| Aussies:Do not sing at all but prefer
a large brass band to perform the anthem. Believe you should look out for
your mates. |
| Brits: Believe that you should look
out for those people who belong to your club. |
| Americans: Believe that people should
look out for and take care of themselves. |
| Canadians: Believe that that's the
government's job. |
|
| Aussies: Dislike being mistaken
for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. |
| Canadians: Are rather indignant about
being mistaken for Americans when abroad. |
| Americans: Encourage being mistaken
for Canadians when abroad. |
| Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for
anyone else when abroad. |
|
|
| Americans: Spend most of their
lives glued to the idiot box. |
| Canadians: Don't, but only because
they can't get more American channels. |
| Brits: Pay a tax just so they
can watch 4 channels. |
| Aussies: Export all their crappy
programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves
them. |
|
|
| Americans: Love to watch sports on
the idiot box. |
| Brits: Love to watch sports
in stadiums so they can fight with other fans. |
| Canadians: Prefer to actually engage
in sports rather than watch them. |
|
|
| Americans: Will jabber on incessantly
about football, baseball and basketball. |
| Brits: Will jabber on incessantly
about cricket, soccer and rugby. |
| Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly
about hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice,
playing baseball. |
| Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly
about how they beat the Poms in every sport they played them in. |
|
|
| Americans: Spell words differently,
but still call it "English." |
| Brits: Pronounce their words
differently, but still call it "English." |
| Canadians: Spell like the Brits,
pronounce like Americans. |
| Aussies: Add "G'day", "mate," and a
heavy accent to everything they say. |
|
|
| Brits: Shop at home and have goods
imported because they live on an island. |
| Aussies: Shop at home and have
goods imported because they live on an island. |
| Americans: Cross the southern
border for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a backwards country. |
| Canadians: Cross the southern border
for cheap shopping, gas and liquor in a backwards country. |
|
|
| Aussies: Are extremely patriotic
to their beer. |
| Americans: Are flag waving,
anthem singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness. |
| Canadians: Can't agree on the
words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them. |
| Brits: Do not
sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem. |
|
|
| Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting
beer. |
| Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting
beer. |
| Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting
piss. |
| Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol
in it. |
|
|
| Brits: Are justifiably proud
of the accomplishments of their past citizens. |
| Americans: Are justifiably proud
of the accomplishments of their present citizens. |
| Canadians: Prattle on about
how some of those great Americans were once Canadian. |
| Aussies: Wallow on about how
some of their past citizens were once outlaw Pommies, but none of that
matters after several beers. |
|
|
| Americans: Seem to think that
poverty and failure are morally suspect. |
| Canadians: Seem to believe that
wealth and success are morally suspect. |
| Brits: Seem to believe that
wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things. |
| Aussies: Seem to think that none of
this matters after several beers. |
|
|
| Canadians: Encourage immigrants to
keep their old ways and avoid assimilation. |
| Americans: Encourage immigrants
to assimilate quickly and dump their old ways. |
| Brits: Encourages immigrants to go
to Canada or America. |
|
|
| Canadians: Endure bitterly cold
winters and are proud of it. |
| Brits: Endure oppressively wet
and dreary winters and are proud of it. |
| Americans: Don't have to do
either, and couldn't care less. |
| Aussies: Don't understand what inclement
weather means. |
|
|
| Aussies: Have produced comedians
like Paul Hogan and Yahoo Serious. |
| Canadians: Have produced many
great comedians, like John Candy, Martin Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd,
and all the rest at SCTV. |
| Americans: Think that these
people are American! |
| Brits: Have produced many
great comedians, but Americans ignore them because they don't understand
subtle humor. |
