About DSMBC

DSMBC is a multi-national corporation with offices located in dumpsters and freeway medians throughout the known world. Originally incorporated by a group of renegade Freemasons in colonial times, its tentacles reach to the highest levels of power in the United States and the European Union. The identities of its Board of Directors remains a secret, although they meet twice monthly in the stockroom of a defunct Shakey's Pizza in Missoula, Montana to argue over what to do with all the Green Stamps they saved but never redeemed.

DSM

 DSM is an elusive figure with a long and checkered history. It is assumed that there has been a long line of DSMs since the late seventeenth century. Children in colonial times played a game much like today's popular "Where's Waldo?" entitled "Find Ye DSM." Over the years the influence of DSM and his endeavors has grown; at present it is widely believed that he controls global weather conditions, and that he can bowl a perfect game. Many dispute the latter. For more information, visit your local library.

Jobs at DSMBC

 Our entire organization is staffed by interns lured here by the promise of eventually ascending into the empyrean of the enterprise. Many are called, but few are chosen. Should you desire to join this hopeless quest, please send your resume to:

Hopeless Quest
P.O. Box 00001
Missoula, Montana 59803-00001

Make sure to include information on any previous cult experience.

Advertising on DSMBC

DSMBC has extensive media properties and outlets. We can broadcast your message through numerous avenues - from the sides of milk cartons to our patented "NeuroDream" IntraCranial Probecasting. For more information, contact us at:

DSMBC Advertising
P.O. Box 00002
Missoula, Montana 59803-00002

Note: "NeuroDream" IntraCranial Probecasting service is not available in all states. Void where prohibited.

Terms, Conditions, and Privacy

The services of DSMBC are provided to you free of charge with the following conditions:
  1. You brush your teeth and floss daily
  2. You're kind to your mother, animals, and small children
  3. You send us the keys to your house and tell us when you'll be out of town

In this day and age, what with the internet and all, it's important to understand that an expectation of privacy is ridiculous. As a matter of fact, if you look behind you, you'll notice a small pinhole near the top of the wall. We've installed a camera there, and have been watching you for months. Don't worry, we won't tell the IRS (or your spouse/mother/employer) what you've been doing. We will be contacting you shortly with our demands .

Y2K Statement

"Happy New Year!"

Contact DSMBC


DSMBC World Headquarters
P.O. Box 00003
Missoula, Montana 59803-0003


















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