KAREL'S CHEESE HOUSE

Blonde jokes

51.
BLONDE #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
BLONDE #2: "No, who wrote it?"

52.
Did you hear about the blonde mom who kept an icepack on her chest to keep the milk fresh?

53
A government study has shown that blondes do have more fun - they just don't remember who with.

54.
... then there was the blonde who started the restaurant with the slogan "Billions Served - just today"

55.
Did you hear about the blonde bride that was so horny she carried a bouquet of batteries?

56.
What about the blonde who gave birth to twins? Her husband is out looking for the other man.

57.
Did you hear about the blonde who:

had more on her body than on her mind?
was called "Sanka" because she had no active ingredient in the bean?
took an hour to cook Minute Rice?
got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?
was an M.D. - Mentally Deficient?
had a terrific stairway, but nothing upstairs?
thought nitrates were cheaper than day rates?
was told she was a silly puss, but insisted she didn't have a crazy cat?
after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?
went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?
brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
thought Moby Dick was a venereal disease?
thought that a sanitary belt was a shot from a clean whiskey glass?
thought that intercourse was a state highway?

58.
BLONDE #1: "It's embarassing, but every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm."
BLONDE #2: "Gee, what are you taking for it?"
BLONDE #1: "Snuff."

59.
BLONDE: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It's 3:15."
BLONDE: (puzzled look on her face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

60.
MALE SECRETARY: "Feel free to use my dictaphone."
NEW BLONDE EMPLOYEE: "No thanks, I'll just use my finger like everyone else."

61.
Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger:
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!

62.
Did you hear the one about the blonde who thought that "love handles" referred to her ears?

63.
A blonde goes into a bar. The bartender asks her what she would like, and she replies, "Bring me a beer."
The bartender then asks, "Anheuser-Busch?" To which she replies, "Fine thanks, and how's your cock?"

64.
Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went ? It finally dawned on here.

65.
DOCTOR (Taking up his stethoscope): "Big breaths."
ADOLESCENT BLONDE: "Yeth, and I'm not even thixteen."

66.
A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around an drove home.

On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.

67.
How about the suicide blonde, she dyed by her own hand.

68.
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"

69.
A man comes home from work one night to catch his blonde girlfriend sliding down the banister, naked. He blurts out, "What do you think you're doing!?"
"Just heating up dinner," she replies.

70.
A man and his blonde girlfriend were fooling around when the blonde asked, "Would you mind taking off your ring? It's hurting me."
"Ring, nothing." he quipped, "That's my wristwatch."

71.
Hubby: As a start I think you should learn to "iron", then we could do without the ironing lady. Blonde Wife: Well, if you would learn to fuck me properly we could do without the gardener.

72.
A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends:
Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!
Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.
Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.
Blonde: ( looking shocked ) Oh, you mean with one guy.

73.
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those arn't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, and one half hour later they were both killed by a train.

74.
The blonde came running downstairs, crying. Her mother asked what was wrong and the blonde said her boyfriend had just dropped her. Her mother (a blonde) nodded wisely and proceeded to tell her about the birds and the bees and the blonde said: "No ma. I can fuck and suck with the best of them. But he says I can't cook"

75.
A blonde was telling a priest a Pollock joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?"
"Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?"

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