I spend all this time working on this stuff, keeping you waiting, and you want a disclaimer?! Skrew it! Fizzy Pop, Inc. presents A story by }=]DarkNate Knowledge is Power Book Two: Know thy Self "Why can't I be Saved by science? Can't science rescue me? Saved by technology, Since it put me In the place I seem to be." -"Saved By Science", Joanne Harris (Robotech OST) Chapter 3 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Auska, wake up!" Rei said quietly, shaking the sleeping redhead awake from her impromptu couch-turned-bed. "We are going back to the command center. Ritsuko thinks she may have something." Asuka rolled over, landing on her feet. She rubbed the last of the sleep from here eyes, and stretched. "Well, what are we waiting for? We need to find out what we can do to help Shinji!" The pair of them strode off down the hall. As they went down the elevator to the command level, Rei asked, "Do you think there is anything we can do for him?" Asuka growled. "I'll find something. Every second he's trapped in there is one second too long, and I'm gonna get him out as soon as I can. I'm gonna PROVE to him that I'm just as good as he is!" Rei frowned. "No one would argue that with you, Askua. Shinji just understands his Eva better. You should stop treating it like a giant doll, and more like the living thing it really is." Askua snorted derisively. "It's not ALIVE, Rei! It may be organic, but it's just a giant robot. It does what you tell it to and nothing more." "Then why won't Shinji's Eva let him leave? Why has it taken him into itself?" "Shut up." For once, Rei heeded the Glare of Doom, and closed her mouth. They were silent as they got off the elevator, and made the short walk to the control center where Ritsuko, Maya, Misato, and the rest of the bridge crew were running the Geofront from. As they entered, Maya motioned to a monitor the rest of the crew was gathered around. Misato spoke up, apparently carrying on a conversation that had been going on since before the girls showed up. "What do you mean 'salvage' Shinji?" Her voice hard a razor edge to it. Ritsuko replied in her normal 'scientist voice.' "Theoretically, Shinji's life-force is still there." Misato snorted derisively. "And will you be respecting that life this time around? This isn't the first time we've almost lost him." "Losing Shinji is out of the question now," Ritsuko replied, slightly miffed. "HA! You just want him to pilot again! All you want is his Eva!" Misato retorted. "I don't deny it." Asuka glared at Ritsuko, angry. Maya coughed, and tried to shift the focus back to the task at hand. "Our assumption is that Shinji's body has lost its Ego-Border and that he's now in the entry plug, but in a quantum form." "So he is just in a new form we cannot see?" Rei asked quietly. "Yes," Maya replied. "The LCL has chemically altered him to something very similar to the sea water of primitive Earth." "In fact," Ritsuko continued, "it's almost identical to the primordial soup we've made in labs." "I was never good with chemistry, what's primordial soup?" Asuka asked. "Basically, all the substances that compose Shinji's body are still preserved in the Plug and his soul is still there as well. In fact, his ego image is trying to give a form to the Plugsuit we injected." Maya nodded as her mentor finished. "In other words, the salvage operation must both rebuild his body and return his soul back into it." "Can you really do that?" Asuka asked, wide eyed. "With the Magi's support, we can." "This is all theoretical stuff though, right?" Misato asked. "You won't know what will really happen until you do it." Asuka looked worried. "He'll come back," she whispered. "He has to!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The next day, Kensuke received a clean bill of health and got out of the hospital. He immediately caught a bus over to Misato's place, hoping to get some more news. The door was open and unlocked, so he knocked and stepped in, one of his crutches clacking on the doorframe. He was surprised to find a completely sober Misato sitting on the couch, one girl on either side, all staring blankly into space. There was definitely something wrong. "Is Shinji..?" he asked. Misato blinked, and looked over at him, surprised. "Kensuke? When'd you get here?" Kensuke smiled slightly. "I just got out of the hospital today. But I guess they haven't gotten Shinji out yet, huh." His smile faded at the haunted look on Asuka's face. "Ritsuko is working on a way to get him out," Rei said quietly, "but she isn't going to be ready for another few weeks, I'm afraid. The cover-story is that he was seriously injured and he's recovering in the hospital." Kensuke nodded. "What about you guys though? I don't exactly see you sitting here on your butts for a month, doing nothing." Asuka growled. "I'm going to help bring him back. Whatever it takes. Tell the school I'm out sick too, I'll be busy at headquarters most of the time." Rei nodded in agreement. "I will help as well. If nothing else, we can make things easier for Ritsuko and her staff." Misato smiled at them. "And I've got mountains of reports to file. The last battle did a lot of damage." Kensuke put his hands behind his head. "I guess I'll just have to go to school then, so things don't look too fishy." Misato gave him one of her 'Glare of Death' looks. "Remember Mister Ida, Shinji's condition is Top Secret. If you tell anyone, Section 2 will have you in a holding cell faster than you can say 'Evangelion.'" Kensuke saluted. "Ossu!" Then, softening, he asked, "Is it okay to say I'm the new pilot?" Misato smiled. "Yes, it is. In fact, I ORDER you to inform the class, then make up a believable lie as to the location of the other three children. Your new status should distract them. However, the incident with the 13th angel is still classified. Just say everything was normal." "Ossu!" Kensuke stood as straight as possible for a person on crutches. "I will do my utmost to protect the secrets of this organization!" Asuka turned to give the poor boy a glare. "Don't get too excited, nerd. I'm still better than you'll ever hope to be in the pilot's seat, and don't you forget it." Kensuke wilted under the onslaught, and took the opportunity to salute one last time as he left. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ In the classroom the next day, everyone was talking about where the NERV pilots were, what might have happened to Kensuke, and the huge hole in the middle of the city. Just before the bell rang, Kensuke himself came through the door, sagging onto his crutches. Touji leapt out of his seat, and exclaimed, "Kensuke! What the hell happened to you?" Kensuke grinned. Since everyone in the class was looking at him, he raised his voice and did his best to stand tall. "I got beat up, that's what. I never realized how often you get the shit kicked out of you in an Evangelion!" The class erupted in noise, and a couple students knocked over their desks in their haste to stand up. The Sensei came in then, and was surprised to see Kensuke Ida back so soon. He'd gotten word from the principal about what the boy was doing now, and they were ahead in the curriculum, so he let the class have its fun. Kensuke clacked over to his chair and sat down, too tired from the long walk to school to stand any more. Raising his hands, he beckoned for quiet, and waited until he had it before starting his story. "As some of you may know, NERV America sent over the recently finished Evangelion Unit-03 some time ago. At the time, no one was designated to pilot it, and I found out about it from my various sources, who shall remain nameless to protect them." At a chorus of groans, he smirked. "Anyway, I asked Shinji who I should ask about getting a chance to try out for it, even if I wasn't all that good, and what do you know? They called me down to the office to see the person in charge and got it all set up!" Trying desperately to think up an excuse for his present condition the night before paid off now. "When we tested the Eva and I piloted it for the first time, I wasn't very good at it. The control system is like nothing you've ever experienced before! I can't get into details, but suffice it to say I fell down. A lot. And then, when I got the hang of that, they wanted me to SPAR with SHINJI in Unit-01! I got the crap kicked out of me, to say the least. They finally stopped us when I got hit in the head of the Eva and got knocked out. Later, in the hospital, I found out that the impact had crushed the cockpit and my legs both got broken when the Eva fell over and I slammed hard into the back of the cockpit with no dampeners. I wasn't in the last fight, and the Eva was still undergoing repairs. I just got out of the hospital yesterday." "Well, where are Shinji, Asuka, and Rei?" Touji demanded. "They haven't been here for almost a week now!" "Remember the last Angel attack?" Kensuke asked. Several of the children shuddered. They had been in the bunker Unit-02's head had slammed into after Zeruel had cut it off. "Well, the official story is that they're all in isolation for possibly being contaminated during the fight. But what's really happening is worse: the Commander is so cheesed off that they almost lost, not to mention that Units Zero and Two are heavily damaged, he's put all three of them in headquarters lockdown as punishment, so they can practice more! I got off because I'm still injured and my Eva isn't repaired yet, so I'm not in trouble. But that's only thanks to Misato, because she said that I'd just be in the way while she worked with the others." A chuckle swept around the room, and Kensuke bowed in his seat. "Suffice it to say that I have no idea when they'll be off the hook. It'll be at least a couple more weeks I think." More questions flew out of the crowd, and Kensuke finally had to point and choose. Hikari started off the Q & A round. "So, was that blood we saw in the bunker? I thought I could see a spine and muscles in the Eva's head!" Kensuke frowned. "Officially, I'm not supposed to know. However, since you've all seen it with your own eyes, I'll tell you what I can. The Eva series are actually biomechanical. The metal plates are really just armor. But most of you knew that already." Another girl raised her hand and was called on. "So if they're organic, how do you control it?" "Our controls act as the 'brain' of the giants. They control the muscles directly. More than that I can't say." A boy this time: "Does your Eva have better equipment than the others?" "I'm not sure. I've got enhanced sensors and stuff 'cause its newer, but I didn't get enough time to study them really well. And now my cockpit's trashed, so who knows? Next!" The sensei asked a question, to everyone's surprise. "Are there really special shelters for the NERV staff? I heard that we got the older ones that were dug earlier in the city's construction, and there's better ones down below." Kensuke shrugged. "NERV HQ got pretty badly damaged, as anyone could tell just from the observation deck. I don't think there's anything tougher than their pyramid in the whole world. One more question then I'm done." A girl, one of the prettier ones in the class, stood up. "Are you busy tonight?" A blush flooded her cheeks and she studied the floor. Kensuke, slightly surprised, smiled at her. "For you, I'll clear my schedule. Do you need my number?" She shook her head, blushing brighter. "I have it in my terminal. Can we sit together at lunch?" Kensuke's grin got even broader. "Of course!" His new girlfriend sat down amid applause and a few congratulatory whispers from her friends. Kensuke blocked Touji's incoming backslap with a crutch, whispering, "Back injury," as his friend gave him a lopsided grin. Then, raising his voice, he said, "And don't think you can weasel out classified stuff from me when I'm alone. They've got everything bugged and tapped." That got a few chuckles. Everyone knew how paranoid Kensuke was. Only this time, he wasn't kidding. He'd noticed an increased Section 2 presence that morning, spotted two of them following him in from home, and his desk had been moved, his lights replaced, and his computer tapped. He'd set up a dummy feed to the tap easily, then moved all his files onto a brand new laptop, which he kept on him at all times. Or with his neighbor when he couldn't do that. Settling in, he leaned back in his seat and stretched his sore spine as the teacher droned on about things they'd already learned. "Phase one complete," he thought to himself. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Asuka and Rei were sitting in an out of the way corner of the observation deck, putting simple code into a computer program. They knew that any of the others here could do it faster and with fewer mistakes, but they also knew that it didn't matter. They were helping Shinji. Asuka typed furiously, cutting and pasting from other sources as fast as she could to improve her speed. She'd been here for almost seven hours now, with only a five minute bathroom break and a sandwich. Rei was starting to worry. "Asuka-chan? Perhaps we should take a break. We'll just end up making more mistakes and having to go back and fix them if we strain ourselves." Asuka kept typing. "I'm fine." Rei sighed. She put her hand over Asuka's, pulling her away from the keys. She looked directly into Asuka's eyes. "You need to rest. If you make a mistake and miss it because you're too tired, Shinji might never come back. You can't help him if you don't help yourself." Asuka sighed and slumped forward. A tear ran down her cheek. "I didn't realize how much I really wanted him with me until he was gone. And now, he can't even hear me." Rei helped her friend and roommate to her feet. "Come on, let's go get something to eat and then get some sleep. You'll feel better after a few hours rest." Asuka, in some remote part of her intellect that still registered normal logic, knew that Rei was right. But the rest of her, screaming with emotions, told her that the more she worked the sooner Shinji would be back, and she could finally apologize to him. And tell him how she really felt. They ate simple instant ramen from a vending machine, as the commissary was currently closed for repairs. Asuka could barely taste hers, but gulped it down. She got up and started to go back to the computer terminal in the Observation Deck, but Rei put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Your body needs sleep. Come with me." Rei led her by the hand to a nondescript door, and into a room full of futon couches. Two of them were already set up as beds, and Rei gently but firmly pushed Asuka onto one. Then, forcing her to lie down, Rei began a gentle massage of Asuka's shoulders and back, humming a soft, soothing tune. Asuka's eyes grew heavy as her exhaustion caught up with her, and she was soon resting peacefully in a dream. Rei sighed, and lay down on her own bed. Closing her eyes, she whispered, "I hope Shinji is all right." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Thirty Days After Shinji's Absorption Into Eva Unit One: At the moment, Shinji was sitting in a strangely familiar rail car, looking at two equally familiar figures whom he could not remember meeting before. One was a little boy with Shinji's face, and the other was taller and cloaked in shadows. "Where am I?" Shinji asked the two of them. "Inside the Eva," the little boy answered curtly. "Inside the Eva?" Shinji asked in alarm. "Yes Shinji," the taller figure replied. "But... But I swore I would never pilot it again!" Shinji yelled, confused. "Perhaps," Little told him. Tall continued, "But the fact that you are here, now, is irrevocable proof that you did in fact pilot the Eva once more." "But why? Why would I do something that only hurts me, after I did so much to harm others?" "Because," Little told him, "you care for the lives of those you love." "You chose to save them, instead of condemn them," Tall added. "Those I love?" Shinji's face was now twisted in confused thought. Little. "Your friends, Touji and Hikari." Tall. "Your roommates, Rei and Misato." Little. "Your fellow Pilot, Kensuke." And together, "And your love, Asuka." Shinji buried his face in his hands. "But Asuka hates me! They all hate me! They think I'm a coward!" "They do not hate you," Tall said sadly. "You hate you." "How can I think otherwise!?" Shinji screamed. "All I do is hurt, even when I try to help!" "But those you hurt, forgive you, don't they?" Little inquired. Shinji was forced to nod. "Touji even forgave me for hurting his sister, the most important person in the world to him." Tall flashed a smile that shone white in the blackness of his face. "So if they can forgive you, why can you not forgive yourself?" "Because I don't deserve it." Little frowned. "That's a lie. You fight in ways only you can, and no other human is as good. If you do your best, and fail, did you not still do your best? That is what should be recognized, and praised." Tall added his words. "Failure is an inevitable part of life. You cannot do everything, save everyone, all the time. But you must try as hard as you can to save as many as you can as often as you can. If you do not, many more will suffer." "But if I'm doomed to failure, why should I even try? Who am I to say one person is more important than another?" Shinji looked up at them, desperate. "You must try because without trying, you won't know if you could say everyone after all. Sometimes you will fail, and sometimes you will succeed. And the successes will always outweigh the failures in your heart." Little and Tall spoke together, eyes locked on Shinji's. "But what if I can't? What if I screw up?" Shinji seemed a touch more confidant. "Then you must accept your failure, learn from it, and move on." Tall stood, and put a hand on Little, who continued, "And try that much harder to succeed the next time." Shinji's head drooped again. "And if I never succeed?" "Then at least you will have tried. And those who come after you will see what you have done, and learn from it." He wasn't sure which of them had spoken. An image of Asuka, typing furiously at a computer, swam in the air before him. She was tired, with dark circles under eyes red with exhaustion and tears. Her hair was a tangled mess, her hair band was cracked and held together with tape, and her clothes were spotted with stains and dirt. Shinji tried to reach out to her, to smooth away her fears and anxieties, but couldn't reach even the image. It shifted, to show Rei. She sat at a monitor, reading off numbers aloud. Shinji couldn't hear her, but he could see from the way her shoulders slumped, her eyes were half-closed, and the moisture in the corners of her eyes and staining her blouse that she was tired and upset. Again, he tried to reach her, standing up and walking forward, but couldn't. Another image. Misato stood looking over a railing, glaring angrily at something he couldn't see. He wanted to tell her not to look so mad, that things would be okay, but couldn't bring himself to do it. He curled up in a ball on the floor, sobbing. Little and Tall stood over him, and a white light appeared in front of them. Shinji looked up at the light, heard the gentle thumping of a heartbeat. A voice reached his ears, and his eyes filled with the vision of an open field, bright blue skies and white puffy clouds. "Shinji, you could stay here with me forever. You would never be hurt again, never feel pain or sorrow. None of the bad things in life could touch you." "Mother?" Shinji asked, incredulous. Another voice intruded on the idyllic scene. "Yui, you know he cannot stay here." It was the tall figure, holding the hand of the little Shinji. "If he remains, it is true he will feel no pain, none of the negative emotions of life." Then, it put a hand out toward the scene, and it shattered like glass. "But neither will he feel joy, hope, or love. There will simply be nothingness. Human hearts are not meant for this place." Shinji recoiled from both of them, gathering up bits and pieces of the shattered scene that lay around him. "Relax and release your soul..." his mother said, soothingly. Shinji felt the shattered glass begin to stir... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ On the deck of the Secondary Command Bridge, Maya yelled frantically to Ritsuko. "It's no good! His ego border is frozen into a fixed loop! I can't stop it!" Asuka was barely restrained from throttling the poor techie by Rei, who latched onto her friend's waist and tried to pin her to the floor. It was a close match. "The Entry Plug is ejecting!" Misato cried over the radio. "The hatch is cycling open!" Asuka and Rei both rushed over to the cages, only thirty seconds from the bridge, Ritsuko hot on their heels. When they arrived, they found Misato holding an empty Plugsuit stained with LCL. "What good is your goddam _science_!?" Misato wailed, glaring at Ritsuko. "It can't even save one small life!" Asuka fell to Misato's side, sobbing uncontrollably. Rei, fighting back her own tears, left the room to mourn in private the closest, truest, first friend she'd ever had. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Shinji saw, in the window of the train car, Asuka's wail of anguish as she clutched at his empty Plugsuit. Misato's tears moved him greatly. These weren't the tears a superior gave to a soldier who had fallen. They were the tears of a mother who has lost a son. His view shifted to show Asuka's face, soaked with tears. Her chest heaved with body-shaking sobs, her grief so great it was painful just to watch. He wished he could soothe her, but she was beyond his reach. Then, the scene shifted one last time. Rei, sitting out in the hall where no one could see her, crying. She tried so hard not to, Shinji could see that in her face. But her grief was so strong, stronger than any emotion she had yet felt, that she could not maintain her usual calm composure. That, more than anything, set him on the edge of tears himself. For Rei to feel so strongly about anything was, well, unusual. She was usually fairly reserved, even after so much time with her friends. Her emotions were usually so private you had to look deep to fins her true feelings. His mother's ghostly form appeared to him. "Do you really want to return to such pain? Isn't feeling nothing better than feeling that?" The other two appeared on his other side. "But even in the depths of such sorrow, is there not some brightness to the world? You would lose the love, the kindness, the joy of simply *living*. And there will always be some joy to balance the pain if you try even a little." Shinji looked at each of them, and turned to his mother. "I'm sorry. They are right. I want to live, even if it means I will feel, and give, pain. I will not leave the people I care about in such anguish." He took the hands of the tall figure and his younger self, and they vanished. Yui Ikari, watching them fade away, returned to the shadows of the Eva once more. "Good luck, my son." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Asuka and Misato looked up at a loud noise, like when someone squeezes a giant wad of wet laundry into a deep bucket. There, naked and covered in thick orange ooze, lay Shinji. Misato tried to get to her feet, but Asuka was much faster. She grabbed Shinji, wrapping him in a fierce hug, as though she was afraid she might loose him again. She sobbed into his shoulder, and his eyes began to open. Misato enveloped the both of them in a hug as well, yelling, "Shinji! Thank Kami you're alive!" The sound of running footsteps echoed from the hallway, and Rei appeared, skidding out onto the catwalk and rushing to Shinji's side. Seeing that he was intact and conscious, she smiled in relief and scolded, "Put on a shirt, you'll catch a cold." Joyful laughter rang through the room, and the Eva almost seemed to smile with them. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ That one took a long time to get done. Wow. Almost four months between books. But that wasn't wasted time, no sir. There's just too many projects, and none of them are complete. In any case, after three months of ignoring this chapter, it's finally been completed. To be honest, I dreaded writing this one. This whole section was crucial to Shinji's future development, as well as the girls and Kensuke, but I just couldn't figure out a way to do it and still remain true to the original nature of this episode. So, in the end, I just put it off and figured it would come to me eventually. The strangest things will cause a spark. In this case, the trigger that finally got me working on this again was a short 4-volume manga: Alien Nine. If you haven't read it, do so now. Even if that means sitting in the bookstore for an hour and reading a volume cover to cover, dodging the staff. I saw the four-episode OVA a year ago, liked it a lot, and moved on to other things. Then, I spotted the first volume of the manga on a routine shopping trip to the one bookstore in my college town that carries manga and anime. I snapped it up immediately. That same semester at the school anime club's bi-yearly mini-con, I cosplayed as one of the girls: Yuri Ootani. The hat took two months to finish, the rest of the outfit I did the night before. I was never so obsessive over ANY anime or manga ever before, nor am I likely to be. In July, I found the other three volumes. The manga author took four years to finally release the fourth volume; he'd planned to stop at the third, and gave into the fans. That reminded me of my own book project. I figured it was time to start working again. And you know what? It just worked. So here we have it. This one is shorter than I originally planned, but the longer text I was going to use--an edited version of the transcript of what Shinji saw in the Eva in the episode--just didn't fit the mood I wanted to project. So I made it up instead. Adding Asuka and Rei into the final scene will work better with what I have in mind for the next chapter. Yes, Asuka still gets her mind raped. But Shinji's new spine has suddenly hardened to adamantium, and another confrontation is imminent. How will he react to not being allowed to pilot and save his love? Only time will tell. And I really want to write this next chapter, so we may not have long to wait. But for now, its time for OMAKE! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Asuka and Misato looked up at a loud noise, like when someone squeezes a giant wad of wet laundry into a deep bucket. There, naked and covered in thick orange ooze, lay Shinji. Misato tried to get to her feet, but Asuka was much faster. She grabbed Shinji, wrapping him in a fierce hug, as though she was afraid she might loose him again. she sobbed into his shoulder, and his eyes began to open. Misato enveloped the both of them in a hug as well, yelling, "Shinji! Thank Kami you're alive!" The sound of running footsteps echoed from the hallway, and Rei appeared, skidding out onto the catwalk and rushing to Shinji's side. Seeing that he was intact and conscious, she smiled in relief and scolded, "Put on a shirt, you'll catch a cold." Then she slowly and sensuously removed her own top, draping it on Shinji's head. As Asuka looked on in shock, Misato stood and did the same, joining Rei in a slow striptease. Then, when both of them were down to just panties, they grabbed Shinji again and began making out with him, as he groggily let them have their way. "YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF HENTAI!" Asuka yelled, furious. She ripped the railing away from the catwalk and began to beat them to death with it, impaling them all on the vertical pieces. Shizuka looked on at the carnage and sighed. "At least it wasn't Shinji's fault for once. Oh well, back to the drawing board."
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