"What?......"

Tommy was shocked. No, the word is too weak. Tommy was paralysed by the gigantic wave of shock that had just hit him. It was 6.13pm, Tommy had opened the door of his house as his 'guest' rang the doorbell. But, never in his imagination, he would have thought for one second that he would be standing infront of 'him'. The person who had hurt him the most. The person who had stabbed him in the back.

"You?" Tommy whispered weakly. He couldn't believe his eyes.

Trevor Benjamin Matthews. Two years older than Tommy. He looked a lot like his little brother and that was it. That's the only thing they have in common, their physical similarities. "Hi, lil'bro!" A warm and tender smile was decorating his face.

Tommy's face became bloody red. His eyes burned as he clenched his fists. He lost the hope of ever talking to or even seeing his brother. For Tommy, Trevor died a few years ago. That boy standing infront of him right now was just someone he had never met before.

"Geez, I thought that growing up would give you some good manners but as I can see, that's not the case. So I guess I'll just have to invite myself in!" Trevor said, acting like if he just returned from staying at a friend's house. He was going to enter when Tommy pushed him away.

"I don't know who you are, I think you're at the wrong address!" Tommy replied, rather coldly. Trevor stared back at his brother with a sigh. "Go away, or else I call the cops!"

"Cut the crap, butt-face!" Trevor answered, his smile fading. "I had a very long day, and I'm very very tired. I'm going to go in and get some rest, coz' this is my mother fucking house! Understood?"

Silence. Tommy's eyes were angrily watered. He could even feel his aching heartbeat. But, he stood still and remained silent. Trevor sighed and pulled his bag back up and walked towards the door. He entered. Slowly. Tommy didn't move. Trevor smiled and went further in. For a few moments Tommy stood still and then walked out of the house, slamming the door.

Tommy, as he walked, still couldn't realise that his brother was back in town. So many times he has wished for Trevor to come back, to put things back in their original place. Tommy was the most affected when Trevor went away. His dad was upset and deceived, and his mom, she didn't show any real signs of sorrow. Tommy thought she was just hiding them. That was the exact opposite of him. Tommy showed that he missed Trevor, he cried, he screamed, sometimes he exploded and threw some tantrums. But with time, the wound started to heal. And from sorrow, hate was born. Tommy hated his brother. At least, that's what he wanted to feel.

"If only I could talk to Fox..." Tommy whispered. He wanted to go to his best friend's house, but he knew Fox wasn't there. Finally, he decided to go to a place where his cousin used to go. The Ancient Garden. Shawn brought Tommy there several times, but ever since he met Corey, Shawn kind of left Tommy on his own. But the latter wasn't too sad about it. He still liked Shawn a lot but now there was Fox, so it didn't matter too much.

It was already dark when Tommy arrived at the garden. It seemed such a lonely place. The garden wasn't very much visited. Not many people take some of their time to walk around in that garden. All right, it wasn't the most beautiful garden ever, but it was 'cute'. That's what Shawn always said, and he also commented that the garden wouldn't be so special if a lot of people came to walk around. Tommy did find some sense in that fact.

As Tommy walked around, with the weak mini-versions of streetlights to enlighten a bit the area, he thought about anything and everything. How the little 'band' he formed part of broke into pieces when Shawn fell in a coma. Kevin stayed alone everyday at school, but still seemed quite in a normal mood and Corey...well...he seemed like a zombie now. Tommy tried to talk to the french boy but with no big success. Corey replied with short sentences only. Finally, Tommy gave up and let Corey be alone. Only Fox stayed the same. He was, of course, sad for Shawn but his mood remained idle. But, Tommy did notice a slight change in his attitude recently. He didn't say anything about it though, he didn't want to invade Fox's privacy. Then he thought about his brother. He quickly kicked those thoughts away, he didn't want to get angry or anything. He just walked and sat on a bench. Some mosquitoes were flying around, which annoyed Tommy a little but his attention to them faded away. He closed his eyes to rest for a little moment, then...he would go back home.

"Tommy?" Corey asked with a weak voice as he sat down next to Shawn's cousin on the bench. The latter looked back at him, a bit surprised. "I'm sorry. Didn't mean to scare you," Corey apologised.

"Uh...no it's okay," Tommy replied with a little smile. Corey smiled back very weakly and then went in his thoughts. "How are you?" Tommy asked as he noticed Corey's red eyes.

Corey remained silent. Like usual. Tommy wasn't really surprised and decided to stay silent too. If Corey didn't want to talk, he shouldn't force him to. But, still, with that slightly torned jacket, that dark red t-shirt which seemed to have been worned a hundred times, those dark blue jeans which wasn't much better, Tommy felt sad for the french boy. He wanted to give him a hug and tell him to hang on, that Shawn would come back and that everything can be better if he opened his heart.

"I just lost my job," Corey said, almost whispering. His eyes were lowered, his fingers were holding each other and his thumbs were rubbing each other slowly. Tommy asked what was that job and Corey replied, "I got myself a job a week ago, at the ice cream shop. But, today, I got fired."

"Why? What happened?" Tommy demanded, with a very friendly voice. Finally, it seemed that Corey was unlocking the door to his heart.

Corey sighed and explained, "I fell asleep. I was supposed to run the shop as from 4pm up to 6. So, I think I fell asleep around 4.30 or so and then the owner came back to check how I was doing and he saw me sleeping on the counter."

"I see. So, he fired you because of that?" Tommy asked back, even if he knew the answer. He just didn't want to remain silent.

"Yeah. I guess the shop could have been robbed if ever...oh well... I didn't really like that job anyway, so...it doesn't matter," replied Corey, trying to break a smile. But it was difficult. Tommy tried to help by smiling too, but it didn't really do the trick.

Silence fell over for a little while. Tommy wanted to talk about his problem but, compared to Corey's, it seemed so un-important. Tommy wanted to help Corey, but he didn't know how. He thought about Fox and Shawn, and realized that the solution was really simple. All Tommy had to do was to act like a friend. That's all.

"Do you live far from here?" Tommy asked, decorating his face with a friendly smile. Corey answered that his house was just a few blocks away. "I'm feeling a bit cold, not you?"

"Yeah, a bit. You're going back home?" Corey replied, feeling a bit rejected by Shawn's cousin. He didn't want to be alone. He was tired, exhausted by life's crual game.

"No. But...I was thinking...maybe...we could go to your house. We could talk there and...maybe watch a movie or something, I dunno. What do you say?" Tommy asked, his smile burning with friendship. It surprised Corey. A lot. He agreed with a smile.

"It's been a little while since I last cleaned up, I hope you won't mind too much," Corey said as he opened the door of his house. They entered and Corey invited Tommy to sit on the couch of the living room while he went to get something to eat and drink. Tommy was proud of himself.

"Hahaha! You really dreamt about that??" Tommy asked, incapable of stopping his burst of laughter. Corey told him about the dream he had while he was asleep in the ice-cream shop. Corey dreamt that Taylor came and proposed his friendship and that he even hugged him. Tommy couldn't stop laughing. Corey laughed a little bit too.

"I really thought it was true but when I woke up, thanks to my employer's rough head-slap, I realized it was all a dream. I was a bit upset though," Corey said, smiling a little. That last sentence pinched Tommy's curiosity.

"Why?" Tommy asked back, trying to kill his laughter.

Corey sighed, rather sadly, and replied, "I...I really needed...I..." He couldn't say it. He didn't want to force Tommy to do it. Corey needed a hug, a friend's hug. Corey lowered his eyes as tears started to come to his eyes. Tommy came closer to the french boy.

"Hey...why are you crying?" Tommy asked, with a very sweet voice, as he, hesitantly, put his arm across Corey's shoulder. Corey didn't reply, he couldn't. "I...I wanted to help you. Please, let me help you. Or else...or else Shawn will kick my butt when he'll wake up!" Tommy tried to cheer up the french boy. It resulted in little success.

Corey, after a short moment, stopped his tears and wiped them from his face. And while sobbing a bit, he asked Tommy a favor. "I need a... I need a friend. I need to have someone to...console me...to tell me everything will be okay...I'm so tired...I'm so fucking tired of crying...of this torture...of this pain...I want him to come back...MAKE HIM COME BAAAACCCCKKK!!!!!!!!" Corey broke in tears, painful and filled with sorrow, hate, anger, passion and love.

Tommy understood why Corey was upset when he found out that his dream was just a dream. Tommy pulled Corey close to him for a huge, warm and friendly hug and let him cry on his shoulder. Corey's heart was relieved and his soul fed itself with Tommy's shower of care and friendship.

"...please...can you stay with me...tonight?" Corey demanded, wrapped in Tommy's caring arms.

"Yeah. I'm here for you, you can count on me," Tommy replied as he tightened the hug with the french heartbroken boy. Tommy was so proud of himself. Shawn would have been so too.

Written by Cloud Angel
Copyright © 2002 by Cloud Angel,
All rights reserved