tears and clung to Rei.  Misato glared death at Ritsuko.  Kensuke pulled out his camera.  Rei and Maya both stared in disbelief.

The plug was empty.

Shinji had vanished.

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Author's notes:

Wow.

I always loved Zeruel.  He's my all-time favorite Angel, with Kaoru a distant second.  I felt he deserved a more interesting death, since it was a kinda one-sided fight.

Anyhow, This marks the beginning of a downward spiral of Evangelion.  The only high point is going to be-  oops, shouldn't give things away!  But trust me when I say there will be a few bright points ahead.

And as for Shinji's apparent spine when he faced down his father in his office, remember that he's been getting a lot more confidence lately, and almost murdering one of his best friends has hardened his resolve.  He's pissed off, and he's gonna get even more pissed in the a few chapters.  Once he escapes from his Eva, that is.

Yeah, he's been absorbed.  Again.  Not much I could do about that.  Some things never change.

*sigh*

Oh well.  Let's get on with the next episode, shall we?

BUT FIRST:

OMAKE TIME!

His bags packed, he quietly slid open his door and made his way to the exit.  Just as he was about to leave, he heard a voice at his back.

"Running away?  That's so like you!"

Shinji cringed.  Not willing to face his tormentor, he simply said, "I'm fired.  That's the end of it."

"Gottverdamnt dummkopf!"  Now Shinji HAD to turn.  He could see the look of pain in Asuka's eyes, and knew he could do nothing to ease it.  "I'm sorry Asuka.  If I could stay, I would.  I don't care about the Evas, or NERV, or any of that other bullshit, as long as it meant I could be with you."

Asuka stepped back, partly fearful, partly surprised.  Shinji sighed.

"Asuka, I know you don't like this.  I know you want me to stay.  But the only way you'll convince me is if you call Rei, and we have a nice little three-way right now.  I'm tired of never getting any around here!"

Asuka's eyes went red with rage, and her clawed hands grabbed Shinji's shirt.  "SHHHIIIIIINNNNNJJJJJJIIIIIIIII NNOO BAAAAAAAKKKKKKAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

She hurled him through the wall, into the next room, where he was impaled on a pile of beer cans.

Shizuka sighed.  "Oh well.  Back to the drawing board."